Going Long (22 page)

My eyes went wide, my mind
playing back memories of the last three months, trying to fit this new
information together with everything I had done, everything Reed had thought,
and where we were now. “When? When did you tell him?” I stuttered, my body
shaking a bit with adrenaline and renewed understanding.

“The night we all went out…after
Thanksgiving. He called me and said you mentioned it in your drunken stupor.
You were a nightmare, by the way,” she paused to point out before continuing
on. “Nolan, he was crying and upset. He was devastated.”

My heart broke a little thinking
of Reed’s reaction. “Was he angry?” I asked, suddenly feeling sick and leaning
into Sarah’s counter to hold my weight up.

“No. That’s what I’m trying to
tell you. Nolan, he was so upset over you and everything you were going
through,” she said, stopping herself short when I snapped my eyes to hers.

“What do you mean what I’ve been
going through?” I asked, praying she hadn’t told Reed every detail of my
crumbling life.

“Yeah, Nolan. Reed and I, we’ve
been talking. A lot. You’re going to get pissed and find this out eventually,
so you might as well know now. I’m worried about you. Sienna’s worried about
you. You’re flunking out, losing your scholarships. You’re a mess! And I told
Reed. He knows everything,” she said, her shoulders sagging again with the
weight of it all.

I held my hand over my mouth
just listening to her words, embarrassed and ashamed. I knew it was all true,
but I still didn’t like hearing it. I was the together one. I didn’t fall
apart. And the thought that Reed was just being nice to me, showing me
attention, because he felt bad for me also ran through my mind.

“Nolan, stop that. You’re
getting ahead of yourself, I can tell,” Sarah said, forcing my eyes to hers.
“Stop it. You and Reed are figuring things out. It’s not pity.”

“Sarah, how do you know? What if
it’s all just guilt?” I said, my stomach twisting and my heart sinking a little
more.

“Because, I know. I’m never
wrong. Like…ever. Now grab your shit; we’re going home,” she said, turning on
me and not letting me get another word in. It was her style. Tough and
to-the-point, and I knew I was better off following her directions. I also knew
I’d continue to worry silently.

Sarah and I were just turning
onto the main desert highway when my phone buzzed, bringing me out of my
self-pity funk for just a moment. I reached into my console and pushed until I
found the talk button and put the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” I asked, not sure who
was calling.

“Hey, honey,” my mom said, her
voice sounding a little flat and depressed.

“Oh, hi. I didn’t see the
number. Sarah and I are on our way. I just have to drop her off then I’ll be
home,” I said, excited to be going home.

“Honey, that’s the thing…” my
mom started, my mind taking over and going in a million directions over what
her next round of news could be. I was slowing down on the highway now, and
Sarah was staring at me, worried.

“Oh God, what is it?” I said,
choking a bit with panic.

“No, no…honey, don’t worry.
Everyone is fine. Everyone is just fine,” she continued, knowing that I was
imagining the worst. “It’s the house. We…we had a small fire this morning. It
was the laundry room, actually. Something about the dryer vent.”

I relaxed immediately, my home
being damaged—nothing compared to what my mind was conjuring. “Oh, thank
God. Well, do I have to sleep on the sofa or something?” I asked, knowing I
shared a wall with the laundry room.

“Well…it’s a little bigger than
that, I’m afraid. The fire destroyed your entire room. Honey, I’m so sorry,” my
mom was crying a little, giving me the news. I was just so relieved that
everyone was okay, and that it was only a fire, only stuff.

“It’s okay, really mom. I have
most of the things I need at school. I’m just glad you and Dad are okay,” I
said, trying to calm her. She let out a big breath and seemed to settle again
when I spoke. “Well, what’s the plan then? Are we going to a hotel for a bit?
Do they just board it up?”

“Ohhh, nooooooo. Honey, it’s
bigger than that,” my mom said, and I could almost visualize her eyebrows
rising as she spoke. “We’re going to need to live with grandma and grandpa for
a while. Your dad and I have the truck packed, and the insurance adjusters are
coming out next week to figure things out. Work will be slow over the holidays,
but we should be back in by spring.”

Suddenly, the gravity of
everything hit me. But it wasn’t my home and my things—it was Reed. I
wouldn’t be near him, and I didn’t think I could live without that right now.
“Do…do we have to?” my voice broke a little as I spoke.

“I know it’s really awful
timing, Nolan. But the house, it just isn’t livable right now,” my mom said.
“Hold on…” I heard her muffle the phone and could hear my father and her
talking in the background. At this pause, Sarah slapped at my leg to get my
attention. I just grimaced at her and mouthed “Hang on.”

“Okay, I’m not totally sure how
I feel about this. But your dad said Buck offered to let us stay in his guest
house,” my mom started, and I broke in, not letting her finish.

“Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Let’s do
that,” I was overly enthusiastic, causing my mom to laugh nervously.

“Yeah, I figured that’s what
you’d say. Funny, your father was just as excited,” my mom said, her tone
noting a bit of sarcasm.

“That’s just a long time for a
grown man to live with his in-laws,” I heard my father say in the background.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, it
seems like plans are changing. Why don’t you come to the house just like you
planned, and then we’ll figure it out from there before we head to Buck’s,” my
mom said, giving in, and giving me the greatest Christmas gift ever in the
process.

“Okay, I’ll see you in an hour,”
I said, hanging up, and then explaining everything to Sarah.

Reed

Nolan’s home was in pieces, and
when my dad told me about it, I wanted to run to her and be with her when she
found out. I knew the loss would hit her hard when it sank in, but I had to
admit, the thought of her being in my house, within reach, for the entire
winter break had me filled with the excitement of a kid waiting for Santa to
come.

My dad had left as soon as the
TV interviews were done, and when he called a few minutes later to let me know
the Lennoxes would be staying with us, I jumped in the Jeep and wasn’t far
behind. Practices were light for the next few days, but would get more and more
serious the closer we got to the bowl game. It was always weird being on campus
when everyone was gone, like a ghost town. We were given a couple of days off
over Christmas to spend time with our families, and then it would be pretty
strict, and the focus on football got serious. I’d still get to head home a few
times to see Nolan, though, and that’s all that mattered. I thought maybe she
could stay in my room when I was gone, and the thought of her being there,
sleeping in my bed, made me crazy, and I drove a whole hell of a lot faster.

My dad and I headed over to the
Lennoxes late Sunday afternoon. I knew Nolan would be home soon, and I wanted
to see how bad everything was before she got there, so I could try to ease her
shock.

Her room was completely gutted,
nothing left. Her clothes were charred shreds of their former selves, and her
books and papers and charms that hung on her walls were blackened with soot and
smoke stains. Nolan’s mom said she seemed to deal with the news over the phone,
but I knew when she saw what was left, how everything was destroyed, it would
break her heart.

I reached down, and recognized a
scrap of one of her T-shirts. It was a MicNic’s shirt, probably her oldest. I
remembered it from high school, she’d put holes in it she wore it so much. When
I looked up to take inventory of all of her bare hangers, and realized all
she’d lost, an idea struck me. I called Sienna to bring her in on my scheme,
and we made plans to scour Coolidge’s Goodwill stores over the weekend. I was
going to do my best to replace what she’d lost—at least when I could.

Before long, Nolan was pulling
into the driveway. Pops and I had loaded up his truck with the rest of her
family’s things, so hopefully she wouldn’t have to be in her house long. My
heart leapt at seeing her, and I noticed a smile on her face, too. It was a
good start, and I’d just have to work my ass off to keep it there.

“Hey,” I said, walking over to
her car door and pulling it open while she stepped out.

“Hey,” she said shyly. “So, I
guess my room exploded.” She had her sense of humor, another good sign.

“Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I’m not
sure you should see it,” I said, reaching for her hand and locking my fingers
with hers. She stared down at them, her breath stopping as she bit her bottom
lip, and then tilted her chin back up to look at me.

“I’ll be fine,” she said,
convincingly.

I led her around the back of her
house, her parents and my dad following. Her dad was explaining what the fire
inspectors had told him about the dryer causing the fire. Nolan just surveyed
everything, taking it in. She poked her head through the exposed wall and floor,
looking at the remains of her room. She reached up to blot her eyes, the scene
affecting her more than she thought it would. I was worried about this. I just
squeezed her hand tighter and pulled her in for a hug. She snuggled her face
into my chest and turned to look up at me.  

“I’m fine, I promise. It’s
just…a little hard to see, if that makes sense. I know it’s just stuff,” she
said, her face a little more dejected now.

“Yeah, it’s just stuff. The
important things are all okay,” I said, squeezing her again and kissing the top
of her head. She grabbed onto the front of my shirt with her fists, resting her
forehead under my chin for a moment while she kicked her feet and stared at the
ground.

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing
you said
coconut,”
she laughed.

“Yeah, good thing,” I laughed,
too. “Tell me, how ridiculous was that interview?” I led her back to her car so
we could all caravan to my dad’s house, our hands still glued to one another.
She got into her car and left the door open so we could talk.

“Coconuts? You are coconuts?
That’s the best you could come up with?” She teased me, poking at my stomach a
little. I just shrugged and raised my hands. I’d won, and that’s all that
mattered.

When we got home, Rosie had
already set up the guesthouse behind the garage for the Lennoxes. There were
two bedrooms, but I hoped like hell Nolan wouldn’t be staying in one of them.
Even though she was 20, I still felt like we were kids when her dad was around.
I didn’t want to disrespect him, but I also wanted to have Nolan with me at
night. Despite my wishes, she slept with her family for the first few nights. I
wasn’t around much, splitting my time between Pop’s house and campus for
practices, so I didn’t push my luck until I came home for our full practice break
on the 23
^rd
.

“So, you’re not planning on
welching on that bet, are you?” I asked Nolan, kicking her feet from the
barstool in our kitchen while she read the paper and picked at one of Rosie’s
famous omelets. She put her fork down and shoved my shoulder playfully and I
pretended to be hurt. “Hey, watch the arm, killer.”

She smiled big, her eyes
crinkling, while she stuffed a full bite into her mouth. “I don’t welch on
bets, Wildcat,” she said with her hot attitude.
So goddamned cute.
“I’ll
pay up. Tonight.”

She didn’t look at me when I
walked around her, instead continuing with her breakfast and pretending like
none of this affected her. I took advantage of it and leaned in, grazing my
lips on her neck, and then whispered in her ear. “Good. You might want to nap.
Because we’re not sleeping,” I said, biting at her a bit and then backing away
when she turned to look at me, her eyes full of embarrassment and surprise as
she looked around to make sure no one else heard. I just winked and walked
outside to join my dad on the patio and left her there, breathless.

Night couldn’t come soon enough.
Nolan had spent the day with the girls, and I spent the entire afternoon
getting everything ready with Sean. We had a lot to catch up on. When I told
him that Nolan had lost a baby, it hit him pretty hard. Suddenly so many things
were making sense. He was so enthusiastic about helping me set up all of
Nolan’s surprises. My dad liked to have everyone open presents on Christmas
Eve, and Nolan would be at her grandparents’ house for Christmas while I would
be at my mom’s with Jason—something that I was seriously considering
skipping for the first time in my life. Tonight was our only chance to have a
holiday just for us. And I wanted it to be perfect.

The sun was setting by the time
Sarah’s car pulled in the driveway, and Nolan hopped out. I had been waiting in
the living room for more than an hour, everything ready for her to arrive. I
texted Sarah, and told her not to let Nolan eat dinner so she’d be hungry by
the time she got home. She clicked the front door open and stopped in her
tracks when she saw the table dressed for two, candles and all.

“Wow, Reed. Did you do this all
yourself?” she was surprised.

“I had some help,” I shrugged.
She knew Rosie did most of the heavy lifting. “It’s Rosie’s lasagna. I hope
you’re hungry.”

She smiled and kicked her shoes
off, sliding over to the table. “I’m starving!” she said, pulling out her chair
before I could. I was a little disappointed so I grabbed her napkin before she
could take that gesture from me as well, only I knocked over the water glass
when I reached for it, dumping a full glass on her lap. “Oh man!” she shrieked,
standing right away and reaching for the napkin to try to dry her legs. “That’s
cold stuff!”

Damn. I was ruining it already.
I reached for the other napkin and tried to help her dry her now soaking jeans.
“Stupid. I’m so sorry,” I said. She just started giggling, instantly making me
feel better.

“It’s okay,” she tossed her now
soaking napkin on the table. “I think, though…I’m gonna need some pants.”

“Right,” I said, looking at the
giant dark spots on her lap. I pointed to her and signaled that I’d be right
back and ran upstairs to grab a pair of my sweatpants. I came back down and
gave them to her, and she ducked into the powder room to change. I cleaned the
rest of the water from the table before she came back out, my sweats draping on
her body but looking
so good
. I just wanted to lift her in my arms right
then, but I was determined to get the evening back on course. I went to reach
for her chair again, but she just held up a hand, laughing a bit.

“I appreciate it, Reed. I really
do. But I got it,” she said. I slumped and just let her pull out her own chair
and serve herself.
I was a nervous wreck!

We ate Rosie’s dinner, and each
indulged in a piece of cheesecake before I led Nolan over to the sofa.
It’s
a Wonderful Life
was on tonight, her favorite Christmas movie. I pulled a
blanket from the back of the sofa and held it up, encouraging her to snuggle
into my side. She hesitated, and then moved into me, her body warm. I could
feel her heart beating in her ribs, and she was cautious at first before
finally relaxing against me.

We watched the start of the
movie in silence, all the way up to the point where the main character, George,
runs to the bridge, desperate, and feeling like a failure.

God, could I relate—a
couple of years ago I felt exactly the same. But I had this amazing girl,
this
girl right next to me,
who pulled me out of my funk.

I could sense that Nolan wanted
to talk. She would lean forward every so often and open her mouth before
settling back down and deciding against it. When she did it for a third time, I
had to laugh. “Good grief, woman. What’s wrong? Do you have to pee?” I poked
her sides, teasing her. She giggled and slid to the side away from me.

“No,” she smiled, and then her
mouth dipped just a bit. “I wanted to ask you about something…it’s sort of been
bothering me.” Her lips were tight, and she was picking at her fingers, looking
down. I reached for her hand and grabbed her, pulling her into me and laying
her across my lap.

“Ask me anything,” I said,
kissing her lips quickly and startling her.

“Okay,” she took a deep breath.
“Are you…seeing Jenny?”

I started laughing instantly,
causing her brow to scrunch. She sat up and pushed back from me some, her
feelings clearly hurt. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you, I swear,” I said,
pulling her back in. “I’m laughing at the thought of me with Jenny. Oh God,
that would be awful. Mini Dylan!”

Nolan smiled at this. I did have
to come clean, though. No more secrets. Ever. I brushed her hair back from her
face and looked at her for a minute, considering my words carefully. “Okay, how
much do you want to know? I mean, there is
nothing
bad. I promise. But
the story of how I know Jenny, well…it might make you uncomfortable. I don’t
want to do that, not tonight, unless you want me to.”

She seemed to consider this for
a while, chewing on the inside of her mouth, thinking, and looking down at her
twisting hands before meeting my gaze. “I’m good with it all. I want to know
everything,” she nodded and I nodded back.

“Okay. Well,” I started, pausing
to think back to the first night I met Jenny. I decided it was best to tell
Nolan everything, so I started with the trip to the bar with Trig. When I told
her about Jenny stripping in her apartment, her face turned sick. I held my
hand up and finished that part quickly. I wanted her to know that I left Jenny
standing there, that all I thought about was
her
that night. Then I told
her about Gavin, and the words we’d had that night in her hallway, which made
her angry.

“Son of a bitch!” she shot up
from the sofa and stood now. “I trusted that guy! Oh my God, I was so nice to
him the other day in the elevator. I was downright polite!”

She started to pace, and I just
stood up so she’d run into me, and grabbed her, pulling her into a hug. “It’s
okay,” I said. “And trust me, I don’t think he’ll be bothering you.” I just
looked at her and held her gaze, until I saw realization hit her. She didn’t
ask for any details, but I knew she got the point.

“So you’re not seeing Jenny?”
she asked one more time.

“No, absolutely not. I’m only
seeing one girl. Haven’t really seen anyone else since I laid eyes on her,” I
said, pulling out every ounce of Johnson charm now. It seemed to work, because
she looked down and smiled faintly, kicking her feet and shrinking with
embarrassment from the attention. She looked up then, and scrunched her brow a
little.

“Alright, I believe you. There’s
just one thing,” she started.

“Anything,” I reminded her.

“Why were you going out with
her, and Dylan and Jason the other night? And I saw her in the background at
your interview, too,” she said, her voice unsure again. I’d forgotten about
that in the midst of everything else I had been planning. I had meant to
explain my date to her, and instantly felt bad that I’d let her fret and worry
needlessly for the last few weeks.