Finding Faith

Finding Faith

BLOW HOLE BOYS #2

Tabatha Vargo

FINDING FAITH

Copyright © 2013
by Tabatha Vargo

All Rights Reserved. Printed in the
United States of America.

Smashwords
Edition

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No part of this book may be
used or reproduced in any manor whatsoever without written
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This book is a work of
fiction. Any references to historical events or real people are
used fictitiously. Other names, characters, and incidents are
products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual
events or persons, living or dead, is entirely
coincidental.

Finding Faith/Tabatha
Vargo

Editing services provided by Cassie
McCown/Gathering Leaves.

Cover Art by Regina Wamba/Mae I
Design and Photography

ISBN-13:
978-1493576746

ISBN-10: 1493576747

Also by Tabatha Vargo

The Chubby Girl
Chronicles

On the Plus Side

Hot and Heavy-Coming
Soon!

The Blow Hole Boys

Playing Patience (Zeke)

Perfecting Patience 1.5
(Zeke)

Finding Faith (Finn)

Convincing Constance (Tiny)-Coming
Soon!

Having Hope (Chet)-Coming
Soon!

www.tabathavargo.blogspot.com

www.facebook.com/tabathadvargo

www.twitter.com/tabathavargo

For Matthew.

I love you.

Prologue

Faith… sometimes it’s passionate
and fleeting. One minute you’re swimming in it, diving into the
deepest recesses of the one you worship. You bathe in their heat as
their healing presence swarms all around you and builds an almost
unbreakable devotion.

You believe in them, trust and rely
on them blindly, knowing that if you fall, their loyal hands will
catch you. You’re convicted, so strongly dedicated to them that the
rest of your world falls to the background and there is only their
grace.

And the next minute, your reverence
has broken apart, exposing breath and bone. Bringing you down and
leaving you faithless in all things that once held purpose and
hope. Beliefs unbind and all you can do is hold on to the memories
of when you felt savored and whole.

I was once faithless. Believing
only in myself and the things that I could touch with my two hands,
but then love took up residence in my heart and stole my soul.
Something bloomed inside of me that lacked explanation and reason
and I nourished it, believing with that love, all things were
possible. I prospered, held strong with just a promise of desire’s
sweet breaths.

And then I was abandoned and there
was nothing.

Passion and desire desert you and
you find that Faith, however tainted and brief, has changed you,
reshaped your DNA and made you someone you never thought you’d be.
And then you look back at the one that held your devotion for so
long, and you find she’s not rapture in soft pink, but a demon with
creamy skin and endless eyes—endless eyes that I swore would never
capture me again.

Part One:

Young Love

One

Faith

“
I blew him,” Amanda said
loudly.

A girl walking down the hallway
looked over at us like we were disgusting. I waited until she was
out of earshot to respond.

“
What do you mean you ‘blew’ him?
Is that like some sick slang for something sexually disturbing?” I
asked, confused.

Amanda’s laughter got the attention
of everyone around us. The last bell had just rung and the hallways
were packed with girls in uniform hustling to get home. Her face
was red and tears of laughter ran from her eyes.

“
Oh my God, Faith, you crack me
up, girl.” She wiped the smudged eyeliner from underneath her eyes
and took a deep breath.

I had no idea what was so funny,
but at that point, I was too embarrassed to ask. I assumed that
whatever she was talking about was sexual, and knowing her, it was
probably disgusting. I was clueless to stuff like that. Daddy said
when the time was right my husband would show me everything I
needed to know.

My parents always made sure to keep
me in the dark about the opposite sex. I once saw a naked man
briefly while I was flipping through the channels. My mom saw it,
too, and three days later, my dad had the cable turned
off.

Amanda’s laughter stopped and her
face cleared. “Wait, you really don’t know what that means, do
you?”

I didn’t bother answering. Instead,
I put my head down to hide my red cheeks and stuffed my hair behind
my ear. I didn’t think my face could get any hotter—that is until
Amanda took the time to actually explain the ins and outs of oral
sex.

I spent the next twenty minutes
staring at her like she was the most repulsive person alive as she
explained in detail how she’d spent her night with her new
boyfriend Kevin. Almost everything I knew about sex, Amanda taught
me as she told me about her different boyfriends and what they’d
done on their dates.

“
That’s disgusting.” I felt sick
to my stomach just hearing about it.

“
Actually, it’s kind of nice.” She
shrugged. “I’m sorry I laughed at you. Sometimes I forget your
situation.”

She reached in and gave me big hug.
She knew what my life was like. She’d once had to live the same
life before her situation changed.

“
Don’t worry about it. Sometimes I
forget you’re finally free.” I laughed.

“
Free, my ass! Mom’s being a total
bitch about me using her car for anything. Speaking of, Saturday
night movies… yes or no?” Amanda asked as she pulled out her
English book and slammed her locker shut.

She ran her fingers through her
long blond hair and adjusted her hot-pink purse strap on her
shoulder. Her chunky heels clunked against the floor as she waited
for my answer. She could always pull off fun clothes like that.
Honestly, I had no idea why she was still friends with
me.

We’d known each other since we
played with baby dolls and wore lacey socks with our Mary Janes.
Sadly, on occasion I still wore lacey socks. When we were younger,
we were both sheltered and childish, but she grew up and was no
longer under her dad’s strict thumb since her parents had shocked
the church and got a divorce.

Amanda was constantly getting in
trouble at school because she loved nothing more than to break the
dress code by throwing in a pair of skinny jeans with her button-up
top, or better yet, she’d leave too many buttons open, showing
entirely too much skin for Principal Lynn.

I adored her, though. She kept me
feeling alive, even if she didn’t know it.

“
I don’t know. Maybe.” I
shrugged.

“
You never do anything with us,”
she whined.

“
I know, but—”

“
But nothing. Look, I get the
whole strict dad thing. I mean, seriously, look who you’re talking
to here, but you can sneak out. It’s kind of a rite of passage for
girls our age. Come on, Faith, please. You only live once and,
honey, you ain’t living.”