Equivocal Death (17 page)

the sort of thing that happens to a lawyer at Samson & Mills. I 31

mean, I guess that sounds stupid. It’s not like we have immunity or 32

something. But, somehow, the randomness . . . I feel like I’ve been 33

living in a dream world.”

ort 34

“How’s that?”

reg 35

“Well . . . ,” Andrea seemed to be searching for words. “It’s like 9858_01_003-152_r5hb.qxd 9/28/00 3:57 PM Page 93

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any time disaster strikes a little too close for comfort — the World 1

Trade Center bombing, someone shot on a subway line that I take 2

all the time — I’ve always found some way to convince myself that 3

it could never happen to me. I do it almost without thinking. I say 4

to myself, ‘Okay, so I take the R train, but I never take it
at that time
5

of day.
’ Or, ‘So I interviewed with a law firm that has offices in the 6

World Trade Center, but
I never really considered going there.
’ See 7

what I mean?”

8

Kate shrugged uneasily.
I’ll just take more taxis. It could never hap-9

pen to me.
“I think we all do that,” she said. “It’s sort of a survival 10

mechanism. Who could function if they constantly focused on 11

what could go wrong? It’s like flying in planes. You just have to 12

count on the law of averages.”

13

“And you
hate
to fly,” Andrea noted wryly.

14

“True. But I still do it. Maybe that’s what separates the clinically 15

paranoid from the rest of us. That we can choose to ignore stuff, to 16

make decisions based on the odds. I guess that’s what they call per-17

spective. Or sanity.”

18

“Maybe you’re right. Still, something like this . . .” Again, An-19

drea’s voice trailed off.

20

Kate found her thoughts returning to that final meeting with 21

Madeleine. And then the terrible scene described in the morning’s 22

papers.

23

The phone rang. Kate looked down at the LCD screen, then 24

back to Andrea. “Carter Mills’s office,” she whispered.

25

Andrea rose as Kate picked up the receiver. “Talk to you later,”

26

Andrea mouthed, gently closing the door behind her.

27

“Ms. Paine?” Kate recognized Clara Hurley’s voice, calm and 28

even, utterly impervious to the events of the past twelve hours.

29

The perfect secretary.

30

“Speaking.”

31

“Mr. Mills would like to see you.”

32

Kate’s heart skipped a beat. “Now?”

33

“Right away, please. He’s waiting.”

34 sh

w

35 re

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Carter Mills extended his long legs and leaned back in his chair.

2

With one hand he held the phone to his ear. With the other he 3

rubbed his forehead. The gentle rise and fall of his chest was barely 4

detectible beneath his starched white shirt. His suit jacket hung on 5

the back of his chair.

6

“I’ve already answered that.” From the doorway, Kate could hear 7

the fatigue in Mills’s voice. “At this point, there are no suspects 8

that we know of.”

9

There was a pause as Mills listened to the voice at the other end 10

of the receiver. For the first time, Kate noticed deep grooves run-11

ning between his brows and along the sides of his mouth.

12

“The firm will be offering a substantial reward for any informa-13

tion leading to an arrest,” Mills said. “My partners and I will be dis-14

cussing the details this afternoon.”

15

Another pause, longer this time.

16

“There’s absolutely no reason to think so,” Mills finally said. “If 17

she’d received threats of any type, I’m certain she would have in-18

formed us.”

19

After a final brief exchange, Mills hung up the phone and 20

looked up at Kate. “Please,” he said, waving her toward the same 21

chair she’d occupied Monday morning. “I was just finishing up 22

with the
Times.
”

23

He didn’t say Madeleine’s name. He didn’t have to.

24

“I’m so sorry,” Kate said. It was hardly an original response, and 25

she worried it might sound unfeeling. But Mills barely seemed to 26

hear her words.

27

“We were very close,” Mills said. His voice was slow and rhyth-28

mic, almost as if he were talking to himself. “I was her mentor, you 29

know. I hired her.”

30

“Yes,” said Kate. “I know.” As she spoke, Kate felt a tightness in 31

her chest. It was a moment before she realized that she was jealous.

32

Jealous of the young woman who had once so captivated Carter 33

Mills. Madeleine Waters was dead. Yet, her strongest emotion was ort 34

envy. What kind of person was she?

reg 35

“It’s such a waste,” Mills said, his eyes meeting Kate’s. “Such an 9858_01_003-152_r5hb.qxd 9/28/00 3:57 PM Page 95

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incredible tragedy and waste. Madeleine Waters was one of the 1

finest lawyers — and people — ever to enter this firm.”

2

Again, the small stab of jealousy. A wave of shame overtook her.

3

Her father’s voice floated back from the distant past.
Everything’s
4

not about you, Kate. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
She felt a 5

sudden determination to talk back to that voice, to show that she 6

was, after all, capable of sharing someone else’s pain.

7

“I know how you must feel,” she said. “I — when my mother 8

died — it was the hardest thing in the world for me. And even 9

then, I had time to prepare. It must be so difficult, everything hap-10

pening so fast —” She broke off midsentence. Again, she worried 11

that she’d said the wrong thing. Hadn’t she hated it when people 12

told her they knew how she felt? When secretly she’d been con-13

vinced that no one had ever felt as she did, that no one had ever 14

been so alone? But Mills seemed touched.

15

“That’s right,” he said softly. “I remember talking to you about 16

that when you interviewed with me at Harvard.”

17

He continued to look at her, with the gently penetrating gaze 18

that she recalled from their first meeting. He remembered. A slow 19

warmth melted through her body, and she felt inexplicably lighter.

20

He remembered.

21

Mills was nodding reflectively. “When a death happens so sud-22

denly, you don’t have time to . . . to say the things you would like 23

to have said. The things that you ought to have said.”

24

Kate had an odd sensation that he was pleading with her, asking 25

for reassurance. “I — I’m sure Madeleine would have understood 26

that,” she said.

27

“Perhaps.” For a moment, Mills looked almost wistful. He 28

seemed younger than he had when she walked in. Younger and 29

strangely vulnerable.

30

Kate felt herself leaning forward. Something in Mills’s expres-31

sion touched her, made her want to do something to prove her 32

concern. “If there’s anything that I can do,” she began. And then 33

stopped short. Ridiculous. After all, what could she possibly do?

34 sh

But the words seemed to call Mills back to the present. “That’s 35 re

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actually what I needed to speak with you about,” he said. His face 2

once again registered a calm authority. Kate could feel herself re-3

lax. The brief intimacy had been tantalizing but unsettling.

4

“I need your help in cataloguing the contents of Madeleine’s of-5

fice. We’re under a lot of pressure from the police. This has to be 6

done by tonight. I’ve dictated the protocol. You can get it from 7

Clara. Talk to me if you have any questions.”

8

Kate sat for a moment, stunned, her mind rapidly outlining the 9

parameters of her task.

10

“Kate?” Mills’s voice was peremptory. He was waiting for her re-11

sponse.

12

Kate quickly looked up. “I’ll get started right away,” she said.

13

14

15

In a world of open doors and soft voices, the door to Madeleine’s 16

office suite was shut tight, a tacit announcement that something 17

unusual had occurred within. Not that this was likely to come as 18

news to anyone passing by. Kate knocked three times, her knuck-19

les dully reverberating against the solid wood.

20

She heard a rustling inside, and then Carmen Rodriguez cracked 21

open the door. Kate could see that Madeleine’s former secretary 22

was not having an easy time. Carmen’s dark eyes were red, and her 23

vivid makeup had a slapdash look. Instead of her usual bright suit, 24

Carmen wore blue jeans and a yellow shirt. Her dark brown hair 25

was held back in a yellow scarf.

26

“Oh, hi,” she said flatly, opening the door to let Kate pass.

27

Inside, Carmen had already begun packing up the contents of 28

the built-in cabinets lining Madeleine’s reception area. Several 29

large cartons were piled full of folders. Nearby a stack of collapsed 30

boxes stood ready to be constructed. The tinny sound of soft rock 31

clattered from a radio somewhere.

32

“These are just old client files that I had in my drawers.” Car-33

men sounded defensive, as if she expected to be challenged.

ort 34

“Carter told me to go ahead and pack them up. I’m keeping a list.

reg 35

I haven’t touched anything in Madeleine’s office.”

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Kate nodded, searching her mind for something to say. Not only 1

had Carmen’s boss been killed, but she would also have to be reas-2

signed, which meant dealing with Samson’s notoriously inept sup-3

port staff bureaucracy, a division that often seemed to take sadistic 4

pleasure in incompatible pairings.

5

“This must be really hard on you,” Kate said. “How long had you 6

worked for Madeleine?”

7

“Five years.” Carmen looked down. Kate could tell that she was 8

trying not to cry. Even the support staff at Samson knew that tears 9

were a sign of weakness.

10

“Do you know where you’ll go now?”

11

Carmen’s eyes flashed. “I’m getting the hell out of this place,”

12

she said, her voice cracking with emotion. “Now that I’ve seen 13

how they treat people . . . I never would have believed it. Every-14

one thinks that Samson & Mills is such a fine place. Well, they can 15

have
it. I’ve got a friend at Paul Weiss. She thinks she can get me a 16

job there. And even if she can’t, I’m not hanging around. I’ll move 17

in with my mother if I have to.” Her tirade ended, Carmen turned 18

back to the boxes. The look of weary defeat returned to her face.

19

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” she said. “I gave notice first thing this 20

morning.”

21

Kate watched Carmen pack, her movements sharp and birdlike.

22

The reception area was quickly assuming the impersonal air of 23

places that no longer belong to anyone in particular. In the back-24

ground, Kate was vaguely aware of the radio, of the Supremes 25

singing about how you can’t hurry love. But she was still focused 26

on Carmen’s words.

27

“I don’t understand,” Kate said finally. “What are you talking 28

about?”

29

“Chuck Thorpe,” Carmen said.

30

Kate looked at her, surprised. “What about Chuck Thorpe?” she 31

asked.

32

Carmen placed her hands on her hips. Her eyes, almost black in 33

the harsh office light, seemed to send off sparks. “They used her,”

34 sh

Carmen said. “She couldn’t stand the man. But he wouldn’t take 35 re

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no for an answer. Not that anyone cared. All
they
cared about was 2

money. Using her to keep him happy. Made her have dinner with 3

him and God knows what else. Disgusting. Finally, she stood up for 4

herself. And look what happened.”

5

“You think Thorpe had something to do with the murder?”

6

Before Kate could think, the words were out. Carmen’s head 7

snapped back to the file in her hand, her face gone blank as a plate.

8

Kate knew at once she’d moved too fast. The question had re-9

minded Carmen of what was at stake if she spoke her mind. Sam-10

son employee or not, she could hardly take on WideWorld Media.

11

“I’m not saying
anything.
” Carmen’s voice had turned sullen.

12

“Look, if you have any questions about the files, I’ll be back in 13

about an hour. I’ve got some errands to run. Just be sure that no 14

one else gets into Madeleine’s office, okay?”