Going Long (24 page)

She peeked one eye open at me
then. “Popeye,” I teased her. She smacked my bicep and pulled the blankets up
around her nose. “Okay, okay. I get it. I’ll brush my teeth. But
youuuuu
have got to get up.”

I yanked the blanket from the
bed, leaving her there half exposed and uncomfortable while I went into the
bathroom. “That was a jerk move,” she grumbled.

“Yeah, well, desperate times
call for desperate measures, Princess,” I said, tapping on my wrist to signal
what time it was. This seemed to get her moving quickly as her eyebrows shot up
a bit, and she jumped from the bed, pulling up her pants and running her
fingers through her hair.

“Shit, do you think anyone’s
awake?” she asked.

“No, I’m pretty sure we beat the
house up,” I mumbled through my toothpaste-filled mouth. Nolan cracked the door
open then and listened while I finished getting ready.

“Shhhhhh,” she whispered over
her shoulder. “I think we’re good.”

I followed Noles down the
hallway and to the stairs, poking at her sides and forcing her to stifle
giggles. We made it into the kitchen just in time to see Jason sliding through
the front door, coffee in hand. I slid a mug over to Nolan, and she pretended
to have just finished drinking when I picked it up from her, and asked her if
she wanted a refill with a wink. “Yes, please,” she said, grinning at me behind
Jason’s back.

The house started to fill up
with people, and Nolan slipped out unnoticed to head to the guesthouse to
shower and change, just as her parents came in to join us. Rosie started cooking
breakfast, and by the time she was done, Nolan was back.

Christmas Eve was always a
tradition at my dad’s house. Most of his buddies from college, and their
families came to the house along with some of his closest business partners.
Pops always had a big Christmas Eve gathering; I think partly to make up for
the fact that I always had to spend the actual holiday with Mom. Rosie seemed
to be in her element, serving up sausage and biscuits to the dozens of people
now filing into the house. She’d been helping my dad on Christmas Eve for
years. And the time hit me in the face when her son Edmund showed up with a
family of his own.

“Mijo, come here,” Rosie said,
squeezing my arm and turning me to follow her. “You remember Edmund? You were
probably five years old when he used to babysit you. He’s on leave for the
holidays. George couldn’t make it, but it’s nice to have one of my boys here.”

I shook Edmund’s hand, and shook
my head in disbelief. Here was this mature, grown man who I remembered looking
like a teenager. Rosie was hugging Edmund’s wife hello when a little girl with
long pigtails came running up and leapt into Edmund’s arms, burying her face
into her father’s chest. She reminded me so much of Nolan.

“Samantha, can you say hi?”
Edmund said softly in his daughter’s ear? The shy girl peered from under his
arm, and smiled at me softly before ducking back into her father’s arms.

“It’s okay, maybe next time,” I
smiled at Edmund who just shrugged his shoulders.

“She’s super shy. She’ll warm up
to you, though,” he said, patting me on the back while he walked away to join
his wife in the living room. As he did, Samantha popped her head above his
shoulder and smiled bigger now, raising her tiny hand to scrunch her fingers at
me for a covert wave. I raised my hand and gave her a small one back before
putting my finger to my mouth to give her a
shhhhh
, like it would be our
little secret.

Rosie’s family was beautiful,
and I found myself envious of her son. I walked out to the patio where I found
Nolan talking with her parents, and for the first time in weeks, my
grandmother’s ring made its way back into my thoughts, it’s weight comfortably
back on my mind.

Christmas Eve was a full day of
eating and drinking at the Johnson house. A few card games were in progress on
the back patio and, somehow, old UofA football games made their way to the big
screen TV, my dad and his college buddies camped in front of it reliving their
glory days. Nolan’s dad, Rich, seemed to like the stories, though, because he
was settled in on the sofa next to my dad, honestly interested in every word.
The scene made me laugh a little when I made my way to the front driveway to
get a little air and look for my girl.

“Hey, you see Nolan?” I asked Jason
who was leaning against the garage, smoking a cigar. He always smoked cigars on
special holidays. I don’t think he even really liked them, he just liked how
important they made him look in his own mind.

“Nope,” Jason said,
uninterested.

“Okay then, thanks…asshole,” I
said the last part a bit under my breath.

“What was that?” Jason asked,
walking up to me and stomping out his cigar on the ground. We hadn’t been kind
to one another in years, so why he was taking offense to it now baffled me.

“Look, man. I was just razzing
you, no big,” I said, backing up and turning around. Just then, I felt a fist
slam into my back, knocking the wind out of me, and sending me forward on my
feet.

“What the fuck?” I yelled,
turning around and getting my balance, my feet under me now.

“What’d you say to Dylan about
me? You tell her I’m a player? That I sleep around?” Jason was pissed, and
unreasonable.

“Dude, what the fuck are you
talking about?” I asked, holding my hands up now, ready to defend myself.

“Dylan took off this morning,
said we needed some time apart, things were moving too fast,” and as Jason
spoke, I was starting to realize something. He actually liked Dylan, maybe even
loved her. “So what did you do man? I know you said something. You hate me so
much, can’t stand my success.”

“Jason, look…I have no idea what
you’re talking about,” I said, backing off from him a little and shaking my
head in an effort to get him to calm down.

“Ooooooh, wait a minute. I
know,” he had that tone suddenly. “You were jealous. You envy me because I have
a real woman—and you’re still with some fucking girl from high school. My
girlfriend looks like a supermodel, while yours…” he let an evil laugh slip
slowly from his throat. “Yours looks like a grocery clerk…just like her fucking
mom.”

I’ve wanted to hit Jason in the
face for about a decade, but never in a million years would I have thought the
feeling of my fist smashing into his nose would feel as satisfying as it did in
that instant. If I had known, I would have done it years ago…and probably
often. Within seconds, I had Jason on the ground, and was pounding at his jaw
and chest and arms. He was scrappy, though, and had managed to wiggle out from
under me and kick me a few times, too. We were both standing in a face-off finally,
taking turns sending punches at each other’s face, circling each other like
boxers used to do in the ring, when my dad’s voice broke through the bubble
Jason and I seemed to be operating in.

“Boys! My office! Now! The both
of you!” Pops yelled, his voice bellowing and the disappointment and anger
punctuating each and every word. Jason and I turned from each other slowly,
breathless, as we walked side-by-side toward the house. Our eyes remained angry
and locked, but I realized that Nolan and her family had gathered outside now,
too. And my heart sank a bit with worry that they had heard some of Jason’s
venom. He spit a little at the ground right before we walked in the house, and
I felt satisfied knowing I made him bleed.

My dad was finally out of his cast,
which meant he could pace back and forth in front of Jason and me like we were
children. Being in his office on Christmas with a house full of family and
friends was mortifying, but I didn’t regret finally giving Jason the beating
he’d deserved.

“What the hell was that?” Dad
finally asked, leaning on his desk and crossing his arms. “Like zoo animals,
you both are. You were raised better than that. You’re brothers, start acting
like it!”

Dad was angry, angrier than I’d
seen him in my entire life. I was content to just nod my head, and apologize in
order to get the old man’s blood pressure back down to normal, but Jason
couldn’t let it rest. “Come on, Dad? Reed’s out of control. He flew off the
handle at me for no reason, sensitive pussy,” Jason said, thinking he’d just be
able to bluff his way through this, that I wouldn’t call him on it. Well, I’d
grown up since our last fight. I stood up from my chair and leaned over into
him, my face close to his.

“You disrespected the girl I
love, you asshole. You disrespected her family. You embarrass me, and I won’t
call you brother,” I said through clenched teeth, slamming back into my seat
and folding my arms again in an effort to control my anger.

Jason just rolled his eyes at my
words and let out a big sigh. I watched as my father stared at him for a long
time, finally drawing Jason’s attention. “What?” Jason asked, rolling his
shoulders as if he were innocent. “Oh come on, Pops. He’s being sensitive, and
stupid.”

Dad cut him off then. “Just shut
up, Jason,” Dad said, his voice calmer now, but his words still carrying a
bite. “I don’t know where I failed you, but I’m sorry.”

Jason was looking at the floor
now, his eyes a little glassy, but his arms still crossed like mine, fighting
everything. “Did you hear me?” Dad asked, forcing Jason to look at him. “I said
I’m sorry. Son, I taught you everything I know about business. And man…you are
one hell of a businessman. You’re better than me.”

Jason scoffed at my dad, looking
down, embarrassed now.

“No, Jason. I’m serious. You are
a better businessman than me,” Pops said, holding his gaze level. “But Reed’s a
better
man.
And it’s my fault. I didn’t teach you enough about that. And
I’m the one to blame. But I hope like hell you can come out the other end of
this, because if you don’t, you’re going to live a sad life, full of anger and
resentment. And you’re going to be alone.”

Our dad let his words hang there
in the air, the heaviness a suffocating blanket on the three of us. Dad took
turns looking each of us in the eyes, his face hard, and heartbroken. Jason and
I sat still, our eyes locked straight ahead, not ready to acknowledge one
another. When it almost became unbearable, Dad pushed off from the edge of the
desk and reached for the door to leave us there alone. “You two take your time.
Figure this shit out. When you’re done, we’ll have Christmas,” he said, closing
the door behind him.

Jason and I sat there in silence
for minutes, careful not even to make a sound with our breathing. I was the
first to break, turning my head slowly to look at him. And when I did, I saw
the thin wet streaks left behind by the few tears he was unable to keep inside.
Something had gone wrong in my brother’s life. I didn’t know what it
was—maybe he’d seen more of my parents’ fights, maybe it was the end of
his football career, and part of it was probably having my success constantly
shoved in his face—whatever the trauma, it had left behind some heavy
scars. But my Dad? Boy, he just went right in to cut them open. I hoped they’d
heal better the second time.

Suddenly feeling guilty, I
nudged my brother’s arm with my own. “Sorry for the sucker punch,” I said, also
a little proud of how hard I’d fought him. He was still my big brother, after
all. He chuckled a little and rubbed his jaw.

“You nailed me,” he said, still
not ready to look me in the eye. He looked down, and we were quiet for what
felt like a full minute. “I deserved it.”

Knowing the best thing I could
do at this point was to leave my brother alone, I stood to my feet and patted
his shoulder with my hand. “Yeah, you did. But I’m still sorry,” I said, then I
left him there with his thoughts.

Nolan helped me clean up the
scratches and cuts on my face in the bathroom upstairs, never asking for
details. I was pretty sure she’d heard more than I wanted her to, but she
didn’t seem fazed by any of it. By the time we made it downstairs, Jason had
left my father’s office and was now sitting outside on the back patio alone. A
few of my father’s friends joined him as the afternoon wore on, and by evening,
he was talking and smiling again. But I had a feeling he was still chewing on
my father’s message, and I could tell it had affected him, saddened him. And it
made me sad, too.

 Dad got a fire going as
the sun set, and everyone had finally gathered on the sofas, chairs, and floor
in the living room. It was gift exchange time—Dad’s tradition was always
that everyone brings a gift fit for anyone in the room, and we all take turns
picking and stealing, sort of like a
white elephant
gift party, but with
things you’d actually want. Last year I ended up with a hundred bucks.

Before we started drawing
numbers, Rosie walked around and handed everyone a glass of champagne. I gave
her a funny look when she handed a glass to Nolan and me, and she just smiled,
and told me to wait to drink it. “Your father wants to make a toast,” she said,
moving on to serve the rest of the guests. Nolan and I just shrugged at each
other and leaned back into the sofa to wait for everyone else.

Dad cleared his throat when
everyone had been served, somehow able to make a noise loud enough to quiet the
entire room. “I know, I know. Buck wants to talk more, you’re all rolling your
eyes,” my dad joked, and everyone chuckled fondly. My dad could be long-winded
when he wanted to be. “I promise, though, I’ll keep this short. I have some
important things to say on this day. A day that has always been about family to
me,” my dad turned to look at Jason, and then to me, raising his glass a
little.