My Side (16 page)

I knew that to be
true. I’d seen the demons release the beast in Lochlan. His demons swirled in
his eyes.

Dean got the door for
me. He walked to the counter, “What should I get you?”

I shook my head, “You
don’t have to buy my coffee.”

He smiled, “Of course,
I do. I just bored you to tears with my eye speech. Now tell me, so I don’t
order the wrong thing.”

My chest burned
instantly. Lochlan always ordered for me, against my will. I opened my mouth to
say caramel macchiato, but all that was there was, “Soy vanilla latte, please.”
It was the drink Lochlan always got us both—regardless of the fact, I
didn’t like soy milk much. I got us a table and sat down. I made sure I got one
with a few chairs. I knew Gerry would be there any minute.

Dean carried over my
drink and sat down. He took off his sweater, and I noticed how attractive he
really was. His body was tight and fit. He was tanned and athletic looking. I
smiled and imagined what it would be like to date someone like him. He was my
kind of perfect.

“So did I tell the
class the joke my grandmother emailed me this morning?” he sipped from his
drink.

I shook my head,
lifting my cup to sip.

He laughed before he
told the joke, making me laugh. It made the sexy mature man seem cute and
adorable.

He calmed himself,
“Okay, why do male attorneys usually wear tight shirt collars and ties?” He
snickered. I shrugged. He fought his
laugh,
“It keeps
their foreskins from creeping up and covering their faces.”

I laughed out loud.
Hearing him say foreskins was weird.

Dean was almost
crying.

“Your grandma?” I
asked.

He nodded, wiping the
tears in his eyes. He sighed, “She’s a crazy old bitch.”

I laughed harder but
Dean stopped. He looked up, red-faced instantly. I turned to see Lochlan
hovering above me with a savage look in his eyes. I smiled, “Hi.”

His eyes never left
mine. I hadn’t seen this face since we’d left Gerry’s that night. It made me
nervous to see the beast so close to the surface in a coffee shop. I pointed,
“This is my professor, Dean Hamilton. Dean this is my friend, Lochlan Barlow.”

Dean stood, putting a
hand out. He looked like he might cry.

Lochlan didn’t take
his eyes off of me. I looked behind him to Gerry at the till. He grabbed the
drinks and hurried over. I pointed to him, “And this is the drummer of Thin
Ice, Gerry Ronson. Gerry this is my professor, Dean Hamilton.”

Gerry put the two
coffees down and shook his hand quickly, “Lovely to meet you.”

I grabbed Lochlan’s hand
and squeezed, “Can I talk to you outside?” I smiled at Dean and Gerry, “Excuse
us.”

Gerry nodded,
understanding the awkwardness, and put a hand on Dean’s arm, “So a professor,
huh?”

I dragged Lochlan out
the door and pulled him to an alley and to a quiet spot.
It
didn’t matter where we went
,
he was Lochlan Barlow
.
People were taking our picture and watching us. I shoved him behind a dumpster
and paced for a second.

When I looked at him
he looked frozen over but he spoke softly, containing his rage, “What was that?
I thought we weren’t dating other people.”

I tilted my head, “You
haven’t kissed a single girl or fucked one stranger?”

His eyes twitched with
the guilt Dean had been talking about. I nodded, “I figured as much.” I was
shaking inside but I remained calm on the outside, “That was my teacher. I have
bent over backwards to ensure you stay calm. I do everything I can, to not make
a scene for you and your reputation. You can’t do me the same courtesy?”

He loomed over me,
“Are you fucking him?”

An astonished look
stormed across my face, “Are you hearing me?”

He stepped towards me,
forcing me to back up. My back pressed against the brick building. He bent down
low to me, “Are you fucking him?”

My lip trembled. I
nodded out of spite and hatred of the way he made me feel, “Yup.”

The switch was fast.
His face went dark. His hands balled up. I shoved him back, like an idiot, and
turned to walk away. He grabbed my arm, spinning me, “Why? Why him and not me?
He’s your teacher for Christ’s sake.” He was shaking. He was homicidal. He
wasn’t fun to toy with. He was too crazy.

I sighed, seeing the
poor choice I was making, “He’s gay,
you
idiot. I just
said it to piss you off, so you know how it feels to be jealous and insecure. I
know what you’ve been at since...
before… me and you
.
The funny part though, is now you know how it feels. Granted, he’s gay so it’s
not like I’m going to get any, but at least you know how this feels. And that
makes me petty and horrid and happy.” I covered my face with my hands, shaking
my head.

“I saw the way he
looked at me when he met me. He looked nervous.”

I flailed my arms,
shouting for all the spectators, “YOU ASSHOLE, HE THINKS YOU’RE HOT! LIKE A
SUPERSTAR! HE LIKES YOU, NOT ME! HE FOLLOWS THOSE STALKER BLOGS ABOUT YOU! HE
WAS TELLING ME ABOUT WHAT’S ON THERE, SO FUCK YOU!”

My chest was rising
and falling rapidly. I bit my lip and tried to get control of myself. I was a
hot mess, he made me crazy and out of control. I looked at him with daggers and
pointed at the café, “I guarantee he’s getting Gerry’s digits right now. He’s a
huge fan.” I covered my trembling mouth with my hands and took deep breaths
into my palms.

His body wrapped
around mine. I hated his touch. I shoved him off of me and stalked down the
alley. A guy snapped a picture of my tear-stained face, as I turned away from
the coffee shop and walked home.

I was on the couch
eating from the Ben and Jerry’s tub when he got home.

Danny had mated for
life with the blonde Gabby bitch and wasn’t there to be a buffer for me. I knew
we would be talking about it, no matter what. I was ready for him.

He looked adorable
carrying my pretty, pink Coach school bag that I’d left at the coffee shop, but
I didn’t acknowledge him. He walked over to the couch to see what I’d done.

He dropped the bag on
the couch, my side of the couch. He started to laugh, “Are you fucking kidding
me?”

I ignored him until he
took a step for me. I put my hand out, “This is my side. You stay on your side.
All your shit is there anyway.” And it was. His jeans and pop cans and water
bottles and food wrappers were all shoved to one side of the room. My side was
immaculate. The divider was a thick, black line painted onto the wall and
floor. Duct tape made the line on the couch.

He stared me down,
“You’re making me crazy. I was a fun guy before I met you. I rarely lost my
tempter or worried what girls thought or did. I had sex, I drank, I sang, and I
liked my life. You are killing me and making me insane. I’m doing things my
anger management coach would have a heart attack about.”

I shrugged, “Then I
guess we’ll be nuts together. No one is getting out of this fucking apartment
sane.” I didn’t care. Not anymore.
He’d fucked other chicks
,
I knew it
. I could practically smell them on him.

He crossed the line. I
jumped off the couch, holding my mace at him, “I told you, I won’t leave. I’ll
stay here like your fucking prisoner, but you stay on your
God-damned
side. Your stuff is on that side of the room and mine is on this one.”

He stepped into me,
calling my bluff, “Mace me. I don’t give a shit. The only fucking thing I care
about in this God-damned room is on your side.”

He sat on the couch
and pulled me down with him and sat me on his lap. I struggled, but he just
held me and whispered, “I’m sorry.”

I shook my head, “I
don’t care. I don’t fucking care.”

“I apologized to him.
Dean seems really cool. I’m sorry. I saw him looking all professional and clean
cut, like you. And you were laughing so hard and I assumed the worst. He
deserves someone like you, he’s professional and smart, and I’m not.”

I looked at him, “I
know you have your MBA, so don’t play dumb Little Drummer Boy with me. Besides,
you’ve been fucking other people, so you can’t care if I have coffee with my
teacher. I’ll do what I want and who I want.”

His eyes flickered
again, “Firstly, I will give you points for being witty, but I’m the singer not
the drummer. Secondly, I haven’t had sex since you and I.”

I saw myself in his
eyes and my heart believed him. I freed one of my arms and scoffed, “I see the
guilt.”

He sighed, “I was
drunk and a girl kissed me. I stopped it. I’m sorry. Someone posted it to a
blog and I assumed you saw it. I felt like shit.” He looked down.

I lifted his face,
staring into his eyes with burning hate, “You said you wanted me. If you wanted
me, you wouldn’t kiss other people.”

His eyes stayed true
and strong, “I want you. I’ll always want you.” I looked at my face in the
darkness of his pupils and swallowed the venomous things I wanted to say. His
eyebrows pulled together, “I am fucking trying, princess. I am, I swear. I’ve
been trying so hard to show you… to deserve you. I swear it.” He closed his
eyes and leaned his forehead against mine, “Do you really feel like a
prisoner?”

I shook my head, “No.
Sometimes it’s a little bit like Beauty and the Beast with you though. You get
so crazy and I don’t know what to do.”

He looked up and gave
me his smug smile. I pointed a finger in his face, “You call me the beast and
you’re dead.”

He laughed hard,
pulling me into him. He smelled my hair. I did the same on his neck. We
snuggled for a minute but I couldn’t take it. I pressed play for my show. I
needed there to be someone else in the room.

He took the carton
from my hand and we snuggled on the couch, watching Downton Abbey, while he ate
the rest of my ice cream. “This show is insane,” he muttered, taking a huge
bite.

I pointed at the
screen, “You missed some hot stuff,
it
was about ten
minutes before you got home. Little bit of back-door romance.”

He gave me a look,
“Anal sex? They show that on the BBC?”

I laughed, “No, like
clandestine love affairs. Like sneaking around.”

I laughed harder when
he took a bite and shrugged, “Whatever. In the South, backdoor means taking it
in ass.”

I plugged my ears, “Ewwwww.”

He grinned and
sparkled, and became the guy I couldn’t resist, even if he was saying dirty
shit.

We fell back into the
comfortable relationship we liked. I wouldn’t let him remove the paint or the
tape, even if he refused to stay on his side. Against all the odds, we became
the people we were before.
The ones who lived together
without sex and drama.
He was texting me more. It made me happy, too
happy. We were headed down the same flirty road as before. I knew the sex was
inevitable. He was being sweet and staying in the apartment with me.

The only saving grace
was that he was traveling a lot with the band. They had left for Detroit the
day before for a concert. It was his first televised concert, since the show he
had gotten kicked off of. I looked at my phone to see if he’d messaged me or
not. The girl in the chair next to me nudged
me, “You and
Lochlan Barlow still dating?”

I gave her a confused
look, “No.”

She leaned over to
another girl and whispered my answer. I looked at the girl and smiled. It was
Lise from the bar. She gave me a wave. I smiled at her. How had I not noticed
her in my class?

My head was up my ass
for sure.

After class we walked
out together, “So no more bad-boy singers, huh?”

I shook my head, “No.
We shouldn’t have ever crossed the roommate boundaries. It was stupid.” I
didn’t mention, we were currently about to take the same crash course as
before.

She winced, “Yikes.”

“Whatever, so have you
been in this class the entire time?” How had I not seen her?

She laughed, “No. I
switched out of the one on Fridays. It’s the same class and I begged and
pleaded so they let me. I had to get a job and I work Fridays, Saturdays, and
Sundays now.”

“Awesome, where?”

She gleamed, “The bar
where Thin Ice plays on Fridays. I can make five hundred in tips those three
days.”

My jaw dropped, “No
way.”

She nodded, “You want
a job? I know Brian is looking.”

I nodded, “Hell, yeah.
I don’t have anything after eleven on Fridays, I’m free from lunch on.”

She pulled her cell
out, “Call this number and ask for Brian and tell him you’re my friend.”

I looked at the number
and punched it into my phone, “Thanks, Lise.”

She shrugged, “Us hot
law majors gotta stick together. The rest of them look like trolls.”

I laughed with her,
but hated that she included me in her mean-girl mentality.