Equivocal Death (42 page)

the upcoming cocktail party. But she couldn’t seem to shake How-8

ell’s voice.

9

Didn’t you ever notice how much you look like her?

10

Head still turned toward one side, Kate reached into her back-11

pack and pulled out a plastic compact. She held the round con-12

tainer in her hands a moment. Then she snapped it open and 13

looked. First with glasses. Then without. Blue eyes stared back 14

from the mirror. Madeleine’s eyes were green.

15

And then, suddenly, she saw it.

16

Me but not me . . .

17

She stared at the image, as if hypnotized, wondering how she 18

could have missed it. But then, she sometimes didn’t recognize her 19

own reflection. No surprise she hadn’t picked this out. Besides, the 20

resemblance wasn’t so much to the Madeleine she’d known, but to 21

the woman on the TV news. A Madeleine whose sleek dark bob 22

had grazed her cheek. Just as her own hair did now.

23

For several minutes, Kate studied the image, in horrified fasci-24

nation. Now that she’d seen this, what did she do? And what could 25

it possibly mean?

26

27

28

Strains of a string quartet greeted Kate as she arrived at the cocktail 29

party. The cafeteria had been transformed. The lights were low.

30

Candles flickered. Tables were piled high with food. The men 31

looked much as they did during the week; the women wore simple 32

black dresses. Kate tossed off greetings as she edged through the 33

crowd, scanning the room for Carter Mills.

34 sh

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A M Y G U T M A N

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She’d just picked up a white wine spritzer when she heard some-2

one call her name.

3

“Kate. Over here.” It was Justin. He was standing with two col-4

leagues. One was Victor Lawson. She didn’t know the other guy.

5

“Come rescue me!” Justin called. “I’m trapped in the conversation 6

from hell. We’re deep in discussion of the subway system.”

7

“Litigators,” Kate said, approaching the group. “Is there any-8

thing they can’t debate?” Returning Justin’s smile, she felt a pang 9

of sadness, sudden as it was unexpected.
Laura Lacy.
Of course, 10

Justin had gone out on dates before, but there’d never been anyone 11

serious. Somehow, she knew this was different.

12

“You know Victor Lawson,” Justin said. Kate nodded. “And this 13

is Mark Postino.”

14

“Hi, Mark.”

15

“Hi. Nice to meet you.” With his strong Bronx accent and mus-16

cled build, Postino looked more like a wrestler than a white-shoe 17

lawyer.

18

“What year are you?” she asked.

19

“Third. But I just started here last month. I used to be at Cra-20

vath.”

21

“If you don’t mind,” Victor Lawson said, raising an eyebrow. “I 22

was just making a
very important
transportation point.”

23

The mock argument resumed. Kate took a seat on a window 24

ledge. Outside it had started to snow. Wet flakes hurtled through 25

the building’s light before vanishing below. Turning back to the 26

room, Kate again scanned the crowd. The partnership was out in 27

full force. Bruce Stroesser huddled with Martin Drescher. Bill Mc-28

Carty and Karen Henderson talked nearby. One by one, Kate 29

picked out another half dozen familiar faces. Colin Barfield. Dave 30

Bosch. Warren Leverett. But still no sign of Carter Mills. Could she 31

somehow have missed his arrival? She decided to check around.

32

“I’m going to get some food,” Kate said, hopping down from her 33

perch.

ort 34

Justin put down his drink. “I’ll go with you. I could use some-reg 35

thing to eat.”

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Together they approached the buffet table. It was an impressive 1

sight, filled with an array of complex hors d’oeuvres. Tuna sashimi 2

on tiny potato crisps. Endive leaves filled with chevre and caviar.

3

Mushroom caps stuffed with green-flecked puree. “
Big food,
” An-4

drea called these ornate creations. It occurred to Kate that Andrea 5

was someone else she hadn’t seen yet tonight.

6

“Quite a spread, huh?” Justin was methodically filling a plate.

7

“Definitely beats the Harvard Club. Although, come to think of it, 8

these broiled oysters would taste great with a big glob of Cheez 9

Whiz.”

10

“Maybe you should suggest it,” Kate said, still looking over the 11

room. The conversational buzz was growing louder, all but drown-12

ing out the string quartet. “Justin, have you seen Carter tonight?”

13

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. But I haven’t been looking for 14

him. Hey, want to go back to Lawson and Postino?”

15

Kate managed a smile. “No thanks. I think I’m going to do a lit-16

tle mingling.”

17

w

18

The ticking of the grandfather clock seemed louder than usual 19

tonight. Mills saw it was almost eight. He was long overdue up-20

stairs. But picturing the strained festivities — the pathetically 21

elaborate hors d’oeuvres, the anxious young lawyers, desperate to 22

make an impression — he just couldn’t face it yet. Besides, he had 23

other things on his mind, issues far more pressing than a cocktail 24

party.

25

Mills sank back into his chair and folded his hands. Gazing out 26

the window at the city’s anonymous depths, he found himself wish-27

ing he could disappear. He was tired, terribly tired. What he really 28

yearned for was sleep. A deep, dreamless slumber that would ban-29

ish all thought. But sleep really wasn’t an option. It was laughable, 30

almost, how his luck had turned. Luck had been with him for so 31

many years, he’d almost forgotten its presence. But now he sensed 32

cracks in his life’s foundation. So far, the movement was insub-33

stantial. Nothing that couldn’t be dealt with. But he was too much 34 sh

of a realist to think that it would end here.

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Behind him, a gold hinged frame held studio portraits of two 2

boys. Turning away from the window, Mills briefly studied the 3

pictures. A pair of blond children with indiscriminate smiles.

4

Looking at them, he felt nothing. Except perhaps irritation. After 5

all, what did his sons — young men now — know of the pressures 6

he faced? The boys had always reminded him of their mother, a re-7

semblance that had grown more striking with the passing years.

8

Diane accused him of being heartless, of caring no more for his 9

sons than for her. He never responded to these accusations. For 10

what was there to say? He looked at the boys and saw nothing of 11

himself. Nothing to take hold of, to mold, to shape. Quite simply, 12

he’d lost interest.

13

Then he was thinking of another picture. The one he’d de-14

stroyed last week. He could still see her face in his mind’s eye. The 15

sweep of dark hair, the broad forehead, the brilliant, wide-set eyes.

16

If only he could have destroyed his memories along with her pho-17

tograph. Instead, they were growing stronger. Ever since he’d cut 18

up the picture, he’d been obsessed by the past. As if by reliving 19

events in his mind, he could somehow alter their course.

20

If only they’d never met.

21

It was this thought that haunted him most. After all, what were 22

the odds? They were different people from different worlds. Their 23

paths need never have crossed. So many chances for avoidance! If 24

only he’d picked a different movie. If only he’d gone to a later 25

show. If only she hadn’t worked that night. His mind had run on 26

like this for days. He couldn’t work, couldn’t sleep. The mental 27

discipline that was his stock-in-trade seemed to have deserted him 28

entirely. He could almost imagine she was watching him. Staring 29

through a keyhole, gloating.

30

Then, without warning, he heard a voice.
Each day is a new be-31

ginning. You must never rest on your laurels.
His father’s words rever-32

berated in Carter’s mind, filling him with a trembling rage. Give up 33

now? And prove his father right?
Never.
Not while he still had a ort 34

choice. He was a litigator, one of the best. He’d built a career on reg 35

beating the odds. He could certainly do it again.

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The burst of anger seemed to have energized him. He could feel 1

his self-confidence returning. The situation that had seemed so 2

bleak now seemed entirely manageable. Why already he’d taken 3

steps. Removed Kate Paine from the Thorpe case, started to re-4

sume control. Thorpe was a problem, of course. Mills thought of 5

the horrendous cassette. Madeleine’s secret weapon. That must 6

have been how she’d seen it. Briefly, he wondered where it had 7

come from — from Friedman’s lawyer? from one of her friends? —

8

but none of that mattered now. The only thing that mattered was 9

the future. He’d raised the issue of the tape with Thorpe, hoping 10

for some explanation. But all he’d gotten was blanket denials and 11

improbable speculations. Thorpe knew that Jed Holden would 12

back him. And, unfortunately, Thorpe was right. Jed Holden saw 13

Thorpe as a surrogate son. It was Samson’s job to protect him.

14

And, most especially, it was Carter Mills’s job, thanks to their pri-15

vate “arrangement.”

16

Mills put his head in his hands.
How had he ended up here?
He’d 17

never seen himself as a man who took risks. But lately, he’d begun 18

to wonder. Why had he selected Kate Paine to go through Mad-19

eleine’s office? If he’d thought about it even an instant, he’d have 20

seen he was tempting fate. And then further back, when he’d 21

started those side deals with Holden. It wasn’t that he’d needed the 22

money. Even before his father died, he’d had more than enough to 23

pay the bills. And further back still, Maria.

24

Why hadn’t he noticed it before, this pattern of seeking out 25

danger? Perhaps because the events were so widely spaced in time.

26

It wasn’t a daily occurrence. Or even a yearly one. Still, these were 27

not the actions of a rational man, of the man that he’d thought he 28

was. His actions seemed to reflect a sort of death wish. A strange 29

urge to self-destruct.

30

Once again, he thought of the photograph. Left as a calling 31

card. He was not a superstitious man. Still, he had a growing con-32

viction that his troubles all stemmed from her. And what of that 33

strange resemblance to Kate Paine. No,
not
Kate Paine, Madeleine.

34 sh

Not
Kate Paine . . .

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That associate, Kate Paine. You hired her, didn’t you? Just look at
2

her . . .

3

For a moment, they swam through his mind, these three 4

women: Kate, Madeleine, and Maria. Their faces mingled and 5

merged, a sea of lustrous hair and bright eyes. A thought was trying 6

to break through, but he couldn’t quite seem to grasp it.

7

And then there was a knock on the door.

8

w

9

Kate was heading to the bar for another spritzer when she felt a tap 10

on her shoulder. Dave Bosch, the young partner who’d chaperoned 11

her talk with Cathy Valencia. He looked crisp and well polished in 12

his good dark suit; genetically designed to inspire trust in clients 13

and fear in opposing counsel.

14

“Nice to see you, Kate. How’ve you been?”

15

“Just fine, thanks.”
Yeah, right.
“And you?”

16

“Terrific.” Bosch’s voice was as starched as his shirt. “Listen, I’m 17

really looking forward to having you on the team. We’ll set up a 18

meeting next week to get you up to speed on the Danbury case.”

19

Kate gave him a baffled look. “What do you mean?”

20

Bosch seemed taken aback. “I . . . Carter must have spoken to 21

you about this by now.”

22

Kate continued to stare. Bosch pushed ahead. “I’m sorry. I 23

thought you knew. You’re being transferred to my team.”

24

“Why?” The question was out before she could stop herself.

25

Ours is not to reason why. . . .

26

“It’s simply a staffing decision,” Bosch said. “Nothing to do with 27

your work. We decided the Thorpe case was overstaffed. That’s 28