Finding Faith (14 page)

“
I have a tiny problem,” he said
as his lips brushed mine.

“
What?”

I sounded like a different person.
My voice was deeper, like that of an experienced woman. One
kiss—that’s all it took—and I was blooming under his heat like a
ripened flower.

“
I never thought I’d say this, but
I think I might be falling in love with you.”

He opened his eyes and looked deep
into mine as he waited for my reaction. He was drunk. Only a drunk
man could think he was in love with me. Me? The boring pastor’s
daughter who never went anywhere or did anything exciting, but then
again, wasn’t I here alone with him in the middle of nowhere?
Hadn’t I run out on a date without telling anyone?

“
That’s the alcohol talking,” I
stated.

He blinked at me and then shook his
head. “No. That’s my heart talking. I’ve never felt this way about
anyone before. I’m sorry if that freaks you out.”

In that moment, everything changed.
I was his and I didn’t care who said I couldn’t be. I didn’t care
about anything else. I just wanted to be with him and soak up every
moment that was offered to us.

I slid my arms around his neck and
he smiled down at me.

“
I’m not freaked out, but I guess
I have a problem, too,” I said.

He leaned down and pressed his
smiling lips against mine. “And what’s that? Anything I can help
with?”

“
Maybe. It seems my heart wants to
talk, too.”

“
Oh really? And what does your
heart have to say?”

I sat quietly and tilted my head as
if I were listening to something. “I’m falling for you,
too.”

The moment the words left my lips,
his face lit up. The car no longer felt like a dark and scary
place. It was light and peaceful. As if someone had just lifted
tons off of our shoulders.

He leaned in and kissed me again.
This time pushing a little farther and drawing noises from me. My
body rebelled against everything my father had ever taught me, and
I didn’t care. If God didn’t want me to have that moment, then I
wouldn’t have been there. My heart wouldn’t have been so full of
love for Finn.

“
We need to slow down,” he said
against my lips.

“
Why? Did I do something
wrong?”

“
God, no. You’re doing everything
just right.”

I went back in and kissed him
harder. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me, but I couldn’t get
enough of him. I pressed my body against his in ways that didn’t
make any sense to me and silently cursed my restrictive skirt for
not allowing me to move my legs they way they begged to move. I
didn’t understand any of it. I just knew it felt nice and I wanted
to keep doing it. He chuckled against my lips and pulled
away.

“
I don’t want to push you into
anything. When you’re ready, and if you decide you want me that
way, I’ll be here. I’ll wait.” He grinned.

I paused at the look in his eyes.
I’d only known Finn for a few weeks, yet somehow he had wrapped
himself around me so tightly—metaphorically and
literally.

“
You’d wait for me?”

The concept seemed foreign. I was
nothing—a pastel blob on the face of the earth. Meanwhile, he was
bright—a star that illuminated my existence. I was drawn to him and
I didn’t know if I’d ever want to pull myself away.

His thumb caressed my cheek and
lips. He looked down at them as if he wanted to kiss me again and
then licked his.

“
I’d wait forever for
you.”

And just like that, we were
together. I was his and he was mine. I didn’t think twice about
Stephen or my dad, and when Finn asked me to spend the night with
him in his mom’s Jeep, I did just that. I fell asleep in his arms
with the sounds of the waves as our background noise and his
fingers in my hair.

Ten

Finn

When I woke up, my arms were
wrapped around Faith and her face was buried in my chest. I was
blanketed in her warmth and covered in her long, flowing hair. I
ran my hand up her back and a tiny noise sounded from her moist
lips.

I looked down at her flushed cheeks
and smiled. Her mouth was open and she snored softly when she
breathed in. It was best moment of my life. I’d slept better lying
on the bench seat in the back of my mom’s Jeep than I had anywhere
else in my life, and I’d slept in a lot of places.

I watched her sleep until the sun
was fully shining into the windows. The seagulls outside seemed to
get louder the brighter the sun grew. My leg was falling asleep,
but I didn’t move. I didn’t want to wake her. The moment was too
sweet to ruin.

When she finally woke, she leaned
back and looked up at me with a sleepy smile. Her long hair lay
across my arm. The soft scent of roses and fresh powder filled my
senses as I bent my head down and gave her a tiny kiss.

“
Good morning, beautiful,” I said
as I let my thumb explore her creamy cheek.

I couldn’t stop touching her. It
was as if I needed reassurance that she was really there with me.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t used to girls being with me; it was that I
wasn’t used to girls like Faith. She was perfection, far too
perfect for a screw-up like me, and I knew in my heart that I
didn’t deserve her, but I couldn’t help myself.

I couldn’t even think about the
fact that my head was pounding. I had a tiny hangover and I felt a
little embarrassed about my behavior the night before, but screw
it. A drunk man tells no tales, and I’d been up front and honest
with Faith, which was exactly what she deserved. At least I got it
off my chest and at least she didn’t turn me away like she probably
should have.

Her cheeks flushed sweetly. “Good
morning. You’re the first person to ever call me beautiful. It
feels weird when you say it.”

“
Then I guess I’ll say it over and
over again until it’s not weird anymore,” I said as I fingered a
strand of her soft waves. “You’re beautiful, Faith.”

She smiled sweetly and then leaned
up and kissed me. I kissed her back with all that I was and tried
to stay in control of myself. Not only was it morning and my
morning wood hurt like a bitch against my jeans, but she was
pressing against me in ways that she couldn’t know were making me
crazy. I wanted her, more than I’d ever wanted a girl, but I also
wanted to make sure she was ready.

She brought out a side of me that I
hadn’t known existed before. I wasn’t usually a patient man, but
she made me patient. She was slowly transforming me into a better
person, a person worthy of her.

I gasped when I felt cool
fingertips against my stomach. She fingered the creases of my abs
slowly, as if she were memorizing me. Even though it was killing
me, I restrained myself and allowed her the freedom to roam my
body.

“
You’re so hard,” she said as she
pressed her palms to my chest.

I couldn’t help myself. “In more
ways than one.” I grinned down at her.

Before she could figure out what I
was saying, I kissed her again and chuckled against her mouth. Time
slipped away as we made out in the back of my mom’s Jeep like
normal teenagers. The waves crashed against the shore outside and
the birds flew above us in the warming breeze.

I felt something cold against my
chest. I stopped kissing her and leaned back to find her necklace
had escaped her shirt and was lying against me. She’d always worn
the silver cross around her neck as far as I knew, and there had
been many times when I’d see her pull it out of her shirt and hold
it in her palm as if it soothed her.

I picked it up to inspect it.
“Where did you get this?” I asked.

She looked down and pulled the
small cross from my fingers. It disappeared in her tiny fist as she
wrapped her hand around it. “My grandmother gave it to me when I
was little.”

“
Do you ever take it
off?”

“
Never.” She shook her head. “It
saved me when I was little, so I never take it off.”

She looked up at me. Her deep-brown
eyes swirled with some profound emotion I wanted to know more
about.

“
What do you mean it saved you?
Did something happen to you?”

I knew I was pressing her, but I
was worried there was something going on in her life that she
wasn’t telling me about. I wanted to know everything when it came
to Faith.

“
When I was little, my dad used to
tell me that if I was bad, the devil would come and steal my soul.
For years, I worried that my soul was never safe. So whenever I
felt like I’d done something bad, or when bad things would go on
around me, I used to pretend that I could hide my soul inside my
cross and keep it safe. I panic when I even think about taking it
off. It’s engraved in my head that I have to keep my soul
safe.”

When she looked up, a tiny tear
clung to her cheek. I kissed it away before kissing her. When I
pulled back, she smiled down at me.

“
I’d never let anyone take your
soul. It’s too precious… You’re too precious.”

This time, she kissed me and I let
her, but just when my body relaxed into her, she suddenly pulled
away from me, leaving my lips burning and my breath stuck. She
stared up at me in confusion and then as if released from a spell,
she jumped up, her eyes wide with fear and her breathing deep and
fast, as if she were in a panic.

“
Oh my God, my dad’s going to kill
me.” She gripped her cross with one hand and pawed at the door to
open it with the other.

A salty breeze wafted into the car
when she finally pushed it open. I followed behind her and my shoes
sank into the thick sand beneath our feet.

“
Don’t freak out. This is my
fault. I’ll tell him it’s my fault.” I tried to calm
her.

“
No, this is my fault. I knew
better than to leave the movies, but I did it anyway. Please, Finn,
just take me home. I might as well face the firing squad. It might
be a while before we get to see each other again,
though.”

Panic seized me. I hadn’t thought
about the consequences of my actions the night before. I never
really thought about consequences ever, but not thinking was biting
me in the ass. Because I’d practically forced her to the leave the
movies the night before, I’d made it ten times more difficult to be
able to see her. Of course once her dad knew she was with me, he
was going to forbid her to see me again. I had to remember that I
wasn’t dealing with the girls from around my way, whose parents
didn’t give a shit about them.

I wouldn’t let it happen. For the
last few weeks of my life, I’d been able to see Faith, and if it
were up to me, that would continue.

“
Nah. If I want to see you bad
enough, I’ll just come to you. I’m kind of a pro at sneaking in
windows.” I grinned.

She gave me an adorable eye roll
and threw her hands in the air in frustration. “That doesn’t make
me feel better, Finn.”

I couldn’t help myself. I laughed
and pulled her to me. She melted in my arms.

“
Don’t worry about this, okay?
I’ll make it better.”

And I would somehow. No matter what
I had to do, I’d make it better. At least that’s what I thought,
but thirty minutes later, when we pulled on to her street, I knew
things were about to get worse. Two police cruisers were in her
driveway waiting for us. Her hand tightened in mine and I felt the
moisture of her nervous palms. She was afraid and I hated it. I
wanted to take away her fear.

“
Just follow my lead,” I said as I
pulled in behind a cop car and put the Jeep in park.

She nodded her agreement, popped
open the passenger’s side door, and then climbed out. The front
door to her house snapped open loudly, and her mother and father
came barreling out of the house, followed by two police officers.
The screened door was practically ripped from its
hinges.

“
You!” The preacher pointed his
finger at me. “You kidnapped my daughter!”

I stood my ground, but suddenly
Faith was standing between me and her father as he growled at
me.