The Mason List (11 page)

“I know. 
I’m keepin’ that promise too.”  Grabbing my hand, he pulled me toward our spot
on the bridge.  “No more fightin’.”

Settling
next to him, I let my gray canvas shoes dangle over the edge.  I watched as
Jess dropped the remaining fireworks into the water.  Tonight felt like the end
of an era in some ways.  It was only a matter of time before his promise wore
thin, like when the teenage boy got a driver’s license and an interest in girls
like Ashley.  Despite his grand speech, my chest carried a heavy feeling that
wouldn’t lift.  I was afraid of losing him; even though he really wasn’t mine
to keep.

“Wait,"
I grabbed his arm to stop the next firework.  I pointed up at the shooting
star.  It flashed through the sky, leaving a trail of dust.  Alone in the
middle of the night, the moment felt magical and surreal like our very own
show.

“What’d
you wish for?” his deep voice asked next to me.

“I can’t
tell you.”

“Will you
tell me if it comes true?” he grinned.

“Only if
you tell me yours.”

“Maybe I
didn’t make a wish.”

“But I
know you always do, Jess,” I smirked at him.  His pink lips puckered up for a
moment in thought and the bright eyes became a little serious.  The seemed a
darker blue tonight.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’,”
he said, shaking his head, making the dark hair flop across his forehead.  “You
ready to head back?”

“Sure,
but I’m driving.”

“Can I
trust you with my stolen Jeep.”

“You’re
going to say that after the drive out here?”  I reached over and pulled the key
chain from his pocket.  Jess twisted me back against the dirty bridge.  His
body pinned me down as he bent my arm sideways to pull the keys away.

“Mercy,
ok,
mercy
!”

Laughing
down in my face, he handed them back.  “Go get it started.”

“You play
dirty, you know.”

“I know.”
He winked and then rolled off the top of me.

I climbed
up the embankment, excited for the open road.  Firing up the ignition, the
radio blasted a twangy song I recognized by Tim McGraw.  I shuddered, hearing
something about girls being rain.  I worked the dial, trying to find something
else the old Jeep could play on the ancient speakers.

“What are
you doin’?” Jess asked, getting in the passenger side.  His hand reached over
for the dial.

“Ah, no,
you stay on your side of the car.”

“You’re
not drivin’ if you make me listen to that angry girl shit again.”

“Shut
up.  Ok…this is good,” I said, smiling sweetly back at him. 

The drums
pounded.  I slung my head back and forth to the hard beat of the Foo Fighters. 
The music had the power to open up every bit of reserve, letting me belt out
the first line.  I pulled the Jeep off the embankment and peeled out on the
dirt road to home.

“Geez,
you sound terrible.  You need to just stick to drawin’ stuff.” 

“You
really want to provoke the driver?” 

“What the
hell is this?”

“
My
Hero
.”

“What? 
You said I’m your hero?”

“Shut
up.  It’s the Foo Fighters.”

“Your
Kung Foo music is gonna wake up half the countryside.”

“It’s Foo
Fighters!”  I shouted over Dave Grohl’s gravelly voice.  Turning toward Jess, I
caught him swinging his arms around in karate chops.  His hands twisted and
slapped through the air just to piss me off.

“I hate
you sometimes, Jess Mason.”

“I know,”
he grinned.  Shaking my head, I turned back to face the road.  A pair of glassy
eyes reflected back in the headlights.

I
screamed
. 
Yanking the steering wheel to the right, I swerved trying to avoid the deer. 
The back tires fishtailed on the gravel to the left.  My fingers dug hard into
the wheel, pulling it back straight, but the unstable dirt pushed the Jeep off
the road.

The hood
went through the barbed wire fence.  The metal spikes grated into the paint,
bursting apart as they came in contact with the glass.  The Jeep flew through
the Johnson grass and slammed into a tree.

The
impact propelled my body forward, only to be yanked back by the seat belt.  I
couldn’t breathe; my lungs crushed from the shoulder strap.  Coughing and
gasping, I panicked, “
Jess…Jess!
”

I
couldn’t remember if he fastened his seat belt.  Dust floated in a light mist
around the Jeep.  My terrified eyes found Jess strapped into the passenger
side.  The electric guitar crackled through the speakers with the pounding
drums.  My heart accelerated with the sound of the Foo Fighters still screaming
in the car.  I couldn’t breathe.

Jess reached
down and turned off the blaring radio.  The Jeep went eerie silent in the dark
night.  I couldn’t speak as I watched Jess's lips say words I couldn’t hear. 
Slowly, his voice came into focus, “It’s ok.  It’s gonna be ok.” 

My
white-knuckles were still clenching the wheel.  He reached over and pulled them
away.  “Are you hurt?”

“I…I…don’t
think…so,” I mumbled back.  One minute we were arguing about music and then we
almost… I couldn’t even process the thought.  I almost killed Jess.

“Ok…let’s…umm…just
get out,” Jess said, unlatching his shoulder trap.

My hands
were shaking and I couldn’t work the buckle.  I couldn’t breathe.  My chest
hurt from the bruise forming across my body.

“I got
it.” Jess came over to the driver side, setting me free. 

Swinging
my legs down, I climbed out into the grass.  My knees gave out.  He slipped an
arm around my waist as we staggered to the front to see the damage.  It was a
tough old car made of solid metal, but the impact smashed all the way through
the bumper and into the hood.  The top was buckled up like a crunched can.

“It’s
bad,” I muttered.

“I know,
but I think I can get it backed out of here.”  He turned and looked at me with
a frown. “You sure you’re ok?”

“I
guess.”

“Ok, then
let’s go.”

Jess
walked with me to the passenger side.  Crawling up in the seat, he latched the
seat belt across my shoulder.  I moaned, feeling the band cut into my throbbing
chest.

“You
sure?” The blue eyes stared into mine.

“Yes,” I
whispered. “I just want to go home.”

“Ok. 
I’ll get you there.  Hold on.”  Jess jumped in the driver seat.  He fired up
the ignition, putting the Jeep in reverse, but the tires spun with each touch
to the petal. 

“It’s
stuck, isn’t it?”

“No, I’ll
get us out…just gonna take a bit.” 

Jess
floored the gas, making the car shake.  He eased up and tried again.  The Jeep
lurched sideways, spinning away from the tree.  We pulled out on the road and
headed toward the old farmhouse.  Jess drove slowly.  The cab rocked back and
forth from the frame damage.  The movement made me nauseous.  I sucked in
another gulp of painful air.

“It’s
after three,” I said quietly. “What are we going to do?” 

“Well,
I’m gonna drop you off and then try to get this thing back in the barn.”

“We have
to tell somebody,” I pleaded.  I figured we needed to wake somebody up when we
got back to the ranch.

“We ain’t
tellin’ anyone anythin’ tonight.”

“They
have to know what I did.” 

“You
didn’t do anythin’.”

“Jess,
they will know.  The Jeep’s messed up bad.”

“Yeah, I
know.  They’re gonna find out but it ain’t gonna be like this.”

“What are
you saying?” 

“I’ve got
this, Alex.  You’re not involved.  You weren’t here.”

“You’re
not taking the blame for this.” 

“Yes, I
am.  I’m gonna keep the keys.  They won’t notice the front if I park it just
right.  Then tomorrow, I’ll take it out on the meadow.”  I saw him swallow hard
and grit his jaw. 

“And
what?  Run it into a tree?  No, Jess!  This is crazy!  Just let me tell them
what happened.”

“Your dad
will kill you and then he’ll kill me for takin’ you out here.  It won’t be as
bad if they think I did it on the ranch durin’ the day.  But if they find out
we ran through the Nelson’s fence in the middle of the night?  Ain’t either us
gonna live through that one.  So just let me fix it, ok?

“I don’t
like this.”  The nausea rolled around in the pit of my stomach.  The Jeep
crashed once and we survived, but Jess was going to crash it again on purpose.
My stomach twisted, spinning bile up into my throat, “Oh crap.  I’m gonna be
sick.”

Leaning
over the side, I puked as we rounded one of the curves.  Bits of vomit flew out
past the door in the darkness.

“Want me
to stop?”

“No, just
go.”  I waved my hand forward.  “I just want to go home.”

We
reached my house, and I climbed down from the Jeep.  It took every bit of
control not to cry out in pain.  Jess followed me down the road to the
farmhouse.  Reaching down, he tried to help me up in the window, but I grabbed
Jess in a fierce hug.  His arms circled around my bruised body.  He felt solid;
he felt safe.  The hot, summer night made my skin sweaty, but I didn’t care.  I
clung to Jess, refusing to let go. 

“I’m ok,”
he whispered in my ear.

“I almost
killed you.”

“Then I
guess we’re even.”

“That’s
not funny.”  I squeezed harder, my fingers digging into his skin.

“Nothin’
is gonna happen to me,” he whispered.  “I’m invincible.”

Chapter 17

Today,
11:08 p.m.

The
beauty queen enters the hospital room, carrying two towels and a bottle of
fancy shampoo.  My father uses her arrival as an excuse to walk toward the
door.  My hands shake, seeing him leave.

“Where
are you going?”

“I’m
going to get you some food.” 

“I’m not
hungry.”

“You need
to eat.  All I’ve seen you do is throw up the last six hours.”  His sad eyes
glance toward me and back to her.  “I won’t go very far.”

As he
leaves, I look at the blonde in the corner.  She smiles, faintly as her lips
sparkle with a light coat of gloss.  “You ready for a shower?”  

I shrug
and glance down at my pants.  Chills shoot up on my arms at the sight of the
stains.  I want those jeans burned in a trash can.  I slid off the bed, feeling
my wobbly legs collapse.  She wraps an arm around my lanky body.   I could
crush her in one swoop, but she holds on with a tight grasp.  Without a word, I
let the beauty queen take me to the shower.  I lean against the sink while she
turns on the water and sets up the little handheld nozzle. 

“Can you
do this by yourself or do you want me to help?”  Her mascara-coated lashes
blink in my direction, waiting for a response.  She must have applied new makeup
when she got the shampoo.  “I do this all the time.  I mean, the hospital
stuff…seeing people naked.”

I should
care about this strange course of events, but I’m too tired to think straight. 
“I…I…don’t want to keep you here.  Don’t you need to go home?”

“It’s ok,
really.” 

I nod
back in submission.  She smiles again, this time almost apologetic.  I cringe,
feeling her hands unbutton the front of my blue, plaid shirt.  Every moment of
today, was a page right out of a chapter from hell.

A tan bra
covers my chest.  The fabric is marked in black stains that soaked through my
shirt.   A tear rolls down my cheek and lands next to one of the spots.  She
pauses for a moment, glancing up with something that resembles compassion.

“I’m a
little dizzy,” I mutter, turning my head away.

“It’s the
drugs they gave you.”

“Are they
safe?  I mean…um…I think they gave me a lot.”

She stops
for a moment and looks me in the eye.  “Yeah.”

“Ok.”  I
swallow hard, trying to keep my stomach in check.  She moves to the front of my
jeans.  I hold onto her shoulders as I step out of the disgusting pants.  I
smell rancid.  It wafts up, making me dry heave.

“You need
a pan, Alex?”

“No,” I
take a deep breath, closing my eyes.  Her fingers slip my stained bra off my
shoulders.  My white boy shorts follow over my thighs.  Standing naked and
vulnerable in front of this woman, I open my eyes to see her calm face.  I
swallow the bile back down my throat.

“Let’s
get you in.” 

I sit on
the built-in seat used for old people.  She soaks my skin with the spray wand. 
I scrub my arms and legs as a dark trail disappears into the drain.  The beauty
queen lathers up shampoo and rubs it into my scalp.  The floor fills with foamy
dried blood. 

“The
little girl earlier,” I ask as a distraction.  “Is she your daughter?”

“Yeah,
that’s Corrie.  She’s four.”

“Did she
go home?”

“Yeah, my
mother stopped by to get me after my shift.  Corrie stays with her when I’m at
work.”

“That’s
nice.  Where um, is her father?”

Her
fingers pause for a moment before she answers.  “He didn’t want her.”

“Must be
hard.”

“I don’t
complain much.  I can’t imagine my life without Corrie.  I guess the hard part
is rememberin’ what it was like before she existed.”

“I guess
life works that way, doesn’t it.” I mutter.

“Yeah, it
does,” her eyes catch mine.  “Come on.  Let’s get you out.”  She turns off the
water and wraps one of the towels around my red hair.   Taking the other one,
the beauty queen dabs the soft fabric down my skin.  Yes, today was a page
right out a chapter from hell.