Your Heart to Keep: Holly and Jax (16 page)

When we sat down, I didn’t want to drop Holly’s warm hand but she did it first and placed it under her leg, turning to me.

“So, Jaxon Reynolds, what makes you, tick?”

“Not much. What you see is what you get.” Immediately realizing my mistake, I backpedalled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant was…”

“You don’t need to apologize any time you make a reference to sight. It doesn’t bother me. I joke about it. One has to be able to laugh at him or herself and not take life so seriously.”

Easing back and relaxing a little more I watched my breath billow out in front of me on a heavy exhale. “I appreciate your understanding. Sometimes my mouth works before my brain.”

I didn’t really want to talk about me but she was sitting there expectantly waiting on me to elaborate about who I was. Maybe she should be asking Micah that question because most of the time I didn’t know who the fuck Jaxon Reynolds was.

“I’m an only child. My mom lives up the road in a trailer park but is working real hard to get out of there. She’s nearly ready to move too, working two jobs and all. The man who contributed his sperm to my creation, left years ago and we haven’t seen him since. My pet hates are liars and those who think they are better than others and someday I want to pay for my mother to visit Italy where some of her ancestors are.”

“You love her so much, I can tell. I can hear it in your voice.”

“Nobody comes close to her. She’s everything to me. That woman raised my sorry teenage ass all by herself, putting up with my attitude and crap that I gave her and she did it all with love in her heart and a smile on her face.”

It choked me up to recall how horrible I’d been when I’d gone through my rebellious years. How I’d treated the one person who never gave up on me.

“She sounds like a wonderful mother.”

“She is.” Needing to get this topic changed quickly, I said, “My turn.”

She giggled at that. “Nice subject change. Very subtle.”

Sitting this close to her, wasn’t enough all of a sudden. I had this incredible urge to touch her delicate satiny skin again. The moonlight struck her face at just the right angle, painting half of it with its lunar brush. Her left eye glimmering in the partial light.

I couldn’t bring myself to do it though, which was surprising. I’d never had a problem instigating anything with women before. Why now? Was it because this intriguing, beautiful creature before me, was almost too pure to be touched by someone like me? Maybe I’d taint her with my roughness and pull her down to my level when clearly she was something so above that.

Instead, I warmed both hands by shoving them in my jacket before asking, “How long have you been blind?

She sighed, thinking carefully. “It’s been so long I can barely remember how old I was. It was quite gradual at first so that I hardly noticed but then the older I got the quicker it seemed to worsen.”
“Is there any cure for it? What you’ve got I mean?”

“No. Not as such. There are ways to fix many of the problems associated with Marfan’s Syndrome such as the heart transplant.”
“And the blindness?”

“There is a corneal transplant which I’ve already had but it failed so I’ve basically lived with my ten percent vision since then.”

“Shit. That must have sucked. Thinking you were going to be able to see again and then not being able to.”

“It was pretty depressing which is why I don’t want to have the procedure done again.”

“You mean you can try again and there’s a chance that it will work?”

“Yes but I’m just not sure I’m ready for that risk yet.”
She could get her sight back? She’d be able to see everything again? This was huge for her. How could she not want that? Even if there was the smallest possibility of gaining her sight, wouldn’t she jump at it?

“You should do it.”

She groaned, causing my jeans to feel like they were a couple of sizes too small.

“Not you too! Leah’s been at me to have it done.”
“Smart friend.”

“More like an annoying one. She knows how I don’t take rejection very well and have built a life around my vision. And anyway, aren’t you against transplants?”

“Yeah but this is different.”
“How?”

“Well it’s not like they are removing someone’s eye and giving it to you. It’s just the cornea.”

“Even so, the principal is the same.”

I was about to argue with her but Leah had come outside and was running over excitedly.

“Holly, there you are! I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” It was evident she’d been downing the drinks since we’d left her with Micah. I’d have to have words with my generous friend and make sure he wasn’t the one feeding her the alcohol.

“You found me!”

“I did, now come on inside and dance! Nicky Minaj is playing!”

Without further ado, she had pulled Holly up from the bench and was leading her indoors. Holly turned around, glancing over to where I was, not really focused on me but getting the general direction and then she shrugged and disappeared, leaving me feeling a little empty.

It was nice to sit and have a proper conversation with her. I had actually enjoyed it. Getting to know her was something I never imagined I’d ever want to do but it seemed the more time I spent with her, the more I wanted to know.

Some of the guys still hanging around outside turned to me, half tanked. “Jax, buddy! Good party, man! Who’s the hot chick?”

“Thanks. She’s no one you need be concerned about.” I didn’t want them looking, talking or even thinking about Holly. I wasn’t sure where inside me that had come from and why I had done a complete turnaround. Maybe it was the way she looked tonight. Maybe it was my decision to stop being an ass and to start treating her as a person. I wasn’t sure but I was trying and that’s all that mattered.

Walking back inside, I clung to the shadows again to watch her dance.

Chapter Twenty Eight

Holly

My body was moving of its own accord to the music as I let go, thankful that Leah had come and saved me from Jax’s nearness. I’d had to keep my hands under my legs the whole time to stop myself reaching for him when he’d been telling me about his father. My heart went out to him. I couldn’t begin to imagine what his life had been like without a suitable male role model to guide him.

When he’d held my hand to take me over to the bench, I’d nearly moaned at the contact. If I hadn’t pulled my hand away, I think I would have let him keep holding it for as long as possible just to feel the security it had brought me. A strong and confident grip that spoke volumes about his character. I figured that whoever was allowed into Jaxon Reynolds' circle of friends was rewarded with steadfast loyalty and protection.

We’d crossed a hurdle tonight and he’d seemed genuinely interested in chatting with me. Had some of his walls started to tumble? The walls I sensed he’d built to protect his own heart?

Leah broke me from my twilight zone. “Your friend Micah is a hottie! Sweet too!” She was slurring her words, surprising me. There was no way she’d be driving home now which left me with the dilemma of getting home. I couldn’t believe she’d drink, knowing she was driving. She had only meant to have the one beer.

“How much alcohol have you had, Leah?”

“Oh, a bit. I’m fine. Why”
“Um, because I’m not letting you drive us home when you’ve been drinking.”

“It’s only early. I’ll be okay by then.”

I touched my braille watch, discovering that it was already 11pm. I wasn’t sure how long my friend was planning on staying but if she was hoping to sober up in the next hour or so, she was dreaming.

“I think we should just call a cab and leave your car here until tomorrow. I’m probably going to head home soon.”
“Nooo, stay longer. Please? I’m having such a good time and I want to talk to Micah some more.”
“Really?” Came a familiar voice. “Well, here I am. Talk away!”

Leah chuckled, “If you keep your hands there, I’m not going to be able to talk, let alone think.”

Micah hummed, “What about there? Is that better? Or maybe here?”

Holy crap! What was Micah doing with his hands? Was he planning on hooking up with Leah? Shoot. Not that I didn’t think they would be good together but my friend was well on her way to being drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly.

Suddenly three was a crowd so I pulled my cane from my pocket and flipped it out, moving in any direction just to get away. Before I stopped, I felt a pair of hands on my hips and a body pressing in to me from behind.

And then lips were at my ear, “Hey baby. You look sexy as sin. I’ve been watching you all night. How about a dance?”
The voice wasn’t one I recognized as the stench of alcohol washed over me. A hard bulge pressed in to my ass as his arms locked around me from behind.

Trying to pull away, he held me fast. “Aww, come on. I don’t mind that you’re blind. All the better. It’ll be kinky.”

“Let go of me!” Panic started to grip me, having never been man-handled before. I tried to elbow him in the stomach but my arms were held firm at my sides.

“Not gonna happen sweetness! I saw the way you were swaying those hips provocatively, teasing every guy in the room. You want it and I’m just the one to give it to you.”

My breath was coming out in puffs, my head turning from side to side wishing someone would notice and save me from this drunk.

His sloppy tongue found my neck and started to lap me like a dog making me feel sick.

“Ewww. Get your tongue off me!”

Suddenly the hands that had me imprisoned, were ripped away followed by a loud crack, a pained groan and then a thud.

The growled words that came next were almost feral in quality, “Get your fucking slimy hands off her! Didn’t you hear the words, ‘Let me go?’ What part of that don’t you understand? Touch her again and I’ll wipe the floor with you!”

Then I was being pulled away and a voice that bathed me with its depth, shot out, “I’m taking her home. Micah, call Leah a cab. We’ll get her car tomorrow.”

A door opened and then the frosty night air hit my face, Leah’s calls to me in the background lost as the front door was slammed.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking you home!”
“But, I came with Leah. I should go home in a cab with her.”

“Nope. Not happening” His voice had taken on a throaty, possessive tone that both scared me and excited me.

We stopped and something hard and cold was thrust at me. “Here put this on.”

My fingers grazed over the object as I quickly tried to determine what it was that I needed to wear. It was rounded with a squared cut out piece on one side. The inside was padded and if I wasn’t mistaken, it felt like a helmet.

“Oh no! That is not going to happen.”

“Put it on, Holly.”

I handed it back to him. “No! If this is what I think it is, there is no way I’m getting on a motorbike.”

Snatching it out of my hands before I could protest further, the object was pushed down onto my head, my hair being pulled out of my face with those same big calloused hands that had held mine, comfortingly earlier. Now there was no comfort in them, just control and purpose.

“This is not up for debate!”

“But…”

”No! Party is over. I’m taking you home. Leah will be fine.”
Getting on a motorbike with Jax who had probably been drinking was the stupidest thing I could be doing. For starters, I’d never been on a bike and secondly I didn’t want to be driving with someone who was angry. Not a good combination.

“Jax. Take this off me! I’m not getting on a bike with you. You’ve been drinking.” I didn’t know that for sure but he was a guy. They consumed alcohol, didn’t they?

“I’ve had one beer. I’m not drunk. I’m probably the only one at this party sober enough to drive you home.”

With that, I was lifted up, legs kicking and placed on the bike, Jax climbing on in front.

“Put your arms around me and hold on. Tight.”

Shit. What was I doing? Even if I could see, I’d be afraid. I’d heard all the news reports about various motorbike accidents resulting in fatalities so holding on for dear life wasn’t an issue.

I silently prayed that I’d arrive home in one piece as I wrapped my arms around him, feeling his solid, unrelenting frame. I sucked in freezing air at my body’s reaction to having my groin pressed in to his butt.

His torso tightened under my fierce hold but he didn’t say anything as he fired up the bike and slowly eased out onto the road.

My helmeted head was pressed sideways against Jax’s back. I shut my eyes against the icy wind, whipping across the helmet.

Even under the softness of his jacket I could feel the hardness of his body. The sculptured dips and mounds of his muscles.

Each time he leaned into a corner, a different part of his flesh tightened then released. I’d lost all feeling in my fingers but the bike ride was more fun than I’d imagined as I settled in to it. Sensual almost. Maybe it was who I was wrapped around that had stolen my fear.

Before long the bike was slowing, fueling my disappointment that we couldn’t just keep riding onto the open highway.

Two firsts in one night. The party and the bike ride. I was proud of myself for the latter but wasn’t too sure how my parents would react to Jax bringing me home on his bike.

When we stopped and parked, Jax got off, leaving a freezing hole in his wake. He reached for my helmet and gently took it off as I shivered.

“You’re freezing.” He rumbled, as his hands gripped my waist, lifting me off and placing me on my feet which were suddenly feeling wobbly.

“I’m fine,” I offered pulling my leather jacket together tightly at the front and folding my arms.

Fingers came up to my face, feathering my cheek. “Liar.” His hand was cold too but it still managed to burn me on contact.

I lifted my head to where his face would be and whispered, “You’re cold too.”

His fingers shook whether from the cold or something else, I wasn’t sure as they moved up and down my jaw, barely there.

“It doesn’t matter about me.”
“Yes. It does.”

When I felt the pad of his thumb graze my bottom lip and pull it away from my teeth, followed by a low, gravelly grunt, my hand moved on its own to search for his face. Just one touch. That’s all I needed. The sensation of prickly stubble, had me jerking my hand away quickly and squeaking, “Oh!”

Jax chuckled, “It’s just hair, Angel.” And then his hand was on mine, drawing my fingers back to his jaw, holding it there so I could get used to it.

Angel? He’d called me angel? What a turnaround. I liked the endearment even though I had no idea why he’d suddenly called me that.

When he seemed positive I wouldn’t pull away again, which I didn’t, he let go and I began an unsure exploration of his face, moving across the slight bump in his nose, up his temples, over his eyelids which were closed and back down to his mouth, picturing each feature in my mind. His mouth is what had me panting. Moist and full and slightly open with a hot breath, warming my fingers, sending tingles all the way down to my toes.

His other hand had moved from my mouth to cradle my cheek and jaw. I used all my fingers to trace the outline of his mouth, top and bottom, before I could feel his hand move to the back of my neck, pulling me in closer.

Was this it? Was he going to kiss me? Did I want him to? Yes! Yes, I did. The pull and sense of familiarity I felt in that moment, like I’d done this before was so strong that I let him take charge.

“So beautiful.” He muttered.

Feeling his face almost to mine, I moved both hands from his mouth to his head, weaving my fingers through his soft hair.

And then those decadent lips took mine, tentatively at first, increasing in pressure and intensity. I hoped I didn’t appear like the amateur I was as I tried to mimic his mouth, pushing and pulling, slowly opening more for him so that his tongue could find mine.

A metal object caused me to inhale loudly and pull away slightly. “You have something in your mouth.”

“Uh huh.” That very mouth was on my neck now, the cool metal on his tongue searing a path from my ear to my collarbone, a mixture of both hot and cold. His molten lips were in contrast with the object.

“What is it?” I asked, leaning my head to the side, exploding in sensation as he nibbled on the area just below my ear.

“It’s a tongue stud. Let me show you how it works.” The words were almost incoherent or maybe it was my brain shutting down at the glorious ocean of need washing over me as he sucked and nipped up my jaw, finding my mouth again. 

My being was on fire at the softness of his lips, yet the hardness with which they were pressed to mine as the tip of my tongue touched his stud, flicking it and lapping at it. He let out a deep moan into my mouth and I soon followed suit, my hand in his hair, gripping his head. Both of his hands moved to my back, pulling me against him as his head and mouth changed position and angled just right to deepen the kiss. Our lips continued to sweep and play. Each time his mouth widened over mine, twisting slightly it dragged a sound from his throat that lit my insides. I was lost in the kiss, free from time and space. Boundless. Floating on sensation alone. This was nothing like I’d ever imagined it to be. Jax was just as immersed in me as I was in him. His heart drummed with mine as they found the same rhythm. I never wanted this moment to end and if I was honest with myself, kissing suddenly didn’t seem like enough.

A far away noise like a front door opening, dragged me from the vacuum that was Jax’s mouth and back to the now.

My lips felt gloriously puffy, my senses highly alert, my body humming.

He placed his forehead to mine and huskily whispered, “What was that?”

“I think one of my parents opened the front door to see whose bike has pulled up.”

“That’s not what I meant. I was referring to…” His lips melded to mine again in a softer, more delicate offering before he pulled back. “That. This. You. Me. What is this?”

I truly didn’t know. I didn’t have a clue but whatever it was, I wanted more. Much more.

“It’s hard to put into words but ever since you first touched me, I’ve had this need to be closer to you. I don’t know what’s happening. It scares me.” There. I’d let him know exactly how I felt. I wasn’t sure how he would react.

“It scares the hell out of me, Angel. I know I shouldn’t be doing this. My head is screaming at me to back off but I’m not sure I’m strong enough. After that kiss, it’s going to be impossible.”

“Holly?” My father’s voice had me jerk away quickly from Jax, embarrassed that he’d probably seen me exchanging spittle with a guy they’d never met but had heard all about.

“I’ll be in soon, Dad.”

“Make sure of it, it’s late.”

“Two minutes!” I called, silently cheering when I heard the door close again.

“Is daddy protective of his little girl?” Jax asked, touching my neck with his knuckles, dragging them up and down, pulling me away from reality again and back into his gravitational pull.