Holding On (37 page)

“You
won’t be bored while I’m gone.
You
get to go hang out
with your friends and enjoy your last summer of freedom. The last
summer
you can have fun and not have to act like an
adult.”

“Well,
I
have
a
big
decision
to
make,
and
I
have
to
at
least
think
like an adult for a
while.”

“I guess so. Can you at least tell me which three colleges are
after you?” I asked, giving him a pleading look with my
eyes.

“Let’s
talk
about
something
else,”
Ethan
said,
trying
his
best
to divert my attention.  
He’s
really good at changing the subject when
he doesn’t
want
to
give
away
any
information.
“When
do
you
leave
again?”

“You
know
this.
My
flight
is
Tuesday
at
ten
o’clock
in
the
morning.”

“I guess you’ll need my help packing on Monday night then.”
He
pulled
me
to
him
and
secured
his
arms
around
my
waist.
When
he
kisses me
lightly
on
the
nose,
I
know
what’s
coming
next.
“Are
you
sure
I
can’t come with
you?”

“You
know my dad would have a fit.
It’s
only three weeks. If
you can’t
handle
three
weeks
without
me,
then
how
do
you
think
we
are going to be able to make it when you go away to
college?”

This was a topic that we have talked in circles around since
prom.
We
both knew that long distance relationships are hard.
We
both
knew that
temptations
grow
when
the
heart
is
weakened.
We
both
knew
that
at the
end
of
summer,
we
would
probably
part
ways.
We
were
living
in
the here and now and trying not to think about the future. For me, that
was
a little impossible. I was not sure if I could bear to lose him after
losing Brad twice. My heart could only take so
much.

As my plane landed back in Michigan, I had the sudden urge to
call Ethan. He rode with us to the airport that morning, only about
five hours
ago
to
be
exact,
but
the
separation
I
was
feeling
was
overwhelming. My
chest
felt
like
it
was
being
sat
on
by
an
elephant,
and
I
was
dreaming of
his
face.
That
was
until
my
sister
poked
me
in
the
back
to
go.
As
I opened my eyes, I realized that the people in the aisle ahead of me
had moved and it was our turn to get off the plane.
Finally!

I
couldn’t
see
my
dad
as
we
approach
the
baggage
terminal.
The airport
was
crowded,
and
it
felt
like
someone
was
watching
me.
My
sister
darted
from
behind
me
and
started
to
run.
I
followed
behind
her
at a steady pace until I saw where she was headed. I picked up speed
and didn’t
stop
until
I
was
safely
planted
in
his
arms.
My
feet
were
airborne, and he was spinning me in
circles.

Brad
put
me
back
on
the
ground
as
my
dad
reached
over
and
gave
me a big one-armed hug and a kiss on the head. I grabbed a hold of
Brad’s
hand
and
pulled
him
toward
the
carousel
that
should
contain
our
bags.
I was still holding
Brad’s
hand, Dad had one arm over my shoulder,
and Amy was still attached to
Dad’s
other arm as we collected our bags
and headed for the
car.
We
look like one big happy
family.

As
soon
as
I
dropped
my
purse
in
my
room
at
my
dad’s
house,
I
send
my mom and Ethan a quick text, letting them know we arrived
safely and
that
I
will
call
them
both
later
tonight.
Brad
lugged
my
suitcases
up the stairs to my room and plopped them next to the bed.

Looking around, I realized that nothing had changed since the last time
I
was
here.
I
stood
in
the
doorway
taking
in
the
sight
of
my
past when
I
felt
Brad’s
hands
come
around
me
from
behind
and
he
pulled
me back
to
rest
on
his
chest.
I
know
the
compromising
position
we
were
in, but at that moment, I was needing a little
comfort.

Every
picture
frame
on
the
wall
was
just
where
I
left
it.
My
flat
iron was
sitting
on
the
top
of
my
dresser
with
my
tray
of
perfumes
behind
it. There was an empty spot on my desk where my laptop would go, 
and I could see all the cables underneath just waiting to be plugged in.
My
trash can was overflowing with crumpled up papers that I believe
were my English paper from last fall—I would have to check that out
before I empty
it.

Then
there
was
my
bed.
I
could
tell
that
the
sheets
had
been
washed because the bed was made, something I never did because I hated to
do it.
It
looked
plush,
and
the
pillows
looked
perfectly
fluffy.
Just
staring
at it, made me want to jump on it so I
did.

The heat from
Brad’s
body left me feeling chilly as I landed on
my bed,
but
it
didn’t
last
long
as
he
landed
next
to
me,
and
we
curled
up together.
I
glanced
up
to
make
sure
the
door
was
still
open
and
I
see
that it is. My dad had strict rules about open doors with boys in our
rooms, no matter how much he might like that
boy.

It didn’t take long before sleep enveloped me. I faintly
remember Brad kissing my head and saying good-bye, my shoes hitting the
floor as
Brad
took
them
off,
the
rustle
of
sheets
as
he
moved
me
under
the covers, and the click of the door as he left. It felt like I was only
asleep for mere moments, and then my phone
rang.

“Hey,”
I grumbled trying to wake
up.

“Are
you
sleeping?
Didn’t
you
just
get
there
like
a
few
hours
ago?” Natalie practically yelled into the
phone.

“It’s
a three-hour time difference and a very long four-hour
flight, Natalie. I was exhausted and basically passed out.” I sat up and
rubbed my eyes. As I opened them, I realized that it was still daylight, so
I couldn’t have been out for too long. “What’s
up?”

“Nothing much. I just wanted to see if you made it
okay.”