Through The Lens (4 page)

Looking amused, he
asked, “So what are you going to do?” Briefly, I wonder if he ever felt
burdened by having two girls for best friends while he sat back pushing his
shoulder length blonde hair off his forehead, a frequent habit of his. 

“Nothing,” I said,
heaving out a sigh.  I just needed to get that off my chest.  The guy was
taken, and Allie was really nice.  She’d even invited me to hang out with her
and Ethan after work. Though, I’d declined.  I had enough of being the third
wheel now that my best friends were dating. I didn’t plan on being a third
wheel somewhere else.

“What’s up with you?” I
asked.  He didn’t seem like himself.  He seemed...distracted.

That's when I saw it. 
Sadness.  I wanted to move over and hug him.  Instead I waited, sitting in his
desk chair, while he crossed his hands in his lap.  “I told Madison I loved
her,” he said.

Crap, I knew something
like this would happen.  I wondered why Madison hadn’t mentioned it last night
when I called.  Then again, I’d been busy rattling on about a guy that was no
longer even an option for me, never had been really.  I’m sure Madison had kept
quiet because normally, I was the one doing the listening.  And I loved her for
that.  She’d always let me have my day.  But now I hated that, wishing she
would have spoken up about it because something obviously had gone wrong with
his admission to her.

“And,” I prodded, not
really ready for it.

“And, nothing,” he
said.  “She didn’t say anything.”

Damn. “Bradley,” I
began.

Holding a hand up, he
said, “Its okay, Jess.  You don’t have to try to make it okay.  I didn’t tell
you for that. There's more.”

Nodding, I waited for
him to say what he needed to say. “You know there is a party next week we were
going to?” Despite Bradley having two girls for best friends, he had other
friends.  He was the kind of guy that got along with everyone.  And yeah, I
knew some of his other friends were throwing a summer party.  I hadn’t planned
on going though.  “I got a text from someone I’d met before school ended that
they would be there.”

Understanding was
clear.  He’d met someone before he and Madison had become a couple.  “This
person doesn’t know about Madison?” I ventured.

“No,” he said flatly.

“Madison will
understand,” I said.

Glancing away, I could
tell there was more to this story.  Was he into this other girl? “Jess,” he
said.  The way he said my name was like he was begging me to accept what he was
about to say. “It’s a guy.”

It wasn’t at all what I
expected him to say, so it took time for me to process it. “You’re gay?”

Shaking his head, he
said, “I like girls. I like girls a lot. And I do love her.” He spoke like that
needed clarification.

“So, who is this guy
then?” I questioned.  Maybe, I was a bit naive.

“There was this party a
while back.  You and Madison didn’t come.  I guess, I got a bit drunk. I had to
take a piss bad.  And I don’t remember exactly how it happened, he was there....
and he kissed me.”

You could hear a pin
drop.  Keeping an open mind, I showed no judgment. But I still couldn't form a
sentence. I was so shocked. I never expected Bradley...and a guy... “Say
something,” he pleaded.

“Did you like it?” I finally
asked.

Chuckling dryly, he
said, “Like 'I kissed a boy, and I liked it?'” His words, reminding me of the
song, I nodded.  “I don’t know.  Maybe.  It wasn’t the first time I’d kissed a
guy before,” he admitted.

Now that really threw
me.  I was starting to believe I didn’t know my best friend at all. “It
wasn’t?”

“A couple of years ago
when our family went to Florida, I ended up in the hotel pool the night before
we were leaving.  It was empty except for this other guy.  We were horsing
around, and he made a pass at me.”

“So what does this mean
for Madison,” I asked, having to get to the point of all this.

Looking down, he spoke
to his hands instead of me.  “Nothing. I want to be with her.  I’m not
interested in this guy.  But if she finds out,” he said, his words trailing
off. 

 “You need to tell
her,” I said.  I couldn’t imagine keeping this secret from her.   Then I hugged
him, because I could only imagine how huge it was for him to tell someone, even
me, his best friend.  “I love you, Bradley, no matter what. And she'll feel the
same.” I said, face still tight in the crook of his shoulder but my words were
forced and my heart was suddenly heavy.

I felt like shit,
leaving his house.  He was a good guy, and I knew he would never do anything to
hurt Madison.  But I was afraid she wouldn’t understand.  Oh, she would support
him as a best friend.  But I didn’t know how the girlfriend in her would react.

That night, I worried
about my best friends.  And my own boy troubles just didn’t seem that important
anymore.

The week went by much like the rest of
my summer.  Bradley and Madison both had jobs, so it wasn’t like I just hung
out with them.  I read a lot, and I toyed with the idea of starting a blog. 
And I waited for Madison to come and have a talk about Bradley’s news.  But the
news still hadn’t come.  He insisted he would do it, but the timing still
wasn't right.  I began to look forward to my own distraction.  My job.

Saturday, I found
myself in the booth with Allie who apparently worked here too.  I figured as
much since she showed that morning.  But I couldn’t be sure with the way some
girls act. We ended up opening together and though I hadn’t seen Ethan and
thought that was probably for the best. For multiple reasons I wouldn't have kept
my mind off if things hadn't got hopping right away.  We were slammed with a
line of customers.  I was making change when a girl’s stammering voice, edging
toward shrill, asked, “Are you Allie McDougal?”

The question from the
girl made me give my co-worker an appraising look.  I’d been struck with her
being Ethan’s girlfriend, I hadn’t really thought past that.  Now seeing her,
she did bear a striking resemblance to the actress from that hit teen show,
A
New York Life,
about a Southern girl who moves to the big city.  But it
couldn’t be.  I didn’t watch the show often, but Jenna did. So I’d caught it on
a few occasions.

“No,” Allie beamed. 
“But I get that all the time.”

The girl in the line
deflated and let her Mom finish the purchase going back to texting on her
phone. With my own string of patrons, I had to get focus back on work and not
on the strange coincidence.

It wasn't for another
hour till there was a lull in ticket sales did I get my opportunity. “You do
look a lot like Allie McDougal.  Funny, you guys should have the same first
name.” I asked.

Allie turned to me. 
Her eyes were bright and full of mischief.  “That’s because I am Allie
McDougal.”

The water bottle I’d
brought to my lips emptied a cool stream down my  air pipe before I could stop
it.  Gasping at the news, I choked and sputtered. Allie got another customer,
and I gaped at her for the entire time.

Giggling at me after
the patrons left, she said, “It’s something I’d rather not admit to the general
public.”

“Yeah,” I said, feeling
in awe of her.  She was a TV star.  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

Her face fell a little,
and I began to feel bad about intruding on her personal business. “Long story,
I’ll spare you the details.  But in short, I have to be here,” she said.  I
wondered if it was Ethan that was keeping her here.  But a girl like her could
find a ton of hot guys. Not saying Ethan wasn't a major catch. “You can keep
this quiet right? You’re not going to sell me out to the paparazzi, are you?”

My brows furrowed. “No,
I would never,” I began.

“Of course, you
wouldn’t.  You have that honest look to you,” she said with a smile.  She was
giving me a compliment, and I took it. Turning halfway serious, she added, “But
I’m holding you responsible if I have to find another gig because my cover is
blown.”

“No, sure, I mean, I
won’t tell.”  Gosh, I was a bumbling idiot.

For a celebrity, she was
easy to make conversation with or maybe it was because I'd gotten to know her
and wasn't as intimidated to talk with her?  I’d learned a bit about her during
our down time.  She was from around here but worked in Hollywood now. 

“Oh, my.God,” she
said.  Turning, I caught sight of what she saw.  There were two guys strolling
on the lawn out front.  They were gorgeous with bare sculpted chests and low
slung shorts.  I think I gaped too.  Looking at each other, we laughed. And for
a moment I couldn't believe that I was here with this celebrity, laughing, like
we were friends. It was completely surreal.  

She was fanning herself
when I got a customer.  Just as I was finishing, Ethan strolled in.  Looking at
Allie, his eyes narrowed, though his lips were quirked. “What are you two up
to?”

“It got hot in here
after we spotted those two guys over there,” she said casually.  Ethan looked
up and saw the guys we’d been ogling, still standing and talking in the same
spot.

Chuckling, he lifted
his shirt in time for me to turn and get an eyeful.  He wasn’t even a foot away
from me in this small space.  I caught sight of a great tan with well defined
muscles down to the V showing in his low riding pants.  What was it with guys
and pants? It ought to be illegal.  His body could give a girl a heart attack. 
Mine was beating thunderously.

Allie fanned herself
harder.  She touched his stomach, tugging his shirt down.  Can you be jealous
of a hand? “Do you want to start a riot?” she teased.

“Just making sure I
have your undivided attention,” he laughed, but he winking at me.  I turned
around and tried to think clearly. He and Allie were together. Allie, the
gorgeous celebrity. And I was...me. So I couldn't understand why Icouldn't slow
down my heart.

Getting another
customer, Allie turned her pearly whites on a family of four.  Ethan leaned
back on the wall behind me.  “So, Candid Camera, have you finished the roll of
film yet.”

Unable to comprehend
any words just yet, I nodded, unsure of what to do.  I had no customers and it
would be rude to ignore him.

“Where are you going to
get it developed?” he asked.  Shrugging because I was still felt stupefied, he
said, “Maybe you should let me develop it for you.  I don’t like the idea of
someone having access to my picture.  Who knows what they might do?”

Done with her customer,
Allie turned to me.  “You have pictures of Ethan?”  It wasn’t an accusation,
but the carefree girl was gone. 

Ethan laughed.  “Yeah,
I caught her taking pictures of me.”  Roses bloomed on my cheeks.  I almost
apologized to her, not knowing what else to do, but Ethan spoke, cutting me
off.  “So, why don’t you come over, and I’ll develop the pictures.  I can even
show you how if you want?”

“You should go,” Allie
said.  “He’s really good at that kind of stuff. She seemed a bit too
encouraging for me to go and I wondered if that was a inverse reaction to me
encroaching on her territory.  Still, she didn’t seem mad.

“Okay,” I said, then
turned away from them. I didn't understand any of it. And my brain was in
dangerous of shutting down with conflicting signals and confusing information.

Thankfully, I only
heard this time.  I didn’t need another eyeful.  I was certain he leaned over
and kissed her, making her giggle.  “Oh, you’re on break,” Ethan said to me glancing
at the clock on the wall. The place was small.  So standing next to Allie put
him in touching distance of me.

“Sure.” Quickly, I
flipped up the sign on my window that read
Next Window
before a customer
showed up and delayed my departure. “Back soon,” I said with a smile and
hightailed it to the break room.  Pulling out my lunch, I felt like I was in
school again.  My mother didn’t believe in us eating the school food if we
didn’t have to.  And apparently she didn’t trust what I’d find downtown. 
Honestly, I wasn’t bothered by it.  The food was good, and I didn’t have to
think about where to eat.

After throwing away my
trash and texting Madison, I headed back to work. And I was on my way
peacefully when Ethan cornered me right outside the door.  He obviously had no
qualms with personal space like I did.  No,  it seemed like he knew I was
uncomfortable and was somehow using it to his advantage. For his blue eyes
sparked with something as he stepped even closer to me.  My back hit the
doorframe in retreat.  Allie was in plain sight.  She was busy, however, with
the line that stood before her. 

“I should get back to
work,” I said, holding up a finger.

 “So tonight then?”
Ethan questioned.

Allie wasn’t as unaware
of our presence as I thought because she asked, “I thought we had plans?” while
counting change and managing a smile for the person in line so they didn’t
think she had forgotten about them. 

Okay, now things were a
bit awkward. “No, you said you had to run lines tonight,” he said over his
shoulder. He didn’t seem concerned that his words might give away who she
really was or that he was still a breath away from me.