The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (38 page)

We always use a condom if I’m going to deep-throat him because I found that his sperm spurting into the back of my throat made me choke. His ejaculations are usually quite powerful and prolific.

Sixty-Nine

This is the popular term for simultaneous mutual oral sex. The term derives from the fact that a six looks like an upside-down nine and vice versa. In a sixty-nine position, you and your partner lie side by side facing each other’s feet, or one of you lies on your back with the other kneeling above facing the prone partner’s feet. The notion of arranging yourself in an unbroken circle with your mouth on your partner’s genitals and his or her mouth on yours is unquestionably an appealing one.

I like to fantasize about sixty-nine a lot if a particular guy has hold of my heartstrings…that always seems so loving and mutually giving and incredibly intimate.

It’s wonderful to be falling into someone else’s cunt while my own is also being stimulated.

Sixty-nine is my absolute favorite. Being eaten while returning the favor with two naked bodies touching is the most intimate and intense experience.

Sixty-nine all the way—mmm-mm-mmm. I prefer it over just having my man go down on me. My partner is most often on top of me, and I am underneath with his luscious dick in my mouth. It makes me twitch even thinking about it.

My number-one favorite activity is sixty-nine—it fills a lot of cravings all at once, i.e., to suck cock, to be sucked, and to be in close physical coupling with my partner. It’s wonderful as a mutually narcissistic circuit of oral nurturing and trusting masculinity.

For every individual who swears by sixty-nine, there’s one who finds this technique overrated. It’s difficult to concentrate on orally teasing and tantalizing your partner while your own genitals are flooded with pleasurable sensations. Most of us find that sexual arousal is accompanied by a certain amount of heavy breathing and increased muscle tension. It’s hard to maintain a rhythmic tonguing of your partner’s clitoris or to refrain from scraping your teeth across your partner’s penis if you’re trembling on the brink of orgasm yourself.

Sixty-nine is too confusing for me…I forget to hold up my end of the bargain.

Sixty-nine is, for me, overrated, since one or the other partner is distracted.

Sixty-nine is all right once in a while for variety, but I like taking turns better than doing oral sex simultaneously. I like to focus either on pleasing my partner or on being pleased.

But by all means, don’t let this discourage you from experimenting with mutual oral pleasuring. You may well wish to incorporate sixty-nine as part of your sex play without focusing on it as a means of reaching orgasm.

I prefer to either receive or give oral sex, not both simultaneously, but I also don’t turn down an offer of sixty-nine!

Tips and Techniques

Playing with temperature is a tried-and-true method of enhancing oral sex. You might want to try holding a small ice cube in your mouth while you run your tongue up and down your partner’s penis. Or you could apply ice to your partner’s clitoris and then warm her back up with your mouth. Similarly, some folks drink hot fluids before wrapping their mouths around their partner’s penis or clitoris. Blowing on your partner’s genitals up close creates a warm rush of sensation, while blowing or fanning the genitals from six inches away creates a cool, tingling sensation. Another popular way to play with temperature—which got an unprecedented publicity boost from coverage of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky’s affair—is to suck on breath mints or mentholated cough drops while going down on your partner.

When giving head, an Altoid works wonders. It gives him a totally new sensation and it helps keeps my mouth “juicy.”

Many sex toy businesses sell a variety of flavored gels for enhancing oral sex. These gels usually come in two varieties: those that generate heat and those that numb sensation. The former usually contain either glycerin or essential oils such as cinnamon, peppermint, or clove oil. When you apply these gels to the surface of your skin and blow softly, warmth spreads over the skin. The latter frequently contain benzocaine or other mild anesthetics. The pleasure of using these numbing gels lies in feeling sensation flood back into your genitals as the anesthetic wears off. While these gels can be safely applied and licked off a penis or clitoris, women should be careful not to get these products inside the vagina. Essential oils and anesthetics are potentially irritating to delicate mucous membranes. The licker should also bear in mind that his or her mouth will get quite numb.

Those people who’d rather stick to food and drink, which don’t contain artificial ingredients, may enjoy licking whipped cream, chocolate sauce, or berries off each other’s bodies. (If you’re using latex barriers for safer sex, do abstain from using food products containing oils, which destroy latex.) Whether you prefer your oral sex au natural or à la mode is entirely up to you.

I once had a banana inserted and eaten out of me—fabulous!

We use chocolate sauce quite a lot on his naked penis—it makes sperm swallowing more palatable, as the taste of the chocolate does mask the taste of the sperm. We also squeeze chocolate sauce over my clitoris so he can lick it off.

One of my best lovemaking memories is of the time I had jam licked off my clit, a full wine bottle inserted in my cunt, wine poured in, and then my lover drank the wine out of my cunt.

Rimming

This is the popular term for oral-anal stimulation. Licking, kissing, and tonguing the anus are also referred to as “analingus.” The whole notion of rimming is highly charged for many people, and even those who are comfortable with oral-genital sex can find themselves repelled by oral-anal sex. The opposing points of view about rimming can basically be summed up as: “Why would I want to lick the orifice that feces come out of?” and “Why wouldn’t I want my anus to get the same loving attention as any other erogenous zone?” After all, the anus is highly sensitive and loaded with nerve endings, and there is no question that, physiologically speaking, it feels as good to have your anus kissed as to have your mouth kissed.

Rimming is a special treat and only happens once in a while by “accident.” My current partner thought it was disgusting until I did her and she came big time. She refuses to talk about it.

If you follow basic hygienic precautions, you should feel free to enjoy the pleasures of rimming. The risks involved in ingesting feces include contracting hepatitis A or intestinal parasites. While early AIDS researchers grouped rimming under high-risk activities for transmission of HIV, this classification is now considered debatable. Given that feces are stored in the colon, and do not pass through the rectum or anus until just before defecation, it’s unlikely you’d encounter more than traces of feces in your partner’s anus. You may be inspired to bathe together before embarking on a rimming episode, but bath or no bath, you should seriously consider using a barrier of some sort between the mouth and anus. Dental dams (small squares of latex), cut-open condoms or latex gloves, and Saran Wrap are all considered acceptable barriers. If you aren’t using a barrier, you should never lick your partner’s anus and then move to kiss her vagina or his mouth. Licking from the anus to the vagina or from the anus to the mouth can transmit feces—and therefore infection—from one orifice to another.

Once you’ve taken the hygienic precautions you feel necessary, and your tongue is poised over your partner’s anus, what shall you do? You can circle the anus with your tongue; flutter your tongue against the anal opening; lick, suck, or slip your tongue into the anus. Our anuses are the seat of so much tension that any kind of tender tonguing will doubtless feel extremely relaxing and pleasurable to your partner.

I love being on my knees, ass held high, while she works my ass with her tongue. Not so much thrusting, but teasing, flicking, licking. Luckily all of my girlfriends, save for one, liked to eat my ass.

Safer Sex

While we’ve made several mentions of safer-sex precautions throughout this chapter, we’ll close with a more detailed summary of current findings and opinions regarding risk management in oral sex.

Hepatitis

As noted above, it’s possible to transmit hepatitis A through unprotected oral-anal contact, and we highly recommend that rimming fans get vaccinated against hepatitis A. Hepatitis B, a far more serious illness, can certainly be transmitted through unprotected oral sex, as the virus is contained in saliva, semen, vaginal secretions, and blood. If you are infected with hepatitis B, please use a barrier for oral sex. If you’ve never been infected, consider getting vaccinated. While hepatitis C is transmitted via blood-to-blood contact and is therefore not generally classified as an STD, oral sex could provide opportunities for blood contact, and folks with hepatitis C should practice safer sex.

Herpes

This is a virus that’s easily transmitted via unprotected oral-genital contact. Oral herpes (cold sores) can be transmitted to the genitals, and genital herpes can be transmitted to the mouth. You should never have unprotected oral sex if you or your partner are having an outbreak. Furthermore, it’s possible to transmit herpes asymptomatically, that is to say, even when you aren’t experiencing an active outbreak. Consider using a dental dam, a cut-open condom or latex glove, or Saran Wrap as a barrier during oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex. And use condoms during fellatio. It’s a good idea to forego fellatio during a herpes outbreak, as herpes sores can cluster at the base of the penis or on the testicles, where a condom would not cover them.

Bacterial STDs

Chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis are bacterial sexually transmitted diseases that can all be treated with antibiotics. It’s unlikely for chlamydia to be transmitted during oral sex, but both gonorrhea and syphilis can be transmitted via oral-genital contact. Folks being treated for these infections should not have unprotected oral sex until the infection is resolved.

HIV

Currently, oral sex is considered to be a fairly low-risk activity with regard to the transmission of HIV, as there have only been a handful of cases in which oral sex was the proven means of transmission. There is, however, simply no such thing as “absolutely safe sex,” and we hope you will weigh all the relevant information to decide what precautions are appropriate to take.

HIV is contained in the semen, blood, and vaginal fluids of those infected with the virus. While it’s present in trace quantities in sweat, saliva, urine, and tears, there’s no evidence that it can be transmitted by these fluids (unfortunately, we don’t know of any studies of whether HIV is present in female ejaculate). Blood, including menstrual blood, contains HIV in much higher concentration than vaginal fluids, and therefore it is riskier to come into contact with your female partner’s menstrual blood than it is to contact her vaginal secretions. There’s some debate as to whether an HIV-infected woman has ever transmitted the virus to a partner through oral sex alone. Enzymes in the mouth of healthy people are known to kill viruses as delicate as HIV. However, if you have open sores in your mouth or even tiny cuts in your gums from brushing your teeth or flossing, and you go down on a person with HIV, it’s conceivable that the virus could enter your bloodstream. So save your dental hygiene routine for
after
sex. Allowing your male partner to ejaculate in your mouth is a higher-risk activity than his withdrawing before ejaculating. However, the risk that an HIV-infected individual could transmit the virus by going down on a partner is slight.

What to Do

None of the above information need stop you from enjoying safe and pleasurable oral sex. A variety of latex and plastic barriers are available to protect the mucous membranes of one partner’s mouth from contacting the mucous membranes of the other partner’s genitals. Dental dams are one type of latex barrier that can be used during oral-vaginal or oral-anal sex. On the plus side, dams are available in different scents: bubble gum, vanilla, or wintergreen, for example, and creative people have been known to wear them in place over their genitals by using a leather harness or a garter belt. On the minus side, dams are only six inches square, thick, and unwieldy—after all, they were designed for use during oral surgery, not for use in the bedroom.

Fortunately, sex-positive entrepreneurs have stepped into the breach to devise alternatives: Glyde brand dams are larger (about six by ten inches) and thinner than dental dams, yet equally strong—and they come in vanilla and berry scents. Lixx dams (about six by eight inches) are also designed especially for oral sex and come in vanilla and strawberry scents. Good Vibrations sells large sheets of thin latex (about eight by twelve inches) as well as disposable latex panties. Other options include cutting open a condom or latex glove or using large sheets of Saran Wrap. Condoms, gloves, and Saran Wrap are thinner and transmit sensation better than dental dams do. In 1993, the FDA tested Saran Wrap for its permeability and found that it was effective in halting the transmission of virus-sized particles. Synthetic latex, or Nitrile, dams are also available for the estimated 2 to 4 percent of the population with latex allergies.

Whatever barrier method you use, be sure to put some lubricant on the side of the barrier pressed against your partner’s genitals. This will enhance the sensations received through the latex or plastic. Using barriers during oral sex can add a whole new array of tricks to your repertoire. If you stretch a dam tightly across your partner’s genitals, pucker your lips, and suck in a little bubble of rubber directly over her clit, you can create a stimulating vacuum-suction effect. Needless to say, it’s also extremely liberating to lick freely back and forth between your partner’s vagina and anus without feeling restricted by hygienic considerations.