Touch Me There (25 page)

Other partner’s position:
Sit on the floor, wrapping your legs and arms around your partner, taking hold of their big toes while straightening your spine.

Hold for ten breaths, breathing air slowly into your pelvic floor.

Results:
This pose will stretch the muscles needed for advanced sex po- sitions and will open the root, sacral, and heart chakras. It stretches the “sex nerve” in the inner thigh as well as the channels that benefit the re- productive systems of both sexes, specifically the kidney, liver, and spleen meridians.

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9
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The Mind-Blowing Spots

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our head is covered with a plethora of hot spots, and it houses the most significant one of all. If a misconception exists about any of the erogenous zones discussed in this chapter, it’s that their pleasure capacity is secondary—that they’re not where all of the action ultimately happens, so they’re less interesting. This notion couldn’t be further from the truth. Not only do these body parts turn us on and heat things up, but making them the sole focus of sex play can result in climax. When coupled with erotic thoughts or fantasies, touching any one of these spots can trigger what’s known as an
extragenital orgasm,
or
spontaneous orgasm,
an

orgasm that is reached
without
genital contact.

When you stimulate any of these areas, give them as much attention as you would the genitals. Be open-minded to everything they have to offer—there really are no limits. Embracing them as hot spots will enable you to get off in ways you may have been unaware of, ways you’ve never imagined. As we’ll discuss in more detail at the end of this chapter, your mindset during sex play is your most powerful tool in helping you attain peaks of sexual pleasure. If you allow your expectation to be “anything can happen,” you may end up magnificently, erotically surprised.

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The Scalp

Giving your partner a head massage is one of the most sensual, soothing ways to seduce, show your love to, or simply pamper your partner. Mas- saging the scalp helps lovers to relax because it releases oxytocin, a stress- response hormone that produces a state of calm, especially in women, and enhances sexual pleasure. A scalp massage is a lovely form of foreplay and a terrific way to unwind together, whether or not you’re up for more heart- pumping intimacy later.

Playing with your partner’s hair during a head massage can also be a very luscious activity. In Taoist medicine, an abundance of hair is consid- ered a sign of strong sexuality and great sexual energy, especially in men, so think about this as you twirl, twist, and stroke your lover’s sensuous strands. If your partner doesn’t have any hair, then you have an even bet- ter opportunity to work the scalp, running your fingers over its smooth, softly textured skin.

As you perform the following massages, take your time. Stay relaxed and breathe deeply as you work the stress and toxins out of your love’s skin and muscles. Imagine that you’re the one receiving the massage so you can better gauge the pace and pressure to use. What would feel good to you? Where should you linger? What part needs revisiting? Don’t be afraid to interrupt the massage to ask where more or less stimulation is needed. You may not always get a response, however, which is a pretty good sign that you’re doing a fabulous job. Likewise, be aware of your partner’s responses that indicate your efforts are paying off; for example, the body slumping, moans, and heavier breathing. Be sensitive to any ten- sion points, giving them extra attention. Stay in the moment, enjoying the touch, the intimacy, and the bonding, and be mindful not to rush. Giving and receiving loving touch is one of life’s greatest gifts.

There are fifteen acupoints on the head: three between the eyebrows and front hairline, and twelve between the front and back hairline.

The following head massage is most easily performed with the mas- seuse sitting behind the receiving partner. The importance of taking your time as you proceed step-by-step cannot be emphasized enough.

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EXERCISE 9.1:
A Head Massage to Die For

1. Luxuriously run your fingers through your lover’s hair.
   
2. Carefully grab and lightly pull fistfuls of hair near their scalp, which helps relieve any tension.
   
3. Scratch the scalp, being careful not to dig in too much. Use your nails to make long sweeping strokes over the curve of the head. If you don’t have nails, use your fingertips to provide more of a knead- ing action.
   
4. Switch to a shorter scratch that mimics an attempt to pick up a small object.
   
5. Drop your efforts to the base of the head, where it meets the neck. Knead this area, using firm upward presses with your thumbs. Work your way behind the ears, using the same repetitive upward and for- ward motion.
   
6. When you arrive at the temples, use the outside of your thumbs— primarily the knuckle where the thumb and hand meet—to provide firm, circular massage.
   
7. Switching to the knuckle bone in the middle of your thumbs, mas- sage the forehead. Push from the temples to the middle of the scalp and back downward again along the hairline.
   
8. After a while, change the path so that you’re making this movement directly above the eyebrows.
   
9. Once again, using the knuckle closest to where the thumb meets the hand, return the movement to the middle of the forehead. Pull downward on either side of the face, sweeping past the area where the ear and head meet, across the jaw, and down the sides of the neck.
   
10. Repeat this step, this time running from the top of the middle of the forehead, between the eyes, and down the sides of the nose to the
    

    chin. Take the time to focus on the mid-eyebrow area. Reflexology holds that pressing this point stimulates the pituitary gland, some- times referred to as the “crystal room cavity of the spirit tongue.”
    

11. End the massage by cupping the middle of the forehead with the palm of one hand, fingers facing up, for a few moments, sending lov- ing energy into your partner’s third-eye chakra, directly between the eyebrows.
    

The result: This activity promotes touch receptivity by relaxing the body. This is especially important for those with orgasmic difficulties, since relaxation helps to promote sexual response during more genital- focused activities. Acupressure stimulation of the third eye will stimulate and balance the endocrine system, particularly the pituitary gland.

This exercise can be repeated in the bathtub or shower as you and your lover wash each other’s hair. The shampoo lather will make your massaging movements even easier. Brushing your lover’s hair, especially when it’s dry, can also feel really good and can promote bonding, since any grooming activity is usually regarded as quite personal.

The following exercise focuses more on the scalp’s acupressure points and is a great alternative when you want to focus on energy flow.

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EXERCISE 9.2:
Awakening

1. With your partner’s head in your lap, cup the back of their head with your hands.
   
2. Place your fingertips in the little hollows where the neck and skull meet. These are the Gates of Consciousness points (see Figure 9.1 on the next page); they allow energy to flow, making sex glorious.
   
3. Gradually increase the pressure.
   
4. Take the side of your partner’s head into your hands and press into these points as you slowly tilt the head backward.
   
5. Now slowly move it forward. As you perform these movements, keep your breath in unison with your partner’s.
   
6. Repeat the same movements, this time with the head in the center position (neither tilted forward nor back), pressing the large hollow
   

   at the base of the skull—the medulla, sexual reflexology’s Yui-Gen (also known as the cranial pump; see Figure 9.1).
   

   FIGURE 9.1: The Gates of Consciousness, Yui-Gen, and Wind Mansion acupressure points
   

   

7. Using the middle fingers of both hands, apply pressure on the me- dulla to activate the Wind Mansion acupressure point (see Figure 9.1); at the same time, slowly pull the head toward you, elongating the neck’s vertebrae.
   
8. Grasping the head at the jaw, gently pull the head toward you so that the neck muscles are stretched.
   
9. Throughout this exercise, try to breathe together using long, slow breaths.
   

The result: These moves will help to increase your lover’s circulation and awaken the senses. Furthermore, stimulating the Gates of Conscious- ness points during sex by holding them will heighten your lover’s senses and consciousness, producing a natural high, especially if your partner is breathing deeply, eyes rolled upward and eyebrows raised. Activating the