Equivocal Death (38 page)

out that Drescher was on the sauce again. Madeleine told him that 4

she’d had it, that she didn’t want anything more to do with him.”

5

So, Kate thought, she wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.

6

Drescher’s drinking must be common knowledge by now. “And 7

how did Drescher react?” Kate asked.

8

Jennifer shrugged. “There wasn’t really anything he could do,”

9

she said. “Madeleine wouldn’t back down.”

10

Madeleine Waters and Martin Drescher. Kate could hardly be-11

lieve it. What had Madeleine been thinking? Drescher must have 12

been beside himself, stunned by his strange good fortune.

13

“Where did you hear this?” Kate asked, trying to keep her tone 14

light. For Jennifer, this was all still a game, like something in a 15

dime-store novel.

16

Jennifer smiled coyly. “I just asked around,” she said. “People 17

overhear things.”

18

“You’re some investigator.” Kate said, standing up to get her 19

cape. “Listen, I’ve got to run to the doctor’s. If anyone calls, tell 20

them I’ll be back around three.”

21

22

23

After leaving the office, Kate took a taxi home. She spent an hour 24

or so dawdling over a peanut butter sandwich, flipping through a 25

newspaper as she ate. She ignored the news, focusing instead on 26

the ads. Tiffany’s. Bergdorf-Goodman. Bendel’s.

27

When she got back to the office, a little after three, Kate went 28

straight to the phone to check her messages. She stared at the dark 29

message light. Nothing. Not a single call. She couldn’t remember 30

the last time this had occurred. It gave her an uneasy feeling, as if 31

she’d slipped into some sort of netherworld, a no-man’s-land of re-32

duced expectations. She’d seen it happen before, to associates who 33

weren’t making the grade. First, they stopped getting assignments.

34 sh

At the start, this came as a welcome respite, a rare chance to leave 35 re

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work before dark. But after a few days, a few key meetings to which 2

they weren’t invited, the truth started seeping in. Most associates 3

took the hint and began the search for new positions. Those who 4

clung to their jobs, or stayed willfully obtuse, were eventually ap-5

proached more directly.

6

Could that be happening to her?

7

The only thing on her calendar today was her four o’clock meet-8

ing with Josie. Eyeing the phone, Kate considered canceling, 9

pleading a work-related crisis. But, really, what would that solve?

10

Besides, she needed to set an example. As Josie’s mentor, she’d 11

tried to teach her the importance of keeping commitments. And 12

the appointment would at least keep her occupied, keep her mind 13

off what was going on.

14

By five, Kate’s mood had only darkened. Still no word from 15

Mills. And still no sign of Josie. Kate could feel the tension build-16

ing inside her. She chewed at a fingernail. Maybe she should have 17

gone to the meeting, if only to defend herself. And where in the 18

hell was Josie?
Irresponsible. Immature. Selfish.
Here she was, re-19

arranging her schedule for a girl who couldn’t even show up. Now 20

here was one place she
could
take some action. Turning to her 21

Rolodex, Kate flipped through the cards until she reached Josie’s 22

number.

23

w

24

Josie slapped the child — hard — across the face. For an instant, 25

there was silence. The little girl’s eyes got bigger. Then, she let 26

out a howl. Josie reached out and grabbed her sister. Hugging her 27

tight, she rocked the tiny figure back and forth. “I’m sorry, baby.

28

I’m sorry.”

29

As she rubbed four-year-old Shari’s back, Josie stared at the 30

chipped kitchen cabinets, now smeared with half a dozen raw eggs.

31

She’d left Shari alone just five minutes —
five minutes! —
telling 32

her to stay put at the kitchen table while she got the laundry out of 33

the dryer. But by the time she’d gotten back upstairs, Shari had ort 34

smashed every egg in the house. Yellow yoke slithered down the reg 35

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painted wood, mixed with the snotlike white. Josie wanted to burst 1

into tears. Those eggs were supposed to be their dinner.

2

Shari’s cries had grown softer, and Josie plunked her down on a 3

kitchen chair. She’d promised herself that she’d never hit either of 4

the kids. They took enough abuse from their mother without a big 5

sister joining in. What was wrong with her today?

6

Closing her eyes, Josie leaned her arms against the kitchen 7

counter. She wished she were a million miles away. She wished 8

she’d been born into a totally different family. And most of all, she 9

wished that Mama would come home like she’d promised. Or at 10

least before the kids went to bed. But, she thought bitterly, what 11

were the chances of that?

12

Josie flung open the refrigerator door. The bulb had burned out 13

a long time ago, and she had to squint to see what was there. Noth-14

ing that would do for dinner. They did have some milk, though.

15

And a box of cereal. Well, that’s what they’d have to eat. And if 16

Shari and Freddy didn’t like it, that was just too bad.

17

Josie heard the front door open and close. Then Freddy was in 18

the kitchen, an eight-year-old bundle of denim and attitude.

19

“Freddy!” Shari’s small face grew bright. She was wild about her 20

older brother, though the feeling wasn’t mutual these days. Freddy 21

grunted and slumped down in a chair.

22

“What’d you do at school today?” Josie said, pulling three bowls 23

off a shelf.

24

“Nuthin’.”

25

“What d’you mean nothing?” Josie turned to face Freddy, who 26

was staring morosely at the egg-covered kitchen cabinets. He 27

didn’t bother to ask what had happened. “You’re in school eight 28

hours a day, you gotta do
something.
”

29

“Not really. Hey. What we havin’ for supper?”

30

Josie dumped cereal into the three bowls. “Cap’n Crunch.”

31

“For
supper?
” He gave her a disbelieving look.

32

“Yup.” Josie didn’t feel like explaining. She put bowls down in 33

front of the kids, then went back for her own. She poured milk on 34 sh

35 re

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Shari’s cereal, then pushed the carton over to Freddy, who looked 2

at it in disgust. Wasn’t he going to eat? She was too tired to care.

3

She picked up the milk and poured it over her own cereal. Every-4

thing was quiet. Which was fine with her.

5

But as she chewed, Josie found herself getting more upset. It was 6

so unfair! Everything was so good until this fall. Mama had gotten 7

so much better. She was even talking about looking for work or go-8

ing to school. And then, after Grandma died, everything had 9

fallen apart. That was when Josie had found the drug stuff, 10

wrapped in a towel in the closet. Crack vials, a pipe, needles. She’d 11

thrown the whole mess out, and Mama had never said a thing. But 12

both of them knew the score.

13

The phone rang.

14

“I’ll get it.” Freddy was already out of his chair, bounding to the 15

living room. Then, he was back, sullen and remote again. “ ’S for 16

you,” he mumbled and thrust the receiver at Josie.

17

Josie stared at the phone, her heart dropping in her chest. She 18

didn’t have to ask who it was. She could see Kate there in her of-19

fice, perfect as a movie star. Compared to Kate, she felt so low. If 20

only she could explain! But she just couldn’t take that risk. Once 21

she told someone what was going on, the BCW people would get 22

involved. They’d take the kids away, split up the family. She knew 23

all about it from her friend Tamika. Once you were in the System, 24

you never knew what would happen. Tamika’s little sister had been 25

put in a foster family who later adopted her. They changed her 26

name to theirs. Tamika couldn’t even see her anymore. It was ter-27

rible, but that’s how things were. And she wasn’t going to let that 28

happen with Shari and Freddy. No matter what.

29

“Josie, this is Kate Paine. At Samson & Mills.”

30

“I was gonna call you, but . . .” Josie didn’t finish the sentence.

31

At the sound of Josie’s voice, Kate felt her anger collapse, and she 32

just felt utterly sad. At the same time, she knew that she’d come to 33

the right decision. She just didn’t have the energy that Josie re-ort 34

quired. Not with everything else going on. Better for both of them reg 35

to move on. When she spoke, she made an effort to be kind.

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“Josie, this is the third session you’ve missed without calling. It 1

doesn’t make sense to go on this way.”

2

“You mean . . . I can’t come anymore?” Josie’s voice was low, as 3

if she was about to cry.

4

“You’re not coming anyway, so I don’t see what difference it will 5

make.” The words came out more sharply than Kate intended. Fur-6

ther proof of how on edge she was.

7

“But I . . . I . . .” Josie sounded dazed, and then the words poured 8

out in a rush. “You gotta let me come back, Kate.
Please.
I’ll do bet-9

ter. I won’t skip anymore. Really. I promise.”

10

Please.
Kate paused, startled by the urgency in Josie’s voice. Al-11

most against her will, she felt a twinge of sympathy. Still raw from 12

the morning’s encounter with Peyton, she knew what it was like to 13

be dismissed.

14

Kate sighed. “Okay. But this is it. One more no-show and we’re 15

through. Understood?”

16

“Yeah, yeah.” Josie was fairly bubbling. “I’ll be there next week.

17

You’ll see.”

18

When Kate hung up the phone, she sat a few moments with her 19

chin pressed in her hand. Her sense of isolation was so strong that 20

it threatened to immobilize her. She checked her e-mail again.

21

Nothing. She’d decided to wait another ten minutes, then give 22

Peyton a call. In the meantime, she’d try to catch Andrea, who 23

should have finished up by now.

24

She punched in Andrea’s number. Suzanne picked up.

25

“Andrea’s gone for the day.”

26

The words almost didn’t register. “But she . . . she said she had 27

to get some documents out by five.”

28

“Yeah, well, she finished up early. Want me to leave her a mes-29

sage that you called?”

30

“No, that’s okay. I’ll get her at home tonight.”

31

Kate put down the receiver.
What was going on?
For more than a 32

year, Samson & Mills had been a second home. More than a home, 33

really. The one place where she’d felt secure. And now, within 34 sh

days, everything had changed. A partner was dead. She’d been at-35 re

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tacked by a client. A close friend had cut her off.
You know what,
2

she said to the room at large.
I’m going home for the day. You want to
3

reach me, you can get me there.

4

w

5

The suspense was almost unbearable. He picked up the gun, as if to 6

reassure himself. It was comforting to hold the revolver, to run his 7

fingers along its ivory grip, to feel its cold weight in his hands. It 8

was a promise of sorts. An intimation. Proof that the day he’d 9

dreamed of would actually come to pass.

10

He thought back to when he was thirteen, when the plan had 11

first come to mind. Just a bare outline of what was to come, only 12

the very beginning. But he’d known he was onto something big.

13

He could still feel the excitement.

14

A desperately hot summer day. He’d been grounded yet again, 15

forbidden to leave the group home. He couldn’t remember what 16

he’d done. Stealing, perhaps. Or smoking pot. He’d been punished 17

so many times. He was in Ms. Llewellyn’s office.
Screw-ellen,
he 18

called her in his mind. She was talking to him, all watchful and 19

concerned. Screw-ellen wanted him to think about the future. He 20

was intelligent, she told him. The tests that he’d taken proved it.

21

He could do anything he set his mind to, if he’d only decide to try.

22

She said that she wanted to help, that she wanted to make a dif-23