Letting go of Grace (3 page)

“What?”

“Nothing, I’m just not used to that.” I roll my eyes playfully and dig into the food. I eat, and eat, and eat. My body feels much better. Slowly my heart will get better. After dinner I get up to clear the table, but he is faster.

“You cooked, I clean. House rules.” I sit back down and watch him load the dishwasher. He looks so domestic doing this task. I never thought I would see the day. Getting up I walk into the kitchen. Aiden’s eyes follow me the whole time.

“You want a drink?” I get a glass out and wait for his response.

“Depends.”

“On what?” I look him over and see his grin.

“What do you have?” I see him raise his eyebrows at me. Flirty Aiden is back.

“Johnny, Jack, Jose, and Jamison.” I take the bottles out of the bag and line them up.

“I’ll have some Jamison.” I take another glass out and pour us each a glass. Handing him one we walk outside onto the patio. I sit there and look at the stars. It’s a clear night so I can make out the constellations. Aiden pulls out a cigar as he sits next to me. I watch as he lights it, and puffs away. I could go for a cigarette. I think about how long it has been since I smoked. I take another sip of the whiskey and really start to crave one.

“I could go for a cigarette.” I look over at Aiden and wait for his reaction.

“I have cloves.” I sit up.

“I love cloves.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t know you smoked,” he says giving me a weird look.

“I don’t, well I did. I quit years ago.” He gets up and comes back a few minutes later with a pack of cloves and a lighter. I take one out trying to hide my excitement. The first drag makes me lightheaded, but I take a second one. It tastes like cloves and vanilla. I lick my lips and the vanilla taste intensifies. Taking another sip of my whiskey my head tilts up letting me see my first falling star. Excitement takes over and I look at Aiden.

“Did you see that?” I blurt as I sit up.

“You see them all the time up here.” I feel envious of him. He has the best of both worlds. A place in the city and this amazing hideaway. I feel at home here. I start to think about where I should sleep tonight. I should move to another room so he can sleep in his own bed.

“So have you thought about what you are going to do?” He catches me off guard.

“About?”

“Grant.” He looks away from me and finishes his glass. I see he brought the bottle out as he pours himself more. I hold my glass out and he tops me off.

“No.” I wonder if he wants me to leave. I invited myself here and I’m putting him in the middle again.

“I can leave if you want.” I don’t look at him.

“No, that’s not what I meant. I want you to stay as long as you want. You want to stay a week, then stay a week.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure you have work to do.” I finally look at him and he puts his hand out to touch my leg.

“I’m on vacation this week.” I take his hand in mine and hold it for a few minutes. His phone rings and it brings us out of the moment as he takes it out of his pocket.

“What?” I grin. They are so much alike.

“No, why would I know where she is?” He looks over at me and smiles.

“You want me to call her?” He looks at me again and tries not to laugh.

“What did you do?” He gets still as he listens.

“Whatever.” He hangs up.

He makes a call and I watch as he leaves a message.

“Hannah, it’s Aiden. Call me.” I start to laugh as he hangs up and makes another call. He places his pointer finger over his lips and I quiet at once.

“No, she didn’t answer. I’ll call Becca tomorrow.” He hangs up and throws his phone back on a small side table. I lean back in the chair and marvel at the fact that he has my back. He kept his word and didn’t give anything away.

“I don’t want to put you in the middle, Aiden.” I should have thought this through. I’m turning two brothers against each other. Grant would be furious if he knew I was spending the weekend with Aiden, and I know Aiden still has feelings for me or he never would be doing this. Just when I think I can’t get any deeper into this, I do.

“Hannah, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do. He’s an asshole and the faster you realize this, the better off you will be.” I laugh at his comment.

“What’s so funny?” He turns and I do the same. His eyes look like stars, they look like they are glowing in the contrast of the dark night. I get lost for a minute till he squeezes my hand.

“Your mom warned me about you, not Grant.”

“She what?” He looks offended, but his mouth forms that breathtaking taking grin.

“She told me not to go near you because you go through women fast.” I think of her exact words.

“Actually, it was, you suck girls in and then spit them out. She told me you’re not the settling down type.” I know I would never tell him this if I was sober. I look at him and see his reaction.

“Well that was a little harsh.”

“Not my words, your mother’s.” I reach out and touch his arm.

“I don’t think you are like that. You just need to find your equal and you will settle down.” I pull away and look up at the sky again.

“I did, but I fucked it up.” I don’t look at him, I just nod.

“That you did, my friend. That. You. Did.” We just sit there looking out in to the night’s sky. I feel his giant hand find mine again. I think about the last few weeks and wish I could give it all back. I dwell in the drama of the Graces and decide to sleep it all off again. What the hell else am I supposed to do?

“I’m going to bed.” I walk into the house and Aiden follows. I go into his room and grab my suitcase and turn to find him in the doorway.

“Stay in here. I’ll sleep on the couch or in another room.”

“No, I’ll sleep on the couch or in another room.”

“It’s not a big deal, really.” I place my suitcase back down and he disappears out of sight. I change in to my Pjs and curl up into bed.

I’M SITTING STRAIGHT UP IN
bed in a full sweat and Aiden is beside me. I can’t catch my breath, and my eyes are blurry from the tears. Fuck. I was dreaming again. I can’t remember what I was dreaming about, and I’m guessing it’s most likely from the alcohol. It takes me a few minutes to get my bearings. Aiden is sitting with his legs and arms around me. I just stay there. The clock shows it’s two in the morning. I’ve only been sleeping an hour.

“I’m sorry.” My voice cracks.

“Don’t apologize. I thought someone was murdering you.” I lean back into his chest and lie there for a few moments. My heart feels like it was murdered. Beat to a pulp.

I wake up in his arms. He held me all night. It’s seven now and I lie there listening to his breathing. I feel a mix of so many emotions. I slide out of his arms, sit up, and stare at him. He is on top of the blanket, wearing nothing but shorts. I marvel in his beautiful body before I carefully slip out of bed and shower.

When I get out I wrap a towel around me then quietly see if Aiden is still in bed. I see he is still sleeping, and I can’t help but notice how peaceful he looks, as he sleeps. I climb back into bed and lie down next to him, studying his face. His eyes open and we stare at each other. He gently pulls me into him and I let him. He pulls the towel around me and covers the skin that was exposed, and his head lying upon my chest. I run my fingers through his soft hair. We don’t say a word, but somehow it’s what we both need. I fall asleep again in his safe arms that warm my soul. I guess he’s not such a bad guy after all.

He wakes me up with a gentle caress after he showers. As I sit up the towel falls down a bit, exposing my breasts. He just stands and stares at me. I don’t move. He crawls on to the bed and gets on top of me. I think he is going to kiss me as I lie back but he doesn’t. He just hugs me. I wrap my arms around his neck and breathe him in. I know we are trying not to do anything stupid, but it’s so easy with him. I want to kiss him and love him, but it would be wrong to do that. I have to stop playing with his heart and mine. I pull away and roll out of bed wrapping the towel tightly around me. I can feel the sexual tension rise as I get dressed. I rummage through my bag till I find a pair of capri workout pants. I will have to do some laundry tonight if we go to the gym again tomorrow.

After I’m all dressed, I meet Aiden in the kitchen. He has a granola bar and bottle of water waiting on the counter for me. I eat the quick breakfast leaning against the counter watching Aiden on his computer. I remember I placed my cell in the bowl on the coffee table so I go and fetch it out to see more missed calls from Grant, Becca, and one from Aiden. I call the kids and it makes me miss them so much. I think about leaving and going to see them for the rest of the weekend. I just don’t think I’d be very good company. As I hang up with them I see Grant calling. I send him to voicemail and shut off my phone before I place it in my bag. I catch Aiden getting up and our eyes lock. They burn into me and I would rather stay here in bed with him today, but I decide to box all of my emotions out instead.

“You ready?”

“Yes.”

As we pull into the parking lot I get excited. I jump out of the truck and meet Aiden on the side. He places his hand on my back as we walk in and he directs me right to the ring. I can see a pair of pink gloves in a box, on a stool, next to the ring.

“I got something for you.” He smiles as he hands me the box. They are hot pink and I think about how good they are going to look swinging through the air. I sit on the stool and Aiden takes his tape out of his bag, and I patiently watch him tape my hands again. For some reason this makes me think about when he said he had plans for me. I start to smile as I think about what he could do to me with the tape.

“What are you smiling about?” He is glancing intently right into my eyes.

“Nothing.” I don’t give it away.

“You can tape my hands.” He puts the tape in my hand and holds his bulky hands out. He gives me directions as I start to tape him. I finish the first hand and start on the second with less direction. When I’m done he hands me a helmet and mouth guard. I put the helmet on and place the guard in my mouth. I look silly, but I can wait to get in the ring. He ties my gloves up and it makes me smile again.

“You are up to no good in there.” He points to my head.

“You have no idea.” I grin at him and the man from yesterday walks over and helps him put his gloves on. We get into the ring and he starts out with an exercise for me. I have to bob and block his punches. I do as he says, and after half an hour we start to spar. I love it. I swing at him and he blocks, but I keep swinging. I know eventually I’ll get a good hit in and it will feel good. I let out my anger, frustration, and sadness. Everything I could possibly feel I let come out in my swings. It feeling amazing to have a release.

“Yo,” I hear and Aiden stops.

“John.” Aiden looks at me and I don’t move. I have my back to him and I don’t want to turn around.

“So who’s the new girl?” I take a deep breath and turn around.

I see him gaze at me in surprise.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He sounds mad. Just like Grant would be.

“Boxing, what are you doing here?” I give him an attitude right back.

“You have been here this whole time? Grant has been calling you every fucking five minutes trying to find you.” He glares at Aiden.

“That’s great, maybe Grant should go back being with Ava.” I lean over the side, looking down at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“I went to the airport to surprise Grant and I watched him and his new girlfriend Ava get off the plane together.” My voice is angry and John stares at me in shock.

“They’re just friends Hannah, he’s with you.”

“Oh I wasn’t aware of the fact that you kiss your friends and sleep with them.” I get out of the ring and realize I can’t get my gloves off. Aiden gets out behind me.

“No.” John shakes his head at me.

“No? So what I saw was an illusion?” I get in his face.

“I’m done with the games, John, and I would appreciate the courtesy of you not running to him and telling him you saw me.”

“Hannah I have to tell him.” He backs up.