Equivocal Death (56 page)

32

The room seemed suddenly hotter, filled with a shimmering haze.

33

Of course, she’d known that Sarah Daniels was a child psycholo-34 sh

gist, that she was working on a book about adoption. This part of 35 re

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Justin’s story had the ring of truth. And if this part were 2

true . . . But she wouldn’t think about that, not now.

3

“They made me go talk to Sarah ’cause I was a
bad kid.
” Justin 4

seemed to relish the words. “I was heading nowhere fast, that’s 5

what they said. At first, I didn’t want to talk to her. She was just 6

another asshole social worker. Another do-gooder who didn’t 7

know shit.”

8

Even the cadence of Justin’s voice had changed. Kate thought 9

crazily of
The Exorcist.
Linda Blair. Split pea soup. Justin’s head 10

turning round and round.

11

“I don’t know why I was even listening that day, the day that 12

everything started,” Justin said. “Maybe I was just too hung over to 13

do anything else besides listen. But she said this thing. She said 14

that I had to have
goals.
I remember when she said that, something 15

clicked. It was like my mother — my
real
mother — was there, 16

helping me to get on with my life. The plan didn’t come all at 17

once. But that’s when it started. That’s when
everything
started.”

18

“Your mother. The woman in the picture.” Kate tried to sound 19

detached, but her voice was shaking. “What happened to her?”

20

If Justin heard what she said, he didn’t acknowledge it. “She was 21

just nineteen when she moved to New York.
Nineteen.
Do you 22

know how young that is?” His head snapped around to Kate. He 23

glared at her, as if expecting an answer.

24

“It’s very young,” Kate faltered.

25

Again, Justin didn’t seem to hear her. “She worked as a waitress.

26

To pay the bills, I mean. Really, she was an actress. That’s why 27

she’d moved to the city. And she was good, too. I’ve talked to the -

28

people who knew her then. She could have been a real success.

29

She could have done anything. You can tell that from looking at 30

her picture. But then he had to ruin everything. He told her he 31

loved her, and she believed him. That was her only mistake. She 32

thought he was telling the truth.”

33

At that instant, she knew. “You’re talking about Carter Mills.”

ort 34

Justin smiled at Kate, the old lopsided grin. “Of course I am, reg 35

Kate,” he said. “I’m talking about my father.”

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My father.

1

The words thundered in her mind. Kate tried to turn away, but 2

she couldn’t stop staring at Justin’s face. Slowly, like some sort of 3

trick drawing, the similarities began to emerge. The strong eye-4

brows, the perfect teeth, the square-cut jaw. She couldn’t believe 5

it.
Wouldn’t
believe it. At the same time, she knew it was true.

6

Justin was Carter Mills’s son.

7

A fire was burning in her brain. Still, she pressed ahead. She 8

needed to know everything. She needed to know the truth.

9

“Your mother,” she said. The words came out in a whisper. “Her 10

name was Maria, wasn’t it? Maria Bernini. The
M
on that red wax 11

seal. The letter stood for her name.”

12

“Very good, Kate. I was sure you’d figure it out.”

13

Fragments of what she’d read at the library flooded back through 14

Kate’s mind. The single mother. The antique gun. The child found 15

bound and gagged.

16

“And you . . . you saw Carter kill her?” Her mouth was so dry 17

she could barely speak.

18

“I don’t
remember,
” Justin said. His voice had taken on a slightly 19

petulant tone. “I was only four years old. You know that. You read 20

about it in the papers. I don’t remember. I only know what they 21

told me.”

22

Kate pressed on. “What?” she said. “What did they tell you?”

23

Justin sighed, an elaborate, manufactured sound, a child putting 24

on a show. “My mother’s friend told me what happened. Her 25

name’s Elizabeth. She took me in after Mama died. But then I got 26

to be too much for her” — here he gave a strange, cold smile —

27

“and she had to give me away. The thing is, it’s not like he exactly 28

killed her. I mean, if he had, I could just have turned him in, right?

29

That would have done the trick. He
should have
killed her himself.

30

That would have been more honest. Instead, he let someone else 31

do it for him. That’s how he operates.”

32

“You mean he hired someone to kill Maria? To kill your mother, 33

I mean.”

34 sh

Justin was starting to pout. “No, Kate. That’s not what I’m say-35 re

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ing.” Again, he sighed. “Okay, I’ll tell you. This is how it hap-2

pened. Mama had to work to support us. She was very proud. My 3

father never knew that she was pregnant. She didn’t want him to 4

know. That’s what Elizabeth said. Anyway, after I was born, Mama 5

worked all the time. She stopped trying for acting jobs. She was go-6

ing to school, to be a nurse. And she was working in the diner.

7

Then, one night, she was coming home late. She’d just picked me 8

up down the street. Someone followed us in. He did things to her, 9

you know?”

10

“Yes,” Kate said, her mind moving sickeningly to Madeleine 11

Waters, on whom similar horrors had been visited.

12

“Then he found this gun that she’d had. It was an old gun, some-13

thing my father had given her years earlier to use for protection.

14

She’d been followed a lot, you know. It was a pretty rough neigh-15

borhood, where we lived. And she was so pretty. Beautiful, really.

16

That night, she must have managed to pull out the gun. She was 17

trying to protect herself. And me.”

18

Justin leaned toward Kate. She could feel his breath, warm and 19

faintly sweet, on her face. “Funny, isn’t it? The gun was supposed to 20

protect her. But instead, she ended up dead.”

21

Kate felt as if she’d stepped inside Justin’s mind. She could see 22

exactly what had happened. In some insane way, it had all started 23

to make sense. “You blamed Carter for her death,” she said. “And 24

that’s why you killed him.”

25

“That’s right,” Justin said, pleased. “That’s exactly why I did it.

26

To make up to her for what happened. If it weren’t for him, she’d 27

still be alive. Remember, Kate? How we talked about that in law 28

school. The problem of causation. Where can you fix legal blame?

29

Well, sometimes the law doesn’t go far enough. So someone else 30

has to step in to make things right. This time, that someone was 31

me. My father gave my mother the gun. It was because of him that 32

she lived in that crappy walk-up. Everything that happened to her 33

was because of him. He was the ‘but for’ cause of my mother’s ort 34

death, isn’t that what we called it in school? If it weren’t for him, reg 35

she’d be alive today. That’s why I had to destroy him.”

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Fleetingly, Kate wondered at Justin’s collapse, how every-1

thing — law and death and family ties — had been woven into 2

one delusion. How Justin’s breakdown was not without its own 3

weird logic.

4

“And Madeleine,” Kate said. “Why did you have to kill her?”

5

“That came later. After I got to Samson & Mills. When I saw 6

her, I knew right away. She looked like my mother, you know. I 7

knew that he’d tried to replace her. I could hardly stand to look at 8

her. But I forced myself. Even asked to work for her, remember?

9

Then it came to me, how she could be part of my plan. How I could 10

kill Madeleine and make it look like he had done it.”

11

“And the . . . the things you did to her? Why? Is it because that’s 12

what they did to your mother?”

13

Justin gave Kate an angry look. “Not exactly,” he said. “I didn’t 14

make Madeleine suffer. I killed her right off. Shot her through the 15

head while she was still unconscious. That’s not how it happened 16

with my mother. She was awake for all of it. She was awake and she 17

felt everything.
Everything.
” A sheen of perspiration covered 18

Justin’s face. Veins bulged out from his neck. Fear bubbled up in-19

side, but Kate forced herself to keep going. At least if she kept 20

Justin talking, he couldn’t do anything else.

21

“The gun,” she said. “It was the same one used to kill your 22

mother. How did you manage to get hold of it?”

23

Justin seemed pleased by the question. He gave a modest shrug, 24

his mouth turned up in a small, tight smile. “It wasn’t really that 25

hard. I did some detective work, made some phone calls. The gun 26

was a valuable one, some sort of family heirloom. After the police 27

were done with it, my granddaddy James made sure he got it back.

28

Disgusting, isn’t it? That’s all he cared about. Getting back his stu-29

pid antique. By this time, though, old James had kicked the 30

bucket. So I called my father, pretended to be a collector. Turns out 31

he’d donated it to some historical museum. A small outfit near 32

Boston. Almost no security at all. During our last year of law 33

school, I made a little field trip. That’s when I got it back.”

34 sh

Justin paused for a moment, reflective. “I was worried about tak-35 re

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ing on Madeleine. Thought I might be going too far. But now I’m 2

glad I did it. The other things, too.”

3

“Other things?” Kate said faintly.

4

“Oh, nothing to speak of. Though I did have a lot of fun.” Justin 5

laughed. “This one thing I did. You’ll get a kick out of this. You 6

know how the firm compensates partners, the lockstep draw? Well, 7

there was this secret move to do away with it, to give bigger shares 8

to the rainmakers. I found this memo in Carter’s computer, ex-9

plaining everything. I forwarded the memo to McCarty. Made it 10

look like Drescher had sent it. Too bad I couldn’t see their reac-11

tions.”

12

The lockstep system.
That, too, was Justin’s doing. He’d gotten 13

access to Carter’s files. Just as he had to her own. And probably 14

Madeleine’s as well. It explained so much. His vast store of knowl-15

edge about Samson & Mills. His knowledge of Madeleine. . . .

16

In the background, Justin gave another laugh. The sound 17

snapped Kate from her thoughts. The fear that had been weirdly 18

dormant now blasted through with new force.
My God!
She had to 19

do something, she had to get away. But what could she do? She 20

tested the bonds around her wrists and feet, but they were wound 21

tight. If she screamed, Justin would be on her instantly. Her only 22

hope was to make contact, to break through his fantasy world.

23

“Justin, you have to stop this. Please. Untie me. Let me go.” As 24

she spoke, Kate realized she was crying, hot tears pouring down her 25

cheeks. The irony crashed in on her. For years now, she’d tried to 26

control her own life. Every decision she’d made, every step she’d 27

taken, had all been with that end in mind. And where had it led?

28

To this moment, where she lay bound and powerless, completely at 29

Justin’s mercy.

30

Justin’s eyes had gone back to the picture. “The moment I saw 31

you, I knew,” he said dreamily. “Do you remember, Kate? In the law 32

school commons? You were having lunch. A tuna sandwich on rye 33

and a Diet Coke. You looked just like her. I came over to your table.

ort 34

You asked me to sit down. After that, I knew we’d be together.”

reg 35

Desperately, Kate searched his face, seeking some spark of re-9858_02_153-356_r6jm.qxd 9/28/00 3:59 PM Page 335

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cognition. “But we were friends, Justin. Just friends. Always good 1

friends. Remember? I was going out with Michael. Michael and I 2

were going to be married.”

3

Justin had gone back to stroking her hair. “I had to put a stop to 4

that,” he said. “I’m sorry you had to suffer. But I had no choice.”

5

Kate felt a prickling beneath her clothes. “But Michael broke up 6

with me,” she said. Her voice was no more than a whisper.