Finding Faith (25 page)

“
It sounds perfect,” I said with a
smile. “When can I start?”

I left Mrs. Cooper’s office feeling
better than I had in a very long time. Things were looking up. God
was starting to answer my prayers. With a job like that, I’d get to
spend time with Little Jimmy and possibly go back to
school.

I brought home pizza as a surprise
for Mom and Jimmy. When I walked in the front door, he jumped out
with his dinosaur mask on, and I pretended to be afraid. He giggled
as he hugged my leg.

“
It’s okay, Mommy. It’s me, it’s
me!”

We all sat in the living room, ate
pizza, and watched dinosaur movies. Once Jimmy fell asleep on my
lap, I lifted him and took him to our bed. We shared a room and the
room was big enough for two beds, but all I had was my small
full-sized bed from when I lived at home. At least Dad had let me
take that.

Some nights, I’d relax in bed and
sift through my memories. My bed always reminded of the time when
Finn had spent the night with me. It was a bittersweet memory that
started out making me feel better, but then I’d get angry all over
again and I’d end up in an even worse mood.

The truth was I was lonely. Other
than Mom and Jimmy, I had no friends, and even though there were
some men who flirted with me, I couldn’t bring myself to date. Even
thinking about being sexual with another man made me feel sick to
my stomach. Finn was my only, and as far as I was concerned, I got
the best part of him. Every time I looked at my baby boy, I knew I
could never regret being with Finn, even if he’d broken me beyond
repair.

I started my new maid job three
days later. Mrs. Cooper had informed me that the owners of the
condo I was cleaning were almost never home, which made me even
happier. The last thing I wanted was to clean someone’s toilet as
they watched me.

The condo was massive with
contemporary furniture like you’d see in a dental office and
abstract paintings of different instruments all over. The kitchen
was covered in stainless steel and granite, and the five bathrooms
were all bigger than my entire apartment.

Why someone would need so many
bathrooms and bedrooms was beyond me, but once I started cleaning,
I realized there were quite a few people living there. Each room
was well lived in and dirty as all get out. Actually, considering
how rich the apartment looked, it was pretty filthy—like maybe a
bunch of men lived there.

I didn’t get the entire place
cleaned the first day, so I was extra happy that the owners didn’t
seem to be returning anytime soon. I’d return each day to an empty
condo and continue to clean, making it further and further every
day. After four days, the place was spotless.

By the fifth day, all I had to do
was the laundry that was left over. It was all men’s clothes, but
by then, I’d already figured out that I was cleaning for a
household full of guys. Maybe a sports team or something like that?
There weren’t any personal pictures lying around. Nothing letting
me know what the people looked like or whether or not they had
families. It was kind of spooky, but I didn’t care. As long as the
check came every Friday and I could pay my bills, I was
happy.

I folded all the towels in the
laundry area and began to put them in the linen closets located in
every bathroom. When I made it to the gray-and-black room, which is
what I’d named it, I had an armful of towels and a happy smile
since I knew it was payday and I’d have enough money to stop and
get Jimmy the stuffed dinosaur he’d been wanting.

I could hardly wait to see his face
when I came through that door with that thing. It was expensive,
but my baby deserved it.

The sound of water sounded
somewhere and I stopped. The agency had warned me that the owners
would be returning, but I hadn’t seen anyone yet. I felt relief
knowing that I was almost done and that I wouldn’t be stuck
cleaning while they were there.

I raced across the room and
straight into the bathroom with my arms full of towels. I wanted to
hurry and get out of the condo and on my way home. I expected the
room to be empty since the running water sounded as if it were
coming from the kitchen.

I screamed loudly and dropped all
the laundry when I ran straight into a naked man. My cheeks lit up
with a red rush of fire. The embarrassment made me dizzy, so dizzy
that I was afraid I might faint as my eyes took in his naked chest
and lower half, but it was when my vision clashed with Finn’s
shocked blue eyes and dark features, that I went crashing to the
floor.

Twenty

Finn

I could hardly believe my eyes. For
a brief moment, I wondered to myself if I was still high from the
last shit I’d smoked. I was shocked that I almost didn’t catch her
when she fainted right there on the bathroom floor. My hand kept
her head from smashing into the expensive flooring.

Not that I cared much about what
happened to her. Or did I?

I scooped up her small frame. She
felt smaller than she had four years ago. I tried not to think
about what she felt like in my arms as I crossed my bedroom and
laid her on my massive king-sized bed. Her head was back and her
mouth was gapped open. I appreciated the fact that she still had
her long hair, even though I couldn’t see it since it was piled on
top of her head in a messy bun.

It was only natural for my eyes to
take in her body. They followed her graceful neckline, down past
her chest and flat stomach, and landed on a set of long legs that I
could remember being wrapped so tightly around me. My cock started
to grow hard and I had to step away.

“
Snap the fuck out of it, Finn.
This bitch is the devil. Remember that,” I said to
myself.

I went into my closet and pulled
out a change of clothes and dressed as quickly as I could. In the
bathroom, I turned off the water. By the time I was back in the
bedroom, she was coming around. I sat in the chair beside my bed
and watched as she opened her eyes and blinked rapidly at the
ceiling above us.

The words that I longed to say to
her for the past four years felt sour against my tongue. She’d
burned me so badly—sucked out any bit of good that was in me and
spit it in my face. When she disappeared on me, I went so far into
a depression that my mom feared for my life. I drank until I
couldn’t keep my eyes open and did so much drugs that any bit of
money I made selling anything went straight into my
habit.

I didn’t touch another girl until
after I’d been with Blow Hole for a while. I remembered Jenny
coming over not long after Faith had left. She’d tried so hard to
get me to fuck her, and I ended up passing out on her. My boy Leroy
informed me the next day that he’d found Jenny straddling me while
I was passed out. Being the kickass friend that he was, he pulled
her off of me and kicked her out of my garage.

I couldn’t even remember the first
girl I’d slept with after Faith. I just remember being drunk and
crying the next day. I’d felt as if I’d cheated on her. It took me
a long time to build up so much anger toward Faith that I could be
with another woman, but I always made sure to never get involved
with a woman more than once, and feelings were something I never
planned on having again. It worked and that was all that
mattered.

I could easily say without blinking
that I hated Faith, and I’d spent a good chunk of the four years
contemplating the havoc I’d wreak on her if I ever saw her again.
So while seeing her lying on my bed reminded me of a bad moment in
my life, it also made me happy that I’d finally be able to get
revenge for the heartbreak she’d delivered without a care for
me.

When she finally realized what had
happened, she sat up quickly and grabbed the back of her head like
it hurt. Her eyes scanned my room until they landed on me. They
widened as took me in.

“
Finn?”

“
Faith?” I responded.

“
What are you doing here?” she
asked.

“
I live here. I’m assuming you’re
the new maid the temp agency sent over?”

She shook her head yes slowly, her
eyes still relaying her shock.

“
I didn’t… I didn’t know you lived
here,” she stuttered.

“
And here I was thinking you’d
come for a second dose,” I said sarcastically.

I praised myself when she
frowned.

“
I assure you
that is
not
the
case,” she said as she swatted at a piece of hair in her
face.

She quickly slid from my bed and
went into the bathroom to gather the towels she’d dropped. She
folded them and placed them into the linen cabinet without saying
another word. I didn’t take my eyes off of her as she worked. I
enjoyed the fact that I made her so nervous. The bitch deserved
it.

When she came out of the bathroom,
she started across the room as if she were going to leave.
Something told me she wouldn’t be returning to the condo to clean,
and I had to take my chance to get my digs in before she
left.

“
My, my, how the mighty have
fallen.” I shook my head. She stopped with her back to me, and I
continued. “When exactly did you start cleaning toilets for a
living?”

She swung around like she was going
to say something rude. Her eyes blazed and her cheeks turned fire
red. I longed for her to say something fucked up so I could fire
back and burn her, but instead, she closed her eyes, took a deep
breath, and walked away.

I couldn’t help myself. I followed
behind her. Thankfully, no one was in living room or kitchen when
we got in there. She went to the kitchen counter and grabbed her
purse. She turned toward the door and I decided to give one more
slap in the face before she left.

“
Bye, Faith. Beware of Daddy’s
belt when you get home.” I chuckled to myself.

It was fucked up, but so was her
walking out on me like I was nothing. If she could treat me that
way, then I could treat her the same way.

Again, she paused with her back to
me. I waited anxiously for her to turn on me and give me a reason
to verbally cut her, but again, she walked away. The front door
shut quietly behind her. She didn’t even have the backbone to slam
the fucking door in anger. What I’d ever seen in such a weak woman
I didn’t know.

That weekend we threw a big-ass
party and instead of getting pissed at the fuckers who trashed our
place, I smiled to myself, knowing that if Faith had enough balls
to come back to clean, she’d have her hands full.

I drank so much that Tiny had to
help me to my room. I knew in the back of my mind that I was trying
to drown the old hurtful memories that kept popping up. I’d never
admit that to anyone else, but the only thing that seemed to make
those thoughts and feelings that I loathed so much go away was
liquor and drugs.

“
Leave it. Let the maid get it,” I
said to Zeke’s girlfriend, Patience, the following Monday when I
walked into the kitchen.

She was stacking the dishwasher and
collecting the trash. I didn’t mind her being at our place. I
actually enjoyed her company. It was nice having a girl around that
I could be friends with.

“
It’s not a problem.” She smiled
over at me. “There’s some Tylenol in the cabinet there for that
hangover I’m sure you have.”

I reached out and stopped her from
cleaning. “Patience, get your cute little butt back in that bedroom
with Zeke and spend some time with him. I got this.”

After I’d gotten rid of Patience, I
downed another beer to bite the dog and swallowed enough Tylenol to
knock out my headache.

I stood in the shower for an extra
long time, letting the hot water clear my brain. Once I got out and
got dressed, everyone was ready to head out and do some fun stuff
for the day. Zeke and Patience were obviously going to do their own
thing, so Tiny and Chet tried to talk me into getting into some
trouble with them.

“
Nah, I think I’m going to hang
out around here today. I feel like shit.”

It was a lie. Really, I wanted to
stay just in case Faith came back. I didn’t want to miss the chance
to talk shit while she cleaned up after me and my boys.