Equivocal Death (52 page)

32

“So what’s up with you?” she said. “You look pretty busy.”

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“Just trying to wind up a few things before Wednesday.”

ort 34

“Wednesday?”

reg 35

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“Laura and I are leaving that night. I want to get out of here 1

early.”

2

“Oh. Right.” In the press of events, Kate had forgotten about 3

Justin’s out-of-town tryst. A dull weight settled in her heart. Justin 4

would go off with Laura. And she’d be alone again.

5

“So where are you going?” Kate said, hoping her feelings didn’t 6

show.

7

If he noticed anything amiss, Justin didn’t let on. “Connecticut.

8

Some bed-and-breakfast. I don’t remember where, exactly. Laura 9

made the reservations.”

10

The weight on Kate’s heart increased. She pictured Justin and 11

Laura conferring, making plans for the trip. Justin had a whole life 12

now, a life she knew nothing about. And this was just the begin-13

ning. Moodily, she gazed at a family photograph on the bookshelf 14

next to her chair. Justin sat on a love seat, with one arm around his 15

sister. Behind them stood their parents. Sarah Daniels’s flaxen hair 16

was piled on top of her head. She wore a lavender silk dress and 17

pearls. Next to her was Justin’s professor father, tall and self-18

possessed.

19

Staring at the picture, Kate felt utterly alone. She thought of 20

the lonely little match girl in Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale.

21

That was how she felt right now. Normal people had families, 22

people who stood by them and loved them no matter what. But she 23

had no one. She could feel the self-pity seeping in. What had life 24

brought but an unending succession of losses? Sometimes it 25

seemed like she was being punished. Of course, she knew this 26

wasn’t true. The bad things that had happened in her life — her 27

parents’ divorce, her mother’s death, Michael’s betrayal — they 28

really weren’t her fault. But maybe she wanted to believe that they 29

were.
To believe that events took place for a reason.

30

“Kate?” Looking up, she met Justin’s eyes.

31

“Sorry. I’m a little distracted.” With one finger, Kate traced the 32

wooden arm of her chair. “Remember in law school when we 33

learned about the rule of reliance? How, even if you don’t have a 34 sh

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contract, you can still force someone to perform? Like if someone 2

mows your lawn by mistake and you know what they’re doing but 3

let them finish. You know that they expect to be paid. You can’t get 4

out of it by saying you didn’t ask them to do the work.”

5

“Yeah, I remember.” She couldn’t be sure Justin was really lis-6

tening. But, warming to the subject, she didn’t much care. “Well, I 7

think that relationships should be like that, too. Like if you tell 8

someone you love them, you shouldn’t be able just to change your 9

mind. Not if there’s detrimental reliance. Not if the other party —

10

the other person, I mean — has already done something not in 11

their best interest because they believed what you said.”

12

Justin laughed. “Gee, Kate. As a legal matter, I don’t quite see 13

how that would work.”

14

“I’m not saying it would
work,
” Kate said, a slight petulance 15

creeping into her voice. “I’m just saying that it’s how things should 16

be. In an ideal world. If life were fair.”

17

“So I guess you’re not a big fan of no-fault divorce?”

18

Kate shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe in the real world it has to 19

be that way. But that doesn’t mean it’s right. People should do 20

what they say they’ll do. They shouldn’t just be able to change 21

their minds. To pretend that the past never happened.”

22

Justin was covertly eyeing the stack of documents on his desk.

23

“I should go,” Kate said. But she really didn’t feel like moving.

24

Instead, she remained in her chair, her eyes fixed on Justin’s face.

25

He looked tired today; he probably hadn’t gotten much sleep. But 26

he was willing to indulge her, to be there if she needed to talk.

27

For a moment, Kate felt like crying. A swell of emotions stirred 28

in her chest: Gratitude, sadness, yearning, and another feeling she 29

couldn’t quite name. It was an old feeling, a sensation almost for-30

gotten. Pleasurable but also frightening. A feeling that seemed 31

equally equipped to save or destroy her. And then, with a start, she 32

knew what it was.

33

Love.

ort 34

Kate looked at Justin, stunned. The familiar curve of his cheek.

reg 35

The faint lines around his eyes. Warmth flooded through her body.

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It was like something was melting or breaking in her chest, some-1

thing she hadn’t even known was there. Kate felt her lips curve 2

into a smile. She almost laughed out loud. Why hadn’t she real-3

ized? Why hadn’t she seen it before? The world seemed to resolve 4

into a single thought, a single realization.
She was in love with
5

Justin.

6

“You know, I should really get back to work. Laura’s going to kill 7

me if I have to stay late on Wednesday.”

8

Like a punctured balloon, Kate felt herself spiraling down back 9

to earth. What had she been thinking? Justin was happy now.

10

Happy with someone else. Looking down at her lap, Kate thought 11

of another fairy tale, the little mermaid who’d loved the prince. In 12

exchange for a human form, she gave up her tongue and the power 13

of speech. She also accepted unending pain: every time she took a 14

step it felt as though knives were piercing her feet. And still she 15

didn’t get the prince. He married another mortal.

16

Abruptly, Kate rose from her chair. “So I should get going,” she 17

said.

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1

Tuesday, January 26

2

3

Detective Cathy Valencia squinted at the fluorescent numbers on 4

the radio alarm clock: 3:12 a.m. She was usually a heavy sleeper, 5

but lately her nights had been fitful. Now she felt wide awake. Slip-6

ping out from under her sleeping husband’s arm, Valencia climbed 7

out of bed.

8

Downstairs, the kitchen was warm and quiet. Valencia put on a 9

kettle of water, then sat down at the dining table. She fished a copy 10

of
Glamour
from under a pile of newspapers and began to flip 11

through its pages. She never thought much about her appearance, 12

as long as she was neat and clean. She’d loved those early days on 13

the force when she hadn’t had to think what to wear. Half asleep, 14

she’d pull on her uniform. In minutes, she’d be on her way. Still, it 15

was strangely soothing to look through fashion magazines. To study 16

the too-thin models, with their vacant eyes. Perhaps she envied ort 17

their apparent ability not to care about anything at all. She had al-reg 18

ways cared too much.

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The kettle had begun to whistle. Valencia turned off the burner.

1

She dumped a packet of fat-free instant cocoa into a mug im-2

printed with the words “Save the Humans.” Then she filled the 3

mug with hot water, stirred, and went back to her chair to sit 4

down. Sipping the hot drink, she felt a heavy softness press against 5

her leg. “Why, hello there, Mr. P.” Valencia reached down and 6

stroked the cat’s silky back before pulling him up to her lap. He was 7

a fine fat tom with an orange-brown coat. His name — short for 8

Mr. Potatohead — came courtesy of her three-year-old niece. For a 9

long moment, the cat’s yellow eyes gazed up at her face. Then he 10

circled once around, plunked down on her thighs, and was in-11

stantly fast asleep. If only she could learn his secret!

12

After another sip of cocoa, Valencia leaned back in the chair 13

and closed her eyes, willing her mind to be silent. But her brain 14

just wouldn’t shut up. Once again, her thoughts moved back to 15

Samson & Mills. For days now, she’d tried to forget. After all, the 16

cases were closed; they’d received exceptional clearance. Still, Va-17

lencia couldn’t get over the feeling that facts had been overlooked.

18

In the clutter of papers before her, Valencia came up with a 19

notepad and pen. She opened the notepad to the first blank page 20

and drew a straight line down the middle. She labeled the two 21

columns “Pro” and “Con.” Then, frowning, she tore out the sheet 22

of paper, balled it up in her hand, and tossed it toward the trash 23

can in the corner. On the next blank sheet of paper, she drew two 24

lines, this time creating three equal columns. The first two she 25

again labeled “Pro” and “Con.” The third she labeled “Inconclu-26

sive.”

27

Still holding the pen, Valencia thought through what she knew 28

about Carter Mills’s death. First, there was the issue of motive. If 29

Mills had, in fact, killed Madeleine Waters, that certainly might 30

explain why he’d killed himself, whether due to remorse or fear of 31

discovery. And if those weren’t sufficient motives, there were the 32

billing improprieties that Drescher had brought to their attention.

33

Valencia briefly noted these facts under “Pro” and then sat back in 34 sh

her chair.

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What else did she know about Mills’s last days? He’d certainly 2

seemed preoccupied. But that could have been a normal reaction 3

to a colleague’s death. Especially when that colleague was a former 4

lover. Under the column labeled “Inconclusive,” Valencia wrote 5

“Demeanor/Mood.” Then there was the typed suicide note, with 6

its vague allusions to failure and despair. The typed note had been 7

a red flag. Was it possible that someone else had typed the note, 8

that the words had been the work of Mills’s killer? She couldn’t dis-9

miss that thought. Still, she didn’t have any proof. Another point 10

under “Inconclusive.”

11

The physical evidence, what there was of it, also provided little 12

guidance. While Mills’s fingerprints were all over the gun, gunshot 13

residue tests on his hands had all come up negative. Still, this was 14

far from uncommon. While the presence of residue would have 15

been proof that Mills fired the gun, its absence didn’t mean that he 16

hadn’t. It simply left open the
possibility
that someone other than 17

Mills had pulled the trigger. The fact that the gun had been found 18

on Mills’s desk was similarly unhelpful. If the gun had been found 19

clutched tightly in Mills’s hand, this “cadaveric spasm” would have 20

proved his wound was self-inflicted. But this was a rare phenome-21

non; some cops even claimed that it didn’t exist. Again, she 22

couldn’t draw any conclusions.

23

Absorbed in the problem before her, Valencia had almost for-24

gotten her cocoa. She raised the mug to her lips, but now it was 25

only lukewarm. Lifting the sleeping Mr. P. from her lap, she stood 26

up and returned him to the chair. The cat raised his head from a 27

haze of sleep and blinked a few times before again curling up in a 28

ball. Valencia stuck her mug in the microwave and punched in two 29

minutes.

30

Waiting for the cocoa to reheat, Valencia had an idea. She 31

walked to the living room and headed for the bookcase under the 32

stairs. Its shelves held a motley assortment of volumes. Paperback 33

bestsellers and criminology texts crammed in with books on cook-ort 34

ing and home improvement. It took a little time to find what she reg 35

was looking for.
Practical Homicide Investigation: Tactics, Procedures,
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and Forensic Techniques.
She pulled down the stout blue book and 1

carried it back to the kitchen.

2

After retrieving her now-hot cocoa, Valencia gave Mr. P a 3

gentle nudge. He opened a languorous eye and then, with a re-4

proachful look, hopped down from the chair and slunk from the 5

room, bound for more peaceful environs. Back in the chair, still 6