Struggling Free (Hidden Secrets Book 5) (12 page)

“Well,
to what do I owe this honor?”

I
looked up into the eyes of the devil.

Chapter Sixteen

Jake

“You
look like you just had to flush your pet goldfish.”

Looking
up I found Danger standing in front of my desk. “How’d you get in here?”

“After
what I walked in on the other day, I made a copy of your key,” he said as if it’s okay.

I
just sighed. “What can I do you for?”

“Well,
I’m bored. This fucking chick is driving me nuts so I figured I’d see if I can distract myself by checking in on you.”

“Don’t
need to. I’m fine.” I looked back down at the pictures of Vicky.

“You
hurt her badly,” Danger said.

“I
realize that,” I said not taking my eyes off the pictures.

“Have
you talked to her?”

“Talked,
no. But I went and saw her.”

“What
the hell are you listening to?” Danger scrunches his nose in disgust.

“Travis
Tritts’s
Help Me Hold On
.”

“Why?”

“Because I fucking want to! I’ve lost her! Damn it!” I screamed. “I’ve lost her,” I whispered.

Danger
sat down in the chair in front of my desk. Leaning forward, he looked at the pictures on my desk. He studied one in particular before reaching and picking it up.

“Where
was this taken?”

“I
don’t remember. One of the places that she’d taken me for a temptation test to help with my sobering up. Why?”

He
set the picture down and pointed to a spot in the background. “Because that’s the fucking chick that has been taunting me for weeks,” he growled.

I
picked the picture up and looked at it. “Huh, what do you know, she’s real.”

“Of
course, she’s fucking real!”

“Sorry
man, but you’ve been talking about her like a crazed lunatic. I thought maybe you were losing it.”

“This
chick is driving me nuts and I don’t get it,” he said, suddenly not sounding like the jagged guy that he’s been.”

“It’s
the mystery. Hell, if I met a woman the way you did…I’d be curious what else she had,” I laughed.

“Well,
I’m glad this is entertaining. So did you go talk to Vicky?”

My
smile faded. “Yeah, I did.”

He
widened his eyes and shook his head, holding up his hand, in a ‘and’ gesture. “That's all you give me?”

“Listen,
I just need to be alone.”

“No
the last time you were alone your family damn near lost you. Alone is not what you need, but I happen to know what it is you need. Come on, get up.”

“I
really don’t feel like going anywhere right now. Just give me today, okay? That’s all I’m asking for is one day.”

“Nope,
not happening,” Danger said as he yanked me out of my chair and forcefully pushed me toward the door. “You are all turning into damn pussies,” he growled from behind me.

“Says
the man that got head from a woman in a bathroom, sex in a closet of a pub and has been obsessed with her ever since,” I shot back. “You don’t even know the woman that has you pussy whipped.”

He
punched me in the side. I bit back the groan that wanted to escape. He’s tormenting me. It was only fair he got some of it back.

“Aw,
did I hit a nerve? You want to sit and call me a pussy, but at least I know my woman. At least, I’ve
had
my woman. At least…”

Danger
slammed me against the wall next to the door. “You want to play asshole, well, it’s a role I’ve got down to a science,” he hissed, his face getting closer to mine. “You broke your woman. She fell to her knees as if the world had been yanked out from under her. She wouldn’t even look at any of us and I had to drag her to your hospital room. You may know your woman, but you don’t have her by a long shot. Now, you want to quit being a douche bag and let me take you away from the constant reminder of your fuck up? Or you want to stay here and actually finish the job you started before.”

Glaring
at him, I shoved him away from me and landed a hard right hook. “That was below the fucking belt and you know it,” I hissed.

“The
way I see it,” he wiped the blood from his mouth. “The only reason it was below the belt is because it was the truth.”

“Truth
or not asshole, there’s such a thing as having compassion for someone else’s pain.”

“Sorry
to disappoint you, but compassion is not something I do.”

“You
know I haven’t known you long, and yet you act like you’ve been in the family all your life.”

“It’s
my outgoing personality,” he smirked as I rolled my eyes.

“Outgoing,”
I scoffed. “More like annoying,” I smirked.

As
rough and tough as this guy was, he was instantly welcomed into the family. Sometimes I wonder if Danger really wanted to be around anyone. In the months that he’s been around, he’s gruff and we’ve all gotten used to it. However, there are times where it seems like it’s almost a burden being around all of us. Well, he did grow up with a less than nurturing mother and no father, so maybe he just didn’t know how to relate to people. Whatever the reason, the shadows in his eyes told me that Danger may have very well lived up to his name.

Just
as I sat in his car, my phone started ringing. Like an idiot, I’d hoped it would have been Vicky. My disappointment must have been evident because Danger laughed and said ‘pussy’.

“Hey
Nate, how’s vacation?”

“Tell
me again why it is you sent me on this stupid thing?”

“To
get away from your torment, so maybe you can stop pouting like a baby and reclaim your balls. So you remember that you’re a man with a dick not a pussy,” Danger yelled from the seat next to me.

Glaring
at him, I quickly say, “To help you on your road to acceptance, brother.”

“Do
you understand what I’ve done for the past fucking week? I’ve sat in this hotel room or down at the bar constantly thinking about her. About all the times we’ve shared, all the places we’ve had…”

I
interrupted. “Okay, man, remember that’s my little sister you’re talking about.”

“Sorry,
but this is more torture than being there. At least there I had you asshats to distract me.” He sighed. “How is everything over there? Kay have the baby yet? Eli come back and tell you what he’s been up to? You clean up? How’s things with you and Vicky?”

“Uh,”
I look at Danger, who now all of a sudden has nothing to say. “Man a lot has happened since you left.” The sadness of all that we have lost and gained in such a short span of time is almost overwhelming me again.

“What’s
going on? Why do I have a brick sitting in my stomach right now?” Nate said cautiously.

“Nate,”
my voice broke.

“Just
tell me, damn it,” he sounded almost panicked.

“Eli,”
my heart constricted in my chest just saying his name. “He’s…he’s gone, Nate.”

“Where’d
he go?”

There’s
almost a hopeful tone behind his question, which tells me he knows what I’m saying. After I don’t say anything for several long minutes, his response comes back in barely a whisper.

“When?”

“Last week.”

“What!”
He roared. “You didn’t think to call me? To tell me, a guy you consider your brother, that one of my brothers passed away. The thought never crossed your mind? You never thought that maybe I might want to fucking be there!” He ended on a yell.

“Now
wait a minute here! We were going crazy! We got the call the night we took you to the airport. He passed the next day. Then I OD’d was in the hospital and mending until two days before his funeral. Then we find out that Eli has a wife and twins. Then Kayla has the baby. I lose Vicky. Sorry if my grieving prevented you from being here, but DAMN IT, I grew up with him. We shared a room. We fought over the bathroom. We went to school together. I helped him study up for his bar exam. Me, Nate, I spent all but one year of my life with him. I’m sorry in the midst of losing myself and almost dying, I didn’t pick up the fucking phone.” I hissed right back at him.

A
tense pause followed my speech. It was harsh and I shouldn’t have said it, but everything was still just far too raw to have stopped myself. Nate pushed my already over extended nerves. It wasn’t his fault. He did have a right to be upset, but he also didn’t need to make it sound like we were assholes either.

“I’m
sorry for
your
loss. My mistake, I thought we were family.” He said sadly before hanging up the phone.

“Fuck!”

“You
have a knack of making everything about you,” Danger stated after a moment.

“You
have a talent for being a fucking prick,” I grumbled.

“He
has a right to be upset.”

“Will
you just shut the fuck up? Maybe had you not been a complete asshole in the beginning he wouldn’t have been as upset. Did you ever think of that?”

“Nope,”
he smirked.

Sometimes
I found myself wondering if he even knew how to
really
smile. There was never a smile there. You rarely heard him laugh unless it was at someone’s expense. The boys really enjoyed him, though, so he can’t be too bad of a guy. Those boys were great judges of character.

Danger
sighed. “Look, just give him some time. He’ll cool down and be back to his ol’ pussy self.”

“I
don’t get you. You sit here like people should be glad you’re around. You take people for granted all the time. Honestly, you act like you’re damn entitled. One day you’re going to push too far and we won’t be so welcoming and accepting.”

“Yeah,
I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Get out.”

“What?”

“Get
out, we’re here,” he said slowly like I was hard of hearing.

“Where
are we?”

“Go
in and find out.”

Unbuckling
my seat belt, I glared at him. Yet still I climbed from the car and walked up to the door. As I knocked, I looked around to try and figure out where I was. It was some kind of hotel. The building was older, so we were on the south side of town. South side housed all the older almost historic buildings. It was one of Eli’s favorite parts of town. Actually, his place was on this side of town. I’ve been enlisted to go through it. I just can’t bring myself to do that yet. So I’ll pay his taxes on it until I can.

The
door opened and then suddenly I realized why Danger brought me here. He may be an asshole, but he’s a smart man. Smiling, I took a deep breath.

“I’m
sorry. I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“No,
not at all. Um, Jake right?”

“Yes.
Points for you. Not many can get it right,” I grinned.

“Well
your brother said enough about you guys that I got a pretty good feel. That and I met Jackson several times. You may be identical, but you have differences. Would you like to come in?”

“Please,”
I smiled.

Walking
inside, my heart squeezed in my chest. It’s only a single room with king sized bed inside. The kids are playing in a small section of the room with a few toys. They looked up and big smiles spread across their faces.

“Yay!
You play wif us?” EJ asked.

“With,”
Amber corrected.

“Huh?”
EJ asked.

“Did
you come to play
with
us?”

“I
wive here siwee.”

Amber
and I both started laughing. These two were too cute. Sebastian and Atreyu were smart beyond their years, and often seemed older than they were. So it was refreshing to see EJ and Ella, who though are smart as well, still acted like kids instead of young adults.

“What
your mom is saying is that you said
with
wrong. Say with.”

“
Wif.”

“Now
watch me.
With.
”

“
Wif,” EJ tried again.

“Push
your tongue to the back of your front teeth and blow out.” He copied me. “Good now say with again.”