The Broken

The Broken

Smashwords
Edition

Copyright 2013
Ker Dukey

Published by
Ker Dukey at Smashwords

I
t’s the night of my sixteenth birthday, sweet
sixteen. Everyone’s sixteenth should be memorable. Mine will be,
just not for the right reasons.

Sammy’s hands
are touching my skin, his breath on my neck, and his words in my
ear. He’s my brother’s best friend, and our next door neighbour.
He’s the same age as my brother, two years older than me, and he
has always been my first and only crush. I’ve felt things for him
since the first day I laid eyes on his dark, unruly hair and
soul-warming blue eyes. His smile is sweet; his laugh gives me
goose bumps. His eyes light up whenever I enter a room and I know
he feels the same way about me. He used to call me Twinkle Toes
because I’m a dancer, and as I got older, Twinkle Toes became just
Twink. He’s who I feel inside me, taking my virginity. He’s loving
me, caressing my skin, giving me that special first time all girls
should have. He looks into my eyes, tells me how beautiful I am,
how much he loves me. He is who I feel sliding his length in and
out of my sacred place.

“I love you so
much, you know that right? You owe me this, River.”

His words break
through my daydream, Sammy’s image fades, and Danny’s takes its
place. His tears drip into my neck, itching my skin; his fingers
slightly pinching the skin on my cheek as he holds my face to one
side. His heavy body weights me down, pinning me to my small
childhood twin bed. A burning sensation and a sharp stabbing pain
assaults me as he thrusts inside me. I hold back my screams,
swallow them down, burying them, but I’m worried if I hold the
tears in they will flow inside me, drowning me, and so I let them
flow from my eyes. My pillow soaks them into its soft plump fibre;
the pillow that usually offers me comfort at night will now forever
hold the tears from my stolen innocence. He thrusts harder and
grunts before his body relaxes and I feel more of his weight press
against my small frame, making it hard for me to breath. He’s still
muddy from the garden; it’s dirtied my sheets and nighty. He grips
my chin and forces me to look into his dark brown eyes. “You belong
to me. What I did for you and your brother, I’ll never tell anyone
if you admit you belong to me and that you wanted this.”

I force down
the lump in my throat and ask him why he’s crying. His eyes narrow.
“Because I love you and you just gave me something beautiful, now
say you belong to me.” He growls the last words, his grip
tightening on my chin. “I…I...belong …to...y…you,” I stutter.

He grins and
lifts from my body. There’s a burning ache between my thighs. I
wait for my door to close behind him as he leaves before I pull my
knees up to my chest and roll into the fetus position. I cry,
broken. I cry for my brother, I cry for my father, I cry for my
stolen innocence, and I cry for Sammy. I was meant for him.

I
’m lying, looking at the ceiling, going over the
grocery list in my mind. Danny is telling me he loves me as he
thrusts inside me. I feel my body moving, but I’m numb and his
words sound distant. I moan on cue; it’s built into me and I don’t
even notice when I’m doing it anymore. When his weight shifts off
me, I get up from the bed and head for the shower. I turn the tap,
wait for the splutter, and then the water flows like rain. I check
the temperature and slip under the warm stream. It pitter-pats over
my skin and I close my eyes, relaxing into the flow of water.

“You’re so
beautiful, River. I hate that other men get to look at you.”

I startle at
the sound of Danny’s voice. I didn’t realise he followed me in
here. It’s his calm voice; his thinking too much voice. My heart
rate increases, there’s a slight tremor in my hands. He has such a
dominating, dark presence for someone of only twenty two years old,
like he’s lived more lifetimes before this one.

“I’m yours,
Danny,” I tell him.

There’s a
slight break in my voice. I get nervous when he’s like this. This
could end with him proving to me I belong to him.

“Tell me you
love me, Riv.”

My stomach
drops. I need to be so careful and make my voice sound strong. I
open my lips, taking in some of the water trickling down my face to
moisten my dry mouth. “I love you, Danny.”

He scrubs his
hands down his face and lets out a shaky breath.

“I love you
too, so much.”

He steps into
the shower and pulls me into him; I’m crushed against his chest,
his strong arms squeezing me so tight my ribs hurt. He stays with
me like that until the water turns cold.

I dress in jean
shorts and a white t-shirt. It pulls slightly tight at my breasts,
like most of my tops, and leaves a small slither of navel showing.
My body is not that of a typical dancer. I have a D cup bust and a
small toned waist, which only magnifies my large chest. Although I
have a small waist, I have hips and too much ass; most people tell
me I’m lucky to have my figure, but they aren’t the ones who
struggle for clothes to fit right.

“Hey, sis,”
Blaydon calls as I enter the kitchen. He’s sitting at the old
wooden breakfast table that has so many scratches and dents it
looks like it’s been dragged out of a wood chipper and glued back
together. His eyes come up to mine as he continues pushing cereal
around a bowl, but not eating any. He has dark circles under his
eyes, his overgrown shaggy blonde hair tucked behind his ear needs
a comb, and he looks worn out. I walk up behind him and slip my
arms around his shoulders, my cheek resting on his head. “You have
trouble sleeping last night?”

He pats my arms
and half smiles. “Don’t I always?” The sadness in his voice breaks
my heart. “Is Danny here?”

I release my
hold on him and smile, its fake but he never notices. I point down
the hall to Danny coming out of my room. He locks eyes with Blaydon
as he saunters into the kitchen. “You low again?” Danny asks Blay
with a raised eyebrow. Blay drops his head, shoulders slumping in
defeat.

“Yeah, I went
to a party last night, shared with Maria.”

Danny shakes
his head in frustration. “She’s always fucking using you for your
drugs, Blay. Cut the bitch loose, this is the last time I give you
extra. We can’t afford to supply that bitch’s habit as well as
yours.” Blaydon exhales hard and looks up to Danny.

“I know, man,
I’ve cut her loose, I told her.”

I watch as
Danny pulls out a small clear bag from his jeans. It has pills
inside, and he slides it across the table to Blaydon. My heart
constricts when Blay grabs at it like its water in a desert. I slip
around Danny and head outside for the mail.

The summer heat
hits me as soon as I step off the porch; I feel the kiss of the sun
on my skin. I close my eyes and pretend I’m somewhere else; a
meadow, clear crystal blue skies the same colour as Sammy’s
eyes.

“Damn, you’re a
fine piece,” I hear a male voice say. I open my eyes and look over
at Sammy’s house. He hasn’t lived there for four years, but to me
it will always be Sammy’s house. Jase, Sammy’s nine-year-old
brother, is sitting on the steps leading to their porch. A guy
holding a bottle of Jack Daniels is leaning against the pillar at
the top of the steps. I walk over and he ogles me like a sex
starved pervert in a brothel. “Hey, sugar. Want to come party?” he
croons, offering me the half empty bottle of Jack.

I grimace and
shudder. “God, no.”

My eyes travel
over his unkempt, black, greasy hair. He has small, beady eyes and
he’s wearing last night’s clothes. I can tell because they’re
crumpled and have a few stains slopped down the front. I look down
to Jase. He’s in his PJs, his blonde messed-up mop in disarray on
top of his head. He looks tired. He could pass as a young Blay, and
if I didn’t know better, I would say he’s Blay’s kid. “Hey, buddy.
What are you doing out here like that?” I point to his outfit.

He shrugs. “Mom
locked me out while she speaks to her friend. She’s taking
ages.”

I look up at
the creeper staring at my t-shirt like he has X-ray vision and
stamp up the steps. “How long has he been out here? And why are you
out here?”

His filthy eyes
trail down my body and back up, and he licks his lips. “She’s just
seeing to my friend. He knows her or some shit; I’m just waiting
for him.”

I turn to Jase.
“Have you had breakfast?”

He shakes his
head. I look at my watch, it’s a little after twelve.

“Blay’s inside
having breakfast. Why don’t you go in there and get him to make you
some?”

Jase jumps up
and runs off into my house. I wait for my front door to close
behind him before I wrap my knuckles hard against the door.

“Sandra, open
this door!” I screech as my knuckles begin a steady thump on the
wood. Creepy guy reaches for me, his hand brushing down my
back.

“Come on,
sugar. Leave them be, you can keep me company.”

I bat his hand
away. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

He steps
closer. “Come on, don’t be like that, sugar.”

I glare at him,
daring him to touch me again. He reaches and grabs my ass. “Keep
your fucking hands of me, creep!” I slap him across the face so he
stumbles back.

“You fucking
bitch!” He steps towards me. I see movement in my peripheral
vision, but I’m too pissed off to look to see who it is. Only Danny
gets to touch me and talk to me how he wants, because I owe him. He
owns me, so to make up for having to submit such a big part of who
I am to Danny, I refuse to take shit from anyone else. I pull my
arm back and crack him right on the nose. It hurts like a bitch,
but when I see his blood trickle from his nostril, I smile. He
lunges at me, and I see a blur of movement, then feel hands on my
hips and a body blocking my view. He’s saying things in a calming
voice like I’m a scared child; did he not see me punch that creep?
I start to speak when the figure from behind him comes into view.
My heart skips, then pounds erratically. I look down, sure I’ll see
it beating out of my chest. I’m holding my breath, memories storm
my brain, crashing through me like a tornado, twisting and pulling
at every emotion, leaving me a mess.