Finding Faith (36 page)

Chet burst into laughter and
Tiny smacked him on the arm. I gave them both my
shut the fuck up
face. I
looked over to Zeke for a little bit of help, but he and Patience
just sat there with their lips glued together to keep from
laughing.

“
Babies come from their mommy’s
belly,” Faith answered calmly.

I reached down and grabbed her
hand. She was always so calm with Jimmy and always had all the
answers. She was the perfect mother and wife. I couldn’t imagine
life without her. Of course, in her profession, she had to be
patient. She was a part-time medical assistant until she was done
with nursing school. Being a nurse was going to be hard work, and
she’d be perfect when it came to dealing with some of the crazy
people.

I was happy when she agreed not to
work during her pregnancy, but I knew she loved it and more than
anything, I wanted her to be happy. The day she walked across the
stage and got her high school diploma, her smile had been nothing
short of luminous. She never gave up on her dream to graduate and
go to college, and I’d never been more proud of her.

She was so strong and independent
and I loved that about her, but I also loved that she knew when to
let me take care of her because I wanted to for the rest of my
life.

I reached down and ran my palm
across her protruding stomach. Our first little girl was on her way
in two months, and I could hardly wait to meet her. The thought of
having a daughter scared the shit out of me. Mostly because I knew
there were men like me all over the world. I prayed every night
that my little girl never ran into any of them. I had no problem
whatsoever choking the life out of anyone who hurt one of my
kids.

Little Jimmy dropped the subject of
babies and we all ate dinner. The table chatter buzzed as we filled
in our families about road life and the different towns we
visited.

After dinner, we spent time with
everyone in the family room before saying our good-byes. I loved
the holidays because it meant spending time with family, but I
hated to see them go. I was amazed at the amount of love that
surrounded me. As a young boy who grew up with no one, I ended up
with some of the best people in my life.

We weren’t the conventional family
by any means. I’d been adopted by my mom and together we adopted
the rest of the band, but we were closer than most families, and
they meant the world to me.

Later that night, after everyone
had gone home and we finally got Jimmy to bed. I snuggled up to my
beautiful wife and held her close to me. I would never get enough
of her—never. She looked even more beautiful pregnant, and I
couldn’t seem to keep my hands off of her.

“
I have something for you,” she
said as she turned in my arms to face me.

Her stomach pressed into mine and I
felt the baby kick against me. My heart warmed and I couldn’t help
but smile.

“
Oh, do you?” I flirted
back.

“
Yep. Do you want it now or do you
want to wait?”

I loved it when she was
playful.

“
I want it now please.”

She rolled me onto my back and
straddled my lap.

“
Are you sure?” she
asked.

I reached up and cupped her full
breasts. Her entire body had filled out, and I loved occupying my
hands with every part of her. She was warm—filled with so much
sweetness, covered with lovely soft skin.

“
Oh yeah, I’m
positive.”

She leaned down and kissed me, and
I lost my hands in her long, soft hair.

“
You can have me on one
condition,” she said with a devious smile.

“
Anything,” I said as I nibbled
her bottom lip.

“
Say something dirty.”

I laughed as she used my own words
against me, but I wasn’t like Faith used to be. I had no problem
whatsoever saying something dirty. So I rolled her onto her back
and kissed her hard, and then I spent the rest of the night showing
my wife exactly how dirty I could be.

Blow Hole Lyrics

Death by Faith

Passionate and fleeting

I live to swim in you

Hold me down, can’t stop the
bleeding

Devotion breaking
through

Worshiping your depths

Your presence lends its
heat

Reminding me what’s left

Of the man you left in
me

Blindly trusting ways

Loyal hands won’t hold you
high

Convicted by your grace

In a world I can’t rely

Chorus:

I wish for you I’d only
bled

You took more than I could
give

My insides so cold and
dead

My wounded eyes no longer
live

I tried to run so far
away

Since my heart’s no longer
safe

I can’t deny you here
today

You murdered me with lack of
faith.

Reverence has broken

Exposing breath and bone

Faithless hearts have now
spoken

Leaving me to breathe
alone

Beliefs unbinding hope

Memories bring sanity

Finding ways to deal and
cope

Searching for what’s left of
me

You taught me how to
trust

Then burned me with the
lesson

Passion masked by lust

Desire was your weapon

Closed eyes no longer
blink

Bliss dies and I’m
unsure

The devil in soft pink

In you I found rapture

Chorus

Acknowledgments

This is my fifth book and this is
still one of the hardest parts for me. If I thanked every single
person who has helped me over the course of writing this book, I
would be writing another book.

First and foremost, I want to thank
my husband Matthew. He has taught me everything I know about love
and romance. He’s my biggest supporter and always has been. Thank
you, baby, from the depths of my soul. I love you.

Melissa Andrea, thank you for
listening to me ramble. You’re crazy and so am I. Together we make
a hell of a woman. You’re amazing and I’m so glad we became such
great friends. I love you, Mel!

To Julia Hendrix, thank you for
everything you’ve done for me over the last year. You’ve been
entirely too good to me. You’ve helped me so much and you’ve kept
Matthew sane, as well. I’m so happy to have such an amazing friend
on my side. Thank you. Love you, girl!

To Kelly Robinson, for just being
awesome and lending me an ear when I need it. You rock and I’m
happy to you call you my friend. I love you, chick!

To Paula Kaesberg, aka the speed
reader, for being the first person to read Finding Faith and for
giving me your honest opinion. Thank you for all of your support
over the last year. I really appreciate it.

Regina Wamba… Seriously, do I need
to say anything else after that name? I love you, chick. You’re
amazing at what you do and I’m so glad to call you my cover
designer as well as my friend.

Cassie McCown, my sweet and
wonderful editor, you’re the most patient person alive. Thank you
for picking through my garbage and finding the gold that lies
beneath. You rock, chick!

To my amazing street team, you guys
are freaking amazing. The support you give me blows my mind and I’m
so thankful for each and every one of you. If I could, I’d give you
all great big squeezing hugs.

To every blogger/page administrator
who has posted or shared anything for me since I’ve started
publishing, thank you. I can’t stress it enough how much you guys
mean to me. You guys supported me from day one and that’s more
valuable to me than gold. I send you all bear hugs and
love.

To all my friends and family who
have been supportive of my writing throughout the years. Thank you.
I love you.

To my daughter, Ashlynn, who’s my
inspiration for everything I do. Mommy loves you to the moon and
back. You’re my life.

And finally to YOU, my wonderful
readers, you guys are beyond amazing and supportive. You send me
the best feedback and help me to hone my craft and make it the best
it can be. Thank you for taking a chance on a new author and
turning me into a USA TODAY BESTSELLER. I love you all more than
you can imagine. Thank you!