Desire (38 page)

46

Isaac

I wish I could say that I regret coming as soon as I see her face contort in shock and fear, but I can’t because I’m just so fucking happy to see her. I barely manage to keep from tearing up, I don’t want her to think I’m that hurt.

“Isaac?” Maya approaches me carefully. I’ve pictured catching her while she leaps into my arms for so long, but I’ll take anything at this point.

“Hi.” I stumble a little bit as I push off Jace so I can hug her,
finally burying my face into the comfort of her shoulder again. “I missed you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier.”

“What happened?”

“I’m not really sure. I didn’t see him. Them maybe, I don’t know.” That’s not exactly true. The first guy did clock me over the back of the head, but I was awake for most of it. But she doesn’t need to know that and neither do Jace and Sloane.

“You need to convince him to go back to the hospital,” Jace whispers, leaning toward us right as the light in Piper’s bedroom flicks on.

“Back?”

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” I assure her, glaring at my traitorous best friend. Piper stumbles out of her room, rubbing her eyes as the
fur ball limps behind her. “What happened to AJ?”

“What the hell happened to
you
?” Piper asks, glancing from Jace to me. Fuck. How is he going to explain this?

“I… uh… got beat up apparently
. I don’t really remember.”

“I found him stumbling in the parking lot,” Jace explains, trotting over to his girlfriend. “
Somebody had to go home early so I went in. I was just coming home.”

That was smart. Piper nods, her attention returning to me.
“You should probably go to the hospital.”

“That’s what I said.
”
Shut the fuck up, Jace.
“I offered to take him.”

“I’m fine.”

“You
seriously
do not look fine,” Piper replies.

“Well I am. Maya can we go lay down for a little bit?
Alone
.”

Biting her bottom lip so hard I’m afraid she’ll draw blood, she nods and wraps her arm around my waist. I refuse to put any weight on her, a sharp pain running up my side as I take the first
wobbly step and recover before I fall.

“
He might have a concussion if they hit him in the head,” Jace calls after us.
Subtle, asshole.

“They hit you in the head?” Maya asks, staying with me as I lower myself down onto
her bed.

“Yeah, from behind. I didn’t see them.”

“Isaac, you need go to the hospital.”

“I did. They let me go,” I lie unconvincingly
. “I just needed to see you, I couldn’t help it.”

“So you left? What did they say was wrong with you?”

“I got out of there before they ran any tests.”

“Well, what did they
suspect
was wrong?”

“Just the concussion, I’m really fine,” I tell her, wincing as I sit up against her pillows. AJ mewls
before she jumps into my lap and I barely stop myself from crying out. “What happened to you, kitty?” Petting her under the chin, I realize how much I’ve missed hearing her purr and all the other little things about coming over here.

“She slipped and fell off the counter. She’s okay.”

“Did you take her to the vet?”

“Yes.” Maya is clearly not telling me the entire story. “Stop trying to distract me, it’s not going to work. I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“You
can’t
.”

“Then Jace—”

“Maya, stop it!” I try to sound firm, but fail miserably, my voice cracking as I wince. “Please. I’ll go when I have to. I just want to see you for a little bit, at least a few hours. Just sit down next to me. I fucking missed you so bad.”

“Me too.” She kneels on the bed next to me, leaning in to kiss me so I don’t have to.
It doesn’t matter if I’m battered and ready to pass out, the moment her lips touch mine the world disintegrates and she is the only thing that exists. My hand is drawn to the nape of her neck. I’ve wanted to touch her like this so badly for so long. Groaning, I push my tongue into her mouth as my pulse races. I can’t lose her, I just can’t. I will find a way to keep this somehow. There has to be a way.

She breaks our kiss, but I pull her back for more, fooling myself for a few more seconds that everything is alright and it’s just like any normal night. I even wonder for a moment if I’ll be able to fuck her if she’s on top, but I hear a tearing sound in my shoulder as I try to
bring her into my lap. I pull away, my hands leaving her so I can clutch this horrible pain in my side that I keep trying to ignore. I’m not fucking leaving yet.

“Baby,” she squeaks, her little fingers skimming across my jawline. “Isaac… who do you think did this?”

“I told you, I didn’t see them.”

“But
who do you think sent them?”

“I
don’t know.”

“
Could it have been her?” she squeaks.

“That would be very surprising, I don’t think she would do that.”
Actually, it makes a lot of sense. I would have been fine if I stayed in the club like I was supposed to.

“Does that mean it was your Dad?”

“Maybe. Probably.” That possibility is even more terrifying. “Do we have to talk about this?”

“Yes! Of course we have to talk about this
. Someone tried to beat you to death a few hours ago.”

“If they were trying to kill me, they would have. It could have even been random.” Bring
ing her hand to my lips, I savor each of her fingertips. “How is school?”

“You can’t be serious. Isaac what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” I whisper, trying to pull her closer. “I just want to be with you for a little while and not think about it.”

“But—”

“
Please
.”

Our eyes lock and I can see how anxious she is. I don’t even want to think about how horrible I look right now
. Maya starts to protest, but I must look too pathetic because she lets out a dismissive laugh, shaking her head. “Fine,” she sighs. “I’ll pretend everything’s normal for old time’s sake. But you’re not getting a few hours. Fifteen minutes at most.” Eyes narrowing, her lips purse slightly as her chin juts out a bit. Her defiant face. I haven’t seen that one for a long fucking time.

“
Deal.”

Without
me asking, she starts telling me about school, tracing her fingers through my hair. I crave these little mundane details so much when I can’t talk to her. It is completely worth the risk of internal damage to flip on my good side so we can cuddle. Gritting my teeth, I try not to cry out too loudly. Maya’s arms surround me as I bury my face in her chest and shudder, waiting for the pain to subside as I listen to her talk about WoW and whatever else she can come up with to keep this one sided conversation going for my benefit. Eventually she runs out of topics and we just hold each other in silence, her lips kissing the top of my head as my arm rests on her flank. I feel her ribs way too much. Is she thinner?

“I don’t think so, Tiger,” she chastises me as my hand wanders toward her breast
, the litmus test for how much weight she’s lost. “We’re not pretending that much.”

“Can’t I at least see them?”

“
No
. I don’t want to get your heart rate up.”

I groan in frustration and pull my head up so I can beg her with my eyes, but there is no way she’s going to bend. “You know refusing me just turns me on.”

“Nice try.”

She scoots down so we’re face to face, her lips dancing around mine lightly as she twists my misbehaving hand in hers. Glancing at the clock, her expression contorts in that familiar disappointment she used to get every time I had to leave. I’d do anything to go back to abandoning her in the middle of the night now. At least I got to see her. I’m about to beg for just a few more minutes, tell her that it’s really not that bad even though it’s substantially worse
, when she starts to say something. “What?” I ask when she stops herself.

“I want to go with you,” she whispers.

“To the hospital? You can’t, it’s too—”

“No. I want to run when you do. I need you to take me with.”

“Maya… I’m not running. This might work out for us because Glory didn’t… this isn’t her style. She’s going to be pissed off, she’ll feel horrible. It will all go back to normal soon.”
Maybe. I hope.

“You’re a crappy liar.”

“I am a
fantastic
liar. Just not to you.”

“Seriously, Isaac, if you—”

“No.” Until the word came out of my mouth, I didn’t think I was capable of saying it. “I’m not destroying your life. I can’t live with that. I enjoy these little fantasies where I take you away from all this and we live on a beach somewhere happily ever after, but that’s all they are. Fantasies.”

“We could make it work. I can teach math to poor kids in third world countries
. I’d like that a lot,” she says. Why’d she have to put it like that? “I can work from anywhere. We’d be happy.”

For a moment, I can almost see it. Maya
is sitting at her desk next to an open window with a warm tropical breeze coming in, trying not to get distracted by our crazy haired kids. But what happens to them when my father finds us and sends a pack of brutes to break down the door? I’ll never understand why he cares so much. But I know without a fucking doubt that he’ll do it, probably just because he can. There won’t be a quiet little house. We’ll always be running. I can’t do that to her. “Maybe.” I hate fucking lying so much. “But we can’t leave at the same time, I’ll have to send for you. And I’d wait until after you graduate, it’s not that far away.”

“So you’ll take me?”

“I don’t even think I’m going anywhere.”

“Yes, you are. The
hospital.” Planting a gentle kiss on my forehead, she starts to get up, but I slide my hand into her hair the way I have hundreds of times before, wordlessly telling her to hold still.

“Maya…”
My voice wavers when I look at her. I almost forgot how beautiful she is. How much I love looking at her face and hearing her breathe. Feeling the heat of her body against mine. The scent of her hair. Those faint little freckles that splay across her nose. Those beautiful lips that twist into a mischievous smile, or part to let out some smart ass remark I try not to dignify with a laugh and fail every fucking time. These curious, stormy blue eyes that let me see right into her soul. They’re so scared right now.

“I’m never
going to see you again, am I?” She says exactly what I’m thinking, scooting closer to me.

“We’ll—” I stop myself from giving her false hope
. It isn’t fair. “I don’t know what’s going to happen.” This could easily be the last moment. We’ve always said that, but it never felt real. Now it does and I’m fucking terrified.

“Baby, it’s okay.”
She wipes a tear from my cheek like I used to do to her all the time. She seems so much better now and I’d like to think I gave her that strength, but she already had it. Her needy little train wreck phase was always temporary. I wish I could have gotten more time with this Maya, the real Maya. “We always knew it was a long shot,” she chokes.

“I’ll find a way…” I
say that to myself more than I say it to her, but I’m not sure it’s true anymore, if it ever was. And I don’t think I can live without the illusion that it is.

“Hey…” She brings my hand to her lips and kisses my scarred knuckles. “You need to get better before you start running a million scenarios through you head, okay?” she tells me. I nod and rest my f
orehead against hers, sliding my hand out of her hair so I can tickle that spot below her ear. “And if you can’t find a way…” A tear finally overflows and I lick it away quickly, getting the start of a giggle from her. “I need you to know that it was worth it, Isaac. I’m so glad I found you, even if I only got to keep you for a little while.”

“
Me too,” I rasp, leaning in for a kiss.

I inhale raggedly as her lips da
rt all over my face, probably for the last time. Mine return the favor, starting on one of my favorite spots, the tip of her nose. I savor every piece of skin slowly, wrapping my arm around her waist to stay as close as I can. When they land on her brow, a searing pain starts in my belly and rips up to my throat. I try to pass off the horrible sound I make as a sob or a laugh, but Maya tenses up as I finish the ritual.

“Fuck,” I whisper when I pull back to look at her. Bright red patches defile her perfect features every place that I kissed her. It’s horrifying.

“Isaac?” she gasps, bringing her fingers to my mouth and examining them in the dim light. “This is blood! You have to go.
Now
. Jace!”

“I love you, Maya.”