Read Struggling Free (Hidden Secrets Book 5) Online
Authors: P. J. Belden
“Oh,
Jake, I love you. Shit…” She threw her head back and called out my name.
As
her movements picked up and became erratic at the same time, she clenched around me sending my plan for taking it slow tumbling off the cliff with Vicky. Quickly, I shifted up to my knees and began to thrust into her. Her body was trembling and she was gasping, I knew she was about to fall again and I planned to fall with her. Wrapping her arms around my neck, she pulled me into a kiss just as she began to clench and quiver around me. A few more thrusts and I was falling with her, throwing my head back, I called out her name.
Once
the last of the tremors left, I made her stand up so I could kiss her stomach. They were moving which caused me to laugh as I pressed kisses. Vicky laughed too. We got our clothes back on. She sat between my legs and we watched the sky start to change as dusk slowly started to take over the sky.
“Jake…”
Vicky
was trembling in my arms. She kept trying to say my name, but it almost sounded slurred. When I turned her to face me, her eyes were cloudy and didn’t seem to be able to focus on me.
Yanking
my phone from my pocket, I hit speed dial 2. The wait was killing me. But finally someone answered. My heart was so far up in my throat that I almost couldn’t speak.
Vicky
Jake proposing to me was a complete shock. I never imagined that he’d ever ask. Okay, yes, I knew he loved me and that we were going to
be
together, but I never imagined that he’d want to marry me. The love making that followed the proposal was beyond anything in my wildest dreams. Jake knew exactly what to do to send me flying higher than I thought I could and always higher than the last time we’d made love.
As
we sat watching the water, I started to feel funny. My lips were tingling. My head was spinning. With my heart hammering in my chest, I tried to focus on something, anything. When I said Jake’s name, it sounded funny to my ears. It was jumbled together. Fear started to consume me, my body started to shake. Jake turned to me then, but I couldn’t see him. He was there that I could tell, but no features were clear just a blur.
“Hang
on baby. Hang on.”
I
heard him say over and over. His concern only served to spike my already racing heart. If he was calm, it would calm me too, but he wasn’t and neither was I.
“My
fiancée, she’s not acting right. Something wrong. Something is definitely wrong.” There was a pause in his frantic talking. “Her speech sounds almost slurred. She’s shaking…” he continued to list off what was going on with me.
Trying
my hardest, I tried to let him know I was dizzy. I think he picked it up, but I couldn’t be sure. Jake touched my face.
“Baby,
have you eaten today?”
It
took longer than normal for the question to register in my head. It took even longer for the answer to come to me. Finally it did though, and I shook my head no. Relaying the information to the person on the phone, there was a long pause.
After
some time, I felt him lifting me up. He was whispering something to me, but I don’t know what it was. A groan escaped as I began to bounce in his arms. The only thing I can picture was him running while carrying me in his arms. More talking, but I didn’t understand a word of it. My heart was beating so loud in my ears, barely anything was heard over it.
Next
thing I registered was being set on something soft and a bunch of banging and clanging. A few moments later, Jake was placing something to my lips.
“Please
drink.” Registered in my ears.
I
drank whatever it was he was offering me. It was cold and sent goose bumps across my skin. The glass was pulled away from me as I began to choke on the contents. His hand brushed over my face before cupping my cheeks. Feeling his forehead pressed against mine, soon something hit my face.
“Please
be okay. Please be okay,” his voice broke and another drop hit my face.
He
was crying. Jake was crying. My heart was breaking. Slowly my heart rate started to slow as the shaking and fear ebbed slowly away. I was still dizzy, but not as bad. Just then I heard the door open, Jake’s head left mine. Then he pulled completely away from me.
My
eyes fluttered open just in time to see Jake swing at Dean
and
Paco, one right after the other. They both stumbled backwards a couple steps.
“You
fucking pricks! I asked you to do one fucking thing for me! One
fucking
thing and you can’t do that.”
“What
is going on?” Dean asked.
“Is
Vicky okay?” Paco asked.
A
loud growl filled the room and it sent a chill down my spine. Forcing myself up on my arms, I yelled at Jake. It came out scratchy and soft, but it was loud enough that it got Jake’s attention. The anger immediately left his face and he quickly moved over to me.
“Are
you okay?”
“I’m
fine. Dizzy and tired, but fine.”
“The
doctor believes your sugar dropped too low. He said if the orange juice didn’t help I needed to get you into the hospital right away. You need to eat. What do you want? I’ll make you anything,” he rushed through it all as he ran his hands over me.
“
Ooooo, Ice Cream!” I exclaimed as I grinned big.
“You’re
going to turn into ice cream if you keep it up,” Casey said through the screen door.
I
laughed. “He got me ice cream a lot,” I shrugged. “It’s good.”
“Well,
you need more than ice cream. Something substantial,” Jake chided.
“Okay,
how about steaks, mash potatoes, and cabbage?”
“That
does sound really good. Yes, let’s have that,” he smiled. Turning toward Paco and Dean, “You two can shop for it and cook it. Consider it a punishment and be thankful Vicky woke when she did,” he growled.
“Can
I still have my ice cream now though? I swear, I’ll eat the other.” I bat my eyes at him. “Please.”
Jake
laughed. “Fine.”
Once
he helped me sit up, he went into the kitchen and brought out a tub of Super Chunky Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream. I looked up at him for a moment. He hands me a spoon and has one for himself. Scooping up the first bite, he feeds it to me. I moan at the delicious flavor. Then laughed when Jake’s eyes darken.
“There
won’t be any of that until you’re feeling better,” he mumbled.
Turning
I looked at Casey. “What brings you here today? You can come in, you know?”
Opening
the door, he walked in and sat in one of the chairs. “Well, I had come to invite you all to a cookout at my place, but it seems that you already have plans.”
“Who
will be there?” Jake asked immediately on guard.
“Just
us,” he answered confused.
“Then
the guys can cook everything there if you want.”
“Sure.
So you’ll be coming then?”
“We’ll
follow you out.” Jake said as he glared at Paco and Dean.
They
actually looked scared and guilty. When I get Jake alone in the car, I’m going to find out exactly what the hell his issue was with the guys. We all walked out the door and headed to Casey’s. Once inside the car, I turned to Jake.
“What’s
going on? Why are you treating Paco and Dean so badly?”
“Because
they were supposed to watch you while I was gone, they didn’t. Because of it all you missed meals causing your sugars to drop,” he grabbed my hand tightly in his. “I’ve never been that scared. I thought I was losing all of you.”
“But
I’m fine. Plus, I’m sure the guys didn’t realize I hadn’t eaten. Because of me they were a little distracted. You didn’t even ask how it went.”
“I…”
He started.
“You
were worried about me. I get it, but they have been with you longer than I have. I may be becoming your wife, but you said it yourself they are like your brothers. Don’t turn on them please.”
He
smiled big, “I like the sound of you being my wife.” He brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it.
“Me
too,” I whispered.
We
sat in silence for a little while before Jake broke the silence. “You haven’t been to work in a while. You quitting?”
“I
worked up until about a week ago. I scheduled some time off. I’ll go back here soon. There was just a lot on my mind and I needed to sort it before I could help others.”
“A
lot of that was because of me.”
He
didn’t ask. Instead, it was a statement. The guilt from that day still poured through him and I just didn’t like it.
“Jake,
everything happens for a reason. Good or Bad it all happens because it’s meant to. We are here today stronger than ever. Not only that, but engaged to be married and preparing to welcome three gorgeous babies into the world. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and it’s because of you,” I placed my hands and his hand on my belly, “and because of them. The past is behind us for a reason. We are meant to move forward and keep living. Quit looking behind you Jake, you’ll end up tripping.”
We
pulled next to Casey’s car. He put the car in park and leaned over, kissing me tenderly.
“I
love you,” he smiled at me.
Jake
climbed out of the car and I took a moment to admire his ass. It really was a perfect ass. My favorite thing to do was to grab and pull him into me. My door opened and I sighed. It was a pain in the ass to get in and out of his car. He helped me stand up and he just held me for a minute.
Wrapping
my arms around his waist, I asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Just
still letting it all settle that we’re here in this moment right now.” He pulled back and smiled down at me. “Sorry.”
“Never
be sorry for holding me. I love it.”
We
walked up and met Casey on his deck. After Jake made me sit down, we all began talking about anything. It was almost comfortable. If it weren’t for the fact that every time Casey looked at me, Jake would tighten his hold on me. Probably wasn’t noticeable to Casey, but I noticed. He really was trying to befriend Casey because of me. The thought had my heart swelling in my chest. Jake loved me so much that he was willing to torture himself for me.
“Come
here baby,” I said to Jake when Casey went to help Paco and Dean with supper.
Pushing
myself awkwardly to a standing position, I took Jake’s hand and led him down the path that went out to the cliff. When we got close enough to the cliff, I made Jake close his eyes so he’d be surprised with the view. It was truly breathtaking.
“Okay,
open your eyes.”
“Wow,”
he said almost breathlessly.
“See,
it’s an amazing view, isn’t it?” I clapped my hands excitedly. “You can see all the way out to the cove from here.”
“Thankfully
not clearly,” he winked at me. “It is beautiful up here, though.”
Jake
turned me around pulled me into his chest, resting his head on my shoulder. We just stood there and looked at the amazing view before us. The rolling mountains of trees and the sight of the ocean on the horizon, the setting sun amplifying its beauty. It brought you a sense of peace just looking at it.
We
walked back to the house just as supper was ready. We sat around a table on Casey’s deck. Enjoying a bit of silence as the meal was consumed. My eyes were bigger than my stomach and I just couldn’t eat as much as I wanted to.
“Thank
you. This was amazing. I’ve always loved the view up here too.”
“It
does have a sense of allure to it, doesn’t it?” Casey said, smiling at me.
“It
does.”
“Well,
you’re welcome up here anytime you’d like. You know the security code and have a key to the house.”
“Thank
you,” I smiled. Then looked out toward the woods again.
Paco
gasped. “Girl, what is that I see on your hand?”
A
blush crept over me. “Jake asked me to marry him,” I said softly with a smile.
Dean
and Paco both grabbed my hand, looking at the ring. When my eyes met Casey’s, I could see the pain behind them. Yet, he still forced a smile and congratulated us on our engagement.
We
all talked for a bit longer. After a few moments, I stood. “Casey, can I speak to you for a moment?” I turned to Jake leaned over and kissed him. “I’ll be right back.”
Casey
and I walked out onto the cliff far enough away from the group to have a little privacy. We stood there in silence for a few moments before I finally turned to him.
“You’re
hurting.” I stated.
“What
are you…”
“Don’t
lie to me,” I warned.
“Yes,
I’m hurting. Not two days ago, you were with me. I thought we were happy. I love you. I’m sorry, but I just can’t shut that off.”
“I’m
not asking you to shut it off, damn it!” I yelled. “I’m trying to find out if my
friend
is okay.”
“Well
, your
friend
isn’t okay. I’m sitting here watching the woman I love start a happily ever after with another man. How am I supposed to be okay with that? How am I supposed to forget how you felt in my arms? How good your kisses are? Please tell me how,” he pleaded the last sentence.
Tears
burned my eyes as I dropped my eyes to my hands. “I guess what you’re saying is you can’t be my friend like you said you wanted.”