Equivocal Death (55 page)

6

You’re smarter than that. Don’t you see? That’s the fun of it all.

7

You’ve got to go right up to the edge, and then stop. That’s what 8

makes it exciting. I’m not a criminal, Kate, I’m an
artist.
”

9

Justin’s eyes were bright. He was smiling. As if he thought that 10

she’d understand.

11

Suddenly, she had to get away. Her muscles tensed. She poised 12

to spring. Then, just in time, she remembered. The door was 13

chained and locked. She’d never make it out in time. Slowly, she 14

sank back on the mattress. Head down, she took several deep 15

breaths, trying to steady herself. Still the words pounded in her 16

mind.
I killed Carter. I killed Carter.
It couldn’t be true; it couldn’t.

17

“Why are you saying these things?” Kate’s voice was barely a 18

whisper.

19

Justin bit down on his lower lip, the smile giving way to a scowl.

20

“I had to do it. You know that. I had to do it for
her.
I had to do it 21

for
us.
”

22

Kate could feel her body shaking. Again, the impulse to escape, 23

but this time she couldn’t control it. In an instant, she was on her 24

feet, a scream curled at the base of her throat. But before the sound 25

could emerge, Justin tackled her from above. One hand smashed 26

down on her mouth, the other coiled around her waist. She tried 27

to wrench away, to bite Justin’s hand, to kick, but she couldn’t 28

seem to shake him loose. In one powerful movement, he hurled 29

her down on the bed, and threw himself on top of her. With his 30

right hand, he clapped a piece of cloth down on her face, heavy 31

and damp with some awful smell. And then she was feeling light-32

headed. She made one last effort to escape, but her limbs fell back 33

on the bed. The last thing she saw was Justin’s face, bearing down ort 34

from above.

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Almost five, and still Kate hadn’t shown up. Josie fidgeted in her 1

seat. Kate an hour late? No way. Not unless something was wrong.

2

“Jennifer?”

3

Jennifer looked up from her fat paperback.

4

“You think something coulda happened to Kate?”

5

Jennifer looked at her kindly. “No, kiddo. But I’m starting to 6

think she forgot you were coming.”

7

“Kate never forgets things like that.”

8

Putting down her book, Jennifer leaned toward Josie. “Things 9

have been really strange around here lately. I don’t know how 10

much you’ve heard about what’s happened. But there were two 11

people killed here. Kate knew both of them pretty well. She’s had 12

a lot on her mind lately. It’s my fault. I should have reminded her 13

you were coming.”

14

Josie didn’t say anything. She was thinking about the people 15

who were killed. “You know where she went?” she said.

16

“They said they were going to the Harvard Club.”

17

Harvard. That was the fancy place Kate went to school. A 18

school for people who were very smart. The kind of people who got 19

jobs here.

20

“The Harvard Club,” Josie said, testing the words in her mouth.

21

“Where’s that?”

22

“I’m not sure. Somewhere around here, I think.”

23

“Oh.”

24

“Listen, Josie. Why don’t you just go home? I’ll tell Kate you 25

were here.”

26

Josie stared at the carpet, thinking. When she looked up, her 27

mouth was set.

28

“I think I’ll just stay here and wait,” she said.

29

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30

Her eyes fluttered open. Too groggy to turn her head, Kate stared 31

at the printed bedspread. Fuzzy patches of mauve and green swam 32

against a cream-colored background. The room was hot. Music 33

played in the background. Something weird and dissonant and 34 sh

modern. She was conscious of a pounding headache and a punish-35 re

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A M Y G U T M A N

1

ing thirst. Everything was hazy. She needed to find her glasses.

2

Confused, she tried to sit up. But something stopped her from 3

moving. She tried to speak, to cry out, but her mouth seemed to be 4

stuffed with cotton.

5

“How are you feeling, Kate?” Justin’s voice sounded far away.

6

“You know, I didn’t want to tie you up like this, but you didn’t 7

leave me much choice.”

8

Kate tried to remember what had happened. She’d been so glad 9

that Justin had canceled his trip. He’d been in her office, waiting.

10

But at that point something went wrong. She’d tried to escape, 11

that was it, tried to get away from Justin. But no, that couldn’t be 12

right . . .

13

“I’ve been doing some thinking.” Justin was speaking again.

14

Kate felt the mattress dip as he sat down on the bed beside her. She 15

could smell his familiar scent, wool mixed with some woodsy soap.

16

“Maybe I’ve been unfair. I thought that you’d understand. I didn’t 17

think I’d have to explain. But maybe that was asking too much.

18

What do you think, Kate? Have I expected too much of you?”

19

The bedside lamp sent out a pool of light. She must have been 20

asleep for hours. Now Justin was stroking her hair. He gave her an 21

appraising glance. The sort of look a parent might give a disobedi-22

ent but beloved child.

23

“I’d like us to be able to talk,” he said. “But you have to promise 24

to be quiet. There’s no reason to be frightened. You have to let me 25

explain, okay?”

26

Kate nodded, her face hot against the stiff bedspread. Memories 27

had begun to drift back. She was at the Harvard Club. Justin had 28

brought her here. He’d pulled out a gun, forced her to come to this 29

room. She knew she should be afraid, and maybe she was a little, 30

but not nearly as much as she should be. A fog swirled through her 31

mind. Nothing was clear anymore.

32

Justin stood up from the bed. A few feet away, Kate heard him 33

open a closet door. There was a rustling of fabric, as if he were look-ort 34

ing for something. Then he was back beside her. Kate saw that he reg 35

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was holding a knife in one hand. In the other, he still held the gun.

1

Kate watched Justin, mesmerized. The fog seemed to waver, to dis-2

sipate, as a shot of adrenaline raced through her.

3

Justin leaned down from above. “Be still, Kate. I don’t want to 4

hurt you.” The knife’s cold tip edged under the fabric strip wrapped 5

around her mouth. With one quick movement, Justin sliced 6

through the cloth. Then, putting down the knife, he reached into 7

her mouth and removed the soft mass stuffed inside. The gun still 8

pointed at her head.

9

Kate’s body sagged in relief. “Thank you,” she whispered. Her 10

throat was raw. “May I have something to drink?”

11

“Of course.” Justin was sitting in a chair beside the bed. He 12

picked up a glass and tilted it toward her lips. Kate took a long sip, 13

then started to choke. Instead of the water she’d expected, she got 14

what tasted like a mouthful of acid. She clamped her eyes shut, as 15

if willing herself back to sleep. Hot tears sprang up beneath her 16

eyelids.

17

“Darling, what’s wrong?” Justin was touching her face, tracing a 18

tear’s wet trail. “Don’t you like champagne?”

19

Champagne. A dark chasm was opening inside her. She felt her-20

self teetering on the brink. “Could I just have some water, please?”

21

she said. “I’m awfully thirsty right now.”

22

Justin looked at her quizzically. But he got up and walked over to 23

the table. Then he was back at her side, handing her a tumbler of 24

water. He watched as she quickly drained it.

25

“More?”

26

Kate shook her head. “No. I’m fine now.” But of course she 27

wasn’t; she wasn’t fine at all. Now that the fog had burned off her 28

mind, she was conscious of a growing terror.
What was she going to
29

do?
She had to come up with a plan. She had to calm down, to 30

think
.
If she could just keep Justin talking. At least that would buy 31

her some time. Desperately, Kate pored over Justin’s words, search-32

ing for something to take hold of.
I needed to do it for her. I needed
33

to do it for us.

34 sh

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1

Kate took a long, ragged breath. “I know you did it for us,” she 2

began. “But I want to understand more. Can you tell me about 3

what happened?”

4

Right away, Justin’s face relaxed. She could see she was on the 5

right track. “I thought that you knew,” he said. “I was sure that you 6

knew.”

7

Kate shook her head from side to side. “No, really I don’t,” she 8

said. “Please. You’ll have to explain.”

9

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10

“I don’t know where she is. She should have been back by four.”

11

Cathy Valencia bit her lip. She’d been running late all day, had 12

cut short another meeting to rush over here. But there was no 13

point in taking out her frustration on Kate’s secretary, a pretty 14

young woman with spectacular hair.

15

“Well, thanks for your help, Ms. —”

16

“Torricelli. Jennifer Torricelli. Would you like to leave her a 17

note?”

18

Looking down at her watch, Valencia saw it was after five.

19

“Yeah, maybe that’s the best option,” she said. “She’s been pretty 20

hard to catch up with.”

21

Valencia was gazing at a blank sheet of paper, when she sensed 22

someone standing behind her. Turning, she saw a teenaged girl, 23

staring at her intently. The girl’s brown eyes were enormous. She 24

clearly had something to say.

25

“I think we should look for her,” the teenager said. “I’m pretty 26

sure something’s happened.”

27

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28

Justin was singing along with the opera. Something in German, 29

she thought. Then he stopped and met her eyes.

30

“It didn’t have to be like this,” he said.

31

They were sitting up now, Kate on the bed, Justin on a nearby 32

chair. Kate held a glass of champagne. She’d eaten three strawber-33

ries and a water biscuit spread with some kind of cheese. Every-ort 34

thing tasted like chalk.

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with resentment. “I tried to talk to him. But he just wouldn’t lis-1

ten.”

2

Kate nodded gravely, as if she understood.

3

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Justin said. Slack-jawed, he stared at 4

the photograph, the dark-haired woman on the wall. The phrase 5

fugue state
fluttered in Kate’s mind, the relic of a college psych 6

course. Furtively, she checked Justin’s right hand. But his grip on 7

the gun held fast.

8

“You left her picture for me, didn’t you? On my desk. You 9

wanted me to see her.”

10

Still gazing at the picture, Justin nodded. “I didn’t want you to 11

think that I’d forgotten.”

12

“No,” Kate said. “Of course not.” Her eyes shifted to the 13

woman’s picture, then back to Justin again.

14

“It’s a wonderful photograph,” Kate said. “Why don’t you tell me 15

about her?”

16

Justin shrugged. “What do you say about your mother? Where 17

do you want me to start?”

18

“Your mother?” Kate tried to conceal her shock. “But that 19

woman isn’t your mother. I’ve met your mother, remember? At our 20

law school graduation. Her name is Sarah. She’s tall and blond, 21

and she doesn’t look anything like that photograph.”

22

“Sarah isn’t my mother, Kate.” Justin seemed almost amused.

23

“She’s just the woman who adopted me. My real mother died.

24

Sarah was my counselor. In the group home where I lived. Sarah 25

Llewellyn. That was her name when I first met her, before she got 26

married I mean. I used to call her
Screw-ellen.
Then she became 27

Sarah Daniels, old Screw-ellen did. But why am I telling you that?

28

You already know that, Kate.” Justin laughed, an odd gulping 29

sound. “She thought I had
potential.
That’s why she adopted me.

30

And she was right, too. Just not the kind she was talking about.”

31

Kate opened her mouth to protest, then clamped it shut again.