The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex (34 page)

There are numerous books and videos about sensual massage, offering detailed descriptions and illustrations of dozens of strokes. Since most folks just want to know where and how to begin, we’ll explain some very simple strokes that can be adapted to suit your needs. Let your imagination run wild. Take any one of the following strokes and modify it slightly, using your fingertips, fingernails, palms, back of your hands, knuckles, heels of your hands, and thumbs; or try varying the pressure, speed, or direction of your stroke—each will evoke a different sensation. The point is to discover what movements feel best so that you can use them to please your partner in the future. And by all means start with a little massage oil; it adds a pleasant smoothness to your strokes, and the warmth and aroma can be a subtle aphrodisiac.

Full Body

I find gentle strokes and gentle kisses all over my body very enjoyable. It’s all about lying back and being pampered. Some areas of my skin, like my neck, back, and sides, are very sensitive.

Here is a superb way to begin and end your massage: With your partner face down, arms at her or his sides, position yourself at your partner’s feet. Place one of your hands on each of your partner’s hands and travel lightly up the arms, around the shoulders, and then straight down the body all the way to the feet, ending at the toes. Don’t remove your hands, but follow the same path now in the opposite direction. Try this stroke several times, gradually adding more pressure. When it’s time for your partner to turn over, repeat the same stroke on her or his front side.

Fanning

Place palms side by side on the skin. Simultaneously fan each hand out about ninety degrees, then slide them gently up or down; bring hands back together and repeat the motion. The pressure should come from the heel of each hand or the thumbs (or both), while your fingers will feel great grazing over the skin on the back, butt, abdomen, thighs, and breasts. This stroke feels particularly good if you stand at the head, start low on the spine, and move upward. When your hands reach the top of the spine, separate them and apply pressure from the palms as you travel outward along the shoulders.

Pulling

Stand (or sit) on one side of your partner and place your hands next to each other along your partner’s opposite side (fingers pointing toward bed) and pull them up toward your partner’s spine (or belly, if partner is on back), alternating each hand. As one hand pulls, the other slides back down. Try this on a woman who’s on her back; you’re moving up from the stomach toward the armpit. As your hands approach the breast, slide lightly over the nipple with your palm. This is also an excellent stroke for the thighs, starting at the knees and moving away from the feet. As you work up the inside of the thigh, approaching the butt, the pulling motion tugs on the genitals, which can be quite arousing.

Kneading

Work your hands as if you were gently kneading bread dough (a kind of push/pull motion) and continue as you move up along a large stretch of skin. This stroke feels great along more sensitive areas, particularly the backs of legs, inner thighs, arms, and butt.

Thumbs

With your thumb at a right angle to your fingers, place your hands at the base of the spine with your thumbs pointing at each other. Press down with your thumbs and glide slowly up the spine. Try this on the arms and legs as well. Modify this stroke by pressing each thumb in turn, or by rotating them in a circular motion. The focused, direct pressure afforded by thumbs makes them ideal for hand, foot, and face massages. When massaging the face, apply gentle pressure, starting in the middle of the face and sliding toward the outside. For example, place your thumbs where your partner’s eyebrows connect and move toward the temples, or start on the nose bridge and travel down under the eyes toward the ears.

I love massage that includes having my hair and face stroked.

Butt

Seated at your partner’s feet, place one hand on each butt cheek and slide your hands up and down in opposite directions. Kneading or dragging your fingers lightly across the butt can also feel good, as can light slapping.

Breasts

Don’t ignore the breasts if you are doing a full-body massage (unless, of course, your partner asks you to avoid them). If you’re seated at your partner’s head, place your hands next to each other on the stomach and slide them up between the breasts. Circle the breasts with your hands, then draw them back down the outside. Repeat this motion several times, allowing your palms or thumbs to cover more of the breast area each time.

Place a hand over each breast so that the nipple touches the center of your palm. Spread your fingers as if they were the spokes of a wheel, and as you pull your hand up and off the breast, let your fingers graze the skin until they approach the nipple. You may want to finish the stroke with a light pinch.

I think massage is great as long as I get my nipples played with.

I enjoy stroking my partner all over her belly, breasts, ass, and mons. I love fat women and enjoy kneading and sucking my lover’s heavy, soft breasts and large belly.

This is one of the most wonderful sexual experiences I’ve had in my life. I had stupidly gone without a bra all day and my nipples were sore by the time my lover and I got home. He massaged them with moisturizer and then moved on to a full-body massage. It was great because it was much slower and more gentle than usual.

Genitals

If you’ve ever watched closely when your partner masturbates, you’ve had the best possible instruction for genital massage. You’ve seen what kind of stimulation feels good on certain areas. Use this as the starting point from which to further explore other pleasurable sensations.

While you may wish to continue using oil during genital massage, please note that some oils, particularly scented ones, can cause an allergic reaction when they come into contact with mucous membranes. If you are sensitive, try testing a small amount first, or consider using a water-based lubricant instead. Also, a note about safer-sex massage: While massage in general is considered a very low risk activity, the risk increases if there’s a chance that blood, vaginal secretions, or semen will come in contact with broken skin or mucous membranes. You may want to use a rubber glove during a genital massage along with a water-based lubricant (oil will break down rubber), or to place a condom over the penis.

Here are a few areas you’d do well to include:

ON WOMEN

The labia:
With your partner on her back, place a well-oiled (or -lubed) hand over her labia, fingers pointing toward her anus. Pull up toward the navel and alternate hands, always keeping one hand on the body.

Explore the inner and outer lips with your fingers. Pull gently on one and then the other and work your way down the right side, then switch to the left. Rub the outer lips gently between your forefinger and thumb, then the inner lips while applying varying degrees of pressure and asking your partner which feels the best. Starting at the perineum, place your forefinger between the inner and outer labia and trace a clockwise pattern up and around the clitoris.

The clitoris:
Encircle the head of the clitoris during a stroke that takes you up the length of the inner lip and around the head of the clitoris. Try not to touch the clitoris directly (as most women find this too intense), but run your fingers over the clitoral hood. Remember to maintain a fluid, continuous motion and repeat these strokes several times.

The vagina:
Circle the outer edge of the vagina several times and then pop in a finger or two and let it rest a moment. Then explore the vaginal walls by stroking or applying pressure, asking for your partner’s feedback.

The anus:
Lightly circle the rim of the anus.

The perineum:
Lightly massage or apply pressure to the area between the anus and the vagina with one hand while you explore her vulva with the other.

My boyfriend gives the most awesome PUSSY MASSAGES with lube! It gets me so HOT!

ON MEN

The penis and scrotum:
With your partner on his back, place a well-oiled (or -lubed) hand over his penis and scrotum, fingers pointing toward the anus. Work your palm up toward the navel, sliding along the penis and gently pressing the penis against his stomach. Try alternating hands with each stroke and slowly massaging the penis around the body in a clockwise motion. Another technique involves forming a ring around the scrotum with your forefinger and thumb and gently pulling his balls away from the body while stroking the penis in an upward motion. You can also leave the penis for a while and gently massage the testicles in this position.

The shaft:
Try anchoring the skin at the base of the penis with two fingers of one hand and stroking upward with the other hand. Or cup one hand around the base of the penis and begin to slowly slide upward. When you reach the head, finish the stroke with a twisting motion. As your hand gets near the head of the penis, place your other hand at the base of the penis and begin the same motion. You can also reverse the direction of this stroke. Another stroke often referred to as “the twister” involves cupping both hands around the penis and then gently twisting in opposite directions. If you think your partner would like spot stimulation of the frenulum, clasp the penis between both hands and interlock your fingers together with the thumbs pointing toward the glans and massage using your thumbs.

The glans:
In a move known as “the juicer,” wrap one hand around the penis while you place your palm on top of the glans and rotate, repeating this motion just as if you were juicing an orange. Another version of this utilizes just your fingers in a motion similar to unscrewing a jar.

The anus:
Lightly circle the rim of the anus.

The perineum:
Apply firm pressure or stroke the section of skin between the base of the scrotum and the penis. Many men find stimulation of this area particularly pleasurable when they’re approaching orgasm, as it puts pressure on the prostate.

Variations

So far we’ve discussed just one way of tickling someone’s tactile fancy—with your hands—but there are other, playful, and just-as-pleasurable means to this end.

Other Body Parts

Your mouth is an incredibly versatile and intimate sex toy. Think of all the possibilities—trace a path on your lover’s body with your tongue; kiss, suck, nibble, bite, or blow on the skin. All of these can evoke pleasurable sensations.

I love when my boyfriend bites my neck. Not hella hard or anything, but definitely with some force. When he’s lying on my back, without penetrating me, I like him to bite the back of my neck.

If kissing isn’t very erotic for you, you and your partner may need to practice your lip chemistry. You may prefer deep kisses while she or he prefers soft, light ones. You don’t need to assume there’s only one way to kiss—experiment so that you can find kisses that work for both of you.

Kissing turns me on—my neck, shoulders, and arms especially. I love to be sucked and licked all over from fingers to nipples.

You’ve got quite a number of nerve endings under your arms, which is why many folks find that area erotic as well as ticklish. Try different strokes to see what elicits the best response.

Massage Basics

Never given a massage before? Feeling a little intimidated? Not to worry, you’re certain to meet with undying gratitude if you remember these basic tips:

•
Go slowly
. You know that feeling of disappointment you have when you race through a delicious meal and then realize you’ve devoured it so fast you’ve barely tasted it? Don’t race through the massage! Linger over each part of your lover’s body so that she or he can savor the sensations.

•
Repeat strokes
. The consistency of repetition soothes, relaxes, and allows your lover to luxuriate in the skin contact with one area. Repeat each stroke anywhere from several to a dozen times.

•
Don’t break contact with the skin.
Once you’ve started the massage, stay connected. If you’re using oil, squeeze some into your hands before applying it, to avoid shocking the skin. When you need to apply more oil during the massage, turn your hand over while it’s still resting on your lover’s skin, cup it, and pour some more oil into it.

•
Practice symmetry
. If you massage one hand, don’t forget to do the other one. A neglected body part will feel odd if its mate has been well cared for.

•
Pay attention to your partner’s reactions.
If you see goose bumps, turn up the heat. If you see a grimace, don’t press so hard, or ask what caused the reaction. If you see a smile, continue with that stroke. If you’re uncertain, ask. You might both agree on some signs beforehand to communicate pleasure or discomfort.

I really like to have my armpits licked.

The nipples are particularly responsive to stimulation; some folks claim to orgasm from nipple stimulation alone. Sadly, men’s nipples are often overlooked as an erogenous zone.

I adore being blindfolded and sensually kissed, my nipples and my neck bitten.

Experiment with sucking, licking, and blowing on the nipples, or try pinching, flicking, or tickling them. Women’s breasts are very responsive to stimulation, though you should check in with your partner since tenderness can vary depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. Try some of the massage techniques we described earlier.