Read The No Cry Discipline Solution Online
Authors: Elizabeth Pantley
Discipline and Cooperation: Choose Your Adventure
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Mother-Speak
“ We love doing the cooperation games, making things talk,
and making cooperation fun. If life can’t be fun for a child,
then what’s the point in being a child? The adult world is
so very serious, there’s plenty of time for that. So, with our
daughter we try not to take too many things too seriously.”
—Kristi, mother to Arianna, age 3
Engage the Imagination
A variation on the Make It Talk technique that also works very
well is to capitalize on a young child’s vivid imagination as a way to
thwart negative emotions. You might pretend to fi nd a trail of cat-
erpillars on the way to the store, hop to the car like a kangaroo, or
pretend a carrot turns you orange as you eat it. Vegetable soup can
be transformed into a magic power brew, a toothbrush can have a
voice and locate every speck of food on the teeth as it does its work,
or the toys can come alive and make a parade into the toy box.
Children love to pretend, and, by entering their world and
playing along with them, you can prevent many skirmishes over
everyday chores. Once you open your mind to the possibilities,
you’ll see that almost any event can be sweetened with a little fun
imagination.
Sing a Song
Even if you can’t carry a tune, putting anything to music makes
you easier to listen to and more fun, too. You can wash your child’s
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No-Cry Discipline Parenting Skills and Tools
hands while singing “This is the way we wash our hands, wash our
hands.” One mom of fi ve discovered a great way to keep her chil-
dren content during car rides. She loved to sing, so she made up
opera tunes about the scenes she saw as she drove along the road.
Her children would often chime in with their own versions.
You can sing whenever the spirit moves you. You can sing songs
that you know just to liven up the moment, or you can create a partic-
ular song to be used as a cue to certain tasks—such as a cleanup song
that takes place whenever the toys are picked up and put away.
A beautiful side effect of putting your words to music is that
both you and your child will end up feeling much happier.
Mother-Speak
“ I learned the hard way about being too serious versus making
a game out of things. One day, Maya and I were going for a
walk to the park. When we walked through a neighbor’s yard
she picked up some pebbles and threw them. I told her that
we don’t throw rocks. Then I said, ‘If you throw those again,
then we are going home and not to the park.’ She did throw
them again, so I picked her up and we started back home.
She screamed bloody murder the whole way. I was sure the
neighbors were all watching me do the walk of shame home
with a screaming child. Long story short, I guess it was good
that I kept my word but I learned that lots of times I was going
much too quickly to the consequence, without attempting a
more pleasant approach fi rst. Now when something like that
happens, I am more creative. We usually end up following
imaginary caterpillars or marching in a parade to the park.
And it’s so much nicer for both of us.”
—Michelle, mother to Maya, age 3