You're Not Crazy - It's Your Mother (22 page)

Nose:
The panic.

Chin:
The flight or fright or fight.

Collarbone:
I can feel that fear even at the thought of her anger.

Underarm:
I am so scared of her.

Thumb:
I can feel that fear now.

Index Finger:
I feel that fear.

Middle Finger:
I feel the fear in my body.

Ring Finger:
I can feel the fear in my body at even the thought of her being angry with me.

Little Finger:
I can feel that fear in my body.

Karate Chop:
This fear.

Inner Eye:
This terror.

Outer Eye:
The fear of what she might say.

Under Eye:
The fear of how she would abuse me … shout at me … and say horrible nasty things to me.

Nose:
This terror of her.

Chin:
It makes me feel like a little helpless girl.

Collarbone:
This terror of her.

Underarm:
I can feel the fear in my body.

Thumb:
I am so scared of her.

Index Finger:
I can feel the panic and the flight-or-fright feeling.

Middle Finger:
The panic. The terror that she so effortlessly creates.

Ring Finger:
This terror in my body.

Little Finger
: This fear of her.

Karate Chop
: Even though I’m so terrified of her, maybe I don’t have to be.

Even though I’m so terrified of her and her rages, and her anger, maybe I can let that fear go.

Even though I’m still so terrified of her, maybe it doesn’t have to be like that. Maybe I could let the fear go.

Inner Eye:
Maybe I could realise that she’s just like a three-year-old throwing a tantrum.

Outer Eye:
Maybe I could see her for what she is – a three-year-old throwing a tantrum.

Under Eye:
Maybe I could realise that I’m grown up now, that she does not have any power over me any more.

Nose:
Maybe I could see it for what it is – all smoke and mirrors.

Chin:
My body is attuned to reacting to her rages, but the days when she could genuinely damage me are gone.

Collarbone:
All she has is rage and tantrums and insults.

Underarm:
But I choose to see them for what they are – the powerless rantings of a toddler.

Thumb:
I choose to release all fear of these rages now – they’re actually rather pathetic.

Index Finger:
I choose to release all fear of these pathetic rages now.

Middle Finger:
I choose to see them for what they really are – a three-year-old throwing a tantrum because she can’t have her way.

Ring Finger:
These tantrums are all she has left, to try to control me with, and I don’t have to be scared of them any more.

Little Finger:
I choose to release all fear of these rages now – they’re actually rather pathetic.

Karate Chop:
I’m releasing all fear of her now.

Inner Eye
: I’m telling my brain and my body that it’s okay to relax, it’s okay to let go of the fear.

Outer Eye:
There is nothing she can do to me except these impotent rages.

Under Eye:
I choose to see her as the three year old she is emotionally, and know that her rages cannot hurt me.

Nose:
I’m releasing and letting go and deleting all remaining fear of her rages and her tantrums.

Chin:
I’m choosing to feel uninvolved and peaceful around these tantrums and rages.

Collarbone:
They are powerless to hurt me, and I’m telling my body and my brain now that it’s okay – there is no danger to me.

Underarm:
My body and brain don’t have to do the flight-or-fight signals because there is no danger.

Thumb:
There are only the powerless, pathetic, impotent rages of a three year old.

Index Finger:
I’m releasing all fear from all of my body now. I’m letting go every last bit of fear.

Middle Finger:
I’m installing peace and indifference now.

Ring Finger:
I choose to observe these tantrums neutrally without them affecting me.

Little Finger:
I am releasing every last bit of fear from every bit of my body and brain now.

Karate Chop:
I am choosing peace, and indifference now. I’m choosing to be able to observe these tantrums now without drowning in them. I’m choosing to see them as pathetic and silly and even mildly amusing. There is no need for any fear any more.

TAP AWAY YOUR GUILT AT GOING LC OR NC

The script speaks of cutting off contact with her. If you are just going Low Contact and are cutting down contact rather than cutting it off, just say that. 

Karate Chop:
Even though I feel this guilt at the thought of cutting off contact with her I love and accept myself anyway.

Even though I feel so guilty at the prospect of cutting off contact with her I love and accept myself anyway.

Even though I feel so incredibly guilty … at the thought of cutting off contact with her … I love and accept myself anyway.

Inside Eye:
I feel so guilty.

Outside Eye:
It’s just wrong to cut off contact with my own mother!

Under Eye:
The guilt is so hard, so painful

Under Nose:
I feel so guilty at the thought of cutting off contact with her.

Chin:
I can’t cut off contact with her. I feel so guilty at the thought of doing it.

Collarbone:
It’s just wrong. It’s just plain wrong.

Under Arm:
This guilt is overwhelming.

Thumb:
So I’m damned if I do and I’m damned if I don’t.

Index Finger:
If I stay in touch with her I’m miserable.

Middle Finger:
But if I cut off contact with her I’m miserable because I feel so guilty. It’s a no-win situation.

Ring Finger:
It’s even wrong to be doing this tapping. It’s wrong to get rid of the guilt.

Little Finger:
Because if I let go of the guilt, I’ll stop seeing her, and I feel guilty at the thoughts of that.

Karate Chop:
Even though I feel so guilty about going No Contact, I love and accept myself anyway.

Even though I feel so guilty about going No Contact, I love and accept myself anyway.

Even though I feel so guilty about going No Contact, I love and accept myself anyway.

Inner Eye:
I need to keep this guilt.

Outer Eye:
But I don’t want the guilt, because it keeps me trapped in this toxic relationship with her

Under Eye:
But I can’t let go of the guilt, because then I’ll just do what I want to do, which is to stop contacting her.

Nose:
This guilt is too much, but I need to hang onto it.

Chin:
It doesn’t matter how abusive she is … or how badly she makes me feel … I still have to keep in touch with her. Those are the rules.

Collarbone:
But maybe they don’t have to be my rules.

Underarm:
Maybe my rules say that there’s nothing wrong with protecting yourself from an abuser.

Thumb:
Being my mother doesn’t give her a licence to abuse me.

Index Finger:
Maybe there’s nothing wrong with protecting myself from an abuser.

Middle Finger:
And therefore nothing to feel guilty about. Because I’m doing nothing wrong.

Ring Finger:
Maybe it’s okay to let go of the guilt.

Little Finger:
Maybe there is no need for any guilt.

Karate Chop:
Even though I feel guilty about cutting off contact with my mother, I love and accept myself, and I consider the possibility that maybe there’s nothing to feel guilty about.

Even though I feel guilty about cutting off contact with my mother, I love and accept myself, and I consider the possibility that maybe there’s nothing to feel guilty about.

Even though I feel guilty about cutting off contact with my mother, I love and accept myself, and I consider the possibility that maybe there’s nothing to feel guilty about.

Inside Eye:
She’ll be sad and hurt and upset if I cut off contact. I don’t want to do that to her.

Outside Eye:
But I’m not doing it to her. I’m merely protecting myself from an abuser.

Under Eye:
Her pain is a Natural Consequence of her bad behaviour all these years.

Under Nose:
It is not my responsibility to protect her from consequences.

Chin:
It really is not, no matter that she taught me differently.

Collarbone
: All my life I’ve been taught that her needs are more important than mine.

Under Arm:
All my life I’ve been taught that her wants are more important than my needs.

Thumb:
But it’s not true. My needs and wants are important.

Index Finger:
And I need and want to protect myself from an abuser. Which is what she is.

Middle Finger:
I do not have to feel guilty for that.

Ring Finger:
I choose to release the guilt now.

Little Finger:
I choose to release all the guilt now, and know it’s okay to protect myself from an abuser.

Karate Chop:
I choose to release all the guilt now, and know it’s okay to protect myself from an abuser.

TAP AWAY THE FEAR OF BEING WRONG

Karate Chop:
Even though I’m scared to be wrong, I love and accept myself very much.

Even though it makes me feel sick and threatened and stressed to think of being wrong, I accept that feeling now.

Even though I just can’t be comfortable with being wrong, I accept myself anyway, and acknowledge that that is just what I

was taught.

Inner Eye:
It’s not safe to be wrong.

Outer Eye:
I have to be right, or my whole Self will be annihilated.

Under Eye:
It’s just not safe to be wrong.

Nose:
I have to be right about everything, or I am nothing.

Chin:
It’s not safe to be wrong.

Collarbone:
I feel the tension in my body when I think of being wrong.

Underarm:
It’s just too scary to be wrong.

Thumb:
I can feel the tension in my body when I think of being wrong.

Index Finger:
I just can’t be wrong, it’s not safe to be wrong.

Middle Finger:
I have to be right, or un-named terrifying things will happen.

Ring Finger:
It’s so threatening to me to be wrong.

Little Finger:
It’s not safe to be wrong.

Karate Chop:
Even though it’s not safe to be wrong, I accept myself anyway.

Even though it’s so scary and threatening and intimidating to be wrong, I accept those feelings now.

Even though it feels so scary and threatening and intimidating to be wrong, I would like to consider that maybe I can accept those

feelings and let them go.

Inner Eye:
It’s not safe to be wrong.

Outer Eye:
It feels too threatening and scary to be ever wrong.

Under Eye:
I need to be right to be in any way acceptable.

Nose:
If I’m less than perfect, I’m totally wrong.

Chin:
It feels too overwhelming to consider I might be wrong.