Secrets (16 page)

“I can’t do anything with her!” Ellie said in frustration.

“Keep trying,” Joe encouraged.

But Ellie had had enough. “I think she’s just too young for this.”

“She’s not. You can work foals younger than her through a grid like that.”

“So you do it!”

“No, it’s you she has to work with, Els.”

“Well, what am I doing wrong?” Ellie appealed to him.

“I’m not quite sure.” Joe frowned. “Look, let’s give it a break for now. There’s no point going on if you’re getting angry. That won’t achieve anything. I’ll think about it and we can try again in the next few days.”

Ellie sighed and took Hope in. That afternoon, Joe and Luke went to bring Len home. Ellie hesitated over what to do. The important jobs were all finished. Maybe she should bring Hope out and work some more with her …

No. She shrank from the thought. Hope would just play her up again. But there were plenty of other things she could do. Maybe she could talk to Lexi and see how the mare was feeling now. Or talk to Rocky about whether being ridden was OK. Also, she’d heard Stuart mention to Helen that Hereward was looking stiff on his left side; maybe she should talk to the big hunter and see if he had injured himself in any way. She shut her eyes. There were so many things that she could be doing. But Spirit … she felt the familiar tug at her heart and gave into it. He needed her and she wanted to be with him.

Reaching his grave, she sat down and called to him. She felt his presence, the touch of his invisible muzzle, the brush of his long mane, and felt the peace and happiness that always came over her when she was with him. How could she ever give up this feeling? But then how could she go on living with one foot in one world and one in another?

Letting her hands play in his mane, she felt his yearning—his loneliness too.
Oh, Spirit
, she thought unhappily.

Yes?

She hesitated. What could she say? Should she ask him if he thought it was time for him to leave?

No!
She sighed and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she said softly.

Splaying her fingers, she felt his warm breath on them as he sighed deeply. She didn’t say anything more and neither did he.

Joe and Luke returned with Len just before feedtime. Ellie went down to meet them. She was shocked by the sight of her uncle. After his enforced bed rest, his face looked pale and he seemed to have lost weight.

Joe took his crutches and helped him out of the car on to them, but when he tried to help him further Len shook him off. “I can manage. I don’t need you fussing around me like a flamin’ nursemaid.” He caught sight of Ellie watching. “And what are you staring at?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly.

“Good.”

Pip went over to investigate and Len hit out angrily at her with a crutch. The dog jumped back. With difficulty, Len started using the crutches to walk up to the yard, but the slope was steep and he struggled. Joe went to help. “I don’t need any bloody help!” Len snarled.

Ellie saw Joe fall back.

“Come on, Len,” said Luke. “You’ve fractured your leg. Of course you need a bit of help.”

“When I need help, I’ll ask.”

Ellie followed her uncle with Luke and Joe as he made painfully slow progress up the yard.

“What are you three doing following me?” Len demanded. “It’s almost five o’clock. Get up there and help with the feeds.”

“OK,” said Joe, exchanging looks with Ellie. Her heart was sinking. She’d known it would be difficult having Len back on the yard, but he was worse than she’d even imagined he’d be.

Things didn’t improve. Determined to re-establish his self-respect when he reached the yard, Len immediately started to find fault.

“Those flower baskets haven’t been watered enough. Look at them. And look at the state of the yard.” Ellie looked—there were about three pieces of straw on it. “It’s covered with straw. Fetch a broom, Joe, and start brushing. You can help too,” he grunted to Ellie. “And, Luke, straighten those headcollars. Stu!”

Stuart came out of the feedroom. “Hey, Len.”

“Get those bleeding flower baskets watered.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

Ellie fetched a broom and started sweeping with a sigh. Oh yes, her uncle was most definitely home.

Chapter Sixteen

“YOU’RE NOT CALLING THAT
a groomed horse!” Len snapped to Ellie the next morning as she finished grooming Gem on the yard. Len heaved himself over on his crutches. Gem jumped back in alarm, eyeing the strange sticks Len was leaning on. “There’s mud on his hocks and muck on his neck. Get him done properly.” Len had been back on the yard for a day and a bit now, yet his mood hadn’t improved at all. If anything it had grown blacker with the constant frustration at not being able to move around and do the things he usually did. He simply wouldn’t stay inside and rest, but hauled himself around, swearing as he tried to get up and down the sloping yard.

There was a show on that day and Luke, Stu and Helen had thankfully escaped to take the liveries there, leaving Joe and Ellie to bear the brunt of Len’s anger—it was Sasha’s day off so there were just the two of them.

Picking up a brush again, Ellie started to re-groom Gem, although the patches of mud that Len had supposedly spotted were almost non-existent.

Len went to Troy’s stable and tried to get in, but the bolt was stiff and as he tried to pull it across, his crutches slipped.

Ellie hesitated. Whenever people offered help, he bit their heads off.

He looked around over his shoulder. “Well, don’t just stand there gawping at me like I’m some animal in the zoo. Come and help me.”

It seemed that nothing she or anyone else could do would ever be right.

Ellie went over and opened the stable door. Len heaved himself inside and looked Troy up and down assessingly, checking his condition. The friendly hunter came over and reached out to nuzzle him.

“Get off!” Len growled.

Ellie remembered her conversation with Joe and how he’d talked about Ray stroking his horses and enjoying being with them. If only Len could be like that.

When Len had inspected the horses, he had Ellie and Joe up in the ring, riding on Milly and Wisp. Ellie didn’t think she’d ever been shouted at more in her life. Nothing she did was right, her hands were too low, her legs too far forward, her back not straight. Every second he wasn’t shouting at Joe, he was shouting at her.

“Will you get that ruddy mare going forward!” he yelled for the umpteenth time.

Ellie had to bite her tongue to stop herself from screaming back at him.
She’s not a ruddy mare—she’s got a name. She’s called Milly and she is going forward!

Feeling Ellie’s gathering tension, Milly started to mess around, pulling and going sideways, which made Len yell even more. Then he turned on Joe.

“Don’t know what Ray’s been teaching you, but get your legs on and get that pony on the bit!”

Ellie and Joe were very relieved when they could come in, but they had no break. Len wanted them straight back out on Picasso and Gabriel. And so the day went on until, after lunch, Len announced he needed a rest and they could carry on with working the youngsters.

“I don’t think I can stand this,” Ellie muttered.

“Don’t think we have a choice,” said Joe.

“Is he going to be like this every single day?”

“I guess so.”

“It’s all right for you—you’ll be going back to

Canada next week.”

“Fancy coming?”

“Yes please!” she begged.

Joe put his arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick hug. “Come on, let’s start working on the youngsters while we don’t have Dad bellowing in our ears. Who shall we start with?”

“How about Sandy? She bucked me off twice when we started backing her a few weeks ago. She’s been all right since, but I have a feeling it’s more because she’s given up fighting rather than that she wants to please. We could try joining-up with her.”

“Definitely,” said Joe.

They brought the filly out of the barn and took her down to the circular ring. Ellie caught sight of Len watching them from the kitchen window. Her heart sank. She hoped he wouldn’t come out.

Once they reached the ring, Joe set the mare loose. Ellie settled back to watch. Sandy took longer to join-up than Rocky had, but then she didn’t know Joe. Still, he didn’t give up and soon she was following him around the school.

“You’ll be taking her in damned Crufts next!” Hearing her uncle’s voice, Ellie looked around and realized he’d been watching Joe join-up as he’d made his slow way down from the house to the ring on his crutches. “What the hell are you doing, Joe?”

Ellie saw Joe sigh, but he tried to be patient. “It’s join-up, Dad. You know what that is. We do lots of it at Ray’s yard. It’s how he starts all his youngsters before he backs them.”

“That pony’s been backed. You could get on and ride her, no problem.”

“Yes, but does she trust you?” said Joe in a level voice. “Does she see you as a partner?”

Ellie felt a start of surprise. She was used to Joe backing down when Len challenged him. But the time away had changed him, made him stronger, she realized.

“Partner?” Len rolled his eyes. “She’s the horse. I’m the rider. She’ll do what I say.”

“But will she give her heart for you when the chips are down?” Joe persisted. “Jump that difficult jump when you need her to. Find the stride when you’ve missed it. That’s what a horse who sees you as a partner does.”

Len just snorted derisively. “Stuff ’n’ airy-fairy nonsense if you ask me.”

“It’s not nonsense! Joe’s talking complete sense!” Ellie’s voice rose angrily. “Why won’t you listen to him? Why won’t you take any notice?”

“I’ll take notice when I see a horse that hasn’t already been backed and ridden out for two weeks.” Len pointed at Sandy. “What does that prove? We’ve sorted her out already.”

Ellie glared at him. “You want proof. OK, I’ll show you proof.”

“Ellie!” Joe protested.

But the only thing Ellie could think about was proving her uncle wrong. “Wait here. I’ll be back in a minute! Joe, put Sandy away.”

“But …”

Ellie was already running up the yard.

“What the hell … ?”

Ellie led Rocky down to the school with his tack on.

Her uncle started shaking his head. “All right, enough’s enough. That horse isn’t right in the head. No one’s getting on him.”

“It’s too late,” Ellie said softly.

Clicking her tongue, she led Rocky into the ring.

“It’s OK, Dad,” Joe reassured him. “It’ll be fine. Ellie’s been working with him.”

“Come on in,” said Ellie, holding the gate open for Len.

Her uncle hesitated. “Scared?” she challenged him.

His expression darkened and he pulled himself into the ring on his crutches. Joe shut the gate behind him.

Ellie stroked Rocky’s neck and then swung herself easily into the saddle. She heard her uncle’s exclamation of alarm. But Rocky stood calmly just as she had known he would. She’d been working with him and riding him every day since she had joined-up with him. She touched her heels to his side and he walked on. She halted, turned, trotted and then brought him to where her uncle was standing.

Her uncle stood staring at her and the horse. Ellie felt overwhelmed with satisfaction. “See,” she said, dismounting.

With a shake of his head, her uncle turned and made for the gate. Ellie felt a rush of disappointment. Even after seeing Rocky, her uncle still couldn’t open his mind enough to accept that the things Joe did worked.

“Open the gate!” Len ordered Joe. “I won’t waste any more time watching this.”

“Dad!” Joe glanced at Ellie’s disappointed face and then seemed to make a decision. He shook his head. “No.”

“Open the ruddy gate,” snapped Len.

“No,” Joe repeated. “Not until you open your eyes. You can see what Ellie’s done, what I’ve done. You’ve heard Ray tell you about it. Face it, Dad. This way of training works.”

“I won’t be told what to do by you!” Len snarled. “Now open the gate and get that horse in.”

Father and son glared at each other.

Ellie expected Joe to back down, but he didn’t. Only once had she ever seen him stand up to his dad like this before—straight after Len had had his pony, Merlin, put to sleep.

“No,” Joe said, shaking his head. “
You
get Rocky in. Ellie, untack him.”

She frowned. “What?”

She wasn’t the only one. “I can’t get a bloody horse in. Look at me!” Len nodded furiously at his crutches. “I can’t even open the bloody gate.”

“I’ll open the gate once you catch Rocky. Ellie, take his tack off,” Joe repeated, climbing out of the ring.

Ellie suddenly thought she knew what Joe was trying to do. Would it work? While her uncle swore at Joe and cursed, turning the air blue with his language, she unbuckled the girth, slid the saddle off, and then undid the bridle and took it off too. Rocky looked at her in surprise. She patted his neck and raised her arms, sending him away. Used to join-up now, he seemed to accept that was what she wanted him to do and he trotted away to the side of the ring happily.

She went to the side and ducked out between the bars of the fence with the tack.

Suddenly her uncle realized he was in there alone. “What the hell are you two playing at?” He glanced at Rocky, who had slowed to a walk, and then looked at Ellie and Joe outside the gate. “I’ll murder you when I get out of here, Joe, you just see if I don’t!”

Joe looked at him levelly. “You won’t be getting out until you catch Rocky.”

“I can’t catch that flamin’ horse!”

“You can. You’ve seen me do join-up. Now you do it—get him to come to you. Otherwise you’ll be in there for a long time.” Joe checked his watch. “Stu and Luke won’t be back for about another five hours, I reckon.” He started to back away from the gate.

“Don’t you dare go, Joe!” Len roared, making Rocky jump into a trot again.

“Sorry, Dad, but I think you’ve lost track of why you started working with horses in the first place and you need to be reminded. Horses are amazing. They’ve got thoughts, feelings, emotions, and you get so much more out of it if you work with them rather than forcing them. It’s time you learned that and I reckon this is the only way.”