Secrets (12 page)

Ignoring her, Len led Rocky up to the school, the bay jogging and pulling anxiously. “Walk on, you stupid thing!” Len growled.

He opened the gate and pulled down the stirrups. With a quick spring, he was sitting down in the saddle. Ellie saw all Rocky’s muscles tense and then he simply exploded. He went berserk, shooting around the ring, his head down between his knees, his legs kicking up in a twisting series of bucks. She’d thought Sandy was a bucker, but she was nothing compared to Rocky. He jackknifed in the air, plunging and kicking, his eyes rolling as he did everything in his power to be free of the weight on his back.

Len was a very experienced horseman, but not even a rodeo rider could have stayed on. Ellie saw him fall forward heavily on to Rocky’s neck, losing his reins and balance. Rocky plunged his head down again and twisted his back legs up near the fence.

The movement dislodged Len and he was flung through the air, crashing into a fence post and thumping down to the ground.

Ellie froze. Rocky bucked twice more, his reins and stirrups flapping, and then realizing he was free, he trotted to the far side of the school.

Get up! Get up!
Ellie thought, but her uncle didn’t move. Hands shaking, she pulled herself over the gate and ran across the schooling ring towards him. She gave a muffled gasp. Blood was running down the side of his face and pooling under his still head …

Chapter Twelve

ELLIE STARED AT HER UNCLE
lying on the ground. “Uncle Len?”

He didn’t move. Was he dead?

No, she could see his chest was still moving. But he was unconscious. What should she do? She knew you shouldn’t move someone if they were badly injured in case they had damaged their spine or neck.

Phone an ambulance. Reaching into her pocket with trembling fingers Ellie pulled out her phone and punched in 999.

“Which service do you require?” said a voice.

“Ambulance!” she gasped. It only took a second for her to be put through and then she was talking to a calm woman who asked her lots of questions about where she was and what had happened and took her phone number. “We’re sending someone now,” said the woman. “It’ll be an air ambulance. Is there anyone with you?”

“No. I can ring them, though. They’re nearby.” Ellie felt an overwhelming longing to speak to Luke, to hear his voice, to have him tell her it would be all right.

“Ring them. I’ll call you back in a moment.”

Everything happened so fast. The bright red helicopter was there within five minutes, before Luke and Stuart had even returned home. Having been told by the lady on the phone not to move her uncle in any way, Ellie put Rocky in his stable before the helicopter arrived. She was very glad she’d thought of it. The horses in the fields charged around in alarm as it landed, its rotors whirring.

The pilot and two other paramedics in orange suits jumped out, and quickly started dealing with Len.

One of them, a lady called Pat, stood with Ellie, explaining what was happening. They were all very efficient and calm. It felt unreal to Ellie, like being part of a TV show, as she watched her uncle being stabilized and strapped on to a fluorescent yellow board. “Now, do you want to come with us?” Pat asked as Len was lifted carefully into the helicopter.

“I-I can’t,” Ellie stammered. “I shouldn’t leave here.” To her relief, just then she caught sight of Luke and Stuart galloping along the drive on Oscar and Zak, heedless of the horses’ legs.

It seemed only seconds before Luke was running up the hill to the schooling ring. “Ellie!” He grabbed her and pulled her close. Feeling his arms around her, her composure disintegrated and she started to cry.

“I’m Len’s nephew,” Luke explained to the paramedic over her head. “What’s happening?”

Pat explained and told Luke where the ambulance was going. “One of you can come with us or you could meet us at the hospital.”

“We’ll meet you there,” said Luke. “We’ll come in the car.”

“Is Uncle Len going to be all right?” Ellie asked fearfully.

“We need to take him to hospital to find out for sure what the matter is. The wound on his head isn’t serious, though. It’s more a case of what other damage he’s done. We won’t know until he’s had a full body X-ray and CT scan.” Pat gave her a sympathetic look. “You did all you could by calling the ambulance as quickly as you did.”

Not all I could
, thought Ellie.
I should have stopped him riding Rocky. Or sorted Rocky out before he rode him.
She felt a guilty lurch as she realized that she might have found out what was the matter with Rocky if she hadn’t been spending so much time with Spirit.

Pat and the other paramedics got into the ambulance, gave a wave and then shut the door. Ellie and Luke watched as the rotors turned faster and it rose into the sky. Stuart had joined them at the gate. His face was etched with worry. “What happened?” he said to Ellie.

“You can tell us in the kitchen,” said Luke. “Let’s get you a cup of sweet tea, that’s good for shock.”

Ellie nodded, her legs trembling. As she turned to walk out of the school, they gave way. Luke caught her and scooped her up in his arms as if she weighed nothing. Ellie was too shocked even to struggle. She rested her head against his chest, giving in for the moment to being looked after. “Come on. Let’s take you inside,” he said.

Once she was sitting in the kitchen with a cup of tea, Ellie’s trembling calmed and she told Stuart and Luke about the way Rocky had gone mad. “No one could have stayed on.” She shook her head. “I tried to stop Len riding him. I should have tried harder.”

“It’s not your fault.” Luke squeezed her hands tightly. “Don’t even begin to think that.”

“Luke’s right. No one can stop Len when he’s a mind to do something,” Stuart agreed. “You know that only too well. Sounds as if we don’t know everything about Rocky’s past, though. Horses don’t behave like that without a reason. I’ll get it checked out.”

Ellie felt slightly better.

“We should get changed and find some things for Len, then drive to the hospital,” Luke said. Pat had told them there was no rush. Len would need to have his injuries assessed and then go into the operating theatre. There would be a lot of waiting around to hear news.

Ellie stood up. “You’re not going to collapse again, are you?” Luke said.

“No.” She managed a shaky smile. “Thanks, Luke.”

“Come on, let’s get moving,” he said.

Pat, the paramedic, had been right. There
was
a lot of waiting around. In the end, the news came through and it was reasonably good. Although Len had concussed himself, bruised a couple of ribs, fractured the femur in his left leg and badly sprained his right ankle, his neck and back—the two areas that the paramedics had been most worried about—were fine. He’d be in hospital for a week or so and then walking on crutches, but the doctors were hopeful he would make a full recovery. By the time Ellie and Luke went into see him he had regained consciousness, but was now sedated in intensive care.

“It will seem as if he’s asleep, but he’s only just under the surface. A lot of patients do recall their family talking to them while they were sedated, so if you want to speak to him, then do,” the staff nurse in charge of Len explained.

It was strange seeing Len looking so vulnerable with his eyes closed. There were tubes coming from all over him and a breathing piece attached to his mouth, which went to a ventilator working his lungs. He was tucked in under white sheets, his hands and arms on the outside. His weather-beaten face looked gray, his eyes shut, and his wrinkles seemed deeper then ever. Ellie stared at him, not knowing quite how she felt.

Guilty, yes. Even though she accepted what Luke and Stuart said about there being no way she could have stopped Len, she still felt guilty she hadn’t tried harder with Rocky that week. She’d told herself she was giving him time, but deep down, in her heart of hearts, she knew she could have spent more time with him than she had.

So yes, guilty. And sorry for her uncle lying there in hospital injured, but that was about it. She couldn’t love him just because he was injured. She edged towards the window, wishing they could leave. There were six beds in the intensive care unit and there were patients in each of them, who were connected to machines like Len was. Ellie glanced out at the sky and longed to be away, back in the fresh air. Another wave of guilt hit her that she didn’t feel more upset.

Luke sat beside Len on a chair and held his hand. “Don’t worry about a thing, Len,” he was saying. “I’ll see to everything. Just get better. The yard will run fine until you come home.”

He sat there talking for what seemed a very long time to Ellie, but Len didn’t move or even stir. In the end, the nurse came and told them it might be best if they left for the day. “I’ll come again tomorrow,” Luke told Len. “Just recover and don’t worry about anything.”

“Do you think he could hear you like the nurse said?” Ellie asked as they left and walked down the echoing corridor, away from the bleeping, whirring machines.

“I don’t know, but it made me feel better saying it to him and if he could hear, well, hopefully, it’s made him feel better too.”

Ellie nodded. They drove home in silence. It was almost dark when they arrived. “I’ll stick on some supper,” said Luke as they left the car.

“I’ll check around the horses,” Ellie offered. She went from stall to stall, making sure water buckets were filled, straightening rugs, re-hanging haynets. She liked doing the last check of the night. The horses were always calm and relaxed then, many of them lying down, most greeting her with low pleased whickers.

Not Rocky. He shot to the back of his stall when she opened the door.

“Oh, Rocky, what has happened to you in the past?” Ellie whispered. The horse stared at her fearfully. Ellie was tempted to try connecting with him again, but she felt drained and exhausted and communicating with reluctant horses took a lot of energy. She knew she should wait until she was feeling stronger herself.
Tomorrow
, she decided.

Leaving the barn, she went to the field. Spirit came to her as soon as she called. She told him all about the day.

I just feel so bad I haven’t connected with Rocky yet.

Spirit nuzzled her.
You have been spending a lot of time here with me. Maybe you should come here less often.

No! I don’t want you to be lonely.

I know and I don’t want to see you less, but the living need you more than I do.

But I need you, Spirit,
Ellie told him, twining her hands in his mane. She struggled to put her feelings into words.
All the rest of the time—when I’m not with you—it’s as if I’m just pretending, getting through the time until I can be here with you, in my real life.

But this
isn’t
your real life, Ellie.
She felt a deep sadness coming from him. For a moment she had the unnerving sensation of holding water in her hands, trying to stop it draining away through her fingers.

But she was too tired to think about it any more just then.
Let’s not talk about this now.

Yes.

He nuzzled her and putting her forehead against his, she let the world fade away.

Ellie sent Joe an email telling him what had happened:
They say he’ll be OK
, she finished.
Only, Joe, I wish you were here. E xx

She slept fitfully that night. Luke went back to the hospital in the morning. He asked if she wanted to go, but when she gave a feeble excuse about staying with the horses he seemed to understand.

Later that day, Joe rang. “I’ve just seen your email. How’s Dad?”

“He’s going to be OK,” Ellie said, pressing the phone close to her ear, wishing Joe was there next to her. “Luke went to the hospital this morning and is still there now. They think your dad’ll be in hospital for a week, then when he comes out he’ll be on crutches for a while and not able to move much.”

Joe whistled through his teeth. “He’ll hate that.”

“I know.” Ellie couldn’t begin to imagine how someone as active and physical as her uncle would react to being so restricted.

“I want to come home,” said Joe. “Just for a visit—see him and help out on the yard. You’ll all be really up against it without Dad and it’s the busiest time of year.”

“You can’t fly all the way back here,” protested Ellie, but she felt a flicker of hope inside.

“I can,” said Joe. “I talked to Ray as soon as I saw your mail. He said it’s fine and that of course I can come. I’ll check the times when I get a ticket and text you later.”

“You’re really coming back?” said Ellie, shutting her eyes and praying he meant it. She realized she so desperately wanted to see his familiar face and smile, to feel him hugging her.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Clicking the
END CALL
button, Ellie felt as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders. It would be brilliant to have Joe back, even if just for a while. It was less than two months since he’d left, but it felt like forever. So much had happened in that time—Spirit dying, all the shows, Luke and her …

No!
Ellie stopped her thoughts there. There was no “Luke and her”.

Feeling cross with herself, she walked up the yard.

Chapter Thirteen

ELLIE TEXTED LUKE TO TELL
him Joe was coming home and then she told Stuart, Helen and Sasha. They were all delighted at the news; Joe was so easygoing and helpful. He’d always put himself out for people and he was such a part of the yard. Ellie realized how much everyone had been missing him.

Maybe he’ll stay …

The thought jumped across her mind as she groomed Lexi that afternoon. She felt torn. Joe was having a great time in Canada. From his emails she knew he loved learning how to use natural horsemanship techniques, being on a yard where they used them every day and were open to new methods. She also knew he’d been having fun—he was always telling her about the barbecues he went to, the parties at people’s houses. He’d been so under Len’s thumb and worked so hard when he lived at the yard that he’d never had time for going out. She wanted him back at the stables, but she also wanted him to be happy.