The Truth She Knew (18 page)

“
I love you muches and muches and muches,” he whispered.

I didn’t notice as he reached behind himself, dipped his hand in the sink, and doused me with soapy water. I giggled as I turned the faucet on cold, grabbed the sprayer, and let him have it. He laughed as he wrestled it from my hands and turned it back on me. My hair and T-shirt were soaked by the time Susan made it to the kitchen to find out what all the commotion was about.

She stood in the doorway, smiling, and shook her head.

“
You two clean it up,” she said as she made her way back to the living room.

We burst into giggles as Walker picked me up and twirled me around. Every time I thought times with him couldn’t get better, they did.

“
We better get you out of that wet shirt,” Walker said as he raised an eyebrow at me.

I giggled as I backed away and put my hands in front of me, warding off his threats of tickling me. Right as his fingers met my side the phone rang. I froze in place. The last time Walker’s phone rang it was bad news. Although the afternoon had been incredible, there was the constant nagging of the real life that was waiting for me to return so it could chew me up and spit me out.

“
Hey, Joss,” Walker said into the phone. “Just a minute, she’s right here.”

I sighed with relief and leaned against the kitchen wall to steady myself.

“
It’s okay, it’s just Joss,” Walker said, turning to me. “You can take it in my bedroom and I’ll clean up the kitchen.”

“
No, I helped make the mess. Wait a minute and I’ll help.”

I walked into his bedroom and picked up the phone.

“
Hey,” Joss said.

“
Hey yourself, how are you?”

“
Good, but I got a little worried when I called your house six times and no one answered. Are you okay?”

“
Well, it’s been a hell of a night and day.”

I filled her in on how Krissy had caught Walker and me in the parking lot after work, how she’d told Mama about us, Mama’s seizure, and Walker getting in Krissy’s face. Joss remained silent as I told her one event after another.

“
Are you going to go back to the hospital?”

“
Yeah, I need to visit Mama and find out when she’s coming home. I haven’t heard from anyone since the doctor said we could see her.”

“
Lacey, you can stay with me while she’s in the hospital if you want. You can always stay here if you need us.”

“
Thanks—I love you for being an amazing friend. I don’t think I’ll be going home until she’s back.”

“
Are you staying at Walker’s?”

“
Honestly, I’m not sure. We haven’t talked about it.”

“
Okay, well if you can’t, just call me and tell me you’re coming over. Mom and I rented some movies so we can hang out if you want.”

“
I’ll let you know.”

I hung up the phone and returned to a clean and dry kitchen. I found Walker, Linda, and Susan watching TV and sat down next to Walker on the couch. He put his arm around me and I leaned into him and got comfortable.

I’d told Joss everything except that I’d slept with Walker. I didn’t want to tell anyone yet. I just wanted to keep it between Walker and myself for now. I needed something to hold on to over the next few days; something special that no one could take from me.

Susan said I could stay as long as I needed to. I promised to make myself useful: help clean, run errands, and help Garrett with homework. She opened her home to me and I wanted to let her know I appreciated it. I’d never really be able to tell her how much it all meant to me, but I was going to try.

I mentally reviewed my finances and decided I could swing taking some time off until Walker left for the military.

“
Hey,” I said. “Can I use your phone? I need to call work.”

“
You don’t have to ask, Lace,” Walker replied.

I slipped out from under his arm and went into the kitchen to call work. I told them Mama was in the hospital and requested a few weeks off. I promised to keep them updated on when I would return.

I sighed as I replaced the receiver. Walker had already given notice to his job so he could spend his last weeks with his family. Even though I was worried about Mama, now I had some extra time with him too.

It was 11
p.m.
when Walker and I settled into bed. This time, we didn’t snuggle. We made love again and it hurt a little less. Afterward, he wrapped me in his arms and I fell asleep listening to his soft breathing.

The next morning, I woke and showered before Walker could see my makeup smeared and hair in every direction. Not that he hadn’t before, but I was also sore and wanted a hot shower and a few minutes alone.

I turned on the water and let it warm up as I slipped out of my clothes. I stared at myself naked in the mirror. I was different; maybe no one could see it, but something new stirred inside me. Not just physically, but emotionally. Whatever it was, Walker loved me and that in itself gave me hope. I believed in myself a little bit more.

There were moments I was still confused and went back and forth about who was right, Mama or Linda. Was I actually possessed, or was Mama sick? Sometimes I believed Linda, but other times fear taunted me with the possibility that I’d caused Mama’s seizure and that she was right. But somewhere inside me, a glimmer of hope flickered, and I began to think there was a possibility I wasn’t possessed. If I was, how could I love someone so much? And how could I love Susan and Garrett? How could I still love Mama no matter what happened?

After Linda talked to me that day, I’d read the material she’d given me concerning mental illness. The more time I took to digest it and think about Mama’s behavior, the more it sank in that something was wrong. We weren’t normal, but everyone was too terrified to say anything.

I’d also continued my research at school, since the college library allowed me the time and privacy I needed. I’d grabbed some books and read up on demon possession. Maybe I couldn’t explain some of my behavior all the time, but I didn’t do the things that the books described.

Even with all the information I’d gained, however, when you’re told for almost half your life that you’re possessed, that fear doesn’t dissipate overnight. A few weeks of new information doesn’t erase years of a mom who loves you one second and screams at you the next. It lingers like the fog until small rays of sunlight pierce through it.

It was almost ironic: right when everything around me was falling apart, the most amazing guy had strolled into my life.

I dressed, fixed my hair, and applied my makeup. The house was still quiet, so I made coffee and started breakfast for everyone. I heard Susan’s oxygen tank move across the floor as she made her way to the kitchen.

I pulled the kitchen chair out for her and helped her get situated. She smiled as I brought her a cup of coffee.

I finished the pancakes and bacon and piled everything on a big plate, set the table, and sat down to wait for Walker and Garrett.

“
We shouldn’t wait for them,” Susan said.

“
Really?”

“
Yeah, my mouth is watering.” She grinned as she grabbed a few pancakes and drizzled syrup over them. I did the same and giggled. We were like two silly girls sneaking around, and for some reason, it struck me as funny.

“
How are you?” I asked between bites.

“
Everything considered, I’m doing okay. I’m sorry your mom is in the hospital. Do you plan on visiting her today?”

I played with my pancakes as I nodded. I recognized it was the right thing to do, even if I didn’t want to.

“
Yeah. I need to find out if the doctors have figured out anything.”

“
I know I’ve already said it, but you can stay as long as you need, even after Walker leaves for the military.”

“
What? No, I couldn’t impose.”

“
You’re not imposing. It’d be nice if you stayed some, for Garrett and myself. Honestly, I could use your help if you’re open to it. Maybe some with Garrett. I realize you have a full course load at school and you work, but it would still be really nice to have you around.”

“
Really?”

“
Really.” She smiled.

“
I’d love to, Susan. That would mean the world to me.”

“
We’ll make plans to visit Walker a few times, too. Maybe you could help me drive?”

“
Drive your Camaro?” I squeaked.

Susan laughed until her coughing replaced the sound of her happiness. It was a rude reminder that she wouldn’t be around long.

“
Yes, you can drive my car on the trip.”

I grinned at her like it was Christmas morning.

“
Besides, now that you and Walker are officially serious and having sex, he’ll want to spend as much time with you as possible.”

My fork clattered to the floor. I reached down to pick it up without looking at her. How in the hell did she find out?

“
It’s okay, there’s no judgment here. You’re both young and in love—I figured it would only be a matter of time. I’ve told you before, but I’ll say it again. I’ve never seen Walker so happy.” She reached over and squeezed my hand.

“
How did you know?”

“
I know my son, and I could tell your relationship had shifted into something beyond what it was even a week ago. Your connection is deeper. That’s what happens when you become intimate with someone. It changes how you view each other and the world. And, if it’s a good thing, it strengthens the relationship. You and Walker have a good thing and I want to support and help you both hang onto it while he’s in transition. Besides, I have my own selfish reasons.”

“
You’re not selfish at all—the exact opposite, and I’ll do everything I can to stay close and help you and Garrett. It’ll help me as well. I don’t think I could handle not seeing
any
of you for six weeks.”

“
Not to worry, I think we have it all figured out.”

I squeezed her hand in return.

We finished eating and Susan made her way to her bedroom to rest. I put the plate of food in the oven for when the guys got up.

I’d planned on visiting the hospital today, but we also needed to get Walker’s car running again. I stepped outside into the crisp morning air and took a deep breath. Fall was in full force now, and the trees boasted bright red-and-yellow leaves. I wanted to take Walker to the pond again and instead of fight, make love to him. The thought of the cold air across our naked bodies sent a chill through me. I promised myself that I would make it happen before he left.

I heard the door close and turned around. Walker stood in the doorway, smiling.

“
Morning,” I said.

“
Morning, beautiful. How are you?”

He approached me and wrapped me in his arms. I snuggled into him and closed my eyes. Every moment, every kiss, every hug was worth a lifetime to me. We would start counting the days before he left soon, and I just couldn’t think about it yet.

“
Did you sleep okay?”

“
Yeah,” I said as I stared into his eyes. It never seemed to matter how many times I saw him; his eyes drew me in and I could get lost forever in them.

I rose up on my tiptoes and kissed him good morning.

I snapped back as I remembered what Susan had said.

“
Holy shit, your mom found out we had sex!” I squealed.

Walker narrowed his eyes in confusion as he waited for me to clarify.

“
Walker, she knows we’re sleeping together,” I whispered.

“
Yeah, she said we could,” he replied.

“
No,” I said, impatiently patting his chest. “She knows we’re having sex.”

Walker paused as my words registered, and then he shocked the hell out of me with a huge smile.

“
What? I was a little bit mortified when she brought it up over pancakes!” I retorted and leaned against his car.

Walker laughed and kissed my forehead.

“
Lace, I’m sorry you were embarrassed. I didn’t say anything if that’s what you’re thinking, but Mom was well aware of my last relationship and she probably just figured it was a matter of time.”

“
So, you didn’t tell her? You two are really close.”

“
No, I wouldn’t have said anything, but she isn’t stupid either. She figured that when you started spending the night, it would happen.”

“
Well isn’t that a bit presumptuous of both of you?” I huffed and rubbed my arms against the chill.

“
Don’t get upset. But are you going to tell me that when we slept next to each other the first night, you weren’t even considering it? Even a little bit?”

It irritated me that he was right. It also irritated me that they’d assumed we would start sleeping together if we kept dating. And for some reason, I didn’t want to admit the truth to him, which was probably silly, but I didn’t.

“
I had no intention of sleeping with you, Walker Tate Farren, but I fell in love with you, so as far as I’m concerned it’s your fault. I have other things to think about than if you assumed we would eventually have sex.”

Walker couldn’t contain his smile.

“
What?” I asked, exasperated by this conversation. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone, especially Susan, and here I was having a conversation about my sex life twice before 10
a.m.
 

“
You’re so cute when you get feisty. It makes me want to kiss you,” he said as he took one long stride, grabbed me, and kissed me with so much passion that I wanted him to take me right there on the hood of his car.