Red Sun (22 page)

             
Elan smiled and touched my hand, obviously thinking I was naïve.  “He likes you, Solei.  A
lot
.”

             
“What?  No,” I protested.

             
He laughed.  “Yeah, and he has it bad.”  In a strange way I was relieved that Elan had figured this out; it made me feel a little less crazy and a little less like I’d made this whole thing up in my head.  It was Jolon who was mistaken, not me.  His feelings were real enough for his own brother to see it.

             
“Does he know what you suspect?”  I asked, still not confirming anything.

             
He shook his head smiling.  “No, and I’d never tell him.  It’d only embarrass him.  He has to know how I feel about you by now and he’d never come at you in the wrong way, so there’s really no point.”  His smile grew.  “If I can’t trust my own brother who can I trust, right?”

             
His words were like a dagger in my chest.  “Right,” I replied.

             
“That’s one thing about Jolon; he’s got to be the most faithful, honest person I’ve ever met.  It’s just a crush; he’d never act on it.  Trust me,” Elan assured me, although I knew the truth.  He was wrong,
very
wrong.   Looking into his trusting eyes made me understand why Jolon felt so strongly about not hurting him.  Trust like Elan’s is hard to find; people don’t often give others the benefit of the doubt like this.

             
“I knew it that day you came over to bring that sample for Ruthann – because of how he followed you out to apologize for pissing you off.  If there’s one thing I can say about my brother it’s that he
never
apologizes – because he doesn’t make mistakes.  He doesn’t lie, cheat, steal – nothing.  Even when he hurts someone’s feelings, he doesn’t apologize because he feels justified in whatever he did or said.  The words ‘I’m sorry’ simply aren’t in his vocabulary.”  There was a long pause.  “But for some reason he cared enough about you that he chased you down.”

             
“If you thought he liked me so much, what made you approach me at the shop that day?”  I didn’t realize how my question could come across until I said it.

             
Elan’s lighthearted smile let me know that he didn’t take my statement the wrong way.  He shrugged before answering.  “I did ask him about it, but he said that you two weren’t even friends. Granted, he probably didn’t realize I was asking because I wanted to ask you out, but……”  He shrugged again.  “If he wasn’t gonna make a move, I was.  A girl as pretty as you is only gonna be single for so long. I’m not one to wait around and watch someone take what I want simply because I don’t have the nerve to take it myself.”  I couldn’t help but to wonder if those were his exact feelings toward his brother.

             
I smiled.  “You know what they say about the early bird.”

             
Elan nodded.  “My thoughts exactly.”

             
It seemed silly at this point to still believe that he had ulterior motives; all we’d done this far is talk – exactly like he said.  I relaxed a little more and slid down to lie beside him.  One of his arms was behind his head and the other was resting on his stomach – I took that one and stretched it away from his body so that I could lean my head back on it.  He watched me, smiling the whole time.

             
“Comfortable?”

             
“Almost,” I replied, pulling the excess blanket around me and then scooting closer to his side.  When I stopped moving, Elan wrapped his arm around my shoulder, caressing it slowly.

             
He yawned.  “So, I know you and Jo kind of got off to a rough start, but…..have you guys ever talked about why?  I mean, people generally don’t just hate each other for no reason like that.”

             
I pulled the cover up a little more.  “Mmmm…..he came into the shop that day and was just really rude.  He just had this chip on his shoulder.”  Of course Jolon and I had already discussed the real reason behind his behavior, but I couldn’t disclose such things to Elan.

             
“Hm…I thought he said something about you two meeting at the lake before he came into the shop.  Wasn’t that the whole reason you got mad when he followed you out to the car that night.  He started to say something and you got up to leave.”  From Elan’s tone and the slightest hint of hesitation in it, I realized that this was something that had been on his mind but until now he wasn’t comfortable asking these questions.

             
My body went rigid; I was sure he could tell that I was abnormally still – too still to be unintentional.  “Yeah…..you’re right.  But we didn’t meet really, we just…….saw each other.”

             
“Hm….,” he said again, causing my heart to skip a beat.  “You were on the reservation?”
              I shook my head.  “No, I was over near my house.  He was across the river on the reservation.”

             
I could tell that Elan was trying to dig deeper because he wanted to know what about that moment was significant enough to create a problem; especially since he now knows that my first encounter with his brother didn’t involve an exchange of conversation.

             
“I don’t get it,” he finally breathed.             

             
“There’s nothing to get really.  I saw him.  Then he saw me.  End of story.”  Even I didn’t believe that.

             
“Was he swimming?”  Elan asked.

             
I nodded.  “Well, I was there first and then he showed up to swim.”

             
Elan was silent.

             
“So, yeah, that was it,” I added nervously, hoping to end the conversation.

             
“Was he alone?”

             
“Yes, but…..”

             
“He didn’t see you before he got in the water?”  The question was a loaded one, but I wasn’t sure why it would be. 

             
“No…...why?”

             
I lifted my eyes a little to stare at Elan’s face, but there was no expression there to gage.  He cleared his throat and took a breath while I continued to lie there motionless and anxious, wondering what he was thinking now.  His tone was bleak when he responded.  “Because, I know my brother.”

             
He knew – he didn’t even have to spell out what he was thinking.  Elan was well aware of why me and Jolon’s first meeting was so awkward.  I felt like I should jump in and say something, but what exactly would that something be? 
Sorry I forgot to mention that I stood behind a tree like a stalker and watched your brother swim a few naked laps
…….Yeah, that would go over real well.

             
It seemed like everything got quiet, even the music was quieter now all of a sudden.  “Guess I get why it was such a big secret now,” he said evenly, no hint of any detectable emotion.

             
The once cool breeze now felt like the breath of a nearby fire blowing right on the back of my neck. The temperature had not changed, it was shear embarrassment. I pushed the cover off of me and wiped the droplets of sweat from my hairline.  If I hadn’t thought it would make him too suspicious, I would’ve backed away a little so that I could cool off faster. 

             
I had to say something.  “Are you mad?”  It was a stupid, pointless question, but that was all I could think to say.  I suppose before I said anything else I needed to at least know that much.               

             
Elan sucked in another deep breath and let it out while he answered.  “No, not mad.  Uncomfortable?  Yes.  But…..not mad.”  He was quiet again.

             
“If it makes you feel any better, I was really far away and couldn’t really see much,” I lied. 

             
At first he didn’t respond.  I breathed a sigh of relief when a crooked smile crossed his lips – a smile meant that he wasn’t gonna over-think this.  I watched his lips move when he spoke. 

             
“Not sure how I feel about my girl knowing what my brother’s working with, but hey…..”  He shrugged nonchalantly.

             
I smiled and raised an eyebrow.  “Your girl?” 

             
Beneath the pale moonlight I could see him feeling unsure of himself.  “Well…….I didn’t mean it like that.  I mean……I know we haven’t talked about it and made anything official or anything like that, but……..” He coughed a little.  “But maybe I’m hoping that one day…….you won’t just be a friend.”

             
I didn’t know what to say to that.  I’d be telling one huge lie if I said that I didn’t like him.  I liked him a
lot. 
Aside from my phantom feelings for Jolon, I had no reason to hold back.  I can’t deny that I feel something for him too, but he’s made it more than clear that nothing is ever going to happen between us, so what am I waiting on?  Pining over Jolon is like crying over spilled milk; you’re never gonna get to drink it because there’s no way to contain it.  It sucks sooooo much more when you’re as thirsty for it as I am. 

             
Elan leaned his head to the side and continued to stare at me.  “You couldn’t possibly know how beautiful you are,” he breathed.  The words rolled off his tongue so fluidly that they seemed to drip from his lips like honey.  He had my complete attention.

             
“Thank you,” I whispered as I leaned my body in to his a little more than before. 

             
He smiled.  “You’re welcome.  How many days has it been since I’ve seen you anyway?”

             
“Mmmm…I think like three or four.  Why?”

             
He looked back up at the sky.  “It just felt like more than that,” he replied.  His lips parted like he was going to say something.  After a few seconds passed, he started again.  “I’ve just been thinking…..”

             
“Bout what?”  I asked.

             
He shrugged.  “Mmmmmmm…….I was thinking that maybe you’d be willing to make a commitment.”

             
My eyes bucked, luckily he wasn’t watching me.  “Like what kind of a……commitment?”  I asked hesitantly.  I felt funny – a little dizzy.

             
Elan laughed quietly.  “Chill out; I’m talking about a short-term commitment – as in the rest of the week short-term.  I just want you to commit to spending every evening this week with me when you get off work.  You know, since you’ve been hiding from me the past few days and all.  I’m on……a bit of a personal mission,” he said smiling.

             
I smiled back.  “What sort of a personal mission?”

             
“If I told you, it wouldn’t be so personal would it.”

             
“Touché,” I replied.  I looked over at him and took a deep breath.  “Alright, you’ve got my word.  I’m yours…..at least for the rest of the week,” I added smiling.

             
He leaned over and kissed me once, and then lightly again with a smirk on his lips.  “That’s all I ask…..for now anyway.”

Chapter Nine

              I found that I was a little more eager than usual to get off work today than most days.  The promise of seeing Elan soon was definitely the cause.  With the exception of Friday because of Ruthann’s date, I’d be with him every night.  What his plans were, I was unsure, but that didn’t change the fact that I was excited.  As soon as I saw him pull in, I felt my cheeks tighten with a smile.  Quickly, I hugged Ruthann goodbye and jogged out to his truck carrying a backpack with a jacket and a pair of sweatpants to slip into in case it got cold tonight.  He wouldn’t tell me anything he had planned so I had no clue how to dress.  I wore jean shorts to work with a white tank top so hopefully it wasn’t anywhere I’d have to be dressed up.

             
“Ready?”  He asked, watching me snap my seatbelt and get adjusted. 

             
I nodded, trying to hide how happy I was to see him. He looked better than usual if that’s at all possible.  I think it was the hat – I’m a sucker for a guy wearing his hat backwards.  Don’t ask me why that’s sexy, it just is.  His white wife-beater was tucked into his dark colored jeans, showing off his body. When he took off going in the direction of the bridge I started paying attention to every road he turned down with hopes that I could guess our destination.  Left, right, right again, then a slight left.  Once we got to the highway I gave up.  I’d only traveled that far once or twice since living here so I figured we were headed somewhere new which made me anxious. 

             
Elan loved every minute of it.  He knew how badly I wanted to know and that gave him more reason to keep the secret.  Every so often he’d look over at me and smile at the puzzled look on my face.  I’d roll my eyes and try to keep a straight face.  After driving the long, dark stretch of road, we finally came to an exit that looked like it led to the same nothingness we’d just driven through.  There were no street lights, very few road signs, and no houses or buildings for miles it seemed.  When we came to an intersection, he made a right.  Down at the end of the road were lights – lots of lights; almost like a small city.  That had to be where we were going because there wasn’t anywhere else to go from what I could see.  I turned toward Elan and raised a curious eyebrow at him as he drove silently toward the glow. 

             
“Still not gonna tell me?”

             
He shook his head ‘no’ but never opened his mouth.  I folded my arms over my chest and watched the lights get brighter as we drove closer to their source.  Shapes started to form.  I stared through the darkness and couldn’t make out the sharp edges of buildings or the pitched roofs of houses.  Eventually, it became clear that the lights were moving – some up and down, some in circles, but they were definitely moving. 

             
“Figure it out yet?”

             
“So far the only thing I’ve ruled out is a UFO landing sight.  I’m stumped.”

             
Elan laughed.  “Well, did you rule out a fair?”

             
My eyes lit up.  “Way out here?  How cool!” 

             
He gave a confirming nod.

             
It had been years since I’d been to one.  The last two years when one came to my town I was grounded.  In fact, the last time I’d been was when I was about ten or eleven.  Now that I had an idea, I could see the spinning rides and got excited; I think it surprised Elan to see just how much.

             
Ten minutes or so passed and we were in a parking space turning off the engine.  With the windows down I could already smell the popcorn, hotdogs, and funnel cakes.  I didn’t bother waiting for Elan to help me out the truck.  I doubled back before closing my door and grabbed a twenty from my purse just in case he wasn’t planning to pay my way – just in case.  He was waiting for me at the back of the truck with his hand extended to take mine. 

             
There were people everywhere – way more than I would’ve expected way out in the middle of nowhere like this.  The sounds of screams and loud music flooded my senses along with the smells and bright lights.  I squeezed Elan’s hand tighter and wrapped the other around his forearm.  The smile on his face reflected his contentment with having me so close.

             
“Two wristbands, please,” Elan said, reaching into his pocket to grab his wallet.  Naturally, I did the same.  We’d never been anywhere where money was required other than to a restaurant for dessert once and I didn’t want him to feel like he
had
to pay for me.  When I slid my hand in my back pocket, he looked at me like I was crazy.

             
“Seriously?  Put that away,” he demanded, not even a hint of a smile.  I did as I was told and watched him pay the man, keeping it secret that I found the way he’d handled that rather sexy.

             
The man in the booth attached a band to me and then to Elan before smiling and telling us to enjoy our evening.  I didn’t know where to start – everything looked like so much fun that I already had a running list of what I wanted to do.  We stood still a minute while Elan put his wallet away and then started walking again.  Kids rushed past every so often, screaming and racing toward rides.  If I wasn’t self-conscious about what he’d think I probably would’ve done the same thing. 

             
I spotted a stand where a young girl was selling cotton candy.  Elan saw me staring and didn’t even have to ask if I wanted some.  He instantly changed our direction and made a B-line for the stand.  He ordered two, one pink and one blue and then found a nearby bench to sit on.  The pink bag, he passed to me; the blue one he opened and passed me a handful.  I raised my bag in the air to let him know that he didn’t have to share.  He shook his head.  “Take that one home with you,” he explained, offering me the portion again.  I smiled and accepted it, watching his mouth closely when he raised the candy to his lips.  If I’d had the nerve I would’ve kissed him again, imagining the sweetness while I stared. 

             
“You do rides, right?”  He laughed a little when he asked.

             
“What?  I get on everything.”  I said boastingly.

             
“Just checking.  I mean, we both know how you are about outside.  I wasn’t sure if that was an exception or if you’re scared of
everything
.”  His tone was a little mocking.

             
“No, Elan……I’m not scared of everything.  And I’m not scared of outside either.  I’m just not a fan of getting bitten by bugs or getting dirty.  There’s a difference.”

             
He rolled his eyes.  “Yeah, yeah, yeah……whatever you say.”  He threw the empty bag away and stood.  The closest ride was the bumper cars so we did that first.  I chose the pretty red one and he chose the black one that he insisted was faster than the rest while we watched the two rounds before our turn.  I belted myself in while staring at him across the track.  The childlike enthusiasm on his face made me smile and I couldn’t even concentrate to fasten myself in. 

             
“Need some help with that, miss?”  The attendant asked, noticing me struggling.

             
“Huh…..oh, sure.  Thanks.”  I was mildly aware of the person assisting me while I continued to stare at Elan.  I took a breath when my heart fluttered and I felt lightheaded.  Every second that passed deepened my feelings for him.  I was starting to fall – further and faster than I was willing to admit.  While I watched him, he noticed me and smiled.  The screaming, the sound of bells going off on the nearby games, the thundering rollercoaster behind us – all of it went silent.  It was like everything was in slow motion while I got lost in his eyes.  It wasn’t until someone slammed into the side of my car that I snapped out of my daze, quickly trying to get my bearings before pressing on the gas.

             
I felt a rush of wind sweep past as I picked up speed.  Elan was nowhere in sight so I stopped looking and tried to move out of the corner I was jammed in.  One after another, random people sent my car flying in every which direction.  Not paying attention from the beginning had lasting affects apparently – I couldn’t seem to get it together.  I flew forward with force when someone crashed into the back of me, way harder than was necessary.  When I whirled, mouth fixed to go off on the driver, I immediately changed my snarl into a smile realizing that it was Elan.  Just as I was getting ready to go after him, the bell sounded signaling the end or our turn.

             
“You are soooooo lucky they just saved you.”  While we walked away from the ride, I tightened my ponytail holder on my braids.

             
Elan laughed and threw his arm around me.  “I bet,” he replied cynically.  “Where to now?”

             
I looked around – Tilt-o-Whirl, Matterhorn, Ferris Wheel.  “Ferris Wheel,” I stated, taking his hand to lead him faster before the line got much longer.  People were boarding slowly as the attendant let the last group of riders on one at a time.  It wasn’t long after we’d gotten in line that it was our turn to get on.  Being the gentlemen that he is, Elan let me in first and then sat beside me and secured the bar over our laps.  After checking it twice, he put his arm back around my shoulders.  The wheel whirred and creaked a little when it began to move up so that another couple could get on.  I looked out over the crowd while we sat still, suspended in air, swinging my feet a little.  It caught me off guard when I felt Elan’s fingers wrap around my ankle and graze the bottom of my foot when he slide my flip flops off before letting go. 

             
“Don’t wanna lose them do you?”  He asked, giving a half smile when he sat back up and stuck my shoes beside him on the seat. 

             
“Thanks,” I said, trying unsuccessfully to speak the words louder than a whisper.  Every time he touched me some place new I lost my breath – apparently my feet were no exception to the rule.  Any uncharted area on my body seemed to short circuit when his skin came in contact with mine.  He looked away nonchalantly while I did my best to stop thinking about how much I liked him touching me.

             
By the time the ride was set in motion, we were halfway to the top of the wheel.  From there we could see the entire fair and even the truck parked in the lot.  Being there made me feel like a kid again.  That’s huge considering the fact that the latter part of my childhood, I’d felt like anything
but
that.  This was how life was supposed to be.  Easy.  Fun.  Exciting.  With one perfectly timed and executed date, he’d reintroduced me to the simplicity I’d forgotten about so long ago.  Up there in the air, above everything that is or ever was wrong, I felt like a new person.  It took me back to how things were before I lost everything that ever mattered to me.  For the first time in my life, I forgot for a fraction of a second about the pain that I carry around, weighing down my heart on a daily basis.  And it was because of him……

             
When I smiled at Elan, he had no idea why.  I’m sure he figured I was just having a good time, which I was, but it was so much more than that.  I leaned in and kissed his cheek, thankful to him for giving me a break from my usual thoughts and feelings of gloom.  I know he’d never guess what that night meant to me, but
I
knew.  Whatever this mission was that he’d admitted to being on, I assumed it had something to do with me and trying to persuade me into feeling a certain way about him.  And if that was the case…..it was working.

             
When the ride stopped, he helped me off and latched onto my hand instinctively, like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to touch me.  I can admit, it felt right to me too.  While we walked, I looked him over from head to toe and smiled to myself, turning away before he caught me.  I could stare at him all day.  While I ate.  While I worked.  While I slept, if that was at all possible.  I could never grow tired of watching him.

             
“We should take pictures,” he suggested, pointing at the photo booth up ahead.  Before I could answer, he was already leading me that way.  He pulled back the curtain and sat inside, pulling me down onto his lap while he put the money in the machine.  He fixed his hat and looked at the lens of the camera.

             
I couldn’t help it – I burst out laughing while I watched him.  “What are you doing?  This isn’t a photo shoot, weirdo.”

             
“A picture lasts forever, right?”

             
I was still laughing a little.  “I guess.”

             
“Well…..I can’t have a picture of me out there that looks bad.  Besides, I don’t want anyone to look at it and ask who that bum is in the picture with the model.”

             
I rolled my eyes.  “Whatever, Elan.  Just hurry up.”

             
He messed with the hat one last time and then asked me if I was ready.  When I gave him the ok, he pressed the button. 

             
“Ok…..serious face,” he instructed quickly before the camera flashed.  I hurried to straighten my expression – no smiles, just looking straight into the camera.  Elan called it the sexy one.