Everything I Shouldn't / Everything I Need (21 page)

I continue to hold her, rubbing a hand up and down her back while she lies on my chest. Finally, she lifts her head to meet my eyes, pink color on her cheeks. "Wow," she says as she tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, which makes me feel about ten feet tall. "I've never felt like that before."

Fucking hell. She's never had an orgasm before? I gave SarahBeth her first motherfucking orgasm? The thought is as amazing as it is unbelievable. It just highlights how damn young she is, how innocent and untouched by anyone but me. As much as I don't deserve her or her trust, I can't feel bad about what just happened. I want her more than I want my next fucking breath, and I refuse to feel guilty about that.

"Oh baby, you haven't seen anything yet. That? That was just the beginning of how good I can make you feel." Yeah, it sounds like a douche-bag thing to say, but it's true. I could do so much more to her, touch her in ways she's never fucking dreamed of. But, I won't. Not until we address the elephant in the room. "I've got to ask, Little Bit." She stiffens, looking away from me and I know she thinks I'm about to reject her. Reaching up, I grip her chin in my hand, forcing her to face me. "What exactly were you hoping for when you came in here tonight? I mean, I'm damn sure not complaining about having you on my lap and riding my dick to an orgasm, but I'd like to know if that's what you planned for when you came in here tonight, or if it was just an added bonus."

The blush on her cheeks deepens and I wonder just how far down the blush goes. Dammit Jeremy, fucking focus you asshole. She tries to look away from me, but I keep my hold on her chin firm, not tight enough to bruise her, but enough so that she can't get away from me. Finally, she sighs, "I didn't come here for that exactly, at least I don't think so." She's rambling, unsure of my reaction to whatever it is she wants to say.

"Baby, you aren't making much sense," I tell her gently. I'm confused because I don't know what her motivations were, and if she came out here to tell me she doesn't want me, I might go fucking crazy.

SarahBeth squirms in my lap, causing parts of me that just fucking calmed down to stir again. I grip her hip in the hand that's not holding her chin so that she stills, her eyes going impossibly wider when she feels me beneath her. I'm going to have to take a
seriously
cold shower tonight.

"I...I...I wanted to talk to you," she stammers.

I nod, "Yeah, I got that part. What exactly did you want to talk to me about?" I'm curious now, more than I was five minutes ago, because she's so damn uncomfortable telling me what she wants.

"Ugh! Okay, you want me right?" she asks. Instead of replying, I just raise an eyebrow at her, because really? She can feel the evidence of just how much I want her underneath her right now. "Whatever. Hear me out, okay?" I nod, and she continues. "I know you think my wanting to keep David in the dark about anything we might be doing means I want to hide you, but that's not it. I just don't want to deal with my brother and his overprotective behavior, and I don't want to cause a problem between the two of you." She stops to take a breath and I start to interrupt her.

SarahBeth puts her small hand over my mouth so I can't speak, narrowing her eyes in a glare that just makes me want to kiss her. "Let me finish!" she exclaims. "I think we should try this whole relationship thing out for a little while before we tell him about it. I just...I don't want him to ruin it before it can even get started." Her voice is small by the time she finishes talking, and the pitiful look she's giving me pretty much guarantees I'm going to go along with whatever she wants.

Rubbing the bridge of my nose between two fingers, I attempt to decipher her circular words, because half of that didn't even make sense. "So, what you're telling me is that you want us to date, but you don't want to tell your brother until we've had a chance to make sure that we
work
. Is that the gist of it?" She says nothing, just nods. "You know I'm not feeling that idea, right? I don't think we should keep this..." I gesture between us, "from your brother. It will just make it worse when it comes time to say something. He's going to want to know why we weren't up front to begin with and it's going to cause more problems."

"Please Jeremy? Please, can we just do it this way? I don't want my brother to go into overprotective ass mode while we're still trying to figure this all out and ruin everything." She's pleading with me, her eyes wide and she has the whole puppy dog look down to perfection.

I groan because I know flat out there's no way I'm going to tell her no, I'm not going to tell her it's either tell her brother or I'm out. I want her too goddamn much to let her go over this. "Fine. We won't tell your brother
right now
. But we are going to tell him. You're mine, Little Bit, even if I have to fucking fight your brother to have you."

SarahBeth squeals before throwing her arms around me and plastering herself against me. It feels good to hold her and not have to worry about fighting with her over this shit. Hell, it feels good to hold her even when we are fighting, but that's beside the point. I hold her briefly before disentangling myself from her arms. Placing my hands at her waist, I lift her off of me and settle her back on the couch beside me. She pouts prettily, and I have to close my eyes to keep myself from pulling that pouty lip between my teeth.

"Don't even start. If you stay on my lap, this relationship is going to go from zero to sixty in about half a second. I'm barely hanging onto my control here, baby. It's time for you to go back inside, and for me to go take an ice cold fucking shower."

She grins over at me impishly before getting off the couch. "Fine. I'll go back to the house for now, but you can't put me off forever you know." With a wink, she puts her shoes on and practically skips out of the pool house. Leaning my head back against the couch cushions, I groan. That little girl is going to be the fucking death of me, I just know it.

SarahBeth

T
he next month passes quickly, with Jeremy and I spending most of our time together, reconnecting, and just enjoying being friends again. I've come to realize that while I
like
Wyatt and value his friendship, I really,
really
missed Jeremy. I was so mad at him that I didn't notice how much...brighter...my life is with him in it. When I get up in the morning, he's the first person I want to talk to, when something exciting happens, he's the one I want to share it with. God, I've
missed
that!

The relationship is so much better now too. Instead of just talking to me, he's
touching
me. He plays with my hair, kisses the top of my head and pulls me closer without even thinking about it, almost like it's an unconscious movement. He just has to be close to me and I relish in it. It reminds me of how close we were when I was younger, the way things were when he and David first moved back and he did everything he could think of to make me smile. All of that makes me terrified for today.

Today was my last day of school before Spring Break and although Wyatt still has one more day of classes, he and his roommates are throwing a party tonight and I promised him I would go. I know without a doubt that Jeremy is going to be pissed when he finds out that I'm hanging out with another guy tonight, but Wyatt is
just
a friend and he always has been. Besides, he's got a thing for a girl he goes to school with, and I'll be spending most of the night hanging out with Livvie and watching him make a fool of himself over Peyton.

I'm checking my outfit - a pair of skinny jeans and a white beaded flowy tank top with flowery designs on it and a white almost see-through cardigan - when a pair of hands wraps around my waist from behind and Jeremy kisses the top of my head. "You look pretty, Little Bit," he says when our eyes meet in the mirror. Turning in his arms, I stand on my tiptoes to wrap my arms around his neck and place a soft kiss on his lips. We break apart, and he looks down at me, his eyes warm. "What are your plans for tonight?" Oh boy. This is where things are going to get tricky.

"I'm going to a party with Olivia?" It comes out as more of a question than a statement, and I want to kick myself. It's not like I have to ask permission to spend time with my friend, but when he finds out that I'm hanging out with Wyatt too? That might not go over so well.

Jeremy pulls away from me, leaning back far enough that he can look down and see my face. "Are you not sure?" I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to figure out how to tell him who I'll be with tonight.

"I'm sure. I just worry that you're going to be mad when I tell you that it's Wyatt's party, so I'll be with him too." There, I said it. I put it out there so now I just hold my breath and wait for his reaction.

Jeremy continues to stare at me, his eyes going from confused, to irritated and then finally understanding. "Baby, I don't care if you hang out with your friends, I don't even care if you're with Wyatt as long as at the end of the night, you're coming home to me."

My smile is radiant when I beam up at him. "Of course I'm coming home to you! I'll always come home to you." Jeremy smiles back before kissing my lips softly.

"Good. As long as you remember that, we won't have any problems."

The way he says that has my body tightening in the most delicious way. "Problems? Are you telling me that if I
forgot
, you'd have to remind me?" My smile turns impish as I think of
all
the ways he could remind me. I did just read a book Livvie gave me that was all about "reminder" sex. Hmm..that has possibilities!

"Don't give me any ideas, Little Bit. I already have plenty where you're concerned." Leaning down, he kisses my softly, running the tip of his tongue along my bottom lip before biting it gently. The bite of pain mixed with the pleasure of being in his arms is heady and I whimper, feeling him smile against my lips. He pulls back instead of deepening the kiss the way I expect him to, "Have fun with your friends. I'll see you when you get home Little Bit."

I can't say anything in return; instead I just nod mutely, unable to form a coherent thought, let alone a full sentence.

Livvie and I walk into Emmett, Clay and Wyatt's extremely crowded apartment and she stands on her tiptoes, trying to see her boyfriend over the bodies crowding the small space. When she finally spots him, she grabs my hand and pushes through the people like a woman on a mission. Liv drops my hand a second before throwing herself at Emmett with a squeal. The two of them make my head spin. Last week, they were fighting and she was avoiding him. Tonight, she's acting like he's been gone for months and just returned. At least I'm not the only one with guy drama.

Wyatt's standing beside him, the conversation they were having when we walked up effectively stalled thanks to the way Livvie's attached her mouth to Emmett's.
Jeez
. Those two should really go find his room. He smiles down at me before pulling me into a hug. "Hey Shortie."

"Don't call me that!" I squeal, smacking him in the chest with the back of my hand. He knows I hate how short I am, he doesn't need to call any more attention to it. I'm well aware of the fact that I'm almost short enough to be considered a little person.

He only laughs. "Sorry! Would it make you feel any better if I call you Short stack instead? That's what Clay wanted to christen you."

"Short stack? Do I even want to know?" God, I can only imagine what Clay's reasoning for that is. I don't have to wonder long though.

Clay's voice in my ear suddenly says, "Because you're short...and stacked" before he kisses my cheek, walking away before I can deck him. Wyatt and Emmett are both laughing while Livvie rolls her eyes at the whole conversation.

"Alright guys, I need to talk to my bestie." Oh no...what could she possibly have to talk to me about? Liv grabs me by the hand, pulling me behind her as she calls back to Emmett, "I'm borrowing your bedroom babe!" which results in extremely suggestive catcalls by half the guys in the room as she shuts the door, motioning for me to sit on his bed.