Desire (39 page)

I barely hear it when she tells me back, hardly feel it as her lips press against mine. The light suddenly becomes brighter, but I can’t see her anymore and I don’t understand what they’re saying. All I know is that her fingers slide out from between mine and I keep trying to get them back, but I can’t. They’re gone.
I just want a few more seconds. Just a few more…

47

Isaac

“Isaac, you have to stop saying her name.”
Is that Jace?

“Where is she?”

“At home, safe.”

“Where the
hell am I?”

“At the fucking hospital being treated for internal bleeding and a bunch of other shit. But you were right, you don’t have
a punctured lung.”

“I told you
I was fine…” I try to laugh, my eyes focusing on the sterile hospital room. “How long have I been here?”

“About four hours.”

“Is Glory coming?”

Jace’s lips roll together and his brow furrows as he looks at me with pity. “I could call her, but…”

“No, don’t. Let’s see what she does.” I try to sit up, but it feels like my insides are being shredded and that monitor starts beeping like crazy, so I give up.

“Stop moving
. You’re not going anywhere for a while, just get some rest. And please stop moaning ‘Maya’. That will be extremely difficult to explain if she does show up.”

“
I’ll try.” Holy shit, it feels like I’m breathing fire. “Why does it hurt so fucking much? Can’t they give me something?”

“Dude, they did a tox screen on you and can’t believe
that you’re still alive. They want to call your doctor. I wasn’t sure what to say.”

“Nothing. Say nothing.”

“I thought you had that shit under control.”

“I did. Then I didn’t see Maya’s face for a month and I went off the fucking deep end. Speaking of which, there’s some Xanax in the pill bottle in my pocket. Get me a few.”

“No fucking way, Isaac!”

I refuse to get pissed off at him. “It wouldn’t really do much for me anyway. You don’t have to stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Piper will get suspicious.”

“No, she won’t because Maya begged me to stay. So get some sleep.”

I try to argue with him, but it’s useless.
It’s been a long time since I got to dream, but I must be because Maya’s here. She’s smiling and we’re outside in that meadow in the summer, before everything turned brown and cold. It’s not really her, but it sure feels like it is. I could get used to this.

*******
*

“Why the hell didn’t you call me, Ja
ce?” Glory yells. I try to open my eyes, but I can’t.

“
We figured you knew.”

“We? So he’s been awake?”

“He’s in and out. Mostly out, since they cleared him for morphine.”

“Who cleared him?”

“Some specialist.”

“A good one?”

“I don’t fucking know. He was miserable for a day and a half, we took what we could get.”

“A day and a half?” Glory’s voice cracks and I finally force my eyes to open, but she’s blurry. “Isaac…” she whispers, coming toward me. I flinch when her hand grazes my hairline. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I—” Fuck it hurts to talk. “I didn’t know if you…”

Blinking at me in disbelief, her lips part as she pulls her hand back.
“Do you think I did this?”

“It’s not like we’
ve been getting along that well,” I rasp.

“
Well yeah, but I’m your…”
So now you want to be a Mommy?
“It’s me.”

“Right,” I scoff. “How long did it take you to start calling hospitals? Or did you call around for rumors first?”

“I…”
That’s what I thought.
“Who did this?”

“Who the fuck do you think?”

She lets out a dismissive sigh, shaking her head. “Isaac—”

“You called him. You know you did. Think hard, you might have been
pretty high. It couldn’t have been that long ago.”

“I didn’t—” Glory chokes on her breath, her eyes watering. I can see her scrambling for
another reason as she tries to shrug off the memory. “We’re going home.”

“He can’t go anywhere,” Jace interjects. “
Did you read his chart?”

“Then I’m calling Roger and we’re moving him to a better hospital. Or bringing in some real doctors.”

“These third rate doctors saved his life, they’re not the fucking problem. But good luck finding someone with a magic wand to make this go away. Do wizards take credit cards, or is that a cash only type of thing?”

“Jace…” I groan. “Please.”

“I have to fucking go anyway. I’ll see you later, Isaac.
Hopefully
.”

Jace walks out the door and my heart rate spikes on the monitor. Glory notices, but I can’t tell if she’s
more surprised than offended. I really do not want to have another your-father-could-never argument right now, I just can’t deal with it. “You don’t have to stay, I’ll pass out again soon. I know you hate this kind of thing,” I say.

“What, watching you sleep?”

“No, medical stuff. They’ll probably change my bandage soon. It’s gross.”

“Your bandage
?”

“On my belly. No more perfect abs for me. I’ll have a big scar
.”

“Did they cut you?”

“The surgeon did, not the goon squad.”

“
Holy shit, you had surgery?” she exclaims.

“Yeah,” I sigh, wincing as I try to sit up. “The butchers could have done it lap
aroscopically, but apparently we were pressed for time.” Is she going to cry? “Seriously, I’m fine. You’re a busy woman, you don’t have to—”

“I’m not going anywhere, Isaac,” she says firmly
, taking a seat in the chair at the side of my bed and pulling out her phone. “Did Jace stay here the whole time?”

“Pretty much
. I don’t think you’re supposed to use that in here.”

“I have five companies to run, they’ll have to make an exception.”
She rolls her eyes when I keep staring at her. “Haven’t I taught you anything? Rich people don’t follow the same rules as the plebeians.”

No shit, how do you think I got here
? “You’re going to set somebody’s pace maker off or something.”

“
Oh, that’s a myth. Just like causing a plane crash.”

“You use your fucking phone during takeoff and landing?” I ask. Smirking, she winks
at me playfully. “Gloria…”

“
So Jace didn’t leave you alone at all?”

“I don’t think so. He was paranoid
.”

“You should have called me
right away.”

“I… was really out of it.”
We both know that’s a lie. Please don’t fucking call me on it.

“You look so tired, honey. Just go to sleep.”

“What are you going to do, just watch me?”

“No, I’m going to read. Are they giving you enough pain medication? Because I’ll make them dope you up good.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you thirsty?” she asks. I shake my head no. “Hungry?”
Who the hell are you and what have you done with Gloria?
“What about your benzos? Did they take them away? Because Roger is on his way and—”

“I’m just tired,” I yawn, more for effect than anything, though I am a little less tense now that she’s here. “But thanks.” I pull the covers up around my neck and breathe as deeply as I can without it feeling like I’m going to rip something apart in my stomach. “Glor? If you do
leave… will you, um, call your security guys or something?”

“I already did. Just get some sleep.”

“Okay. I’m glad you’re here.”

Inhaling sharply, she tenses up and doesn’t say anything until I start to drift off. “I used to watch you sleep a lot. When you were little,” she whispers, keeping her eyes locked on her e-reader. That’s the first time she’s ever said anything about it without me asking. Ever.

********

“I decided to put you in a different bedroom because of the stairs,” Glory says
once we’re in the car.

“That’s probably a good idea, but this wheelchair thing is completely unnecessary. They let me walk around at the hospital.”
And said that I could leave two days ago, thank you very much.

“Humor me, Superman.”

“Well, since you insist on emasculating me, I’m expecting ice cream when I get home. Lots of it.”

I’
m actually happy to be here. Anything is better than that fucking hospital and I have a shot at calling Maya soon. Maybe it’s the thought of her that makes me feel invincible because I insist on getting out of the wheelchair and into the bed without any help. Of course I fall. Between the agony and the frustration, I totally lose my shit on the floor, screaming and cursing, slapping away any of the hands that are just trying to help me up. I don’t do helpless. I don’t do weak. I’ve never had to deal with this bullshit and I can’t fucking take it anymore. Clutching the bedframe, I howl as I pull myself up to my knees and into the bed as Glory and her staff look on in horror.

Well that was fucking stupid. The bandage on my side feels wet and even though I try to keep it from showing, I’m in so much fucking pain that the only thing I can do it curl up in a ball on my side and groan.

“I’m not fucking going back!” I shout when they all start talking about calling an ambulance, but thankfully Glory has her very own doctor on site now to babysit me. “Just leave me alone!” At the doctor’s insistence, they all flood out of the room and I’m finally free of prodding hands and pitiful stares.

I have to figure out some way to get a clean phone. I need to hear Maya’s voice. Maybe Jace can sneak over
for a visit and I can use his. It’s too risky to have one just lying around in this room when people are buzzing in and out of here constantly while I linger in a drug induced stupor for twenty goddamned hours a day. She has to be so worried about me. I’d be going insane if the situation were reversed.

I’m drifting off, my
thoughts wandering to places I’d rather be. I disappear into the delusion that I’m in Maya’s room, holding her in my arms while she sleeps, trying to stay awake for just a few minutes longer until I’m sure that she isn’t having a nightmare again, even though she hasn’t in a while. I’m just conscious enough to realize that might not be true anymore because I haven’t been there in more than a month. For all I know, she’s trapped and tortured every time she closes her eyes now and I’m not there. The guilt jerks me out of it and I wake up with my pulse racing, but my head is fucking pounding and all of my senses are dulled. It’s dark out. I must have been asleep for a while. I hope I didn’t moan her name.

“How the hell could you do this, Baron?” Glory sobs outside my door. Holy shit, that woke
me up. “You’re not happy with him either, so you do this? … That is not what I said! I just wanted to know if he was still working for you.” Oh, that’s just fucking great. “Of course he pisses me off, he’s a 22 year old arrogant little shit like his father. But I didn’t mean… You’re angry at him for seeing Taylor behind your back? Are you fucking insane… That’s his little brother he can see him whenever he wants to… Oh, my God, you are fucking unreal. He shouldn’t need to ask for your permission, you sick fuck.”

What the hell is she thinking? “No, actually, I don’t know who
the hell I’m fucking talking to! He’s your son! You tried to kill your own fucking son! … No, they didn’t just rough him up a little bit to keep him in line, they put him in the goddamned ICU. I will never fucking forgive you if he… No, you’re not. You can’t come see him, don’t you fucking dare. … Baron if you try to... you have got to be fucking kidding me! If this is you, I’m calling the police, I swear to—”

The doorbell rings. Holy fucking shit, she just had to call him. “Get the fuck out of my house!” she shrieks, which means she obviously let him inside.

“You need to calm down,” my father’s voice answers. “This is a misunderstanding.”

“Misunderstanding? A misunderstanding!”

“
Settle down
,” he orders and I can practically see her cowering like she always does. “Where is Isaac?”

“I seriously doubt he wants to see you right now.”

“I don’t care.”

“No shit.” Okay, maybe she’s not as afraid as I thought.

“Glory, I will tear the door off every fucking room in this house.”

“Not before I—”

“I’m in here.” I didn’t really think before I said that. Her heels clap behind him as he stomps toward my room. “No need to get your personal commandos involved,” I say hoarsely when they open the door.

“Isaac…
” my father whispers as both his hands fly to his face to cover his mouth. I really didn’t think he’d even be surprised, let alone appear remorseful.

Glory slips past him and get
s in between us before he comes close to me. I’ve never seen her act like this before, even when she momentarily slips into Mommy mode. “Don’t even think about touching him.”

“Gloria, if you don’t fucking move out of the way, I’ll—”