Authors: Amy Gutman
ing that nothing had happened, she could actually make it so.
7
“So what’s going on at work?” Kate asked between spoonfuls 8
of spicy soup. She felt an urge to reconnect with the Samson & 9
Mills she knew, a fast-paced, rational world that hummed like a 10
well-oiled machine. A world where everything was clearly linked 11
by cause and effect. A world where violence never occurred.
12
“Let’s see.” Justin leaned back into the couch. “The big news to-13
day is that Drescher threw a stapler at a paralegal.”
14
Kate leaned forward. “He
what?
”
15
“It was Erik Parks, a new kid. Just graduated from Amherst.
16
Anyway, Drescher had him stamping some huge document pro-17
duction. Parks had never done it before. He went back to ask 18
Drescher some question, and Drescher just started screaming at 19
him. Parks tried to back off, but I guess he wasn’t fast enough.”
20
Kate shook her head. Stories like this were the stuff of Samson 21
legend, usually evoking an incredulous amusement. And yet, 22
tonight Kate couldn’t quite see the humor. The story just seemed 23
bizarre. Bizarre and a little frightening.
24
“Did the stapler hit him?” she asked softly.
25
“No. He was plenty scared, though.” Justin bit into a spring roll 26
and chewed for a moment, reflective. Then he wiped his mouth 27
with a napkin. “I talked to him at lunch. I mean, he was trying to 28
laugh it off, but you could tell that it had freaked him out.”
29
“Well, of course. God.” Kate’s thoughts returned to her own re-30
cent confrontations with Drescher. The repressed rage in his face 31
when he’d expelled her from Madeleine’s office. Her narrow escape 32
later that evening, when she’d hidden under his desk. She’d really 33
gotten off easy. Nothing at all like last night. . . . In an instant, 34 sh
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she was back in her unlit office. She could feel Chuck Thorpe’s 2
hands.
3
No.
Don’t think about that.
4
“Kate?” Justin was looking at her strangely.
5
“Sorry, I just lost my train of thought for a second. What were 6
you saying?”
7
“Just that I’ve got another one, another colorful story from the 8
annals of S&M.”
9
Justin was clearly relishing the opportunity to play raconteur, 10
and Kate made an effort to seem responsive. “Okay, shoot.”
11
“So do you know Daniel Weisbach?”
12
The name sounded vaguely familiar, but Kate didn’t feel up to 13
sorting through the possibilities. “Yeah, I think so,” she hedged.
14
“He’s a third-year. Went to law school at NYU.”
15
“Okay.”
16
“So he’s this really hard worker. But, because of the Sabbath, he 17
has to leave work early on Fridays and can’t work on Saturdays at 18
all. So he’s sort of been trying to make up for it by pulling these 19
constant all-nighters during the rest of the week.”
20
“And?”
21
“He was interviewing some guy from Harvard today for a sum-22
mer associate job. All of a sudden Weisbach starts feeling a little 23
queasy.
He excuses himself, and steps out into the hall. His secre-24
tary instantly sees that something is wrong. Then Weisbach just 25
keels over. They call in the medics and cart him off to the hospital.
26
It turns out that he has walking pneumonia and a hundred-and-27
three-degree fever. Not to mention that he’s seriously dehydrated.
28
He said he’d been too busy to notice.”
29
Again, Kate shook her head. She tried to summon up a smile, 30
but it died on her lips. In the past, she’d reveled in the gallows hu-31
mor that accompanied the telling of these tales: the guy who com-32
mitted suicide after working two 125-hour weeks in a row; the 33
female associate who fell silent in the middle of a late-night con-ort 34
ference call only to be discovered later at her desk, phone still in reg 35
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hand, and very, very dead, the victim of a sudden heart attack. The 1
stories had always seemed unreal, like incidents from a movie. Kate 2
had even laughed. But tonight the reality hit her. These were real 3
people, real people who had died. What had she found to laugh at?
4
There was nothing funny about death.
5
“You know, in Japan there’s a word to describe people who drop 6
dead from overwork,” Kate said. “
Karoshi.
I read about it in the 7
paper.”
8
“Actually,” said Justin, “there are two words. There’s another 9
word — I don’t remember what it is — but it’s for cases of work-10
related
suicide.
As opposed to, well, whatever you call the other 11
kind. Spontaneous. Anyway, there’ve been a bunch of lawsuits, 12
where Japanese families are suing for compensation.”
13
“I wonder how you prove causation,” Kate said dryly.
14
“Got me.”
15
Kate was suddenly aghast at her train of thought. Was this what 16
being a lawyer did to you? Instead of responding as a human being, 17
you thought about how to prove a case?
18
“I don’t really see what the difference is,” she said gloomily.
19
“The difference with what?”
20
“Between
karoshi
and the other one, suicide from overwork. I 21
mean, it boils down to the same thing. What’s the difference be-22
tween forcing yourself to work so hard that you die and shooting 23
yourself in the head? One’s just faster, that’s all.”
24
“Interesting,” said Justin. “So I guess you’d say that all of us 25
S&M minions are engaged in some sort of group self-destruction.
26
We’re in the process of killing ourselves, we’re just not there yet.
27
Just bring on the Kool-Aid.”
28
“Kool-Aid?”
29
“Just a joke. You know. Jonestown. Where they drank the poi-30
soned Kool-Aid.”
31
“Oh. Yeah.” Kate was feeling increasingly depressed. It was as 32
though the room had suddenly grown smaller, darker. She sensed 33
Chuck Thorpe at its edges.
34 sh
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Justin sighed. “Come on, Kate. Lighten up. Have some more 2
soup.”
3
“Okay.” Obediently, Kate spooned up another mouthful. As she 4
swallowed the warm liquid, her thoughts moved to Madeleine 5
Waters.
6
“Is there any new word on Madeleine?” she asked.
7
“Just a couple of rumors,” Justin said. “The usual paranoid stuff 8
that she was done in by the partnership. Mills or Drescher. Or 9
maybe both of them working together. Along with the Pope, the 10
Trilateral Commission, and the IRS.”
11
Kate tried to laugh, but none of it seemed very funny. Again, the 12
memories pressed in on her. Chuck Thorpe’s hands on her body, 13
his breath on her face. The more she thought about it, the more 14
likely it seemed that Thorpe was Madeleine’s killer. Her mind 15
went back to the events of the past few days. Madeleine’s grip on 16
her shoulder, her urgent words:
You have to be very careful.
Carmen 17
Rodriguez’s fury.
They made her have dinner with him, and God knows
18
what else.
And then Thorpe’s brutal attack. Yes, she’d been very 19
drunk last night, but that didn’t mean that she’d been wrong. She 20
was sober now and could think it through. And the pieces of the 21
puzzle still fit, just as they had last night.
22
Justin didn’t seem to notice her distraction. He’d walked over to 23
the TV and was studying the weekly broadcast schedule.
24
“Wanna watch a stupid movie?”
25
“If you do,” Kate said.
26
Justin flipped on the television and returned to the couch. The 27
movie had already started. Two sisters — one rich, one poor —
28
were fighting over their mother’s estate, but really what they 29
wanted was each other’s love. Giving Justin a sideways glance, 30
Kate felt a surge of gratitude that he was here tonight. He’d always 31
been there when she needed him, and tonight was no exception.
32
The only difference was that tonight he had no idea, no idea at all 33
what she was going through.
ort 34
A commercial flashed on the screen. Justin turned toward Kate.
reg 35
“So what’s up with that guy Douglas you’ve been seeing?” he asked.
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Kate had barely thought of Douglas since their Friday night 1
date. It felt like another lifetime.
2
“I’m hardly seeing him,” Kate said, trying to cut short the ex-3
change. “I’ve just been out with him once.”
4
But Justin persevered, his voice warm. “I’m just really glad to see 5
you moving on. That thing with Michael — he wasn’t worth it 6
then, and he’s certainly not worth it now. It’s important to have 7
someone in your life.”
8
“Can we just not talk about this now?” Kate asked. Still preoc-9
cupied with thoughts of Chuck Thorpe, she was only half focused 10
on what Justin was saying. “Besides, you’re hardly in a position to 11
talk. When was the last time that you had a date?”
12
Justin opened his mouth, as if he was about to speak. But then, 13
looking at Kate, he closed it again. There was something odd in his 14
expression, an emotion that she couldn’t place.
15
“What?” Kate asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
16
Justin shook his head and then laughed, a sheepish, boyish 17
sound. He stood up and walked to the window. Then he turned 18
back toward Kate. “This is ridiculous. I don’t know why I feel un-19
comfortable telling you this. I mean, we’re friends, right?”
20
“Right.” She had a growing sense of trepidation.
21
“Well, the thing is . . .” Justin was briefly tongue-tied. Then he 22
blurted it out. “I’ve started going out with someone. A woman, I 23
mean.” He ran a hand across his forehead and smiled, the familiar 24
slightly lopsided grin that she knew so well. “Whew. I guess that 25
wasn’t so hard.”
26
Kate’s lips returned Justin’s smile, but her face felt frozen in 27
place. She felt disoriented, unable to situate herself in time and 28
space. Almost as if she were drowning. Still, she managed to keep 29
up the smile.
30
“So don’t keep me in suspense. Who is she?” Kate’s voice was 31
unnaturally bright. Like Lucy Ricardo trying to keep something se-32
cret from husband Ricky.
33
“Well, not surprisingly, she’s a lawyer,” Justin began. “Since I’d 34 sh
have little chance of meeting anyone else.” He took a deep breath.
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“Her name’s Laura Lacy. She works at Wilmot Dickerson. I met her 2
last month when we did a joint document review with them. You’d 3
like her, Kate. She went to Penn. Does a lot of pro bono work.”
4
Now that the shock had begun to ebb, Kate was more confused 5
than upset. Her reaction didn’t make any sense. After all, Justin 6
wasn’t her boyfriend. He had every right to date anyone he 7
wanted.
8
“That’s wonderful,” Kate said, trying to bring a warmth to her 9
voice that she was far from feeling. “So, how long has this romance 10
been going on?”
11
“Oh, not long,” Justin said quickly.
12
Something in his voice made Kate want to know more. “So how 13
long is that?”
14
Justin sat down on the couch, crossing one long leg over the 15
other. “Oh, a few weeks, I guess. Maybe about a month.”
16
A month.
Kate felt as if she’d been slapped. She’d always as-17
sumed that Justin confided in her about the important things in his 18
life. Before she could stop herself, the words were out. “Why didn’t 19
you tell me?”
20
“I
am
telling you, Kate. I’m telling you right now.” Justin 21
sounded awkward, as if he wasn’t sure what to say.
22
Kate slumped down against Justin’s side, her head turned away 23
so he wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes. She tried to sort through 24
her thoughts. Was she jealous? She tried the thought on for size, 25
then dismissed it. She didn’t want Justin for a lover; she wanted 26
him for a friend.
27
“Kate?” Justin’s voice was soft. Kate shrank lower on the couch, 28
keeping her head turned away. Maybe this wasn’t about Justin at 29