Through The Lens (3 page)

My head turned back to
Ethan after I’d followed Mr. Jacobson’s voice to his face. Ethan’s face was
still expressionless. “Yeah, she came around asking about a job.  I was just
about to come get you.”  His stare stayed on me the entire time, blue eyes daring
me to say otherwise.  Maybe he needed this job.  I didn’t know his story, so
when I looked back at his boss, I said, “Yes, I’m looking for a job.” I found
the voice I thought I’d lost and covered for him.

“Ethan, back up front,”
Mr. Jacobson said. “What’s your name, young lady?” The boss said in a much
friendlier tone as Ethan stepped through the door.

I nearly sighed.  Ethan
hadn’t asked my name, and he wouldn’t hear it now. “Jessa Shelby,” I said,
holding out a hand.  My Dad taught me that in the business world it was
expected for you to offer a hand in greeting.  With a quick firm handshake, he
led me to the office.  I thought I might see Ethan along the way, but I didn’t.
A bit of paperwork later, and I had a summer job.  He  had been a bit desperate
looking for someone on the weekends. And my weekends had been open
indefinitely, till today at least.

“Most of the workers
are volunteers, but it’s hard to find good help.  So I need a paid reliable
person to be here on the weekends when the rest of your peers are hung over.”

Smiling, I said, “I’m
your girl.”

“Bring your Social
Security card or passport with you tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. The dress code is
all black,” Well that explained why Ethan was dressed like a bad boy straight
out of a teen romance novel. “I’ll have someone show you the ropes.”  I could
only hope that person would be Ethan.

He was ushering me out,
and my hopes fell thinking I would not get to see Ethan.  But we stopped at an
open doorway. “Ethan, say goodbye to your friend, Jessa.”

My name.  Ethan now had
my name.  He flashed me a smile and said “Bye, Jessa. See you later,” he said
winking at me.

Hearing my name on his
lips made me a little weak in the knees.  I was about to say bye back when a
group of girls with stars in their eyes strode up to the Plexiglas in front of
where he sat.  He turned and proffered them a smile; I was sure because the
giggles got louder. 

“Bye,” I whispered as I
was ushered out a side door, not the same one we came in.  I was sure he hadn't
heard it, positive with those girls in front of him now he didn't' care .“Come
to this door from now on,” Mr. Jacobson said.  I nodded, said good bye to him and
walked away.

Outside, I could see a
line forming in front of where Ethan was on display in the ticket booth, but I
didn’t walk in front of it.  He was gorgeous, and he knew it.  I wasn’t going
to be another starstruck girl.  I just wasn’t.  If we worked together tomorrow,
I wouldn’t let it be known that looking at him made my heart skip a beat.  He
seemed kinda nice, but I could tell nothing would happen between us and my
heart would crush in a thousand pieces.  He was out of my league.  I needed to
find a guy at least in my orbit first.

Overhead the sky burned the midnight
blue into an aqua color coming to life.  The air, deceptively warm despite the
appearance of night, didn’t stop the reminder that the day was Sunday.  And the
time was too early even to think about it without wanting to run back to the
warm confines of my bed.

I awoke thinking about
my conversation with Madison last night. I’d filled her in on everything that
had happened.  She, of course, said it was fate.  But I thought better of it. 

“Are you sure you want
a job?  Summer is almost over,” my Dad said that morning in the car.  He’d
volunteered to drive me to the metro because my sister had commandeered the car
for the day again.

He didn’t have to say
it because I knew the rules.  “Daddy, it’s just for the summer.  And,” I began,
cutting off whatever he might have said, as his brows were creasing. “And, it’s
only on the weekends.”  Not that it mattered.  It wasn’t like I had anything
going on, ever. But for whatever reason, I felt like I had to say it.

“Is this because of a
boy?” he asked, looking forward at the road because he was driving.  I was
grateful because I cringed in my seat at the truth of his words.

“Daddy, it’s a job. 
And it will look great on my college applications,” I said, diverting the truth
into something he would prefer to hear.  And that it wasn’t a lie. My parents
were insane about me and Jenna attending a 'prestigious' college, though they'd
never admit it. It would go against everyone was equal and they would love us
no matter what mantra. Dad didn't say anything the rest of the way but the ride
to the metro wasn’t long, especially considering the time and day it was.
Putting the car in park, my Dad stared at me. “So you now work at the Butterfly
Museum?”

“No, daddy,” I sighed.
“It is a butterfly exhibit, in a building they use for seasonal exhibits and
technically I work for the Smithsonian.”

Continuing in his
father mode, he quizzed me. “You left the contact information with your Mom,
right?” He couldn’t have been more parental with all his concern and the
worried look in his eyes. But that made me love him all the more, the way he
was still so protective and yet not overbearingly so. He just cared and that
meant a lot.

After I nodded, he
leaned over and kissed my forehead. “Call me when you need me to pick you up?”

Nodding again, I got
out of the car a bit misty-eyed.  My Dad was my world, and I couldn’t imagine
this life without him.  Steeling myself, feeling like more of an adult than
I've ever had,  I headed for the subway to make the trek downtown and to my
job
. 
Man, if that word still didn’t sound odd.

Knocking on the door
that Mr. Jacobson indicated yesterday, I didn’t imagine that Ethan would open
it. But he did, flashing me a grin that was worthy of a cologne magazine ad. I
knew his middle name was trouble.  His sly expression gave way to him glancing about.
I frowned and turned behind me to see what he was staring at. When I gazed back
at him, he looked amused.  “What?” I asked, curious.

“Oh, I was just waiting
for the candid camera.  I know how you like to take pictures of people when
they don’t know it.”

Rolling my eyes, I
passed him as he held out the door with one arm, leaving only a little gap so I
had to make contact with him as I passed. I couldn't think of why he was doing
this despite the fact he was bored and I was here, a female, a last resort
target. And yet I couldn't help the fluttering in my chest.  Reining in my
feelings, I changed topics, to give myself time to pull myself together. “I
thought Mr. Jacobson was supposed to meet me this morning for training.”

“Well, apparently my
punishment for bringing you in by an employee-only entrance was to wake up this
morning and train my new recruit,” he said, using air quotes.  He passed me and
I followed him all the way to the front where I’d seen him yesterday. “And this
is the control room,” he said, gesturing me to take a seat.  “You’re supposed
to fill out these forms and give them to Mr. Jacobson when he comes in later.”
I glanced at the papers lying on the keyboard in front of me.

Pushing them aside, he
moved in, flipping switches to bring the monitor to life.  Too bad according to
Google sweaty palms and fluttering heart meant I was on the verge of dying.  I
wondered if this place had a defibrillator because he was going to be the death
of me.

Thankfully, he didn’t
notice.  The windows where he sat yesterday with all those girls were now dark,
covered by something from the outside.  It made the two-person room feel
smaller than it was.  Hovering, his scent over me, and my mind was sent into a
frenzy.  He smelled like sex.  And no, I don’t mean like
sex
sex. 
Because how would I know?  I was still a dateless virgin who’d never even been
asked out, let alone kissed.  No, I mean like he smelled so good, I wanted to
throw myself at him and experience new things. And that had to be weird.

“So you see,” he was saying. 

See
,
I saw nothing with him behind me.  And damn, I’d heard nothing either.  He’d
been talking, and I’d missed  everything.  Call me blind, deaf, and definitely
dumb because this boy made me feel stupid.

“Am I going too fast?”
he asked, spinning my chair around to look me in the face.  Damn chair had to
be one of those swiveled deals.  Now I got a good look at the whole package,
and that didn’t help matters.

“Ah,” I stammered.
Great, now I was gawking, and he would surely see it.

The grin he sported
widened.  “You see something you like?” he asked, chuckling.

Spinning back around, I
imagined mortification turning me shades of red unknown to man. “Let’s keep
this professional,” I said.  Stupid, stupid, I felt like such a fool that he so
easily figured me out.

Fortunately, or maybe
unfortunately, he got back to business. And I thankfully could follow suit.  We
would be opening soon, and there was a lot to learn.  Pricing and scheduling
because of the size of the exhibits, only a certain number of people could come
in at any given time.  So tickets were sold in time blocks.  And other
important things like how to clock in and out so we could get paid.

Then we took a tour, he
showed me where the bathrooms and break room were.  He took me through the
exhibit for real giving me a silent tour.  Before we went in, he explained it
was important for me to see it the way the customers would in case people
buying tickets had questions.  In the quiet, it was really something to see. 
Nothing moved.  We walked side by side.  His presence next to me was no less
torturous than the first time.  However, the majesty of the place took center
stage.  I really felt like I stepped into a magical forest, occupied by fairies
or something.  Maybe I’d been reading too many fey books lately. I opened my
mouth to speak, and his finger pressed to my lips.  His mouth puckered in the
“shhh” sound.  That only made me stare at his lips and wonder what it would be
like to kiss him.  He pointed to the exhibit.  I got it.  He didn’t want me to
startle the butterflies.  So I kept my mouth shut. 

Taking it all in,
thought about what I’d googled last night. I learned more about butterflies and
their short life span.  Anywhere from a few days up to a year depending on the
species, was all the time they had.  And based on the multitude of colors I saw
yesterday, many different species lived here.  There were several podiums along
the walking route that looked to have more information about the butterflies
here, but Ethan never stopped. Silently, he pointed to things I should notice
and kept moving. The setting was so perfect, I could imagine myself sitting on
one of the benches with Ethan.  I nearly stumbled into him caught up in my
fantasy.

 We ended up back where
we started.  The tour was over.  Trying to make conversation, I prepared myself
to ask why the exhibit had been empty when he’d brought me in yesterday.  However,
while we were walking, I assumed, back to the ticket booth, a girl, with
equally good movie star good looks, bounded into the hall from the door I’d
entered earlier.  Her golden hair, highlighted with dark and light streaks,
bounced as she walked, looking natural yet perfectly done. “Ethan,” she cried
out.  Her face was alight like he was everything to her.  When she wrapped herself
in his arms and kissed him the way I’d imagined kissing him, I guessed he was
just that. Her everything. When she pulled back, he smiled at her with the same
genuine look of fondness, and my heart sank. “Hey babe, this is . . . ”

The awkward pause said
he’d forgotten my name. “Jessa,” I said twisting my lips into a smile I didn’t
feel.

She held out her hand
to me with an inviting look that held no jealousy.  That stung a little, that I
didn’t feel like competition to her. She said, “I’m Allie.”

And that is how I met
Ethan’s girlfriend.

Hopping out of the car, I made my way to
Bradley’s house.  Madison had to work.

“Make sure your back for dinner,” my Dad
called after me.  Sunday dinner was a ritual at our house and sacred.  It was
the one meal a week we had together so it was hard to have an excuse to miss.

“Yes, daddy,” I said
heading a few doors down the street.

Bradley and I had been
friends as long as I could remember.  Since diapers maybe.  His Mom was like my
second mother.  She was never surprised to see me and always ready to feed me,
coming in with snacks, telling me how she thought Jenna was too skinny. Jenna
didn't know what she was missing because boy, could she cook. 

Sitting in Bradley’s
room could give you hives.  The boy was totally unorganized, clothes on his
desk and books on his bed. It was like a warzone but he seemed to be completely
at peace with that.  He just sat with his arms folded behind his head, amongst
the papers on his bed, and listened to me. I spilled everything that happened, and
his vibrant green eyes stayed focused on me, attention unwavering.

And now having shared everything,
I couldn't help but notice just how cute he was and what a good friend he was. It
wasn’t hard to understand why Madison had given in and decided to date him,
knowing full well this would change their friendship forever. Me, on the other
hand, even if Madison hadn’t dated him, we would only ever be friends.