Touch Me There (39 page)

Sexual Health Considerations

As I have already mentioned, sharing a sex toy can put one at risk for STIs; namely, chlamydia, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, and HIV. If a toy is made of jelly, rubber, or vinyl, all of which are porous materi- als that therefore cannot be disinfected, you should either only use it on yourself or cover it with a condom and change condoms when you want to change partners or orifices. If the toy is made of silicone, metal, glass, or acrylic (nonporous materials), it can be (1) disinfected before use on an- other partner by using hot water and an antibacterial soap or by rinsing it in a ten-to-one bleach solution (ten parts water to one part bleach), or

(2) covered with a condom that is changed between partners and between use in different orifices on the same partner.

As you read about the recommended ways for using each of the fol- lowing sex toys, consider where else they can be used and how. Don’t limit yourself to the major hot spots discussed here. For example, your fingers and tongue do a sensational job of stimulating your erogenous zones, but using a toy on your acupressure and/or reflexology points can make for a totally different experience. Don’t be afraid to think outside of the box.

Vibrators

Although these are best known for their genital pleasuring, especially cli- toral, vibrators can be used almost anywhere on the body of either sex. You can work this type of motorized, handheld device, which often re- sembles a penis or wand, all over the body to release tension and build or- gasmic response.

FIGURE 13.1: A variety of vibrators

To titillate the male genitals, you can rub a vibrator up and down the penile shaft from head to base, slide it just behind the testicles, and push it firmly onto the perineum, all while carefully experimenting with differ- ent speeds. Make sure to continue using your free hand to stimulate other hot spots. The men’s toy called the Pleasure Wand is a particularly entic- ing model because it massages the scrotum and balls while stimulating the prostate. Its four speeds offer a range of action from mild to powerful, and its handle is designed to ensure easy insertion and removal.

Women who use vibrators tend most often to focus on the clitoris. Many women report having had their first orgasm or first multiorgasmic experience while experimenting with a vibrator. This may happen the first time she uses a vibrator or after a few times of fooling around and becom- ing more comfortable with it, with or without a partner. It’s important not to put pressure on yourself or your lover to have an earth-shattering re- sponse to this toy; any loaded expectations can shut down orgasmic re- sponse, making the whole experience more stressful than fun.

To use a vibrator on the clitoris, work it either back and forth or up and down. A circular motion will also produce rave reactions. No matter what motion you use, the trick is to ease off every now and then so the cli- toris does not become numb and desensitized. Take this opportunity to

move the vibrator to her inner lips, perineum, and mons pubis, sending vi- brations throughout her entire vulva.

Clitoral stimulators come in a variety of shapes, sizes, colors, and tex- tures, and they offer many different features. For example, there are silver egg-shaped vibrators, dial-controlled battery packs, and a host of water- proof, jelly, plastic, double-headed, and ribbed models. Some are remote- controlled, secured in place with straps or panties, for discreetly taking one’s pleasure out in public. Some vibrating toys are meant to pleasure more than one spot. The vibrating cock ring can provide both clitoral and penile stimulation. Some varieties come with a “clitickler” attachment, a soft rubber sheath of sorts that helps the vibrator cup the clitoris, focusing sensations directly onto this spot. Among the bestsellers at my website, www.sexualitysour
ce.com, are the Blue Waterproof Delight and the Ultra- Tech 3000, a less expensive but equally satisfying version of the infamous Rabbit vibrator.

G-spot vibrators and attachments open up a whole new world of moves and stimulation. Among the plethora of choices, the Rabbit Habit has been an international sensation. Its “rabbit ears,” which can be ad- justed to vibrate at different speeds, flutter against the clitoris, and the at- tached shaft moves to stimulate both the G-spot and the vaginal opening. “Tongues” are vibrators that feature a flattened, tongue-shaped top that wags back and forth. Designed mostly for mimicking cunnilingus, “tongues” can be used on other hot spots, like the anus or nipples. This

type of vibrator can also stimulate the entire vulval area.

As sex toys become increasingly more advanced and more expensive, don’t be afraid to experiment with household products. After all, the Hi- tachi magic wand got its start as a home back massager, and it is now rec- ommended as a sex toy, especially for women who have orgasmic disor- ders. When you first use the Hitachi, be sure to place a towel or panties between it and the clitoris because the vibrations it produces can be too strong for some women. Other household gadgets you could use for clito- ral sex play include Jacuzzi jets, the other end of your electric tooth- brush (made more sanitary by covering the unit with a washcloth or paper towel), or a shower massage device, which can be aimed to spray hot water directly against your clitoris.

Pumps and Cylinders

A 3-inch-tall by »-inch-wide cylinder with a handheld vacuum, the clit pump is a device that temporarily expands the size of the clitoris. It does this by drawing the clitoral flesh into the tube via an intense suction, en- hancing this hot spot’s sensitivity using a pulling sensation. It can also be used on the nipples in a circular motion, stimulating them with vibrations and suction that cause increased blood flow. It’s perfect for sadomasochis- tic (S&M) or gender sex play, because a woman or her lover can control the intensity and duration of the suction with a quick release of the unit’s hand pump. Since the suction is very strong, be sure to carefully read the product’s safety information before using it.

The Eros Clitoral Therapy Device (Eros-CTD), approved by the FDA for women with arousal disorders, enhances clitoral sensitivity and wom- en’s responsiveness. A soft suction cup is placed over the labia and clitoris, and a squeeze-bulb hand pump evacuates air from the cup, gently draw- ing extra blood into the clitoris in order to increase its erotic sensitivity. Women who are in need of increased blood flow to the genitals, and those who aren’t, have found that the device helps to increase vaginal lubrica- tion and clitoral sensations, provides greater sexual satisfaction, and aids them in more easily expressing orgasm, though these reactions vary from woman to woman, if any change is noticed at all. Available by prescription only, the device has no side effects.

A similar device, Selene, which is designed specifically for clitoral benefits, is available without a prescription. This pump, which may be used with or without its vibratory feature, pulls blood into the clitoral area and the surrounding tissue, powerfully stimulating the clitoris. Cre- ated by sexologist Dr. Laura Berman, the Selene is said to increase genital lubrication, sensation, and the ease of attaining orgasm.

Nipple Teasers

Nipple teasers, or clips, clamp onto the nipples to provide sensation ei- ther during breast play or during the entire interaction if left in place. They come in a wide range of sizes that allow users to adjust the pressure.

Tugging on the toy’s chain or activating its vibrator attachment (if it has one) provides even more stimulation.

For those who are into strong nipple stimulation, nipple rings are a version of this toy that create arousal sensations without actually piercing the nipple. Stimulation strength is altered by pulling the clips apart, and a lover can tug them off at the height of climax to produce more body-tin- gling sensations.

Butt Plugs

Inserted into the rectum, a butt plug (such as the Hot Pinks Love Plug) can be used in a thrusting motion or, if it has a flare around the middle, can be left in place during other sex acts. Either way, a butt plug provides a feeling of fullness that users like, and it can heighten one’s climax. Butt plugs are available in different sizes, shapes (e.g., phallic-shaped), and tex- tures (ribbed, bumpy, ridged, or smooth); usually have a flared base (to prevent it from getting “lost” in the rectum); and sometimes come with a vibrator feature (which can help to relax the anal muscles). Note: This type of toy may slip or shoot out of the anus as you become aroused or climax.

Climax Beads

Ranging from soft to firm in texture, climax, or anal, beads usually consist of four to ten balls made of latex or hard plastic that are strung along a length of plastic, rubber, cotton, or nylon cord, often with a ring at the end. Available in a variety of sizes, with half-inch-diameter balls being the most popular, the entire string of beads is inserted into the anus, one lube- coated bead at a time, stimulating anal nerve endings and providing pros- tate massage. This experience can be made even more pleasurable if it is accompanied by the stimulation of other hot spots. The beads are typi- cally left in place until the user is near climax, when they are pulled out, slowly and gently, one by one, intensifying orgasm. Using a condom over the beads, with a knot tied in the end of the condom, helps to keep them clean (especially since the soft or jelly rubber beads are difficult to clean).