My Forever (15 page)

“Michael! What happened to your face?” His mom says as soon as she steps into the kitchen.

Stabs of horrible guilt hit me again.

He laughs. “You can blame John for that one. We were playing ball after school and he got me with his elbow.”

His mom rolled her eyes, “You boys and your sports.”

Yeah.
Boys and sports.
That’s the problem here. I’m suddenly not sure if I can eat.

10

I get Tracy alone after dinner. She explains that Michael and John were playing ball after school. Daniel busted into the middle of it and got Michael right in the eye without a word. John and
Calvin we
re immediately
at his side
,
and Daniel backed down. I guess I should feel lucky that neither were expelled.

Collette offers for me to stay home on Friday
,
but I want to keep my grades up
. Missing more than one day of t
rigonometry is generally fatal for me. She drives me to school
at the regular time because
Michael and Tracy left early for Seminary.

Word of the fight between Michael and Daniel has travelled fast. Apparently most of the student body knows I’m pregnant
,
and knows I’ve been kicked out of my house. They also know I’m staying with Michael and Tracy, thanks to Daniel. The rumor continues on to say that Michael’s the dad.

Why else would Daniel punch him and why else would I be staying at their house? I feel sick. I deserve for Michael to hate me forever.

I should have known this would happen
. I’m the stupid girl who put herself in this situation. I want to run to the office and steal the microphone so I can make some announcement to the school about
me and Michael
. But really, I just want to go home. I suddenly don’t care about
Trig,
at least it’s next. Maybe after that I’ll just hide.

I keep my large sweatshirt on
,
but pull my
ponytail out to let the hair fall over my face. I don’t want to be approached, and I don’t want to answer any more questions. I just want the school day to be over so I can have the weekend.

B
y third
period, I realize
that without saying a word
, either
John, Calvin or one of the Mormon girls has made sure to sit next to me. I can’t believe how they’re standing up for me. I wonder if they’d gotten together before the school day or if this just sort of happens when you’re friends. Are we friends? Does running into one another at church and sharing a lunch table make us friends?

Michael takes my hand and slides it through his arm at lunchtime. My heart stops. He feels so good. I haven’t seen him all morning
,
and I want to apologize. Though I don’t see how a stupid apology can possibly cover it.

“We’re
getting out of here.” His voice is quiet.

“Great. I had math this morning so I’m done.” I love the idea of leaving early.

“Tracy’s already out at the car.”

“Wow, okay. Do we need to check out or anything?”

“Nope. All taken care of.”

I raise an eyebrow
.

“Taken care of.” His smile is sly.

I wonder how he did it. He’s such a good student he probably just walked to the main office and signed us all out. Who would question Michael Mason?

The moment we step outside, I have to make this mess better, or at least try.
“Michael. I am so sorry. I never
thought people would think that—
”

“Dani.” His voice is soft
,
and his eyes are so deep. I wait for his hand to touch my face again, but it doesn’t come. “I don’t care what people think.” His voice is so relaxed I almost believe him.

I climb into the
car beyond relieved
.

“Let’s go grab something delicious and terrible for you.” Tracy says from the back.

“Pizza Hut?” Michael offers.

“Great,” she answers back.

“Does that sound okay to you?” He
glances my direction as we pull out
.

“I don’t have any money. I mean none.” I can feel my stomach sinking, I feel bad… again.

He laughs. “Don’t worry about it. My dad sends me a bit of an allowance every month. I got it.”

“
Always
let Michael pay,” Tracy says from the backseat. I can tell she’s smiling
without looking
.

We bring the pizza home and Tracy turns on
Despicable Me
. I’m laughing in a way I haven’t in a long time. I change into my pajama pants and take off my bulky sweatshirt. I’m starting to get used to my small belly
,
and I can’t keep from touching it all the time. Besides, it gets itchier, the more it stretches out. We sit together and laugh and life feels almost normal.
Almost.

When Collette gets home,
there’s
only a few slices left. We’ve all stuffed ourselves
silly
.

“Dani, I should have waited and taken you with me, but I got you a few things that I’m guessing you’re missing.” She hands me a large grocery bag o
f toiletries. More than what I’ve
ever had at home. “I also go
t you a pair of maternity jeans. Y
ours can’t be comfortable.”

S
he’s right. Mine are killing me.

I can’t even conceive of how I’d pay her back.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have…”

She laughs in the same way that both Michael and Tracy had. “We know Dani. Its’ okay.”

“Well, um…
thanks.” Again, it just doesn’t seem like enough. Here I am in a practical stranger’s house, eating pizza Michael bought and holding what feels like an enormous, generous gift. How will I ever repay them?

~
~
~

For the first time since learning about their church, I’m able to
go
to church. I wake up on Sunday morning looking forward to my day. How did
that
happen? I come out of my room to see Tracy
and her mother wearing dresses, and my stomach sinks when
I realize that I have nothing
to wear.
Tracy takes my hand and leads me to her room. No words.

“Tracy, my belly’s too big.” I stop next to her bed as she shuts her door behind us.

“It’s not tha
t big.” She rolls her eyes
. “Besides you’re smaller than me
,
and I have a stretchy wrap around dress that I think will work.”
She reaches
into her clo
set. The whole thing is just
her
stuff
—way more than I’ve ever had
.

She pulls out a soft plum colored mate
rial that feels like a T
-shirt, and I slide
it on. She helps me with the ties that move through the dress to tie it. I’ve never dressed up for church
, and I’m not sure
why.

My tummy is small but noticeable all
the same. I wrap my hands self-
consciously around me. “This is so weird.”

“You look cute. D
on’t worry.” She digs in her closet. “I have a long black sweater you can wear.” She hands it out behind her. “And this for your hair. Sit.”

I sit on the floor
,
and she pulls on my hair for a few minutes. I remember doing this with my sisters
for hours
,
but it’s been forever
. My eyes close
. After a few minutes my hair is all neatly tucked up on top of my head.

For the first time in a long time, I feel pretty. My face shows
,
and I don’t mind. She hands me some mascara, which I put on, even though we both know you’re not supposed to share.

“Thanks.” I slip on a pair of her black flats, they’re a littl
e big but doable, and walk
out
to go to church
.
It’s the first time that pangs of missing my family have hit me hard.

“Oh Dani!” Collette smiles
.
“You look so pretty.”

“Your daughter said I could borrow clothes…” I start to explain. I’m worried she won’t approve.

“Yep, Tracy has a lot of clothes.” She widens her eyes
in mock exasperation
, gathers her bag and scriptures
,
and heads for the door.

Michael stops in his tracks when he sees me. I can’t mistake the lo
ok in his eyes for anything but interest
.
He
keeps his eyes on mine
as he holds open the door.
I’m suddenly warm all over
.

Michael drives, Collette rides in the passenger’s seat
,
and Tracy and I take the back. I’d feel good about this if I didn’t have a belly sticking out in front of me.

~
~
~

Everyone comes into the chapel slowly and fairly quietly. There are several big families and kids of every age. Even t
he babies sit through that hour-
long meeting. I look up at Michael as he brings the sacrament to us
—broken bread
. He nods at me in encouragement to go ahead. I remember talking about thi
s with the missionaries
,
and it’s
fun to see the things I’ve learned being practiced. The room is quiet except for the occasional outburst from a small child or parents bringing children in and out.