Secrets (14 page)

Ellie tried to spend more time with the foal. Hope was still misbehaving, pulling away and striking out with her small front hooves when she was led, nipping with her sharp teeth when told off. Ellie decided to work with her in the schooling ring, setting out a grid of poles to walk her through and around. It was a training method that Joe had told her about to encourage cooperation and obedience. It involved working the horse by using voice commands and signals made with a long whip, although the whip was never used to hit the horse.

Ellie read up on it, but the first time she tried it with Hope she found that it seemed much easier in theory than practice. The filly barged into her, tripping over the poles, and refusing to listen to her voice commands “walk” and “whoa”. She took absolutely no notice of the whip. The book had said that when placed across the horse’s chest it would help stop the horse. Hope just walked straight on through it.

Ellie’s frustration grew. All the time the filly was messing around was time she could have spent with Spirit. Finally, she was so angry, she shouted at her, banging the end of the whip down on the floor in front of Hope’s nose.

Quick as a flash, the filly grabbed the stick, pulled it out of Ellie’s hands and tossed it over her shoulder across the school.

“Now that’s an interesting training method, Ellie,” Luke’s voice came from the gate. He had paused there with a wheelbarrow. “So you teach the horse to hold the whip now, do you?”

“Oh, shut up!” Ellie groaned.

Hearing his familiar infuriating chuckle for the first time in days, she stomped over to pick up the whip. She’d wanted Luke to start talking to her again, but not like this. She glanced up, but he’d already gone on his way. Shaking her head, she turned back to Hope. The filly gave her a smug look.

“Oh, I give up!” said Ellie. “You can go back in your field.”

Hope jogged beside her and nipped at her all the way down to the gate. Ellie unfastened her headcollar and, feeling a bit guilty about giving up and shouting at her, went to pat her, but Hope simply wheeled away and cantered off, kicking up her heels defiantly.

Ellie heaved a sigh and thought of Spirit nuzzling her and breathing on her hands, pushing his head against her, standing with her for hours. She had such a special bond with Spirit. It would never be the same with Hope. Never. For a moment, she almost wondered about selling the foal on. She stopped her thoughts, shocked at herself, and walked away.

At least Rocky was behaving himself. Stuart had been astonished at the change in him since the time Ellie had spent in his stall. He was like a different horse. He didn’t cower in his stable any more and he didn’t once try to kick or bite. It was like a switch had been flicked in his brain. Even Ellie found it hard to believe that he could go from fearing people to trusting them so completely, but it seemed that talking to her had been enough.

Still, not wanting to rush him, Ellie decided against trying to back him. She would wait for Joe to come and see if he could help. Instead, she worked Rocky through the maze of poles. He restored her confidence in the training method—and in her own abilities as a trainer. Unlike Hope, he picked up exactly what she meant and in no time at all was responding to the voice commands and signals with the stick, turning corners, backing up, halting, walking over the poles and weaving through them. He seemed to really enjoy it, listening to her intently and trying to please. Feeling good about the progress he was making, Ellie did two sessions with him a day. She didn’t try Hope again, though, telling herself that she would wait until the foal was a bit older.

“I can’t believe the change in Rocky,” Luke said, coming into the tackroom on Monday morning with Pip as Ellie was putting the lunge rope away. Ellie looked around in surprise. She’d become used to him going out of his way to avoid talking to her. “You really have worked a miracle this time.”

The admiration in his eyes was so genuine that Ellie felt her barriers drop slightly. “Thanks.”

“He’s like a different horse.” Luke shot her a teasing look as Pip trotted over to her for some affection. “That’s it, isn’t it? I’ve worked out what you do now. You take a lunatic horse, sell it, buy another that looks just the same and, hey presto, it’s suddenly no problem at all and everyone thinks you’re some kind of genius.” Ellie couldn’t stop herself. The corners of her mouth curled up as she ruffled the little dog’s head. “Got it in one. You’ve worked out
exactly
how I do it.”

They smiled and for a moment the tension between them seemed to relax.
I’ve missed this
, Ellie thought suddenly.
I’ve missed him
.

Luke gave a sudden sigh. “It’s tough at the moment, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” she admitted. “Len … all the horses … so much to do.”

They gave each other a look of shared understanding.

Luke broke the silence. “That necklace looks good on you.” She realized he was looking at her neck where she wore the necklace he’d given her.

Ellie wore it all the time. “Thanks.” Their eyes met and Ellie felt her stomach curl. The moment was broken by Stuart calling her name outside. Ellie stayed where she was, but Luke hastily stepped back. At the same moment his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and checked the screen, then hit the answer button.

“Hi, Anna.”

Ellie could hear a faint high voice on the other end of the phone. It sounded as if Anna was angry.

“Look, I’ve told you, I can’t come over today,” said Luke, going to the door. “Joe’s coming back and—” He broke off. “Yeah, of course you’re important, babe, but there’s a lot of stuff going on here right now. Can’t you understand that?” He strode out, phone to his ear, back tense.

Ellie felt like a balloon that had just been pricked. She took a deep breath.
Don’t think about him
, she told herself.
He’s going out with Anna. Don’t think about him at all
. And lifting her chin, she walked out to find Stuart and see what he wanted.

Joe arrived after lunch. Ellie had been looking forward to it so much, and yet when he left the taxi and came up the yard she found herself hanging back awkwardly. It was so strange to see him there, actually there, his face tanned and his sandy-brown hair bleached lighter from the sun, but his familiar grin in place.

“You’re back!” Helen cried in delight as he dropped his bags, and she and Sasha greeted him with hugs. Stuart and Luke shook his hand and clapped him on the back.

“Welcome home!” said Luke.

Ellie hovered on the edge of the group, waiting for Joe to turn to her. “Missed me?” he asked with a grin.

She nodded and the next second he was giving her the biggest bear hug ever.

She gasped in surprise. As she felt him swing her around, her awkwardness melted away and she put her arms around his neck, hugging him back. “Oh, I have missed you! I have!” she said, her eyes shining as he put her down. “Oh, Joe!” She hugged him again tightly and heard him laugh.

As they separated, they both beamed at each other.

“Well, ah’ve sure missed you, honey,” said Joe, putting on a bad Canadian accent.

She laughed again.

“Better get on with stuff,” said Luke, swinging around suddenly. “Good to have you back, Joe,” he called over his shoulder.

“Really good,” agreed Stuart.

“I’ll help you with your bags,” Ellie said happily to Joe. “Let’s dump them inside and then you can see the new horses, Lexi and Rocky.”

“What about the foal? You said you’d bought her.”

“Yeah.”

“Have you been doing loads with her?”

Ellie felt guilty. “Oh, bits and pieces. It’s been really busy around here.”

“Yeah, I bet! So tell me all the news.”

They didn’t stop talking all afternoon. After dropping his bags in the house, they walked around the yard, catching up and letting him say hi to all the horses. In next to no time Joe was sweeping up, doing the feeds, filling haynets, chatting to Sasha and Helen. It was as if he’d never been away.

“So you’ve really met Pat Parelli and Monty Roberts?” said Helen, naming two very well-known horse trainers.

“Yeah, well, I’ve been to clinics given by both of them.”

“What about movie stars?” said Sasha. “Have you met any of them?”

Joe grinned. “Nope, I’m afraid not too many of them come to the ranch.”

“What’s it like?” asked Ellie.

“Massive. And the mountains … you can’t describe them. You’d love it,” he said to her. “It’s just empty beautiful countryside for miles and miles. There are wild horses there and everything. And the people are cool.”

“How many grooms are there?”

“We’re called stablehands over there and there’re ten of us. Ray’s a great boss.”

The talking went on and on. Ellie noticed that Luke didn’t say much to Joe. She was surprised. He’d seemed happy enough that Joe was coming home. The two of them were so different they were never going to be best friends, but they’d always got on well. But Luke hardly came to chat with Joe at all. The only time she saw him was when he came into the tackroom while she and Joe were putting some headcollars away. She was laughing as Joe described Ray putting him on a horse and making him ride it without a saddle or bridle. “I’d love to have seen that!” she said.

Luke came in and dumped a grooming kit at her feet. “You left this in Picasso’s stall.”

“Yeah, sorry, I forgot about it when Joe arrived,” said Ellie.

“Well, don’t forget about it again!” Luke snapped. “Picasso could have trodden on it.”

“Who turned you into Len for the day?” Ellie said, surprised and annoyed by his tone.

“I’m just saying.” Luke walked out, his face set.

“Well, don’t!” she shouted after him, her anger flaring to meet his.

She saw Joe’s startled expression. “What’s up with the pair of you?”

“Nothing.”

“I thought you were getting on better. You seemed to be before I left and you said he was really good when Spirit …” He hesitated, not saying the word. “Well, with Spirit and everything.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know what goes on in his brain!” Ellie said, grimacing. “Who does? Come on, let’s not talk about him. Tell me about the people you work with. Who are your friends?”

“Well, Andy, Brad, Pippa and Lucy are the people I hang around with most. Here, I’ve got some pictures on my phone …” And they were off again, talking non-stop.

Anna Hallett arrived at four o’clock in her sports car, to ride Lucifer and see Luke.

“I told you they’d started going out, didn’t I?” Ellie said to Joe in a low voice as Anna walked on to the yard.

Joe nodded as they watched from Starlight’s stable. “So it’s all official now.”

“Yeah.”

“They do look good together,” said Joe as Luke went over to greet Anna.

“So should we go for a ride?” Ellie said, changing the subject. “We could take out Milly and Wisp. They both need exercising.”

“I wish Barney was still here,” Joe said, nodding.

“Yeah.” Ellie squeezed his hand. “I miss him too. He’s gone to a really nice home, though. His new owner adores him.”

Joe nodded. Having been at the stables all his life, he was used to horses and ponies being sold on. “That’s good. And yeah, let’s have a ride. I want to go out in the woods.” His phone buzzed with a new text.

He checked it and grinned. “It’s just Lucy wanting to know I’ve arrived here OK. She’s so nice, you’d like her.” He texted back quickly. Ellie watched him. She knew him so well. He must like this girl Lucy to be so rapid in replying.

Joe put his phone in his pocket and they fetched the tack. On the way to the tackroom, they passed Anna and Luke standing by the wash-stall. “I can’t believe you wouldn’t come out for lunch,” Anna was saying angrily. “You said you would last week.”

“Yes, but a lot’s happened since then. I thought I’d be able to have the day off, but that was before Len’s accident.” Luke sounded annoyed. “I don’t see why you can’t understand that.”

Ellie and Joe exchanged looks and went into the tackroom. “She seems high maintenance,” commented Joe, rolling his eyes.

“Oh, yes,” said Ellie, nodding. “She is!”

It was brilliant being back in the woods with Joe. They jumped some logs, cantered up and down grassy banks, and then let the ponies walk along the track to cool down. The mud was hard under the ponies’ hooves and the sun shone through the green leaves, dappling the ground. The banks at the side of the tracks were covered with a riot of pink and yellow flowers, with bees buzzing in and out of them.

“It’s good to be back,” said Joe with a contented sigh. “Canada’s great, but it’s good being home too. I must go and see Dad in the morning.”

“Luke says he’s in a really bad mood.”

“He’s going to hate crutches,” said Joe.

Ellie nodded. She wasn’t looking forward to Len coming back. The yard was a much happier place without his constant barking and shouting, cursing and bad temper.

“So, does it seem different being back here?” she said.

“Kind of. I know it sounds weird, but it looks smaller than I’d remembered. I guess most of it is the same, though. Just some stuff has changed.” He gave her a sideways glance. “It’s strange Spirit not being here.”

Ellie looked at Milly’s flaxen mane and nodded. Joe hesitated. “Do you … do you still really miss him?”

Ellie couldn’t begin to express the mix of feelings inside. “Yes,” was all she managed to say. “Oh, Joe,” she whispered, wishing she could tell him everything.

But he didn’t understand the feeling behind her words. How could he? “It hurts?” he said.

Ellie almost felt like laughing. If it was just the hurt … but it wasn’t. There was so much more. The conflict—feeling torn between two worlds, wanting desperately to hold on to Spirit, but wanting to spend her time helping troubled horses too. Worrying about Spirit—about him being lonely and missing other horses and about the increasing sense of quietness about him …

Maybe there’s a reason why the dead don’t come back.

No!
She slammed Spirit’s words away.

It’ll be OK
, she told herself, refusing to contemplate giving up.
It’ll all be fine
.