The Truth She Knew (19 page)

“
I love you,” he whispered.

“
Muches and muches and muches,” I replied.

We held each other in silence for a moment and listened to what we were telling each other without saying anything. A cocoon of safety wrapped around me—something I’d never dared dream about before I met him.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Walker again. My brain had started reminding me that we couldn’t stand around all day; we had things to do.

“
How’s Garrett been doing in school since I’ve been helping him?” I asked.

“
Honestly, I have no idea, but you can ask him. He likes you, a lot, actually. He hardly ever talked to Brittany.”

Walker stopped short as soon as the name escaped his lips. I understood it was a part of his past and a part of who he was, but I hated her name coming out of his mouth. I folded my arms and stared at my feet.

“
I’m sorry,” he said. “I honestly don’t think about her anymore. It was over months before I ever met you.”

“
I know, but it’s hard sometimes. You and Brittany dated for three years, and we’re just beginning,” I said.

“
I know,” he said and reached for my hand.

“
So, I need to get to the hospital today,” I said, changing the subject. “Which means we need to get your car fixed, right?”

“
Yeah, I found out what’s wrong. I just haven’t had time to deal with it.”

“
Is it anything major?”

“
Well, I need a new battery, but it’ll still start.”

Confused, I waited for him to explain.

“
With a stick shift you can push the car to get it moving, pop the clutch, and it’ll start. If you’re on a hill, it’s easy. If you’re not, you have to push if fast enough so you get enough speed to pop the clutch.”

“
I need to learn to drive your car,” I said, smiling. His brown Nissan wasn’t new, but it radiated character and it fit Walker. “Okay, since I have no clue how to drive a stick shift yet, I’ll push.”

“
Lacey, you are not pushing my car!” Walker exclaimed.

“
Hey—I might be little, but I have pushed a car before,” I said, quite proud of myself.

“
Really?”

“
Yup, one of my friend’s cars broke down and I pushed it off the highway and onto a side road until we could get help. And yes, by myself, so stop looking at me that way.”

“
You continue to surprise me,” he said as he ran his hand through his hair.

“
I’m sure you’ll be okay,” I said, smiling. “Should we get ready to go, then?”

“
Let’s say bye to Mom and tell her we’re leaving. I wanna see if she needs anything, too.”

“
I need to grab a few things as well,” I said and followed him into the house.

Fifteen minutes later, we were on the road to the hospital. Walker glanced at me several times, shook his head, and grinned. I guess he hadn’t believed me when I said I could push his car.

I hated the stench of the hospital. I realized they were helping people get better, but people died here, too.

Nurses hustled from room to room, machines beeped, people cried, and it was everything I could do to keep walking down the hallway, get into the elevator, and push the fifth-floor button.

Walker was silent as we walked, but he squeezed my hand as we made it to the ICU floor. I figured he was thinking about Susan; she was often in the hospital for weeks at a time. Guilt gnawed at me. The only reason he stepped foot into a hospital again was because of me, but at the same time, he wouldn’t let me go by myself. He would leave me alone in a few weeks, but not until then.

We stopped at Mama’s closed door and Walker released my hand.

“
I’ll be right here, okay?”

I nodded and gently knocked on the door before I pushed it open. Mama was hooked up to more machines than I’d ever seen. I leaned against the wall as I took it all in. She slept as I stared at her. I was glad she was asleep because I couldn’t articulate any words anyway. Tears slid down my cheeks as her chest rose and fell.

Had I done this? Was this my fault? I couldn’t stand the pressure building in my chest as the walls dared to close in on me. I opened the door and bolted out of the room.

Walker pulled the door closed behind me. I couldn’t look at him yet. I wanted to find the doctor. I needed answers.

I darted down the hall to the nurses’ station and left Walker standing alone by Mama’s door.

“
Hi, I’m Lynn Beaumont’s daughter. Is her doctor available?” I asked.

“
Let me page him, hon,” the nurse said.

Her voice echoed through the PA system and minutes later a middle-aged doctor came around the corner. I recognized Dr. Snider from earlier.

“
Lacey,” he said as he extended his hand.

“
Hi, Doctor Snider. Thank you for talking to me,” I said.

“
I didn’t see you around when I spoke with Patsy and Krissy. I have a few minutes if you have questions?”

“
I do. They haven’t told me anything about Mama or what happened, so I’m really confused about why she’s still in ICU.”

“
Let’s have a seat,” he said as he led me to some empty chairs in the waiting room.

“
Lacey, we called in a neurologist and a cardiologist to discuss what was going on with your mother. Several things can cause a seizure, so we wanted to check every avenue. We diagnosed your mom with malignant hypertension.”

He paused before he continued.

“
Malignant hypertension is a rapid rise in blood pressure, typically one eighty over one twenty or higher. It causes severe headaches, numbness, shortness of breath, and blurred vision, among other symptoms. In your mom’s case, it caused a seizure. Unfortunately, we suspect she has high blood pressure and it went undiagnosed for a long time.”

“
Yeah, she always talked about not feeling well, but we couldn’t ever get her to go to the doctor. She hasn’t been in years.”

“
That’s what Patsy said as well.”

“
What caused it, though? I mean, I understand her blood pressure went high really fast . . .” my voice faded as the memory of that night replayed. “But what causes high blood pressure to begin with?”

“
There are several factors. A few include diet, weight, lack of exercise, and poor sleeping habits.”

“
Mama’s all of those. She rarely leaves the house, sits in a chair all day, doesn’t sleep well, and she’s really overweight.”

Dr. Snider nodded in agreement.

“
But, did I—” I took a deep breath and blurted out my question before I lost my nerve. “Did I cause her seizure?”

“
Why would you ask that?” His face filled with concern as he waited for my answer.

“
She found out I was dating someone. I was dating him for several weeks before she found out, and she got furious.” Shame washed over me and I stared at my shoes, afraid to hear his answer.

“
How old are you, Lacey?”

“
I’m eighteen,” I replied as I looked up at him.

A gentle smile crossed his face.

“
I have four daughters and as they reached eighteen and nineteen every one of them waited to tell me about a new relationship until they went on a few dates. It’s perfectly normal. And as you get older, the relationship has the potential to get serious. I don’t think my daughters would’ve wanted to tell me about every single date they had in college until they were sure it was someone they wanted to bring home. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you didn’t make your mom have a seizure. This was a problem that has built up over the years.”

“
You’re sure?” I asked.

His kind smile reappeared. “I’m absolutely confident. You have not made your mother ill. Her choices have.”

“
So, I didn’t cause the seizure by making her angry?”

“
It was going to happen one way or another. You’re not responsible.”

I nodded as I took in his words.

“
How long will she be here?”

“
I’d guess about a week and then we’ll send her home with a diet plan and schedule regular visits to the doctor. They’ll help her lose weight and manage her blood pressure. I will tell you that if she doesn’t take care of herself, this could be fatal next time,” he said gently.

I sucked in a sharp breath.

“
She could die?” I hiccupped.

“
Yes. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but you’re an adult and you need to hear the truth.”

“
Okay,” I said and stood up. “Thank you so much for taking the time to speak with me. I really appreciate it.”

“
Here’s my card. You can call me anytime if you have questions or concerns.”

“
Thank you, Doctor,” I said and shook his hand goodbye.

He walked away, and I sat back down and stared at the card. I didn’t cause Mama’s seizure. I didn’t almost kill her when I told her about Walker. I wasn’t responsible. I sighed and leaned back in my seat as relief flooded over me. I tucked the card into the inside zipper of my purse. This was another secret I would keep close to my heart until I needed it.

I glanced at my watch and realized I’d left Walker outside Mama’s door for fifteen minutes.

I hurried back to her room and spotted Walker sitting in the hallway, head against the wall. My heart stuck in my throat. He was still there waiting for me. I’d taken off on him and he hadn’t left me.

He stood as I approached. I ran to him and hugged him as hard as I could. He returned my embrace and held me.

“
I’m so sorry I took off. I shouldn’t have left you,” I said, not letting him go.

“
It’s okay. I know what it’s like when someone you love is connected to machines and cords and . . . and the sinking pit in your stomach because you can’t save them or make it better.”

We pulled apart and I reached up to kiss him.

“
The only thing that’s going to make it better is that we’re together,” I said. “I don’t think I could go through this without you. And you know I love you, Susan, and Garrett.”

“
I know, and I love you too,” he said and kissed my forehead.

With so many people in the hallway, I didn’t realize that Krissy had approached us.

“
Well, isn’t that sweet.” She eyed us in disgust. “I hope you haven’t visited and upset Mama.”

“
No, she was asleep and I didn’t want to wake her.”

“
That was unusually kind of you,” she snapped.

“
We just came to visit your mom and talk to the doctor,” Walker said.

I squeezed Walker’s hand hard at the mention of the doctor.

“
Oh?”

“
Yeah, I talked to him,” I said, “and he told me Mama will stay in ICU while they run tests. He explained her diagnosis.”

“
Did he explain that you caused her seizure?”

“
Shut the hell up, Krissy,” Walker said as he took a step forward.

I pulled on his arm and brought him back alongside me. I reminded myself of the conversation with the doctor and his card in my purse. I already knew the truth, and nothing Krissy said at this moment could hurt me. I was also smart enough to keep my mouth shut.

“
I assume you have to go back to school soon?” I asked.

“
Yes, and if I don’t get back to take finals next week, I’ll fail the term. Patsy has promised me she’ll take care of Mama. You, on the other hand, need to knock off your nonsense or I’m coming back and there’ll be hell to pay.”

“
Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind,” I muttered. “When are you leaving?”

“
My flight leaves at eight o’clock tomorrow night, so if you would leave until then, I’d appreciate it. I don’t need Mama having another seizure when she sees you.”

“
Not a problem. Have a safe flight back,” I said as I took Walker’s hand, turned around, and left Krissy standing in the hall.

“
Thank you,” I said, looking up at Walker.

“
For what?”

“
For standing up to her on more than one occasion. It means a lot to me.”

“
I love you and that’s what I’m supposed to do.”

“
Well, do you remember our day at the lake when I offered to trade Krissy for Garrett and you said that worked for you?”

“
Crap,” Walker laughed. “Yeah, I remember, but I take it back. I am
not
trading. She’s a handful. Besides, Garrett likes you already,” he said and smiled.

“
I’m glad—I like him a lot too.”

“
So, I need to grab some clothes and you’ve never been to my house. I figure while Patsy and Krissy are at the hospital and no one’s there, I’ll show you around?”

“
Sure, sounds good,” Walker replied. “Shall I drive?”

“
Well, with all the commotion, I left my car parked here at the hospital,” I said, rubbing my forehead. “I should probably take it home, but now I don’t remember where I parked.”

I was so used to passing the hospital as I drove to work that I’d never realized how big it was. I didn’t even remember which entrance I had used. All I remembered was puking on the side of the road and how terrified I was. I thought I’d killed Mama.

“
It’s okay, we can just drive around,” Walker said. “We’ll find it.”

“
What if your car won’t start?” I giggled. I wasn’t sure why I thought the situation was funny because it wasn’t. Stress manifested in weird ways.

“
Then I’ll have someone jump it—not the end of the world,” Walker said, smiling.