Going Long (20 page)

I chuckled to myself again,
looking down and shaking my head. “Yeah, you’re right,” I said, looking back at
him, locking my gaze to his. “I don’t own her. But neither do you. And when you
spun that little tale the other night, you weren’t thinking of Nolan. You were
thinking of yourself, and how you could get me out of the way so you could make
your play. Genius, really. I mean, damn, I can’t believe I fell for it! But
shit didn’t really work out like you wanted. Did it, Gavin?”

We stared at each other for
seconds after I spoke. He was thinking of his next move, what to say. But I
knew he was out of the picture. Fuck, he was never in the damn picture in the
first place. He was a blip in my girl’s emotional meltdown. And he’d taken
advantage of her, and I wanted to knock his goddamn teeth out.

“I told Nolan I’d wait. She’s
just getting over you, but she and I make sense, and you know it,” he said, his
words flaming the fire in my chest, forcing me to my feet. He stood when I did
this, moving around his chair so we were now standing face to face. My mouth
went flat, a straight and angry line. I was going to put this asshole in his
place.

“Here’s what I see, Gavin. When
Nolan needed a friend, she leaned on you. And then your warped fucking mind
took that shit and ran with it. You took more from her than she wanted to give,
more than she wanted you to have. You wormed your way in when she was at her
lowest. And that’s not
making sense together
, dude…that’s fucked up mind
games and selfishness,” I said, putting a finger in his chest to knock him off
balance.

He stared at me blankly,
breathing slowly. I was satisfied, and I was ready to leave. I walked to his
door and put my hand on the handle, turning to give him one last warning.
“Gavin, it’s time for you to end this shit. You don’t get to be Nolan’s friend
now; you’ve lost the privilege, understood?” I asked, waiting for his nod. I
didn’t expect the asshole to put up a fight, nor did I expect the words he said
next.

“You sure about that, asshole?
I’m not the one who knocked her up, and left her alone to figure shit out on
her own. I mean, who abandons his own baby? You’re fucking weak, man,” he said,
barely getting the end of his sentence out before I had him pressed with his
back flat against the wall, my nostrils flaring, and my eyes fighting against
angry tears.

“You. Don’t. Get. To. Talk.
About. That!” I gritted through my teeth, inches from his face, my forearm
pinning him still. “You got me? That’s not yours to talk about. Ever. Not a
word.”

I could feel his breathing
change; he wasn’t as sure of himself as he’d been minutes before. I waited for
him to nod in understanding before I let up on his shirt, shoving him once more
into the wall. “You leave Nolan the fuck alone. Or I swear to God, I will rip
your pretty fucking teeth from your mouth, and you can use them to strum your
fucking guitar, understood?” I waited again, and again he nodded.

One more shove, and I let my
hands fall back to my side. I left his room without turning around to see his
face again. I was done with Gavin. My blood was pumping through my entire body,
and I wanted to scream, but I reminded myself that my message was heard. And I
was pretty sure Gavin understood me loud and clear.

It was seriously a good thing I
had more than an hour to calm myself down after dealing with Gavin. I drove up
to a nearby corner market to get a Gatorade and just reset my thinking. He had
me so angry, and I didn’t want any of that flowing over into the night I had
planned. Tonight was important, and I had to be very careful. I pulled onto a
neighborhood side road and propped my leg up on my seat, popping my headphones
in one ear and thumbing through my phone to make sure I knew where everything
was. I found myself obsessively checking the time, recalculating how long it
would take me to get back to Nolan’s campus. Finally, unable to stand it any
longer, I pushed my keys back into the ignition and revved my engine.

I was 20 minutes early, but I
could hear Nolan in her room getting ready. I paused at the door to listen in
to her phone conversation a little. It was either Sarah or Sienna on the other
line, I was sure.

“He said to wear something
nice…but I don’t have anything
nice!
And I don’t know what to do with my
hair. Oh my God! He’s going to be here any minute…are you sure? Yeah, that’s
what I’m wearing. Do you think it’s nice enough?”

There was a long pause in her
conversation, and I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing outside her door.
She was nervous, and it was the cutest thing in the whole damn world. I was
starting to think she had hung up when I heard her start talking again.

“Okay, if you promise me that it
looks good and everything’s okay. You swear he’s not going to give me awful
news and just smash my heart to pieces? Because I can’t take that…not again,”
she said. Her words broke my fucking heart. She was worried that this was some
trick, or that I was taking her out to end our relationship, for closure. I
leaned against the wall, listening to her finish getting ready for another few
minutes, my mind heavy with the thought of Nolan staying awake at night
worrying about us. I wanted to fix everything, but I knew it would also take
time. We’d both lost trust in one another, and we were going to need to get it
back for us to be whole again.

I took a deep breath, and
finally rapped on her door, my forehead flat on it as I listened to her
approach. I straightened my posture and readied the mixed bouquet of
wildflowers I’d gotten for her at the store, when I heard the lock twisting.

“Hey,” I said, just smiling
softly and taking her in. Her hair was straight, and swept over one shoulder.
She was wearing tight black pants and a dark blue sweater that hung off one
shoulder. Her exposed skin drove me wild instantly, and I just wanted to take a
bite out of it, but I had to take baby steps, so after giving her a once over,
I forced myself to keep my gaze up high, at her eyes.

“Hi,” she said softly, unsure of
herself. I noticed the slight tremble when my hand touched hers as I handed her
the flowers, and I took it as a good sign. “These are amazing. Thanks, I don’t
get a lot of living things in here. I mean…unless you count the mold I’m
growing on my bread.”

She giggled at her words, my
heart leaping from my chest at the sound. I laughed at her joke, trying to set
her at ease. “I wasn’t sure if you had a vase or anything. I think they’re okay
in a cup or whatever,” I said, looking around her room. It looked the same,
everything still in its place. But somehow, it seemed darker, lifeless. It made
me sad. Nolan found an empty cup near her sink and filled it with water,
setting the flowers on her night table. It made me feel good to know that she’d
wake up to such a vivid reminder of me, and of tonight. Now all I had to do was
not fuck things up. “Easier said than done,” I thought.

I held out my arm and guided her
from her room out to the Jeep. We were both quiet, and with each minute that
passed without conversation, the more nervous I became, my palms actually
sweating.

“So…do I get to know where we’re
going?” she asked, flittering her lashes at me just like she used to do in high
school.
God, I was done
. I took a deep breath, and turned to her with a
full smile.

“Sort of. I’ll fill you in as we
go. Like, right now? We’re going bowling,” I said, buckling up and starting the
engine. Nolan’s face lit up a little. She liked bowling, but we’d only ever
been once. Tonight was going to be about doing all of those stupid little
things we never did, or didn’t do enough. And bowling made my girl smile, which
was the first thing on my list.

 The drive to the bowling
alley was dead quiet. I tried to fill the air with my constant flipping through
the various radio stations, and when I caught Nolan tapping her leg to the
rhythm of one of the oldie stations, I stopped. I loved that she liked the old
songs. She had an old soul. That’s what Pops always said. And something about
hearing some doo-wop band sing, while I looked at Nolan’s smile in the
moonlight, seemed right.

I thought about reaching for her
hand when we walked into the bowling alley, but she had grabbed her jacket and
purse, and was hugging them close to her chest, I think partly to shield
herself from me. She wasn’t herself anymore, and she was so damned uncomfortable
around me. It was killing me. I hadn’t kissed her in weeks, and all I wanted
was to taste her lips, crush my mouth to hers and make her drop her purse to
the ground, reaching for neck and hair. God, the way she used to tug at my hair
and wrap her legs around my waist like I was some sort of tree, and she was the
spider monkey…I had to quit thinking about it, because tonight was about taking
it slow. And right now, I was seconds from throwing that theory out the window.

We picked up our shoes and headed
to our lane. I found a ball right away, but Nolan was always picky. She wanted
the perfect weight, the perfect thumbhole, and the perfect color. She finally
settled on an ugly lime-colored ball and set it on our return.

“Really? All that time, and you
come back with the slime ball?” I teased her. Her smile was refreshing, and I
watched her shoulders relax while she swapped out her boots for her retro
black-and-white bowling shoes.

“Hey, fancy-ass quarterback. You
might be able to throw a pigskin, but I bet me and slime ball can school you
out here,” she sassed at me as she lifted her ball and propped it on her hip
like a six-shooter. Slow was going to be really fucking hard tonight.

 
I considered her wager for a
bit, and it gave me an idea. “Okay, let’s have some fun with this,” I said,
lifting my ball now and mimicking her pose. “If you win, you get to pick what
we do next. But if I win, we go skinny dipping.”

This marked the first time
ever—in the history of my knowing Nolan Lennox—that I saw her jaw
actually drop. I also knew she didn’t like to back down from a bet. I raised
the bar with this one, and probably threw my whole plan to shit, but I didn’t
care. She was chewing on her bottom lip and wiggling it side-to-side when she
finally nodded once. “Okay, you’re on,” she said, a flash of passion in her
eyes. I hadn’t seen this side of Nolan in months, and if I had to throw 10
strikes in a row to keep it alive, I was going to summon everything I had.

I set Nolan up to go first,
because I wanted to know exactly what I needed to keep up with each round. She
was good at bowling, so I knew it wouldn’t be easy. But, it wasn’t a game of
pool, so I had a chance. And the fact that she knew I did, excited me even
more.

She scored a nine her first
frame, and I matched her pin-for-pin. She followed that up with two strikes and
a couple of spares, and I was starting to fall a little behind. I had to do
something to get my edge back, so I headed to the snack bar while she was
throwing her sixth frame and grabbed a pitcher of beer and some nachos.

When I came back, she had her
arms folded and was staring at me like I was in trouble. I just shrugged a bit
and gestured
what
? “So, I’m guessing I’m not getting a real dinner
tonight then, Johnson,” she said, reaching for a glass and pouring a beer.

I held out my glass, and she
poured me one next. “Noles, are you telling me nachos aren’t a
real
dinner?”
I said, grabbing one that was dripping with peppers and cheese, and tilting my
head back while I ate it, smiling at her while I wiped my mouth on my sleeve.

She reached for a pepper then,
and just ate it straight, looking right in my eyes while she did. “It’ll do,”
she said with a wink, and then took a small sip of her beer. I was glad to see
her go slowly. I’d had my fill of Nolan and drinking when she threw up on my
best jeans the other night.

She still seemed in control on
the lanes. I was hoping to get inside her head a little, make her miss a shot
here and there, but she was too cool for that. I was down seven pins by the
time the last frame came up, and I knew I’d need her to miss at least one toss
to have a chance. She was standing at the ball return waving her hand in front
of the air when she turned to me, a cocky grin on her face. “Looks like I’m
picking what we do next, Wildcat,” she teased, turning around to reach for her
ball as it slid up the belt.

Her back was to me and she
wasn’t paying attention. I capitalized on this moment. It was my only chance,
and it was the slightest opening to do something I’d been dying to do since I’d
picked her up that night. I rushed up behind her as she lifted her ball, and
leaned forward so my mouth barely grazed her ear. “You…are beautiful,” I
whispered, lingering there just long enough for her to feel my breath and
anticipate my touch that wouldn’t come, and her body reacted. I backed away
slowly, satisfied by the tiny bumps raised on her neck and arms by my breath.
More than wanting to rattle her enough to win our bowling match, I wanted to
see if Nolan still felt me. And I knew instantly then that she did.

She refused to turn around, but
she walked up to the wood floor slowly, holding her ball delicately in one
hand. She tossed it down the lane, and knocked over only a pin or two. She
turned slowly to walk back to the return and locked her eyes on mine. They were
serious now, not angry and not nervous, but considering perhaps? She kept
staring at me until her ball returned and rolled into her hand. She lifted it,
and walked backward to the lane before she dropped it, not even looking, down
in the gutter, and pushed it to the pins.