Through The Lens (8 page)

He padded out the door,
and I tried to get the imagery out of my mind. Bradley was like my brother but
sometimes I became aware of how much he was like a guy and not really my blood
brother.  I took in the state of his room.  His room was still in a state of
mess.  Clothes were in a pile in the corner next to the closet door.  The desk
was totally unorganized.  Gaming equipment lay next to the chest of drawers,
which held his TV on top. And I doubted he was going to clean anytime soon,
this was just the way Bradley operated.

When he came back in
the room, I could tell his mouth open in some form of apology and I  held up my
hand.  “No further explanation.  You know I have a brother who has no shame. 
He goes to great lengths to get me to blush.  I’m well aware of the workings
and how guys wake up in the morning,” I said, with wide gestures of my hands to
circle in the air.

“So,” he said. “What
brings you to my abode so early in the morning?”

“Have you looked at a
clock?” I asked.  “It’s not early.”

Looking over, he
shrugged. “I had a late night of online gaming.”

“Whatever,” I said. I
scoffed at his habits and how they mirrored my brothers.
Boys
. But I
don't concentrate on it long because they were something more important. And
after a moment, I blurt, “Madison came by this morning.”

Perking up, he sat a
little straighter in his desk chair he’d planted himself on.  “Was she on her
way to work?”

“Yeah,” I said. I look
up to his green eyes, wary but knowing I had to broach this topic “Have you
told her yet?”  The way his eyes instantly flicked away told me no, he hadn’t. 
Sighing, I said, “You need to tell her.” 

“God, you know her
family. They’re all religious. She’d probably gone to your house right after Mass,”
he blurted hands in tight fists in his lap.  And he was probably right about
that. Her family was very religious and went to church every Sunday.

“But you know her. 
She’d never judge you,” I pleaded.

He combed his fingers
through his blonde hair out of nervousness, but it fell back into place even
before his hand fell on his lap in defeat. “If it doesn’t matter, why should I
tell?  You’re the only one who knows.  You know my family would never
understand.”

Personally, I didn’t
think his mother would have a problem. His father I wasn't so sure of, neither
did I know about Madison's parents. But right now the first battle was between
him and her.  “You told her you love her.  And if you meant it, you should
share all of you with her.”  This was the one secret I’d held up until
yesterday from Madison.  And that was only because this wasn’t the type of secret
I should share.  It was Bradley’s business to share and his alone.  However now
that they were a couple, it was important for him to not have any secrets because
that would only lead to bigger problems.

“I do love h er,” he
said defensively. “I’ve liked her forever.  I don’t want to mess things up.  I
don’t want her weirded out if I look at another guy in passing.” Bradley
admitted. “Just because I look at a guy or another girl for that matter doesn’t
mean I find them attractive. “

Nodding in agreement, I
did know.  When you are walking down the street or in the mall for that matter,
you may make eye contact with someone.  That didn’t mean you were interested. 
It was happenstance most of the time. “Still, if you two ever broke up, or she
heard about you and another guy, she might think you were using her.”

“There haven’t been any
other guys,” he said.

“See my point,” I
proclaimed. “If you haven’t been with another guy yet, how do you know you
aren’t gay?”

“Jess,” he said,
exasperatedly. “I know how I feel.  I would never hurt Madison that way.  I do
truly love her, and there is no guy I’d want to be with in her place.”

“What happened at the
party last night?"I remembered that it was supposed to be last night but Madison
didn’t mention it, so that guy must not have been a problem.”

“We didn’t go,” he
said.

Sighing, I said, “You
can’t hide from this forever.” That said it all.  I trusted him to do it. 
Bradley wasn’t one to lie, at least not to me. “I still think you should tell
her.”

“If I do and she breaks
up with me, I will so kill you,” he said.

“You’re in a pickle,” I
said.

Shaking his head, he
said, “Why do people say that?”

“Maybe because you have
a sour look on your face,” I retorted.

I left his house
thinking how complicated even my friends' lives were.   If Madison didn’t fall
madly in love with Bradley, he would be devastated.  If she stayed with him out
of some misguided sense of friendship, that would end up even worse.  I could
only hope that she would fall for him the way he had with her.  My own lack of
relationships left me wondering if she should already feel that way about him,
and what did it mean that she didn’t?

Taking a deep breath, I
opened the door to my house to get ready for my own tangle of webs.  I was
going to hang out with a celebrity and have tea.  It was totally wild.  As
interesting as that sounded, I couldn’t help but look forward to spending time
with Ethan on Monday.

After a shower, I felt refreshed and
renewed.  It was eye opening how water could bring things into perspective.

My mother who worked
seven days a week had gone in early to the bistro.  My father was up in the
attic still tackling the task of cleaning out the attic. So, knowing my Mom
wouldn’t care, I rummaged through her closet for something to wear. 

Jenna was like a size
zero.  No, make that a size negative if there was such a thing.  I’d gotten
down to a size close to my mom.  And that’s where my mother came in.  I was
hoping to find something a bit stylish but not to outdated in her closet to
wear to posh ladies tea.  I wasn’t the social butterfly, and all my clothes
felt a little too juvenile.  My Mom was the shopper of the family.  She and
Jenna spent endless time at the malls. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it
either.

Off in the back of my Mom’s
walk-in closet in a clear plastic bag, most likely back from dry cleaning was
the loveliest dress I’d seen so far.  It was a shimmering aqua blue color, off
the shoulder, and probably would hit me just above the knee or slightly
higher.  The embellishments on the shoulder were minimal, and everything else
was perfect.  With a quick call to my Mom, I was walking into my room with the
dress and her full approval.

After I got it out and
felt the light fabric, I tried it on only to realize that it still bore a tag. 
I almost felt bad, but Mom had okayed it.  She’d told me she’d bought it long
ago at some off-season sale but never found an occasion to wear it.  Looking at
it, I couldn’t imagine my mother, who was not old but certainly older, would
wear something that looked tailor made for my age group. 

It fit like a dream and
set off the color of my eyes.  My pale hair that normally looked lifeless
seemed to shimmer.  Pleased, I took the garment back and hung it up for good
measure.  When Allie came, I would ask if I should dress before we left. 
Keeping things simple, I’d pulled my hair back in a perfect ponytail without a
hair out of place.  The dress would be enough. If I’d learned anything watching
fashion police shows with my sister, it was that my hair should complement my
dress, not compete with it.

Dressed back in shorts
and a tank, I heard the doorbell ring.  Flying out of my room, I suddenly felt
giddy. Allie, in the short amount of time I’d gotten to know her, felt like a
free spirit.  She seemed to exude a carefree nature.  I had a feeling that
today would be an adventure at an otherwise droll sounding event.

The door was open, and
my brother stood before it.  His hulking body precluded me from seeing Allie,
but his still form let me know it had to be her.

“Am I having a wet
dream?” he asked no one in particular, just staring.

Shocked by his choice
of words, I moved swiftly to the door and nudged him out of the way. “Wow Kyle.
You are so...,” I couldn't find any adjective to describe him.  Looking at
Allie who seemed more amused than anything else, I said, “Don’t mind him.
Please come in.”

Allie stepped in
looking like a fashion model in similar shorts with a top that had more flair
than my plain tank.  As she pushed sunglasses from her eyes onto her head, I
closed the door behind her.  My brother still stood there gawking and
sputtering  “This has to be some sort of fantasy. You cannot possibly be here
in my house like you walked out of the poster in my room.”

Crap, I hadn't expected
her to meet my brother or thought about him recognizing her. I didn't even know
he watched that show But since they had pretty girls I shouldn't have put it
past him.  I didn’t even know he had a poster in his room of her. I tried very
hard to avoid his room at all cost.

“Will you autograph my
poster,” asked my brother, who lacked no shame.

Allie beamed at him. 
“Sure,” she said.

Taking her by the hand,
he led her upstairs to his room, as I watched openmouthed. It took a moment for
my brain to catch up, but then I followed after them.  It was a good thing. 
Allie stood on his bed facing the poster with a Sharpie in her hand.  Why did
my brother have spare Sharpies lying around?  But my immediate concern was the
camera phone my brother aimed at Allie’s backside.

“Kyle,” I cried out,
snatching the phone away.  Allie briefly looked back before resuming her
signature.  Dashing out of the room, I managed to call up the picture he’d
taken and forward it to me before deleting it.  My quick glance at the picture
just showed the full length of her, signing away.  It hadn’t been a vulgar
shot.  And such shot may be a bargaining chip later, if Allie approved of the
picture.

My brother hadn’t come
after me.  He looked torn when I stepped back in, and Allie handed him the
Sharpie.  I was sure he didn’t want to lose the mental image of her in his room
standing on his bed over a photo, at least in that moment.

Bringing Allie in my
room, I firmly shut the door.  “Should I dress before we leave?” I asked. “I
wasn’t sure.”

She was still smiling
from what she seemed to think was good fun a moment ago. “No, bring it, and we
can get dressed together.”

Nodding, I grabbed the
dress bag and a pair of strappy heels I took from Jenna’s room.  “Sorry about
my brother,” I added.

Laughing outright, she
said, “No problem.  He’s a real cutie.”

Groaning, I said,
“Don’t let him hear you say that.  He’s hard to live with as it is.”

Walking in front of
her, I peeked inside my brother’s open door before she passed.  I wanted to
make sure he didn’t have a camera waiting for her. He was behaving like a dog
in heat. Thankfully, he was equally absent from downstairs.  Without further
delay, we left the house.  My parents weren’t home so there was no need to say
goodbye.  And letting my brother know would only invite further embarrassment.

Allie was again driving
the cute convertible.  Putting my  purse I’d brought on the floor, I hoped I
wouldn’t have need of it.  I’d come prepare for the what ifs with a hair brush
and a few other essentials. With the music up, we sang again without abandon. 
And the more and more I hung out with her, the more I liked her.  Ethan became
further and further off limits.

To my surprise, we
ended up at the crowded mall parking lot. This was more than shocking.  She
would be recognized, and I wasn’t sure that the possible hordes of people would
accept her lame excuse of being a good lookalike.

She drove over to one
of the more exclusive department stores that apparently offered valet parking. 
Pulling to a stop, she had a brief conversation with the guy in the red jacket
proclaiming him a valet in bold white lettering, as another guy opened my door
for me.  Stepping out, I imagined how the upper half lived.

Interlocking our arms,
Allie pulled me along a mall I’d been to on the number of occasions when my
sister or my mother dragged me there.  Thought this was a different side of the
same that I hadn’t seen before.  Just inside the doors stood banks of
elevators.  Pressing the button, Allie declared we were headed upstairs.

Reaching the top level,
we walked out and down a short corridor to a door.  Inside, there was a desk
manned by a woman with an open face and an honest smile.  To the side was a
passage.  “Allie McDougal,” she said, announcing herself.

The woman nodded and
got to her feet.  Holding out her hand, she said, “Welcome Ms. McDougal. 
Follow me this way.” After a brief shake of hands, we were on our way.  We
didn’t go far.  We passed one door, then entered the next.  The space looked
like a fancy dressing room.  It was huge with a sofa to the side and huge
three-way mirrors with a little circular podium for someone to stand on while
admiring themselves in the mirror.

What followed next was
a well orchestrated event.  A rack of clothes was brought in.  They were
Allie’s exact size and seemed to be of styles she would be interested in. I sat
in wonderment thinking that if all shopping experiences would be like this one,
I could so enjoy a trip to the mall.  I’d totally have to talk to my Mom about
this, I thought sarcastically. When she got undressed down to her skivvies, I
found myself looking away.  There was hardly any place that didn’t have a
mirror, but I didn’t want her thinking I enjoyed the view more than a friend
would.