Waiting for Him (Waiting Series Book 3) (10 page)

      “Goodbye, Shelby.” I don’t even get an opportunity to answer before he’s already hung up. I sit there, on my couch, my phone clenched in my hand and cry over the final gasp of our relationship.

Chapter Fifteen

Jeff

     
When Shelby called me and informed me that I’m not Liam’s father I was much more devastated than I let on. God, that phone call destroyed me, but it also gave me the clarity in my life that I’ve been lacking lately. I suddenly knew exactly what I had to do; even though it would tear my own heart out in the process. I cut things off with Shelby so she and Garrett can find their way back together. I know he’s the one she truly belongs with. You can’t fuck with destiny and I should know. I sure gave it the old college try, but it came back and bit me in the ass. Now, I’ve ruined any chance I had of being with the girl I love more than anything in the world. I have no one to blame, but myself, although I don’t think that will provide much consolation from missing her. It’s so difficult for me to imagine that I’ll never kiss her sweet lips or make love to her again for the rest of my life. I see a string of sleepless nights ahead of me. I know I’ll be lying in my bed thinking about her and wishing things were different. All I have left is my work and I’ll have to bury myself in it until I’m too exhausted to think about Shelby and how much I miss her. As devastating as it may be, making a clean break is what’s best for both of us in the long run.

Chapter Sixteen

Garrett

     
When Shelby told me that I was Liam’s father, it felt as though time froze for a moment. I swear my heart paused for a couple of beats before starting again with a fast paced thump. So many emotions raced through me at the same time, but the most distinguishable one was happiness. I can’t remember anything in my thirty-one years that has made me as ecstatic as what was written on that single piece of paper. I want to frame those results and hang them on my wall for all to see.

      It’s been over twenty-four hours since I got the best news possible and it still hasn’t sunk in. Even now, as I rock my son to sleep, I feel as though it must be a dream.
How can this be my life? How can this precious little angel in my arms be our son? How can one man deserve to be so blessed?
I’m not sure what I’ve ever done in my life that warrants such a reward, but I plan on being the best father I can and earning the privilege of being Liam’s dad.
Dad
…I can’t wait to hear him call me that. It’s the greatest name in the world. I nuzzle my nose down onto the downy blonde fuzz that covers his head and inhale his sweet baby scent. I’ll never get tired of moments like these.

      I can’t help but wonder what the future holds for Shelby and I. I’m still staying with them right now, but she isn’t going to let me get away with strong arming her for much longer. It’s only a matter of time before she shows me to the door and when she does, I’m going to be unhappy about it. I won’t be seeing much of her once that happens, which means, I won’t be seeing much of Liam either. I have to figure out a way to convince her that she wants to give us another chance. I want to be with her more than anything and there has to be something that I can do to prove to her that I’m not going anywhere. I’m here for the long haul whether she wants me or not.

***

      Liam is now nine days old and the three of us are at Mr. Tyler’s house for Sunday dinner. This is only the second time I’ve been here. The first time was for Christmas Eve four and a half years ago and it also happens to be when Shelby and I said I love you for the first time. I remember being so nervous about meeting her brother’s and her father. It didn’t help that I knew how much they all loved Jeff and wanted him to end up with Shelby. I’m such a dumbass for walking away and almost letting that happen. It makes me crazy to think of how close she came to marrying him. I’ve learned not to think about what’s already passed because I can’t change the outcome and ultimately it only upsets me. I need to focus on the positive and let my mistakes go. She didn’t end up married to Jeff, and he’s finally out of the picture. I still have a chance to spend the rest of my life with the girl of my dreams. Now I have to figure out how to make that hope a reality.

      Dinner is a long drawn out affair at the Tyler house. With Shelby’s four older brothers, their friend Becker and her dad, there’s a lot of conversation going on. The noise is an assault on my senses. I’m not used to how loud all of these guys are. Shelby is sitting here in the middle of it all, like the princess of the bunch. She has a big smile on her face and she’s trading barbs with Aiden. She’s giving it back to him as good as she’s taking it. I’m not sure what to make of him. He’s a funny guy, but some of the things he says are a bit mean-spirited rather than amusing. He has a chip on his shoulder and sooner or later someone’s going to knock it off. Whenever he starts to take it too far, Greyson chimes in and tells him to watch himself. I like how protective he is of Shelby, and I know out of all her brothers, he’s her favorite. Brennan and Hollis, her two oldest brothers, keep the conversation mostly business related and they seem to talk mostly to their father. Becker comments on things that Grey and Aiden are saying, but for the most part, he listens like me.

      Rose interrupts the conversational flow when she brings a screaming Liam into the room.

      “Somebody’s hungry.” She says as she hands him off to Shelby.

      “Jeezus, listen to the set of pipes on that kid. He sounds like Aiden.” Hollis says, and everyone laughs.

      “Piss off Hollis.” Aiden replies. 

      Shelby stands up with Liam in her arms and I pull her chair back for her. I rise up next to her and lean down.

      “Why don’t you let me take him and feed him his bottle. There are made up bottles in the fridge, right?” She nods her head and smiles up at me. It’s a genuine smile, not forced at all and it makes me willing to do almost anything to see it again.

      “Are you sure? Did you finish eating?” She questions me, touching my arm with the hand that isn’t cradling our son. I reach down and scoop Liam up, laying him over my shoulder and rub his back in a circular motion with one hand while patting his diaper laden bottom with the other. He’s no longer crying, but I know that I have only a short window of opportunity to get his bottle warmed up and ready for him to drink before he starts again. I’m getting to be an old pro at this dad stuff, I think to myself and it makes me smile as I lock eyes with Shelby. She caresses Liam’s head one last time before she sits down to finish her meal. As I turn to walk away, she tugs on my hand.

      “Thank you.” She says and I wink at her before I walk toward the kitchen to feed our little monkey.

      When I get to the kitchen, Rose already has the bottle out and she’s already warmed it up for me. She smiles at Liam and hands me the bottle.

      “Thanks, Rose.” I flash her a quick smile before I shake the bottle and test it on my wrist. I lay him in the crook of my left arm and get him comfortably situated so I can feed him. His little mouth latches onto the bottle’s nipple with surprisingly strong suction. His eyes are big and he’s staring up at me so trustingly. I know he probably can’t even see me clearly, but I like to think that he already recognizes me as his daddy. I lower my nose to his head and breathe in his sweet baby smell. I’ll never get enough of it or these quiet moments with him. Becoming his father is my greatest accomplishment in life. It’s made me realize how empty my days were before he came along. Now I wonder what I did with all of my time.

      “Was my boy hungry?” I ask as I make my eyes wide for him. He stares up at me as if he’s trying to figure out who I am. In the bright lighting of the kitchen, I study his perfect little face as he greedily sucks down his bottle. He’s so beautiful, he literally makes me feel like I can’t breathe. There’s only one other person that has ever had this same effect on me and it’s his mother. The first time I saw her, she literally stole my breath and I was unable to speak a single word. I stood there, frozen in place, with a silly smirk on my face. After that introduction, I went to teach my first class of the semester and I was shocked and disappointed to find that she was one of my students. My attraction to her was so intense that the only way I got through that class was to treat her rather harshly. It was that or pull her out of her seat, drag her off to my office and bend her over my desk.

      I remove the bottle from his mouth and lean him over my shoulder and I pat his back as I make my way back to the dining room table. Thinking about how Shelby and I first met has made me want to be near her. As I’m almost to the doorway of the dining room, I can hear the conversation going on in my absence.

      “Too bad Jeff’s not Liam’s father. I can’t believe you screwed up so bad, Shelby.”

      “Aiden, I don’t remember asking you for your opinion. When I care what you think or want your advice, I’ll let you know.”

      “It’s just a shame that you messed up the good thing that you and Jeff had going. I was looking forward to him being my brother in law.”

      “Pfft, I’ll be sure to make all my romantic decisions from this point on based off of what’s best for you, Aiden.” I can hear the frustration in her voice. I know I shouldn’t be standing here listening, but I can’t very well walk in at this point.

      “Jeff was not the paragon of virtue that you all seem to think he was. He recently confessed to me that he was the one responsible for breaking Garrett and I up in the first place. As far as Liam is concerned, he got the best father he could have. Garrett is involved in every aspect of being his dad and I couldn’t be happier with the way things are going.” A large cheesy grin spreads across my face as I take in what she said. I’m glad to know that she thinks I’m doing a good job. I’m trying like hell.

      “So does this mean that you and Garrett are getting back together?” Her father asks.

      “No, it doesn’t mean that. I said he’s a great dad and he is. That doesn’t mean that we’re a couple or ever will be again. I think that right now I need to focus on being the best mother I can to Liam. Someday, when he’s a little older I can start to date again.”
Damn.
It’s painful to hear her dismiss us as a couple so quickly. I have to come up with some sort of a plan to make her see just how much we belong together. She seems to have forgotten and she needs a strong reminder.

      “Honey, why don’t you and Liam come and stay here with me for a few weeks? It’ll give me a chance to spend some time with you both and I know Rose would love to see you. She can help you with Liam and maybe you can get together with some of your old friends.”

      “I’ll think about it, Daddy.” My chest tightens at the thought of being separated from them for any amount of time. We’ve been spending every moment together since they came home from the hospital and I was hoping to continue on that way until she forced me to go back to my condo. I’m hoping that the more time we spend together, the more she would come to rely on me. That could go a long way toward rebuilding trust between us. I know that I’ve hurt her badly and then on top of that, finding out what Jeff did has to have shaken her confidence. She had trust issues when I first met her, but now they’re going to be so much worse.

Chapter Seventeen

Shelby

      We stayed at my father’s house for a couple more hours before Garrett drove the three of us home. The ride was uneventful and Liam slept for much of it. Once we got back to my apartment, I started right in on some laundry. Having a baby means washing clothes a lot more than I ever did before. Who would have ever thought that someone so tiny could cause so much work? He’s definitely worth it, though. He’s the best thing that ever happened to me.

      Once Liam went down for the night, Garrett and I decided to watch a movie. I’m already feeling drowsy so I let him choose. He flips through various channels before settling on the movie Rudy. I absolutely hate this movie.

      “Can you find something else to watch?” I ask in my sweetest voice. He looks at me before chanting “Rudy, Rudy, Rudy.” I kick him with the foot that’s resting closest to him on the couch.

      “Please don’t say that and change the channel quickly. I can’t bear to watch this movie. My brothers used to torment me with this. I’ve seen it over one hundred times and I’m not even exaggerating. I’ve kept track. I can recite every single line of this movie.”

      “Is it weird that it turns me on to know that you can do that? Say one of the lines for me.” He says and I emphatically shake my head no.

      “I bet I can make you say one.” He says cockily. I shake my head confident that it’ll never happen. He reaches over and starts to tickle my side and I shriek. I’m so ticklish, it’s ridiculous. He turns in my direction and leans over so he can torture me with both of his hands. I’m thrashing all around the couch and giggling uncontrollably.

      “Do you want me to stop? Say Rudy and I’ll stop. All you have to do is say one single word, Rudy.” I can’t take anymore. He’s going to make me pee myself soon.

      “Rudy, Rudy, Rudy,” I yell out. He immediately freezes his fingers, leaving his hands resting on my rib cage, just under my breasts. I somehow ended up laying down with him hovering over me. We both become cognizant of the precarious position we’re in at the same time. Before I have a chance to ask him to get off of me, he slides both of his hands up and cups my breasts in his palms. His thumbs brush both of my nipples into hard points and I close my eyes, getting lost in the pleasure his touch brings me. He raises my tank top slowly as he kisses his way up to my chest. When his tongue glides around my nipple, my hips reflexively lift, looking for any friction I can find. His lower body presses down on me, settling between my thighs until he’s pressing against the perfect spot. His hips begin to circle, grinding against me in the most excruciating way. He’s wearing basketball shorts and I can feel how rock hard he is through the thin cotton of my pj bottoms. His pelvis continues to move as he lowers his mouth to mine taking it in a passionate kiss. Our tongues circle each other as his hips continue their delicious torment, never easing up until I shudder through a mind numbing orgasm. I tear my lips from his, my breathing too labored to continue kissing him. I’m aware that he’s yet to be satisfied as I reach down and squeeze his length in my fist through his shorts. He groans and thrusts jerkily toward me. I grip both sides of his shorts and boxers and pull them over his hips, exposing his mouth watering cock to my view. I unconsciously lick my lips as I grip his ass and direct him toward my mouth. He moves forward to straddle my chest and slide between my wet parted lips. He gasps as he sinks further and further into my mouth until he’s pressing at the back of my throat.
“Fuck, Shelby. You’re like a dream.” He says as he pulls his hips back. The first few thrusts are slow and then he begins to move at a faster rate until he bathes the back of my throat with his warm release. His head is thrown back and his chest heaves with shallow breaths as he climbs off of me. He leans over and brushes my hair back from my forehead.

“That was beyond hot,” I smile up at him and nod my head, suddenly feeling unsure about what we just did.

***

      I get up in the morning after a mostly sleepless night spent thinking about what I should do moving forward. Having Garrett here all the time has been an enormous help, but it’s not practical or necessary. I’m fine to take care of Liam without assistance now. I feel good and my stomach is barely hurting at anymore. I know that Garrett won’t go home without a fight so I’ve decided to take my father up on his offer and go stay at his house for the next month. Now I just have to share this information with Garrett, and I know that he’s not going to be happy about it.

      After Liam has been up for a while and he’s had his bottle I put him on a blanket that’s spread out on the living room floor. He’s lying on his stomach and it’s amazing how well he can already hold his head up. I sit down on the floor next to the blanket and watch him as he wiggles around. Garrett sits down next to me and we continue watching Liam in silence. A few more minutes go by before I decide that now’s as good of time as any to break the news to him.

      “I wanted to talk to you about something,” I begin. “When we were at my father’s house yesterday he mentioned that he’d like me to come and stay with him for a while. I’ve decided to spend the next four weeks there.” I know he’s going to be upset about this so I take a peek at him out of the corner of my eye. His expression looks hard and I can tell he’s not happy about it.

      “It sounds like you’re telling me you’re going, instead of asking me if it’s okay.” He says.

      “I am telling you. Why would I ask for your permission, Garrett? Last time I checked, I was an adult and I don’t have to answer to anyone else.” I cross my arms over my chest and wait to hear what he’s going to say next.

      “Have you forgotten that I’m Liam’s father and I should have a say in where he spends the next month?”

      “I didn’t list you on the birth certificate, Garrett. That means that you have no rights as his father aside from the ones I give you.” He runs his fingers through his hair angrily.

      “I’m sure the courts would look at things differently, Shelby. Do we need to go that route or can we work things out in a civil manner?” I open my mouth to reply, but he continues on before I have a chance.

      “You can go stay with your father as long as I can come spend each weekend with Liam. I’ll stay in a hotel if you prefer. It really doesn’t matter to me, as long as I get to spend time with him.” I’m not dissatisfied with his proposal. It seems fair and it’s not like we don’t have the extra space at my father’s house. There are four guest rooms that no one ever uses. He can have his pick of them.

***

      I’ve been at my father’s house for four days now and it’s been wonderful to spend time with him and I’ve also been able to see quite a bit of Rose. She even kicked me out of the house the other day and made me go shopping without Liam. It felt so strange to be away from him, but there isn’t anyone I’d trust more to watch him than Rose. She had a hand in raising my brothers and me after my mother passed and she’s raised her own family too. Liam already seems to adore her. He looks up at her with his big eyes that seem to appear to be changing from that murky color that newborns have to a more hazelish hue. I hope he ends up with Garrett’s eye color. His are so gorgeous and they’re one of the first things I noticed about him.

      It’s now late afternoon on Friday and Garrett should be arriving at any time now. We haven’t really spoken much since I’ve been here. We’ve exchanged some texts and a couple of very brief, stilted phone conversations, but that’s all. I get the impression that he’s still angry with me for my impromptu visit, but he’s going to have to get over it. I’m happy with the decision I made and it’s given me some well-needed space from him. I’ve been able to do some soul searching and to process all that’s gone on in the past few weeks.

      I’m only just now starting to deal with the huge loss of not having Jeff in my life any longer. I miss him so much and I think about him all the time. I’m even surprised at how devastated I am over our final split. I knew it would be difficult, but I didn’t realize the magnitude my heart would ache for him or how much my body would still crave his touch. I wonder if he’s feeling the same way as I am or if he’s relieved to finally be rid of me and all the drama I bring to the table. I hope he’s doing well. Maybe he’s already moving on with someone else...
God, I hope not.
I know I have no right to feel like that, but I can’t help it. I still feel such a proprietary right to him and the thought of him being intimate with anyone else makes my stomach turn. I do realize that sooner or later I’ll have to come to grips with the reality of him spending the rest of his life with some other woman. She’ll be the luckiest lady in the world. I’m getting choked up as I think about it. I’ve wanted to call him just to hear his voice again and to tell him how much I miss him, but I know that would be extremely selfish of me. He made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to hear from me ever again and the brutal reality of that is devastating.

      I’m sitting in the kitchen nursing my little guy and keeping Rose company as she cooks dinner. Garrett unexpectedly walks into the room and makes a beeline for Liam. His whole face lights up as he catches sight of our son. I can’t help but smile at the pure joy I see radiating from him.

      “Hi,” he addresses me before leaning down to kiss Liam on top of his head. “How’s my big boy doing? Do you know how much your daddy missed you?” Liam lets go of my nipple and gives Garrett a big open mouthed smile. “Are you happy to see your daddy?” He asks and once again Liam smiles at him.

      “How was the drive?” I ask, trying to ease some of the awkwardness between us.

      “It wasn’t too bad. I hit a little traffic, but nothing much.”

I wipe Liam’s face clean of breast milk and kiss him on his tiny little nose.

      “Would you like to burp him?” I ask Garrett.

      “Yes, I would. Give me my boy. I’ve missed him so much.” His tone of voice sounds off as if he’s emotionally overwhelmed. Before I know it, he has Liam out of my arms. I laugh because I can tell how eager he was to hold him and it’s very apparent how much he missed him. He lays him over his shoulder and rubs his back as I pull my shirt down.

      “Have a seat,” I say nodding to the chair next to mine. He sits down next to me as he begins to pat Liam on the back, trying to urge the gas bubbles from him. It only takes a minute before he burps loudly.

      “You sound just like your mommy when she burps.” Rose laughs as I nudge Garrett’s leg with my toe.

      “You know I’ve been thinking that you guys should make plans to go out to dinner tomorrow night and I’ll babysit for you,” Rose suggests. I look at Garrett to see his reaction, but he seems completely entranced with Liam.

      “What do you think Garrett?” I ask. “Should we go out or just stay here? I’m fine with whatever you say, but keep in mind that Rose is the only person aside from you or I that I completely trust to watch Liam. I don’t know when we’ll get this opportunity again.”

      “I’m fine with going out, but I don’t want to leave until we put him down for the night. I’m here to see him so I want to make sure that I’m spending as much time as possible with him.”

      “I agree. We can figure out where we want to go tomorrow.”

***

      It’s the following night and we just put Liam down in his crib. I’m putting the finishing touches on my makeup as Garrett wraps up his shower in one of the guest baths. He’s spending the weekend in one of my father’s guest rooms. Of course, he wouldn’t make him stay in a hotel. Especially when his main reason for being here is to see his son.

      We meet up in the nursery where Liam is sleeping. Both of us wanting a final glimpse of him before we head out. As I glance around the space, I’m still amazed at the room my dad and Rose prepared for him. It’s painted sky blue with white trim and the theme is airplanes. The decor is great because he won’t outgrow it for a long time. The well-constructed furniture is darkly stained and it looks great against the blue of the walls. There are two large windows that let in lots of light when the curtains are open wide. It’s a happy space and he’ll enjoy spending time here as he grows up.

      We stand there in silence, listening to the even sounds of Liam breathing. I caress his light, silky blonde, fuzz-covered head and smile at how adorable he is. He’s lying on his side and his head is thrown back so far it looks like it’s resting on his shoulders. Rose said that I used to do the same thing when I was a baby. He’s wrapped up snugly in a blanket and he looks so cuddly it’s all I can do to keep myself from picking him up. I want to feel his warm, solid little body against my chest as I hold him close. I’m debating with myself, wondering if we should even be going out. I glance over at Garrett, beside me and he looks pensive. I wonder if he’s having the same doubts about leaving as I am. I’m just about to ask him if he would prefer to stay home when Rose walks in.

      “Oh no, I know what’s going on here. Don’t even think of staying home. Get out of here now, shoo,” she gestures with her hands. I smile and shake my head at her impeccable timing. If she had waited any longer, I would’ve made the decision to stay in.

      Garrett gently touches my arm and I turn my head to look at him. 

      “Are you sure that you want to do this? I’m fine with staying here if that’s what you really want to do.” I know that Liam couldn’t possibly be in better hands and we should take advantage of this opportunity no matter how difficult it is to leave him.