Red Sun (19 page)

             
I rolled my eyes.  “You’ve got to be the most confused person I’ve ever met in my entire life.  You know that?  This whole fiasco between us is ridiculous.”  I took the blanket from him and motioned for him to get off the other one so I could go home and be mad in peace. 

             
“I don’t get why you’re so upset,” he replied.

             
“Because, Jolon, not only do you hide your feelings from me, you hide them from yourself too.”

             
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  He asked cynically.

             
I looked him straight in his eyes and lost the nerve to say what was on my mind.  ”Huhhhhhhhhh…..Nothing.”

             
He put his head down.  “Whatever, Solei.”

             
I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier the longer I stood there.  “You make me sick,” I blurted.

             
“You make
me
sick!”  He yelled back.  I rolled my eyes again and tugged forcefully at the blanket while he was trying to stand up – nearly causing him to lose his balance.  He stopped and turned, warning me with his eyes.

             
“Don’t look at me like that!”  I yelled. 

             
Jolon mumbled something under his breath and trudged slowly back to the water while I bundled the blankets under my arms and then stomped toward the house.  I’d walked a few yards when I heard the splash behind me.  I growled to myself in frustration, vowing to never let him get that close to me again, and I didn’t just mean physically.  I felt like I’d let him inside my head, telling him about my mother and Shalon.  That was something I should’ve kept to myself.  It didn’t matter that he’d told me his business, this would be the last time I’d ever tell him anything.  One of us had to put an end to this vicious cycle.

             
The second I stepped foot in the door, my father started in on me too.  “Hold it,” he called out as I tried to hurry past him.  I reared my head back, feeling irritated, and then turned to face him.  He met my gaze and stood from the couch where he was planted and crossed the room.  “Where were you?”  He asked, glancing down at the blankets I was carrying.

             
“The river,” I replied, rolling my eyes.  He folded his arms over his chest and stared at me, maybe wondering if I’d just told him a lie.  “Can I go now?”  I asked.

             
“No, we need to talk,” he replied.  I’d had my share of talking for the day.

             
“We already did, remember?”

             
A rush of air left my father’s lungs and I could tell he didn’t like my response.  “Look, you know I didn’t mean what I said earlier.  Well, not the way you took it anyway so let’s move on from there.  What we need to discuss is next weekend.  There’s no way I’m leaving you here by yourself with me three hours away.”  The stern look he gave didn’t scare me.

             
I looked him straight in his eye and said, “No.  I already told you I wasn’t going.”  When I folded my arms over my chest his eyes narrowed.

             
“What do you mean no?  That’s not an option.  So, do whatever it is that you need to do to get yourself together.  Tell Ruthann you’ll be gone Thursday through Sunday and that you’ll be back to work Monday morning.”

             
I raised an eyebrow and repeated myself. “No.”  My dad flinched a little.  “I’m eighteen.  You wanted me to be responsible and I am.  I have to work.  Besides, I have no desire to go back there and I think I’m old enough to make that decision on my own.” 

             
We stared one another down.  My argument was irrefutable.  He did in fact want me to grow up and be dedicated to a job, and I was.  It wasn’t fair for him to expect me to drop everything just because he wanted me to.  For the first time, I actually felt like an adult.

             
“So what about when it’s time to leave and go back for good?  You may as well not dig your heels in too deep here.  It makes more sense for you to put your energy into making things right back home.  Don’t you agree?”

             
My foot tapped nervously as I brought the words up from the pit of my stomach, to my throat, and finally to my mouth.  “I’m not so sure I’m going back.”  Unable to meet his gaze, I had to imagine what his expression was. 

             
He laughed mockingly.  “And just how do you intend to make it out here on your own?”

             
I shrugged.  “I have a job.”

             
“Ok, so that’ll cover …..what?  The groceries?  What about the rent, and the lights, and the gas, and let’s not mention that you don’t have a car.  You gonna walk to work every morning?”

             
I rolled my eyes.  “Have you even wondered what I’ve been doing with the money I make?”

             
He looked at me funny.  “Enlighten me.”

             
“Saved it all.”

             
“All of it?”             

             
I nodded.  “Helps a little that there’s nothing to spend money on around here, but yeah.  It’s in a shoebox under my bed.”

             
A faint smile crossed his face even though he didn’t intend for it to.  “What’re you saving it for?”  I could tell that he was surprised and a little impressed.

             
“Ruthann’s car.  Remember I told you she was selling it?’

             
He nodded.  “I remember.”

             
“I’m already up to $960, so I’m gonna offer her a thousand when I get paid next week.” 

             
“$960,” he repeated to himself.  The anger that was present in his tone when I first walked in was gone now.  He smiled again and lifted my chin in his hand.  “Save your money.  Find out how much she wants for it and I’ll buy it for you.”  He paused.  “You’ve earned it.”

             
I smiled back.  “Does this mean I’ve earned permission to stay home next weekend too?” 

             
He raised an eyebrow and the smile faded a little.  I held my breath waiting for him to deliberate.  When he rolled his eyes and shook his head, I already knew his answer and started celebrating before the words actually came out.  “Listen to me good, these are the rules: lock up every night, call me every night before you go to bed, and no boys in this house.” 

             
My heart fluttered.  “Dad, there are no boys around here,” I lied.

             
He knew better than to believe that.  “Yeah, whatever, Solei.  What about that one that came into the store today when I was there?  He definitely comes around for more than just flowers.”  If I hadn’t been so mad at Jolon I probably would’ve smiled.

             
“There’s nothing to worry about with him,” I breathed and turned on my heels to walk to my room.  “Trust me on that one.”

             
“Yeah, ok.  Just make sure you tell whatever his name is not to be sniffing around my door while I’m gone.  You got me?”  He called out behind me.

             
I waved my hand nonchalantly.  “Yeah, got it.”

             
“And we’re not done talking about this nonsense about you not going back home.  You’re not ready to live on your own, Solei.”

             
I rolled my eyes and watched my feet as I paced to my room slowly.  When I shut my door, I tossed the covers I was carrying to the floor and sprawled out on my bed.  This was one day that I couldn’t wait to put behind me for so many reasons.  Luckily, all the crying I’d done left me mentally and physically exhausted.  I was sure I’d dream about one or all of the day’s ordeals, but I couldn’t help that.  However, I preferred for my unconscious thoughts not to be of Jolon.  I’d wasted enough time and energy on him and decided that I was officially done.  If he chooses to, he can do this dance by himself for as long as he wanted.  But quite frankly, my feet were getting tired.

Chapter Eight

              Typically when I arrive at the shop early in the morning, Ruthann’s waiting at the counter alone going over business from the day before or returning phone calls and things like that.  But today, there were about fifteen people standing around, all giving their two cents and making demands.  Amidst the hustle and bustle, it was clear that everyone was directing their questions specifically at one girl who stood across from Ruthann seemingly more stressed than the rest.  Her elbows were resting on the glass top, her face buried in her forearm.  Every time someone made a suggestion, she responded with a monotone, “Do whatever you want,” or “I don’t care anymore.” 

             
Ruthann looked up from what she was writing and smiled when she saw me, probably relieved to have me there to help.  I approached the counter and squeezed past the crowd quickly and then reached for the yellow notepad and pen Ruthann had waiting for me.  At the top of the first sheet the words “Stone/Henderson Wedding” were written.  Is that what this madness was?  A wedding?  Again, I looked around at all of the women’s faces.  They were indeed those of mothers, sisters, aunts, and cousins all trying to add their input toward an event that had very little to do with them.  I looked down at the slender, dark-haired girl who’d collapsed on the countertop, lying there overwhelmed and trying to drown out the voices around her.  It was then that she moved her head slightly to the left and I could see that her arm was wet with tears – they’d driven her to crying already.  A woman off to the right yelled out something about corsages and another woman off to the left asked about an aisle runner and the bride-to-be had run out of responses.

             
Over the group, I could hear the girl sobbing a little but the others were so engrossed in the decision making that they didn’t even seem to notice. My first thought was to provide her with a means of escape from the drama, but I hesitated because she was a stranger to me.  Maybe it wasn’t my place to intervene.  Ruthann saw me deliberating and nodded, encouraging me to step in.  My hand hovered in the air for a few seconds before finally patting the girl lightly on her shoulder to get her attention.  I waited for her to wipe her eyes and then she looked up, revealing her face to me for the first time.  I felt sorry for her; she’d definitely reached her limit.  I leaned down and whispered into her ear.

             
“Can I get you some water or something?  You can sit in the back while they sort all this out if you want?”

             
She smiled weakly with her large, childlike brown eyes and then nodded, following behind me closely and never looking back to see if anyone was questioning why she was leaving.  Obviously she didn’t care what they thought at this point.  The room behind us grew silent as I imagined her family wondered amongst themselves why she was abandoning them.  The silence didn’t last long.  Before I could even shut the door to the back room good, their loud overbearing voices picked up at full volume right where they’d left off.  As soon as the girl – or should I say young woman now that I’ve seen her face – was away from them and in the cooler air of the office, she calmed down.  She finished the water I’d given her and then took a deep breath.

             
“You alright?”

             
She nodded and pushed her hair back with both hands.  “They won’t even let me get a word in!”  She said through clenched teeth.  “This is
my
wedding and I can’t even make small decisions like what flowers I want to carry down the aisle.  They’ve been doing this to me the entire time.”

             
“How long have you been engaged?”

             
“Just a few months, but still……every time I nail down the colors or the location or the reception menu, someone thinks they know better than me and then we start all over again.  Perfect example; I wanted to have the wedding at a cathedral about twenty minutes outside of Conway.  It’s perfect – perfect size, center aisle like I want, great natural lighting, but my aunt insisted on me getting married at the church across the bridge because that’s where
everyone
in our family got married.”  I could picture it in my head.  It was the one Elan took me to with him when he had to drop the key to the excavator off with Jolon.  The young woman shook her head in frustration.  “It’s just all really stupid if you ask me.  They’re being so traditional about everything rather than letting me do this my way.  Me and Gregg are the furthest thing from traditional, but you’d never know it by looking at the wedding stuff stored at his house.  It’s all so…….
plain
– nothing at all like we imagined.”

             
I shrugged and did my best to help her see the bright side of the situation.  “I know it feels like they’re in the way, but your family just seems really excited.  They just want what’s best for you.”  That sounded like the best advice to give to someone I didn’t really know all that well – a generic, cookie cutter answer.

             
She stared at the ceiling and rolled her eyes.  “They just enjoy running my life actually.  My happiness has very little to do with it.” She reached for a tissue on the corner of Ruthann’s desk and blew her nose loudly.  “They’re sucking the joy right out of this I swear.  I’m supposed to feel like a princess and have people waiting on me hand and foot and doing everything they can to make it special for me. Isn’t that how this is supposed to go?  They’re like a pack of hyenas as soon as they hear anything about the wedding.  Everyone thinks that they know best so they argue about everything and I never get to give my input.  I’m sick of it.”  She took a long, deep breath and focused her eyes on the modest engagement ring on her finger.  There was so much on her mind that she wasn’t going to share with me because I was virtually a stranger up until about ten minutes ago.  “Maybe this is a sign that I’m not supposed to be doing this.”