Finding Faith (10 page)

She looked up from her poster and a
soft-pink blush covered her cheeks when she smiled. It left my
stomach feeling funny. I didn’t like it. Actually, I hated
it.

“
It was fun. We went to a movie,”
she said as she nervously tucked a piece of hair behind her
ear.

She was so cute when she did
that.

“
That’s it?”

“
What do you mean that’s it? What
else were we supposed to do?” she asked, confused.

She really had no idea how the
whole dating thing worked. Of course maybe I was the one that had
it all wrong. Had that been me, we would’ve made out for at least
an hour, followed by some hardcore sex, and then I would’ve taken
her home as late as possible, if I even took her home at
all.

I bet pretty boy took her home
early and I bet he didn’t even try to kiss her.

“
Did he kiss you?”

I wasn’t sure where the question
came from. I wasn’t one to blurt things out, but I’d thought about
it so much since that day in the kitchen when she told me she had a
date and I needed to know.

Her eyes widened with my question
and the blush on her cheeks went from pink to red. Still, she
didn’t answer.

“
Well, did he? I bet he didn’t. He
doesn’t look like that type.”

Her brows pinched a little and I
thought maybe I’d made her angry, but then she spoke.

“
No. He did.”

Just like that my day when from
okay to shitty. I envisioned myself ripping Stephens’s braces from
his teeth and forcing them down his throat. The little rat-nosed
bastard wasn’t good enough to breathe the same air as Faith, much
less put his nasty fucking mouth on her.

“
Oh.” I cleared my
throat.

It was the stupidest thing to say,
but I felt like I was choking and it was the only sound I could get
past the imaginary blockage in my throat. Plus, it was better than
what I’d been thinking. I was pretty sure if Faith knew I wanted to
beat the living shit out of Stephen her opinion of me wouldn’t be
good. Not that her opinion of me was any good to start off
with.

“
I mean, he kind of did,” she said
as she put her head down and continued to work on the
poster.

“
What do you mean kind of? Either
he did or he didn’t.”

I should’ve been happy for her. She
looked happy and I didn’t miss the big smile she had on her face
when she’d told Sister Francis she had another date with him the
following weekend. I spent five minutes after that wishing I hadn’t
heard it.

“
He kissed me on the
cheek.”

I couldn’t help myself. I
laughed. What a punk bitch. I’d kiss my grandma on the cheek—if I
had a grandma—and yet he’d given his
date
a goodnight kiss on the cheek.
There was no doubt about it; he was a puss.

“
What’s so funny?” she asked,
offended.

With laughter still in my voice I
said, “Nothing. I can’t believe he kissed you on the cheek. He’s a
wild one, Faith. You better watch out for that boy.”

This time she laughed. Her laughter
was so nice. She didn’t laugh nearly as much as she
should’ve.

“
It’s not funny. He’s just shy.
Besides, maybe he’ll give me real kiss on our next date.” Her face
dropped when she said those words.

I stopped laughing.

“
What’s wrong?” I
asked.

She stood and looked down at me in
panic.

“
Oh God, Finn. What if he tries to
kiss me?”

Again, my stomach felt weak with
that thought. I didn’t want his lips anywhere near her. I’d thought
once or twice about telling her she was too good for him, but then
she’d smile and sound excited about their date, and I’d swallow
those words. Faith’s smile did things like that to me. I couldn’t
explain it. It didn’t make any sense and I didn’t understand
it.

“
Then kiss him if that’s what you
want.” I swallowed hard.

Tiny hands were choking me. Not
literally, but that’s what it felt like.

“
I’ve never kissed anyone before.”
Her cheeks lit up with embarrassment.

I knew that. It was one of the main
reasons I thought about kissing her so much. The thought of sharing
her first kiss with her made my heart beat funny. I wanted to share
something that special with her. I wanted to brand myself in her
memories that way. I wanted it more than anything I’d ever wanted
before.

“
You’ll be fine. Kissing is
something that comes naturally.”

“
But what if I’m bad at it? Oh my
God, I can’t do this.” She ran her hands through her hair. Her
anxiety showed clearly on her face.

I couldn’t keep my gaze from
falling to her pouty pink lips. She’d be an amazing kisser. The
thought of pressing my lips to her soft, cushiony mouth gave me a
physical reaction. Not the usual physical reaction I had with
girls, but something deep inside—something that bound itself around
my emotions and squeezed.

“
That’s impossible,” I
rasped.

“
It’s completely possible. Amanda
says she’s kissed a lot of guys who were bad kissers.”

I cleared my throat so my voice
wouldn’t squeak with tightness.

“
No. It’s possible… just not for
you.”

“
How do you know?”

No way could I answer that. What
would she think if I told her that her lips were too sweet, her
mouth too luscious? Kissing her could never be described as
bad—never. I could say that in confidence without ever even getting
close to her lips.

“
I just know.”

She wringed her hands and put her
head down. Her breathing changed, and when she looked back up, she
was biting the inside of her mouth nervously.

“
Could you show me?”

Alarms went off in my
head.

“
Show you what?” I
asked.

No way was she asking me what I
thought she was asking me. I didn’t know if I could handle that.
Even a tiny bit of her would push me overboard.

“
Could you show me how to
kiss?”

She couldn’t even look at me
when she asked. Her fingers were turning purple she was squeezing
them so tightly. She was so innocent, so perfect, and yet she was
asking me for something. She needed something from
me
. Even it was
something small, it made me feel important. I hadn’t felt that way
often in my life.

I stood and moved closer to her. My
knees shook slightly, prompting me to lean against the table. I’d
never felt like this before, all anxiety and nerves, but Faith did
this to me every time I was around her, and I wasn’t sure I could
continue being selfless for long.

“
You’re joking, right?”

I secretly hoped she wasn’t joking.
Even if I had to pretend to be doing it for unselfish reasons, if I
ever laid my lips to hers, it would be totally selfish and I was
afraid I’d never let her go.

“
Never mind. I get it. Why would
you want to even pretend to kiss me?” Her cheeks were
blazing.

“
That’s not what I meant. I mean
are you sure? I’d be your first kiss kind of in a way. I know
that’s kind of a big deal to some chicks.”

I needed her to understand what I
was taking away from her—what I was taking away from Stephen if
he’d even thought about. More than anything, I needed her
permission just once more. I didn’t want her to regret me later.
That would kill me.

“
Yes.”

Her voice sounded different. It was
thick with what I could only describe as passion. I didn’t think
she was capable of such an emotion, but when I took a better look
at her, I could see that her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were
lazy and glazed over.

I tucked a stray piece of chocolate
hair behind her ear. Her big brown eyes collided with mine, and for
a brief moment, I felt a hint of panic at her being able to see
right through me. She was staring at my memories and my thought
process, and it scared the shit out of me.

I licked at my lips and her eyes
dipped to my mouth. She was so innocent. Had another girl looked at
my mouth that way, I’d know they wanted me to kiss them. Not with
Faith, though. She did it without realizing her eyes were saying,
“Kiss me, Finn.”

The soft scent of fresh powder and
roses swarmed around me when I moved in closer. I wanted to kiss
her. I deserved just that one innocent moment of showing her how to
kiss—of being her first anything. I’d been a decent human being
since the moment she bumped into my life. I’d earned a tiny
kiss.

I moved in a bit more and her gaze
was broken when her eyes fluttered closed. She lifted her chin and
bit softly at her bottom lip. She was ready for it and she looked
so damn sweet. It was like a kick to the face. I might have
deserved a brief kiss, but she didn’t do anything bad to deserve
me.

I moved back and her eyebrows
pinched in confusion before she opened her eyes and looked back at
me. I took a deep breath and pressed my forehead to hers. She was
all around me, pulling and pushing at every emotion I held deep
within, but I couldn’t do this to her. I couldn’t take away such a
special moment.

“
Your first kiss should be
special. I don’t want to take that away from you.”

Before stepping away completely, I
took the opportunity to feel her skin once more. I used my thumb to
caress her check and it felt as soft as it looked. Being this close
to her was amazing. She was amazing, and some guy was going to be
one lucky son of a bitch when she fell for him. Hopefully it
wouldn’t be that punk Stephen. She deserved a real man.

I closed my eyes and swallowed
hard. Stepping away from her was the smartest and dumbest thing I’d
ever done, but she was worth it.

And then her lips brushed mine and
it was as if fireworks went off in my stomach. I opened my eyes and
was met with her closed lids. Her long dark lashes fluttered and
her eyes opened briefly, searing me deep before she closed them
again and sighed against my mouth.

I lost it. I pulled her closer to
me and wrapped my arm around her waist. Deepening the kiss, I lost
my other hand in her long, wavy hair. I didn’t want to push her so
I kept my lips sealed, but even without all the hot tongue action,
it was probably the best kiss I’d ever had.

I lost track of time. I lost all
rational thought, but I gained so much in that moment. I gained
insight into something that was real. Not just a quickie in some
chick’s bed, no sloppy wet kisses that would lead to more, just a
moment that was genuine. She was branding herself on my memory, and
I knew no matter where the world took me, my first kiss from an
angel would never leave me.

I wasn’t sure who started it.
Probably me since she was innocent, but my tongue met hers and the
taste of her invaded my mouth. She was sweet—so damn sweet. I
pressed against her more and I felt her fingers dig desperately
into my arms. A tiny noise slipped from her mouth and ran down my
spine before dissolving into a hot sensation in my thighs and
pelvis.

Her soft breath bathed my cheek.
She was kissing me just as hard as I was kissing her. Tongue and
teeth collided in something more passionate than I’d ever known.
And then it was over and I was left trying to catch my
breath.

She’d broken the kiss, her warm
breath cooling against my moist lips. I took a deeper breath and
the taste of her rolled over my tongue, making me want more.
Opening my eyes, I found her standing there looking back at me in
expectation. She looked almost unaffected by the kiss, but then I
noticed her dilated pupils and the tiny shiver that quaked through
her. She smiled innocently at me.

“
What do you think?” she
asked.

Her voice sounded forced and
heavy.

I couldn’t tell her what I really
thought—I wouldn’t even if I could. Instead, I took a deep,
refreshing breath, grinned down at her, and stepped
away.

“
I… I think you’ll be
fine.”

Me, on the other hand, I wasn’t too
sure about anymore.

Seven