Touch Me There (36 page)

You can repeat this exercise using more than one finger. In doing so, it may be easier to cross your middle finger over your index finger, an action that will provide the most direct stimulation to your partner’s G-spot. As you and your partner’s technique becomes more advanced, you can use more fingers or move on to the use of a slender dildo or butt plug.

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TIPS
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Build your comfort level on your own time.

Practice controlling your external sphincter. Visualize that you are holding an ob- ject, like a marble, in your anus. As you imagine sucking it in, tighten your muscles, and as you imagine pushing it down, release your muscles. As you continue to vi- sualize, change the size of the object, perhaps to that of a ping-pong ball, imagin- ing in detail what the object would feel like in your anal sphincter and how you could control its location. Another good idea for building your comfort with anal play is to start with smaller sex toys, like dildos and butt plugs, to get yourself warmed up and used to the idea of having something in the orifice.

Press on other hot spots while stimulating the anus.

In particular, pressing on the sacrum or perineum is sure to yield great results.

Try 69, this time stimulating each other’s anuses!

Fantasize.

To help you to become comfortable with an act, let your mind take you away, espe- cially if you have issues with anal play. Pretend, for example, that you’re a porn star, known for having the most desirable backside in the entire industry, or that you are a stripper or a rock-band groupie. Let yourself feel naughty. Taking on another role may help to make it more psychologically acceptable to engage in anal play.

Stimulate the G-spot during anal play.

Double penetration is an option for women who like having both their anus and vagina stimulated at the same time. Between two lovers, this can be done with fin- gers in both orifices or with a finger and a toy or two toys or a penis and a toy (whether or not it’s a dildo). Some women handle such stimulation with relative ease, while others need more effort, warming-up, and practice, especially if a large object is being used to penetrate the anus. A very different ball game from anal sex by itself, double penetration requires a lot of time, patience, and practice.

Anal Fisting

While it’s not for everyone, some people enjoy handballing, or anal fist- ing, in which a partner’s entire hand is gradually inserted into the anus. “Anal fisting” is a misnomer, however, because it’s not a person’s actual fist being inserted since the fingers aren’t curled during penetration. They are, rather, straight or overlapping.

Not an amateur activity, fisting requires everything anal sex does, but a lot more of it—a lot more time, practice, relaxation, patience, de- sire, communication, trust, lube, and education. Cleanliness is of even greater concern since there is a much larger chance of rectal tissue tearing, and the use of a latex or nonlatex glove by the fister is a must, given the increased chance of bleeding. To learn more about how to properly, safely engage in anal fisting, check out Tristan Taormino’s
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women,
2
^nd
edition (see Resources and Recom- mended Reading).

Anal Intercourse

Many lovers like anal sex because it can provide a tighter feel than other types of stimulation and is great for prostate stimulation. It is typically done with both partners face down in a rear-entry position or in a man- on-top position, though there are lots of other positions that allow for anal sex (see Chapter 14 from some examples). Doggie style is the easiest if you’re the thruster, because it allows you to easily see your partner’s anus and what you’re doing, allows for good angle of penetration, and helps you with balance, rhythm, and thrusting.

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EXERCISE 11.2:
Anal Probe

1. Start by going through steps 1–7 of the finger-penetration exercise (Exercise 11.1: Slip Inside).
   
2. After getting the anus warmed up with your finger(s), lubricate the penis or dildo (and condom), and gently and slowly insert the (con- dom-covered) penis or toy into the rectum. Keep checking in with your partner to make sure they are doing okay: “Does that feel good?” “Do you need me to slow down?” “Let me know when you want me to go farther.”
   
3. When your partner is ready, slowly begin thrusting, keeping a con- trolled pelvic thrust, taking care not to tear the anal lining (or the condom).
   
4. Regularly ask how your partner is doing to make sure that they are comfortable and pain free.
   
5. Continue thrusting, speeding up the pace as much as the bottom partner can handle, being sure to communicate with them to make sure that everything is all right.
   
6. Either one of you can stimulate the bottom partner’s genitals, nip- ples, or other hot spots for even more head-spinning results.
   

Yoga Poses for Buttocks Stimulation

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POSE 11.1:
Stimulation of Buttocks

One partner’s position:
Get into a version of Frog Pose (Bhekasana), by lying on your stomach, legs apart, feet flexed. Your weight should be on your knees and your forearms as you lift your torso up.

YOGA POSE 11.1: Stimulation of buttocks

Other partner’s position:
Mimic your partner’s pose, pressing your belly into their buttocks, straddling your lover from behind. Your weight should be supported by your knees and hands, and your arms should be spread straight on either side of your partner’s waist.

Breathe simultaneously, holding for one to five minutes.

Results:
This is a great position in which to breathe and channel energy into your root chakra, releasing sexual energy; plus, it helps your flexibil- ity, preparing you for more advanced sexual positions. The bottom part- ner’s rear end is stimulated as well.

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POSE 11.2:
Buttocks Play

One partner’s position:
Get into Goddess Pose (Supta Baddha Kona- sana), lying flat on your back, soles of your feet together, knees apart and falling toward the floor.

Other partner’s position:
Facing your partner’s feet, get into Upward Dog (Urdhva Muhka Svanasana). With your legs lying on either side of your lover’s head, place your hands on either side of their feet and lift your upper body till your arms are straight.

Hold for up to five minutes.

YOGA POSE 11.2: Buttocks play

Results:
This position allows the bottom partner to play with the top partner’s buttocks and provides easy access to the perineum for stimula- tion there.

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POSE 11.3:
Pelvis on Buttocks Stimulation

One partner’s position:
Lay on your back and lift your legs straight up in the air, maintaining your balance by keeping your hands on your lower back. Slowly bring your legs over your head, until your toes touch the floor behind your head. You may choose to bend your legs slightly or you can keep them straight. Keep your chin away from your chest, to maintain your breath, as your partner rests their pelvis against your buttocks. You can then grab the back of your lover’s thighs, which allows you to stay more connected.

Other partner’s position:
Get on your knees behind your partner’s legs. Press your hips into their buttocks as you bend backward into a partial Camel Pose (Ustrasana), your hands resting on your lover’s heels, your back arched.

Hold for up to one minute.

YOGA POSE 11.3: Pelvis on buttocks stimulation