Waiting for Him (Waiting Series Book 3) (14 page)

      “How was he?” I ask Garrett.

      “He was perfect as usual and we had a lot of fun.” I carry him to the kitchen and grab the bottle I had warmed in preparation of his return. Liam starts to wave his arms and kick his legs when he catches sight of his lunch. I laugh as I sit down on the couch and settle him into my arms. He latches onto the bottle’s nipple with so much force, I’m thankful that I’m no longer breastfeeding. I just stopped this past week. It was too hard to continue now that I’m back at work. I gave it my best shot and hung in there for a few more weeks, but I’m glad I made the decision to stop.

      “Did you have fun last night?” Garrett asks as we sit side by side on the couch.

      “Yeah, I did. It felt strange to be out, though. I didn’t really feel like I could cut loose and really enjoy myself. I’m not sure why I was struggling so much. I even had a couple of extra shots to dull my senses, but it still didn’t help.
Nothing could drown out my thoughts of the large, sexy man that offered me boiling hot sex.

      “Maybe I’m turning into an old fuddy-duddy now that I’m a mom.” He barks out a laugh.

      “You couldn’t be further from that if you tried. You need to give yourself a chance to adjust to all the huge changes that have gone on in your life. It’s no wonder you didn’t feel the same when you were with your friends...you aren’t the same. You’re a completely different person than the last time you guys went out.”

      I take a moment to think about what Garrett just said. He’s absolutely right. I am different. How could I not be? I’m a mother now and Liam is the most important person to me. The love I have for him and the sense of responsibility I feel toward him aren’t things that can be pushed aside or forgotten, even for a few hours.

“Wow, I think you’re right. I’ve never really thought about it in those terms. Having a baby certainly is a major life change. I guess I’m handling everything better than I realize.”

      Liam’s finished with his bottle and I want to get him down for a nap before I talk to Garrett.

      “Hey, I’m going to put him down for his nap and then can we talk for a bit?”

      “Sure, I don’t have any place I need to be at the moment.” I start to walk toward the nursery as I place Liam over my shoulder and pat him on the back until he releases a few burps. After a quick diaper change, I lay him down on in his crib. He gazes up at me with sleepy eyes and I know he’ll be off to dreamland in no time flat. I cover him with his blanket and caress his soft hair one last time before I make my way back to the living room, where Garrett waits for me.

      I sit down on the couch with my back braced against the armrest. I want to be able to face him while we talk. My palms are suddenly damp from nerves and I have to remind myself that I’m doing the right thing by having this conversation.

      “I want to talk to you about something, but I’m not sure how to bring it up.” I rub my hands on my legs and remind myself to breathe.

      “Just say whatever you need to. It’s that simple.” He says. I look up at him and he nods his head encouragingly.

      “I really like how things are between us now. I feel like you’ve become a great friend and I love that I can count on you, not only to be there for Liam but to also be there for me. I know if I needed anything I could call you and you’d help me with whatever it was and I’d do the same for you.”  At this point I pause for a moment, knowing that the hard part is still to come.

      “I want things to always be this way with us. I’m happy just being your friend and I don’t want more from you. I still feel some chemistry between us, but I think that’s always going to be there. I just wanted you to know that I’m happy with our relationship the way it is.” I bite on my lower lip nervously as I wait for him to say something in reply.

      “If I told you I’m not disappointed by what you just said, I’d be lying. There’s a part of me that’s been holding out hope of us reconciling and being a happy little family. I agree that things are great with us right now and they don’t need to change. I’ll always be here for Liam and you, no matter what. What you’ve told me isn’t going to change anything between us. I think we have a really great friendship here and while I’d love there to be more, I’m okay with things remaining the way they are.” He pulls me into his arms and hugs me comfortingly before kissing me on the forehead.

      “Just so you know, if you’re looking for a friend with benefits I’m volunteering.”

Chapter Twenty

Jeff

      Football season has officially started and my schedule has been so hectic. This university is serious about their football program and as their main trainer, I’m responsible for making sure they are in peak physical condition. I really believe in the importance of flexibility and I’ve been running the guys through a thirty-minute yoga session each day before practice. I’m hoping it will help prevent some of the common muscular injuries so many football players suffer from.

      We haven’t had to travel to any games yet, but that’s all about to change in the next week or so. I’m looking forward to a change of scenery. It’s been about three months since Shelby, and I spoke and I still think about her all the time. I’m thankful that the painful ache in my chest has lessened some. I’ve even been thinking about starting to date again. I’m nervous about it...worried about putting myself out there again. After three years of being with Shelby, I thought she was it for me. It never occurred to me that we wouldn’t end up together. I don’t want to invest myself in another relationship only to have it end. I don’t know if I can go through all that emotional pain again.

      It’s the end of my workday and I have no plans for the rest of my night. I don’t feel like cooking, so I’ll probably just grab a pizza from my favorite place. I get takeout from there at least twice a week and the delivery boy and I are now on a first name basis. As I walk to my SUV, I notice a car with the hood up. I notice a female form bent over the front of the car as she looks at the engine. Her ass is heart shaped perfection in her tiny shorts and her legs are long and lean. My cock twitches a little in appreciation of her fine form and I smile. Maybe it’s a sign that I’m starting to get over Shelby. I haven’t had a hard on for another woman beside her, except for that one night that Samantha was grinding against me. She and I haven’t spoken since the day after she went down on me when I was so harsh with her. Now she won’t even look in my direction most days. I did what I thought was best at the time, now I’m not so sure. Maybe she would’ve been fine with an easy letdown.

      As I make my way over to the broken down car, I notice that this girl’s body is even better looking up close. She has on a pair of cutoff jean shorts, the bottom edges are frayed and hug her glorious ass perfectly. Her legs are well-muscled but still feminine. She has on a pair of silver flip flops and her toes are even adorable. She has them painted a bright blue and there’s a tattoo on the top of her foot that I can’t make out.

      “Hey, do you need some help?” I ask as I approach. I don’t want to scare her by suddenly appearing beside her. She lifts her torso up out of the car and turns to face me.
Holy fuck, it’s Samantha.
Her face is makeup free, making her appear younger than she is. I like this clean faced look on her. She should wear less makeup all the time and let her natural beauty shine through. I notice her wet hair is up in some kind of knot on top of her head. She must have showered after practice. At the thought of her sculpted body in the shower, water trailing slowly down over her luscious curves, my dick instantly goes to full mast.
Fuck.

     
“I’m not sure what’s wrong, it won’t start.” She says looking uncomfortable. I feel bad that I’ve made her feel this awkward with me.

      “Let me take a look,” I say as I step forward and lean under the hood. I check all of her connections, but everything appears to be fine.

“Are you sure you’re not out of gas?” I ask as I step back away from the car.

      “I’m not an idiot. I’m perfectly capable of remembering to put gas in. Not all cheerleaders are dumb.” She crosses her arms over her chest and it pushes her breasts up even higher. She’s wearing a white, ribbed tank top and her cleavage is now fully on display. I grit my teeth and try to think of the least sexy thing I can come up with. Why the image of Shelby and Garrett fucking pops into my head, I’ll never know, but it does the trick and instantly kills my erection.

      “I never said or implied that you’re an idiot. Sometimes gauges break and you might not realize you’re out of gas. You could also need a new battery. I’m not really all that great with auto repair, I wish I could be of more help.” She gives me a hint of a smile.

      “No, it’s okay. I appreciate you trying to help. I already called for a tow truck and they should be here any second. In fact, I’m going to leave the keys under the seat and walk home. I’ve wasted enough time on this.”

      “I’ll give you a ride home.” I find myself offering. She shakes her head.

      “No, it’s okay. I can walk just fine.” I put my hand on her arm so she’ll look at me.

      “Let me give you a ride. It’s no trouble at all.”

      “Okay.”

***

      Later that night as I’m lying in bed I think about Samantha and how I may have misjudged her. She was very sweet today and thankful for the ride I gave her. The atmosphere in the car was awkward and I hate that I’m the reason for that. Maybe I can change things between us so she’s not so uncomfortable around me. As I drove her home, it was all I could do to keep my eyes on the road and not on her silken, tan thighs. I wondered what they would feel like wrapped around my hips as I thrust into her? Just thinking about it has my dick iron hard and I know I won’t be able to sleep like this. I reach down and fist my cock, moving my hand up and down a few times. I grab the bottle of lube off my nightstand and squirt some into my hand before rubbing it all over my steel hard length.
Yeah, that’s more like it.
The lube and the heat from my hand help me to imagine that I’m thrusting into Samantha’s hot, wet pussy. I fantasize that she’s bent over the hood of her car and her shorts are around her ankles. I squeeze my fist and pump my hips as if I’m fucking her relentlessly. It’s only a minute or so before my orgasm erupts all over my hand and stomach. I exhale a large breath as I realize this is the first time my fantasy didn’t involve Shelby.

Chapter Twenty-One

Shelby -Thanksgiving

      As strange as it may sound we’re going over Garrett’s parent’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. He and I agreed that if I was going to have Liam at my father’s house for Christmas day, then we should spend this holiday with his family. I met his parents years ago when we were dating and they came to the hospital when I had Liam, which I thought was very sweet. Especially since they didn’t even know whether he was their grandson or not. I briefly met his brother Jackson, his wife Dee and their adorable daughter Leah, at a family party but I haven’t seen them since Garrett, and I broke up.
Broke up...yeah, not so much of a breakup, more like a breakdown.
I shudder from the memories of that horrible period of time. I’m expecting everyone will be perfectly civil to me, they’re not like my four older brothers who like to fuck with everyone they meet.

      Garrett wanted to drive us all over there, but I insisted on bringing my own car because he’s keeping Liam overnight and I’m going over to Hailey’s parents’ house to have dessert with all of them.
I wonder if Jake will be there?
I haven’t seen him since that night a couple of months ago at J.J.’s, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little put off by the fact that he hasn’t even tried to contact me. He acted so hot to have me and got me all worked up and now nothing. I’m so glad that I didn’t fall for it. He’s a player and I’m not really into game playing. I prefer a much straighter approach. When I’m ready I’ll find someone to become involved with and whether it’s an actual relationship or just a sex-only arrangement I’ll make sure we set some ground rules up front. It’ll be a long time before I can trust someone and whoever becomes involved with me will surely have their hands full. Trust is earned and unfortunately, my past has shaped me into someone who’s skeptical when it comes to relationships. When you’ve been in three serious relationships and all of them have ended badly, it tends to make you gun shy.

      When we arrive at the Hanlon’s Garrett comes out to help carry everything inside. I carry in the apple pie and chocolate chip cookies that I baked and the bag with the baby’s things. Garrett leans in the car to remove Liam from his car seat and as soon as he catches sight of his dad he squeals and waves his hands.

      “Pffft, you’re such a daddy’s boy already you little monkey,” I say and smile at the two of them.

      “Are you my big boy?” I missed you so much.” Garrett says as he squeezes him tightly to his chest. We walk together, up the brick covered path to the front door of the large white colonial that he grew up in. The three of us feel like a family even though Garrett and I aren’t involved romantically. I’m really happy how well we’ve been able to handle just being friends. In fact, we’ve actually become so close I consider him to be my best friend aside from Hailey. I’m glad that we were able to salvage something from our time together. Not like Jeff and I. Jeff, who I haven’t spoken to in five months and probably won’t ever again. I still miss him, but I think that he did the best thing for himself and I can’t fault him for that. Self-preservation kicks in sometimes and makes us do things we wouldn’t normally have the courage to. He’s probably much better off for having the clean break from us...me not so much. He was an important part of my life and I’ll always regret the loss of his friendship. 

      We’re not even in the front door before Janie, Garrett’s mother is reaching out for Liam. Her face is beaming with happiness as she looks at her grandson.

      “Mom, can we get inside before you take him from me?” He shakes his head as he holds the door for me to enter first.

      “I can’t help it if I’m excited to see my grandson. He’s gotten so big since I saw him last month.” Garrett removes Liam’s jacket and hat before handing him to his grandmother. They laugh when they see his baby’s first Thanksgiving shirt. I shrug my shoulders and smile.

      “What can I say? I’m a sucker for holiday themed shirts for babies.”  We follow his mother into the kitchen, so I can put down the desserts I brought and she can check the timer on the oven. From there we go to the living room where we find the rest of his family. I’m greeted warmly by them all and they go crazy over Liam, especially Leah. She told me she was excited to have a cousin, even though he’s a boy and everyone shared a laugh. It’s hard for me to believe how big she’s gotten. She was only a tiny three-year-old when I met her and now she’s almost eight. It makes me realize how quickly time flies and that I need to savor every moment with Liam. He’ll be grown up before I know it.

      Janie did a wonderful job cooking the turkey and all the fixings. It was delicious, but as soon as dinner is over it’s time for me to leave. I hold Liam and kiss him about one hundred more times before I hand him back over to his Auntie Dee. I’m sad that I won’t see him again, until tomorrow afternoon. Garrett takes my hand and squeezes it as we walk outside together. It should feel strange holding his hand like this, but it doesn’t. It actually feels comforting to me. When we reach my car, I turn to face him.

      “Thanks for a great time. I really love your family and I’m glad that Liam has them.” Garrett stares at me for a moment before brushing the piece of hair that’s fallen in my face, to the side. He tucks it behind my ear and then leans over brushing my lips with his. It’s an innocent kiss, but definitely unexpected. He hasn’t kissed me on the lips in months.

      “What was that for?” I bluntly ask.

      “Do you ever wonder if we’re doing the wrong thing by just being friends? There are so many great things about us. Sometimes I wonder why we don’t just get married and be a true family.”

His expression is serious and contemplative.

      “I can’t say I’ve never wondered that same thing, but I will say that more often than not I’m thrilled with the way we are. The three of us are still a family, just not a traditional one. I love you, but I’m not in love with you. I don’t know about you, but I don’t ever want to settle for less than the best love possible. I don’t know if that’s in my future or not, but I hope it is. I want the same for you. I want you to find a woman that values what a wonderful man you are and loves you wholeheartedly. That’s what you deserve and I’m sorry that I couldn’t be that person for you. Our relationship may not have lasted that long, but I don’t want you to ever doubt how much I loved you. Fate dealt us a rough hand and we’ve done the best we could with it.” I cup his cheek with my hand and he leans into it, kissing my palm.

      “Drive safe and text me when you get to Hailey’s please,” I smile at him as I get into the car.

      “I will.”

***

      The drive to Hailey’s family’s house takes me about forty-five minutes and I arrive just before six o’clock. I text Garrett to let him know I’m there and I smile as I think about how sweet it is that he worries about my safety. I wasn’t sure how it would all work out when I told him I only wanted to be friends, but things have really been going great for the past couple of months.

      Hailey’s family were eating dinner at five, so I shouldn’t be interrupting at this point. I ring the doorbell and as I wait for someone to answer I glance around the picturesque neighborhood. Some of the houses have already put their Christmas lights up and I smile as I think of Liam’s first visit with Santa. I can’t wait to get his picture taken with him.

      I’m still facing away from the door when it opens and large muscular arms engulf me from behind. I’m pulled back against a hard chest and a voice growls in my ear, “I’ve missed you.” I place my hands on top of his and look up over my shoulder at Jake. He looks even better now than he did that night in the bar. His hair is longer and he’s got it messily styled, his beard’s thicker and he smells divine. I spin around and wrap my arms around his waist, squeezing him tight. My nose gets buried in the middle of his chest as I breathe in his tantalizing scent.

      “I’ve missed you too,” I tell him, the sound of my voice muffled against his shirt. Jake and I used to be really good friends and we spent a lot of time together. I’m not sure what happened to change that. Maybe it was my relationship with Jeff that was the catalyst for the distance between us. The two of them never cared for each other and tensions always seemed to run high when they were in the same room. After a while, it just seemed easier to keep them apart which, unfortunately, meant not seeing Jake very often.

      We stay clasped together for a minute, Jake’s hand is tangled in my hair at the nape of my neck, the other wrapped behind my back. His lips press against the top of my head before he pulls away. There’s a fleeting moment when his expression is strained but then he flashes me one his killer smiles and I wonder if I imagined it.

      “Let’s get you inside where it’s warm. I didn’t realize you aren’t wearing a jacket.” The temperatures were in the fifties when I left my house today, so I wore a sweater instead. I’m regretting that decision now, although I didn’t even notice the cold when I was in Jake’s arms.  

      He opens the door and ushers me in first. I remove my cardigan and hang it on the coat rack just inside the door. I straighten out the emerald green blouse I’m wearing and look up at Jake. His eyes are traveling slowly over my form, taking me in from head to toe and back up again. My stomach twists with a combination of unease and desire. I’m not completely comfortable with my body after having Liam. I haven’t done any form of exercise in months and I still have a little belly from the ten pounds I’ve yet to lose. Knowing that he’s looking at me with desire makes my stomach flutter with need. I want to push him back against the door and climb him like a tree. I want to grip his hair and grind my core against his hard length.
What the hell?
I wonder if he can see the inner conflict I’m dealing with on my face? I’ve never had such an intense desire to fuck someone in my life. I say fuck because the word sex doesn’t seem dirty enough for what I want to do to with him. I need to stop this nonsense and put some distance between us.

      “Is everyone in the dining room?” I ask hoping to break up this sexually tense moment.

      “Yeah, come on.” He says and grabs my hand. I love the way my hand feels in his large, warm grasp. He keeps his hold gentle, yet firm as I walk beside him.

      “Look who’s here.” He says as we enter the room. Everyone says hi to me at the same time, like a chorus, making us all laugh. Hailey jumps up and hugs me.

      “Happy Thanksgiving. I’m so glad you’re here.”

      “Thanks for the invite.”

I exchange greetings with the rest of her family and her mother makes me show her Liam’s latest picture.

      “He’s so adorable. I want a grandchild.” She pouts. “Hailey and Cory, can you do something about that please?” Cory arches his eyebrow at Hailey as if to say he’s on board with that idea.

      “All in good time mom,” Hailey says with a wink in Cory’s direction.

      I look around the table and notice the beautiful centerpiece that sits in the middle. It’s made up of fall colored flowers. The shades of gold, orange, and brown complement the neutral tones of the room.

      After we all have more pie than we needed, we adjourn to the family room for some football. I somehow end up seated next to Jake on the loveseat. His shoulders are so broad I feel as though he could take up the whole space by himself. It feels as if it’s shrunken down in size with him beside me. The warmth of his thick, muscular thigh next to mine, is enticing. I’m trying to remind myself that it wouldn’t be a good idea to swing my leg over his and straddle his lap like climbing on a horse when his hand somehow ends up on my thigh. My breath hitches from the unexpected contact and I pray he didn’t hear it. I don’t want him to know how much his touch affects me and how tempting I find him. His hand remains in place, but now his thumb is drawing slow sensual circles on my leg. It’s ridiculous that he can caress me with a single digit and make it feel as though thousands of butterflies have taken flight in my stomach. I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to be able to sit here, with him teasing me. I haven’t had sex in over six months now and I’m craving his body in the worst way. I want to lick him from his lips to his cock and back up again and then ride him so hard that he never forgets what it feels like.
Holy shit.
I can’t believe the thoughts that I’m having as I sit here next to him. I need to get away from him for a minute and cool myself off.

      I stand up abruptly and answer Hailey’s questioning look with a muttered “bathroom.” Once I’m out of the living room I speed walk to the staircase and run up it as fast as I possibly can. I practically run to Hailey’s old bathroom, which is connected to her bedroom. I want to have some privacy and I may be in there a while.

      Once I shut myself inside, I turn on the cold water and splash a little on my overheated cheeks. God, that man gives me hot flashes and wet panties. He’s entirely too tempting and I need to stay the hell away from him. He has me so worked up I’m tempted to take care of it right now, but I’d rather wait until I’m alone in my bed tonight. Then I can fantasize about all the inappropriate things I want him to do to me, but know will never happen.

      I dry my face and hands on the towel before exiting the bathroom. Jake’s leaning against the wall when I come out and he scared the bejesus out of me. I place my hand on my chest and take a deep breath.