Holding On (39 page)

The
first
week
of
my
vacation
was
spent
catching
up
with
all
my friends,
and
by
the
time
Sunday
rolled
about,
I
was
completely exhausted.
Brad
had
not
left
my
side
in
almost
two
days
straight,
and
as much
as
I
loved
spending
time
with
him,
I
just
wanted
a
break.
I
used
to have so much going on with tennis and school that I was never able
to spend so much time with my friends, and I used to think I was
missing out. I knew now that keeping myself busy was the only way that I was able to survive back
then.

With
a
restful
night’s
sleep,
I
woke
up
knowing
exactly
what
I wanted
to
do
that
day.
I
wanted
to
go
to
the
beach
with
my
dad
and my
sister.
Dad
thought
the
idea
was
wonderful
so
he
ran
to
the
store
to get some stuff to pack in the cooler while Amy and I dug out
beach towels
and
the
other
necessities.
I
didn’t
think
to
pack
a
swimsuit
for some
reason,
so
I
dug
out
an
old
one
from
last
summer
and
hoped
it would still fit. My body hadn’t changed much in the last few years,
so thankfully, it still looked good on me. The lavender-purple of the
suit
still went well with my skin tone, even though I had a little bit of a
tan already from the constant sun in
Tucson.

I
got
a
text
from
Ella
as
we
were
setting
up
on
the
beach.
There
was going to be another party to celebrate me returning home tonight.
That would
be
the
third
time
this
week
they
had
celebrated
my
return,
and eventually,
I
knew
the
excitement
would
die
down,
but
it
felt
great
to know that my friends really missed me. I confirmed that I would be in attendance since the party was for me and plopped down on the
sand.

The long week must have really gotten to me. Before I knew it,
my sister
was
nudging
me
awake.
I
rolled
over
onto
my
back
and
put
my sunglasses on. I blindly reach for the sunscreen to apply a little bit
but fell back asleep before I could find
it.

I
could
feel
the
heat
radiating
from
my
skin
as
we
drove
back
to my
dad’s
house. The lack of sunscreen on my chest had left me with
a red glow that would take a few days to turn to golden brown. My
face absorbed
most
of
the
color.
There
would
be
no
way
to
cover
up
my
burn with makeup tonight or even
tomorrow.

When
the
spray
of
the
shower
hit
my
skin,
it
stung
a
bit.
I
turned
the cold
water
on
higher
and
waited
for
the
temperature
to
adjust.
I
only
had about
thirty
minutes
before
I
had
to
be
ready
to
leave.
Brad
was
picking me up, and I still had to call Ethan before I go. I pushed my overheated body
under
the
spray
and
quickly
finished
my
shower.
As
soon
as
I
was out, I headed to my room and dialed Ethan’s
number.

We
talked
about
his
first
visit
for
the
second
time
that
week
and how
excited
he
was
about
possibly
playing
for
that
school.
He
still won’t
give
anything
away
as
to
what
school
it
was.
He
had
another visit
scheduled
in
a
few
days
and
would
be
heading
there
tomorrow afternoon.
He
didn’t
sound
as
excited
to
check
out
this
school,
but
I
was wondering
if
he
was
still
on
a
high
from
the
first
school
he
visited.
If
so, he’d be changing his tune come Thursday when I talk to
him.

As
I
was
changing,
I
could
hear
footsteps
coming
down
the
hall toward my room. I was standing only in my bra and underwear when
I heard someone turn the knob, and before I could yell for them to
stop,
Brad
was
standing
in
the
doorway,
staring
at
me.
His
expression
was full
of
emotion
as
he
took
in
my
almost-naked
body,
and
I
could
feel
his eyes graze up my body and back down
again.

I put my finger over my lips to hush him, grabbed a towel to
cover myself, and quickly said good-bye to Ethan. As soon as I clicked
End on my phone, I turned to him with a “What the hell” look on my
face. He
was
still
staring
and
just
shrugged
his
shoulder
before
coming
in
and closing
the
door
behind
him.
He
knew
that
my
door
had
to
stay
open with him in the room. Did he forget the rules since
yesterday?

“So
can
I
finish
getting
dressed,
please?”
I
asked
with
a
hint
of annoyance in my
voice.

“Don’t
let
me
stop
you,”
Brad
smirked.
He
moved
a
few
steps
away from
the
door
and
sat
on
the
edge
of
my
desk,
but
he
never
took
his
eyes off of me. I knew that I was wearing the equivalent of the bikini I
had on earlier, but it felt different. It felt wrong. I felt
naked.

“Really? Get out of here. I need to finish getting
ready,
and
you’re
early.
Plus,
you
know
that
you
can’t
be
in
here
with
my
door
closed.
Are
you trying to get me grounded for the rest of my
vacation?”

“Actually, your dad and Amy let me in on their way out to
dinner, so there is no one to get you in trouble with.
Would
you feel better if
I opened the
door?”

“No! I would feel better if you would hang out in the living
room while
I
finished
getting
ready.
You
busted
in
here
while
I
was
practically naked and on the phone.
You
didn’t even
knock!”

I
was
getting
angry.
He
knew
that
I
was
with
Ethan,
yet
over
the
last week, he seemed to be ignoring that fact more and more each time
he saw
me.
He
had
not
tried
anything,
aside
from
the
first
night
I
was
home when
I
let
him
hold
me,
but
I
still
felt
like
he
was
headed
down
that
road again.
It
was
more
the
looks
and
smiles.
They
were
too
expressive
of
the emotions that he was supposed to be keeping
hidden.