Letting go of Grace (6 page)

AFTER A WHILE I GET
up and wander around trying to find something to clean or organize. I unload the dishwasher and clean the counter tops then pace around the living room. I begin to push one couch over a bit then arrange the side table accordingly. It’s not till I have the love seat and two chairs in new positions when my phone vibrates, snapping me out of my redecoration. Walking over, shivers run down my spine when I see Aiden’s name across the screen.

“Hey.”

“You need to get over here right now. I have the keys hanging up in the garage, grab the keys to the Mercedes and get over here,” he says in distraught. His voice is scaring me. I tread back into the kitchen as he is talking and walk into the garage to find the key he is talking about.

“Aiden, what’s wrong?” I say rushing to the car.

“It’s my mom. She’s not breathing.” Pressing the button to start the car, and another to open the garage, this news stops me for a split second.

“You need to start CPR Aiden, do you know how?”

“No, you need to get here!” I can hear panic in his voice. It kills me.

“Aiden, get her on her back on a hard surface.” I pull out and start to drive. While frantically driving I explain what he should be doing as he is yelling out the directions. I can only imagine the four of them over her. Stepping on the gas I make it to her house in mere minutes. I pull in the driveway and see the front door is open. John is waiting for me. I run up to him and he takes my hand and drags me into the house. Aiden and Grant are hovering over her, and Shane is on the phone.

“Did you call an ambulance?” Shane nods as I run over to them. Checking for a pulse and not feeling one is heartbreaking for me. Aiden and Grant back off and let me get to work as my adrenaline rush kicks in. I start compressions. No one utters a word as I work on her. I don’t even have time to think about Grant being here; everything is happening so fast. I start telling them what I want them to do. They all listen to me and then relief comes in the sounds of the ambulance’s siren. I give her two breathes and immediately start compressions again. It feels like an eternity before they get in the door. I check for a pulse again and still nothing. When the EMTs barrel through the door, I already have her shirt cut open and am doing compressions. They speedily hook up the AED. Backing off, I watch as it shocks her. I get right back on her when it clears me to do more compressions. When I stop, an EMT blows air into her lungs. We all back off again, and I get hopeful when I see she finally has a pulse. It’s weak, but it is most definitely there. Relief washes over me as they put her on a stretcher. The Grace men lean against the wall watching nervously, fear overtaking their pale faces. I walk out with a paramedic filling him in on her medical history, and they follow close behind. Once she is in the ambulance Grant and Shane hop in with her. Sneaking a glimpse of Grant is the wrong thing to do because it breaks my heart. He looks so lost. I wish I was here for him the way he needs me to be, but I can’t.

“Get in,” the paramedic instructs me. Taking a big step in, I see that she crashed again. Shane gets out making room for me and we start working on her again. I don’t have time to notice the doors close and the ambulance start to drive. We work on her in unison, only talking when needed. I back off when she’s shocked again and we hit a bump which shoves me right into Grant’s lap. He catches my hips and I regain balance as I grip his hands to steady myself. She has a weak pulse again, but it’s a pulse non the less.

“What meds is she on?” I list off the long array of pills, trying to remember exact dosages. The paramedic starts an IV and I return to Mrs. Grace’s side. She opens her eyes and they are wild. Gently taking her hand in mine, I start talking to her.

“Tori, it’s Hannah. You passed out and we had to do CPR on you.” She just looks around not speaking.

“Are you in pain?” She nods ‘yes’ to me and I’m praying to God it wasn’t another heart attack. I’m hoping she is in pain from the compressions. We pull up to the hospital and jump out the back making room to get her out. I follow her all the way in before getting stopped. I look over at the paramedic.

“I’ll give you a full update when I get out. Thank you.”

Forcing a polite smile I stand there as she is taken through the emergency doors. It’s all a blur to me. The adrenaline rush is subsiding and I’m feeling drained. I’ve done this many times before, but never on someone I’ve known personally. Silently I start to pray as I look at the doors. I pray that she will be fine. God can’t be that cruel to take their mother the same night they find their father’s body. I am lost in thought till Grant startles me out of it.

“We didn’t know what to do,” he confesses.

“Aiden jumped on his phone as soon as she passed out. I had no idea who he was calling, but when he started to do CPR I was so thankful for whoever he was talking to. Then I saw you walk in the door and I knew she would be fine.”

“She’s still not in the clear.” I glance back over at the doors trying to avoid any more conversation.

“What did I do?” I dread his words as they come out. This is not the time, nor the place. He looks as though he has no idea what he did and it infuriates me.

“Not now, Grant.”

“Then when, Hannah? I’ve been trying to call you for days. All of a sudden Aiden makes a call and there you are.” I walk away from him when I see Shane, Aiden, and John walk in.

“Anything?” Aiden says looking at me, then Grant.

“She crashed again, but we got a pulse, we are just waiting.” They all gaze at me with sad, anguish filled eyes.

“Thank you, Hannah. We were beside ourselves.” John looks at me and hugs me. I feel so awkward. I hug him back and as we pull away from each other Shane takes me in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, Hannah. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble for you,” he whispers in my ear.

“It’s OK.” I scan at his face and see tears forming.

“She is going to be OK, I know it, Shane.” I give him my best confident look and smile. God owes me. He can’t take her. Aiden walks over and I hug him.

“I was frantic,” he rasps. He stares down at me.

“You did great.”

“I don’t know how you do it. You stayed calm and knew what to do without a second thought.” He runs his hands through his hair in shock from it still.

“I’m trained for this. I don’t think about it, I just do what needs to be done.”

I step back from Aiden, as all eyes go to the paramedic walking out. We all move towards him.

“She crashed again, but she’s hanging in there. She is lucky you were there.”

“I was a few minutes out, her sons started CPR. It’s them you need to thank.” I peer at Aiden as he crosses his arms over his chest and looks down.

“Well you definitely helped in the ambulance.” He puts his hand out and I shake it.

“Thank you,” he says looking into my eyes.

“No, thank you.” I smile and he smiles back then walks away.

“We should sit, it’s going to be a long night,” Shane muses. I head over and settle down. Shane follows and John, Grant, and Aiden start talking in hushed tones.

“I have a question.”

“If it has anything to do with them, don’t start.” I look at him and he gives me a puzzled look.

“No, it’s about my mom. She signed a DNR last week.” I jump up.

“She what?”

“Yeah, she gave it to me and told me to implement it when need be.” I stare at him. Even if I knew this before I wouldn’t have stopped working on her.

“Tear it up.”

“I already did,” he says smiling.

“This stays between us. She didn’t tell them.” He gets serious quick.

“What? I don’t know anything.” I give him a grin and he sits back.

“I don’t know what is going on. Grant and Aiden have been stones, but thank you for getting there so quickly.”

“I was happy to help.”

“Aiden was the first to do anything. She collapsed and he grabbed his cell. I thought he was calling an ambulance, then all of a sudden he is doing CPR. You saved her again.” He puts an arm around me and hugs me again.

“He did good,” I glace over at Aiden and I can tell they are talking about me. Each of them glance at me then look away. I wonder if he is telling Grant everything.

“What happened with Grant?” he whispers.

“I went to surprise him Thursday when he landed and he was with Ava.” I gaze over at Shane to see his reaction, and it’s just as shocked as mine was.

“What?” His voice is low and he leans closer to me.

“How do you know it was Ava?”

“Aiden told me.”

“How does he know?”

“I guess he saw it too.” I never asked him how he knew.

“I’m sorry, Hannah. What a fucking asshole.” He frowns over at Grant and leans back in his seat.

“This is why I have been team Aiden. He wouldn’t fuck with your heart.”

“He fucked my best friend.” I lean back too.

“What?” I surprised him again.

“Rebecca Shultz, he closed the deal on the merger and the deal with her.”

“I’m really in the dark about what they do.” He is shaking his head as he takes in all the information I just gave him.

“Well, Aiden wasn’t with you when he slept with her. He didn’t cheat on you.”

“So I take it you’re the glass half full kind of guy.” I grin at him and he grins back.

“I’ll always be team Aiden.”

We begin to stare at the door till a doctor comes out. When he does we jump up and rush over. When I am standing in front of the doctor he is telling them that she was in cardiac arrest, but it was the shockable kind. They are going to run tests once she is more stable. He nods politely and walks away and I feel as lost as them.

“So who wants to do the first shift?” Grant looks around and I look away when he looks at me.

“I’ll stay.” John steps towards Grant.

“I’ll come next, what time do you want me to come back?” Shane looks like he didn’t want to leave, but there was no point in all of us staying.

“Come back at seven. I’ll do overnight.” He glances over at Aiden.

“I’ll wait with you,” Aiden says. I nod my head in agreement. I don’t want to leave until I know what is going on.

“Hannah I’ll take you back to Aiden’s,” Grant says looking intently at me. How did I know he would try to get me alone?

“I’m staying. I want to know what’s going on with her.” He slips his hands in his pocket and I can see his jaw clench.

“I’ll get everyone coffee. Will you come with me?” Keeping my eyes fixed on the ground, Aiden leans into me.

“Go get it over with.” Looking into his cloudy eyes makes me want to kiss him in front of all of them just to give Grant the big fuck you, but it would be wrong if I did. All three of us are in this cluster fuck together.

“Fine.” Aiden holds out his ticket and I take it before Grant can.

I start to speed walk out the doors with Grant on my heels. I don’t want him to walk next to me because I know he will touch me and I can’t have him touch me. I’m afraid I will breakdown at his touch, and I would go back to him. I ponder this and how weak of a person I have become. Pushing it all way down deep in my soul I see to the valet guy and notice he is the same from last time we were here. It feels like a lifetime ago, but in reality it was only a few weeks ago. I stand making no effort to talk to him. I see Aiden’s car coming, and as it pulls up the valet guy gets out and Grant gets right in. Annoyed I frown at Grant as he smiles at me.

“What? I’ll drive.” Rolling my eyes I stomp around the car. I fight walking back into the hospital. I really don’t want to do this. He leans over and opens the passenger door for me and I slip in avoiding any eye contact.

“So can you tell me what I did?” he says in a cautious manner, after we get on the main road.

“What do you think?” Looking out the window I notice we are passing a Starbucks. Where are we going?

“You passed a Starbucks.” I point back.

“I know, we are going to drive around till this is fixed and you are coming home with me.” His cockiness is back and it is a major turn off.

“There isn’t enough gas in the world, Grant.”

“Really? So are you going to tell me? I don’t recall doing anything wrong.”