Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need (23 page)

SarahBeth

I really have no idea what I'm doing. I'm trying to make him touch me and he's letting me take the lead. He very rarely gives up control of anything, so the fact that he's letting me do this says that he's not sure where the hell I'm going with it.

The circles he's making at the base of my spine are driving me crazy and making me want to squirm. I love feeling his hands on me, even just those teasing circles. Taking a deep breath, I break the kiss; trailing kisses down his jaw, then down his throat, feeling his fingers tighten on my back in response.

"Baby," Jeremy groans, "What are you doing?" His voice is rough, gravelly the way it gets whenever we're together this way and my tummy clenches.

I whisper, "I'm trying to seduce you," in his ear. I'm proud of myself for just putting it out there. Saying the words has me wanting to hide my face and I know it's bright red, but he groans again, low in his throat this time. It's the only warning I get before he flips me over so that I'm on my back and he's leaning over me, his eyes so dark they're almost black.

"Stop," he commands, his eyes narrow and the hand now holding my hip is gripping me so tight I'm going to have a mark there tomorrow. He rests his forehead against mine; closing his eyes and breathing deeply, he's trying to get his composure back and I know that if he does, I'm going to end up back in my bedroom...by myself.

I can feel his erection against my belly, hot and heavy and it makes me want to writhe against him. I move my hips just enough that he rubs against me in a really fantastic way and we both moan at the contact. I can feel the strain in his body as he goes completely still above me, breathing hard and still clutching my hip in one hand. His other hand trails up my stomach and just underneath my top, further up my bare skin than he's been before and I hold my breath, hoping he continues upwards. "Please," I beg Jeremy, brushing his lips with mine and that's when his control snaps.

He crushes his mouth to mine, forcing his tongue into my mouth, taking complete ownership of it. The hand at my hip starts kneading my skin as the other moves up to first cover my breast before tugging the tip between his thumb and forefinger. Feeling his skin against mine is a heady feeling and I'm desperate to feel his entire naked body against me. Jeremy starts moving his hips against me as he kisses a trail down my neck, sucking lightly at the base of my throat.

His lips continue to move south until he gets to the top of my camisole where he pauses, then lifts his head to look into my eyes. He searches them before asking, "Are you sure Little Bit?" I melt at the nickname and nod, unable to speak the words out loud. He continues to watch me, and then he says, "I need the words baby. I need to know that
this
is what you want."

"Please Jeremy, I need you to make love to me." My face colors, I can't believe I just said that to him. He grins wolfishly at me before turning his attention to the three buttons on my satin camisole, flicking each button with his fingers but leaving the top covering me.

I hold my breath, waiting for him to make a move, and when he finally does, he only moves the camisole halves so that my breasts are bare to him. Staring up at him wide-eyed, my breath gets faster than I would have thought possible and the nerves start to set in. Am I pretty enough? Am I enough for
him
? Jeremy's been with girls before me and I'm suddenly self-conscious thinking about him comparing me to any of them. He's quick to dispel the notion though.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he whispers reverently, trailing the back of his fingers between my breasts, causing me to gasp.

It's not enough for me though, now that we're here and actually doing this, the nerves have set in. While I'm not having second thoughts, I am feeling a little trepidation because I have no idea how to do any of this. Jeremy must see the worry in my eyes because he asks, "What's wrong SarahBeth? If you're not ready for this, we don't have to do anything. I don't ever want you to feel pressured with me." He leans down, almost touching his lips to mine to whisper, "I'd wait forever for you, baby."

I melt at his words, and put my arms around his neck, pulling him down further so that our lips have no choice but to touch. "I'm ready, I'm just nervous. What if I don't do it right, Jeremy? I don't know what I'm doing or how to make you feel good."

Jeremy gives me a sweet kiss. "Baby," he murmurs, "I'm going to love anything you do to me. I'm so glad to be teaching you this. Knowing that you belong to me and no one else? That's an awesome feeling and an honor I wouldn't give it up for anything."

His words reassure me and I smile up at him as he smirks down at me before covering my breast with his hand again. Pulling back slightly, he looks down at the contrast of his darker skin against my pale, never seen the sun skin. "You're so fucking beautiful Little Bit." His words are soft, uttered just before he leans down to take the tip of my breast into the heat of his mouth. I arch up against him, lost in the sensations and wondering how it could ever get better than this. Kissing a trail over to my other breast, he repeats the suction on the tip of that one too and I toss my head back, reveling in the feelings he's evoking in me.

Jeremy pulls me up into a sitting position, sliding the thin straps of my camisole down my arms and then tossing it on the floor beside the bed. He lays me back so that I'm underneath him, looking up at me under hooded lashes as he grips the sides of my sleep shorts in his hands, silently asking if this is okay. In answer, I lift my hips to make it easier for him to pull off my underwear, leaving me completely exposed to his hungry gaze. Each pass of his eyes along my body is like a caress, setting me on fire and making me wish he was pressed up against me again, without clothes this time.

He runs a hand up each thigh, coming dangerously close to the part of my body that is pulsing for his touch, only he avoids it, moving further up to my stomach before inching them back down to my ankles. I can do nothing but watch him, waiting to see what he's going to do next. Jeremy keeps his eyes on me as he bends down, placing a soft kiss on each calf, pressing kisses up my thighs until he's right back at the spot I need him most. He finally takes his eyes off me for only long enough to take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of my arousal. I wait for the feeling I've heard about in books, but it doesn't come, He just continues to stare at me, a small smirk on his face. He knows exactly what he's doing to me right now.

Just when I think he's going to move away again, he trails the tip of one finger from the bottom of my cleft up and around the button at the top that makes me lose my flipping mind. I moan loudly at the contact, brief though it is before he runs that single finger back down, through my wetness to press lightly inside me. Even just the feeling of his finger is almost too much. If the tip of his finger feels like this, what is it going to feel like when he's fully inside me? I can't think about it long because he begins moving the tip of his finger in and out, his eyes locked on the space between my legs where his finger is pushing inside me deeper on each slide in.

"Damn you're tight," he mutters, almost to himself. He looks up, our gazes meeting and he tells me, "I can feel your pussy pulsing around my finger." Then, closing his eyes, he continues, "Mmmm, I can't wait to feel you convulse around my cock Little Bit."

Oh God. I could almost orgasm from his words alone. He chuckles at the way I spasm around his finger before he pulls it out of me completely. I whimper in complaint, but he shushes me, entering me once more, but this time with two fingers instead of one. As he starts to glide his fingers in and out of me, he pushes the pad of his thumb against my clit and I cry out loudly, my hips beginning to move against him, helping to push and pull his fingers inside me.

I squeeze my eyes shut, barely able to concentrate on what he's doing to me. Just when I think I'm going to explode, he removes his thumb, replacing it with his mouth and sucking hard on my clit. I fly apart at the seams, spiraling off into bliss as he continues to move his fingers in and out, gentler now, but still movement nonetheless, which prolongs my orgasm.

When I'm finally coherent again, he moves so that his lips are next to my ear. "You taste so sweet baby and I want to eat that pussy until you're fucking screaming my name. I can't wait though, not this time. I've been waiting for this with you for a long damn time. I need to be inside you. Are you sure this is what you want?"

I nod, my mouth dropping open in shock at his words. No one has ever said anything so dirty to me and I'm shocked to find that I
really
like it. Jeremy gets up off the bed, removing his pj pants, not at all bashful about his nakedness. Not that he needs to be. The man is all hard body and muscles, totally at odds with his glasses and nice clothes. Thanks to his Italian heritage, his skin is naturally tan, and all the running he does has kept his body toned. He definitely has the V that Livvie says makes smart girls act stupid and when I look even lower, I know my eyes widen comically because he laughs before climbing back onto the bed with me. Now I know why women sleep with him and then pout when he doesn't go back for more. I'm a little worried about how
that
is going to fit inside me, but when he spreads my legs and settles between them, it's the last thing I'm thinking about.

Using his fingers, he tests the wetness between my thighs once more before he positions himself at my entrance. I stiffen, worried now about the pain that I know I'm going to feel. It's inevitable, especially if I want this with him, but it doesn't make my fear any less. Jeremy keeps his eyes on me as he begins to push inside me, groaning at the way my body clenches around him.

"I need you to relax and let me in, baby. You're so goddamn tight." I don't know what to do to
let him in
and I know it's reflected on my face when he smiles gently down at me, pressing circles against me with his thumb and making me arch up against him. Each time that happens, he moves a little further into me and I can see the strain of trying to go slowly on his face. My hands are clutching his biceps tightly when he leans down to kiss me, whispering, "I'm sorry," against my lips before he pushes into me
hard
, seating himself fully inside me. I cry out loudly, digging my nails into his skin at the sudden sharp pain.

He doesn't move, but his entire body is trembling with the effort. Jeremy stares down into my eyes as he waits for the pain to dissipate, which takes a lot less time than I thought it would. Soon, instead of feeling like he's ripping me apart, I just feel full, stretched in a very strange way. I move my hips, testing for pain but instead the feeling is incredible.

Jeremy sucks in a breath at my movements, waiting for me to still before he pulls almost all the way out of me, pushing back in slowly, starting a slow pace in and out of my body. I wrap my legs around his waist instinctively; which alters the place inside me that he's hitting with each thrust. The feeling of him moving inside me is new, but feels better than I could ever describe.

I'm still feeling slight twinges of pain at the depth he's reaching, and I've already been warned that most girls just don't orgasm the first time they have sex. I always wondered if I would, and surprisingly I'm not completely fixated on the pain anymore, although the memory of it still has me cringing.

His thrusts speed up gradually until he's slamming inside of me, his hips hitting me hard and pushing me up the bed. I can do nothing but hold onto him as he watches me, a small frown on his handsome face. Gripping my hip in one hand, he brings his lips down to mine, consuming me again with his kiss as he continues to thrust inside me. His thrusts become erratic and he stills suddenly, groaning loudly into my mouth as he jerks inside me once, twice, and then three times, finally becoming still as he rides out his own orgasm.

Jeremy drops his head into my neck, breathing heavily and trembling slightly as he holds himself above me, his arms taut on either side of my head. "Fuck me SarahBeth. That...that was fucking amazing." I can't help but giggle at the reverence in his tone, causing him to lift his head to look at me. He pulls out of me gently, making me wince in pain. "Sorry baby. I'll be right back." I watch him walk to the bathroom to dispose of the condom I didn't even see him put on before lying back down to stare up at the ceiling.

The emotional and physical upheaval my body just went through makes it hard to stay awake and I don't last long enough for Jeremy to come back to bed. When I wake in the morning, he's laying behind me, holding me against his body with a hand across my stomach. I stretch slowly, feeling stiff and sore in places I never even knew existed before now. The hand resting on my belly tightens and Jeremy's breath ruffles my hair.

"Go back to sleep Little Bit. It's too fucking early to be awake." I giggle, attempting to crawl out of bed, but he pulls me back against him, holding me so tight I can barely breathe let alone move. "Be still SarahBeth or I'll have you on your back again and you're probably a little too sore for that this morning."

He's right, I am sore, too sore for any early morning sexcapades, so I relax back against him, closing my eyes and losing myself in my dreams once more. Dreams of things that happened last night and things I still want to try. I hope the first time you have sex doesn't have a long recovery time, because I really want to do that again.