The Truth She Knew (15 page)

“
That’s not true,” Walker said, taking a step toward Krissy. “You’re not getting the truth, Krissy. Did you even ask Lacey what happened and who pushed who?”

“
I didn’t have to, Mama told me everything,” Krissy said as her chin jutted upward.

“
I suppose she said demons made Lacey push her? Made Lacey act that way?” Walker asked as he closed the gap between them.

If I hadn’t been so shocked that Walker had stood up for me, I would have laughed my ass off at the stunned expression on Krissy’s face. No one had the balls to get in her face. My heart beat faster than the Grinch’s at that moment—Walker didn’t believe my family’s vicious lies.

“
I know the truth, Krissy. Maybe it’s time you did too.”

Krissy took a few steps back and then walked away. It was then that I spotted her car on the other side of the parking lot. I hoped she tripped over a rock and ate pavement. It served her right for what she’d said.

Krissy pulled out of the parking lot and Walker wrapped his arms around me. I snuggled against him as his heart pounded against my cheek. He was mad. I had just witnessed firsthand Walker Farren getting pissed.

“
Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded. I didn’t want to let him go, ever.

We stood in silence for a few minutes until I pulled back.

“
Walker, she’s going to tell Mama. There’s nothing I can do to stop her. I’m in deep shit.”

“
I’ll come with you and meet your Mom, then. Maybe it will help calm her down.”

“
You can’t. She hates it if I bring someone over without asking. It will make things worse, if that’s possible.”

“
What do you want me to do? You can’t stay there with them.”

“
I have to go home, Walker. I have to tell her I’m dating you. I’m glad Krissy showed up. I’ve wanted to tell Mama anyway. I love you. I don’t want to hide you. I don’t want to hide our relationship anymore. It’s time—I just wish I’d told her sooner. This is my fault. If I’d already told Mama, Krissy wouldn’t have anything to hold over my head. She still doesn’t. I won’t give her the satisfaction. I’m sorry.”

“
Stop, you can’t apologize for your sister. She’s responsible for her own actions, not you. Call me later?”

“
I’ll do my best. It might be tomorrow, though. I have class at nine and a break at noon.”

“
I’ll be there,” he said and kissed me on the forehead. “I’ll be there.”

I let our hands slip apart as I searched his blue eyes.

“
I love you—” I began.

“—
muches and muches and muches,” he finished.

I got into my car and locked the doors. I peered in the rearview mirror as I pulled away. Within a few short minutes, Walker had protected me and then stood helpless as I drove away. I wanted to reassure him that everything was going to be okay, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even tell myself that.

Guilt reared up its familiar head as I once again realized that I shouldn’t have brought Walker into this messed-up situation. I suspected that Krissy was at home telling Mama what she’d seen and I was going to walk into a shitstorm.

My mind raced with exit strategies: where the doors were, where I should stand or sit while Mama was casting demons out of me and screaming. I had my bag packed and hidden in my trunk, so I had enough clothes to make it a few days.

I mentally kicked myself all the way home for not being honest with Mama, but it was no use now. I’d screwed up and it was time to confess.

I pulled my Mustang into the driveway and took several deep breaths. My hands shook as I gathered my purse and stepped out of my car. I should have stayed with Walker. I shouldn’t have come home and pretended that I wanted to be brave. I was eighteen, almost nineteen. I didn’t legally have to come back at all.

I leaned against my car and closed my eyes, thinking about Walker, Susan, and even Garrett picking his nose the first time I saw him. I was going to talk to Mama because I loved them. I loved all of them and I wanted to spend as much time with Susan as I could before she left us.

It was Susan’s support that moved my feet up the steps, across our porch, and through the front door into our living room.

I was shocked by the image in front of me. I blinked a few times, thinking the light was too bright after standing outside in the dark, but the picture before me didn’t change.

Mama sat in her chair, Patsy on the couch, and Krissy in the recliner. They didn’t even look at me as I came in. In fact, they were watching TV and laughing.

I stared at them for a moment until Krissy waved at me to close the door.

I walked to the kitchen table and put my purse and books down. I wanted to have everything close in case I needed to make a run for it, but this wasn’t what I was prepared for at all.

“
What are y’all watching?” I asked. I could barely hear my own voice over the pounding in my ears.

“
Miami Vice,
” Mama said, not really paying much attention to me.

I glanced at the TV again, picked up the books I’d left on the table, and made it a few steps before Krissy spoke.

“
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you I met Lacey after work today, Mama,” she said.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around to stare at her.

“
Well, why are you home so much later, Lacey?” Mama asked.

I tried to collect my words, but there was no right way to say it.

“
I . . .”

“
She was with a boy,” Krissy blurted.

I glanced around the room. No one said a word, but all eyes were on me. Mama turned the TV off. That was my cue to run if I was going to, but I didn’t want to run. I didn’t want to hide Walker anymore. My shaking knees argued with my decision.

“
Mama, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first,” I said as I shot Krissy a look. It should have sent her to hell, but unfortunately it didn’t work. She still sat in the living room with a smug expression on her face.

“
Who is he?” Mama asked. Her voice remained steady. The calm before the storm; I recognized it all too well. She was just gathering additional information before planning her attack.

“
His name is Walker.”

“
Oh, so you did lie to me. You said you didn’t give him our phone number when he called that night. You also denied seeing anyone when I asked you last week.”

“
I didn’t lie, Mama. Tammy gave him my number and told him it was okay to call. She was being a brat. She knew it wasn’t okay for him to call after nine.”

Mama stared at me for a moment longer and remained unusually quiet. I leaned against the wall, my books still in my hands.

“
So, you’ve been going out with him for a month now?”

“
Yes, almost a month.”

“
Krissy, how did you meet him?”

“
He was all over her in the parking lot at work. They didn’t even care that other people were around. They are definitely sleeping together, you can tell by the way they act.”

“
That is not true!” I yelled. “We are not sleeping together, Krissy, you’re just guessing. You met him for five seconds and you already think you have us all figured out!”

“
Enough!” Mama sat up straight in her chair. “Sit down, Lacey!”

This was it. I put my books down and sat in the rocking chair farthest away from Mama. I was regretting my decision. I shouldn’t have come home at all. Krissy was enjoying the entertainment of Mama getting pissed that I was dating someone. Krissy dated all the time, but Mama never found out because she was away at college, so it never became an issue.

“
Lacey, I’m glad Krissy spotted you. She just confirmed what God has already shown me. I knew you were with someone that Sunday, but you lied to me then, too. I spend entire days praying for you and this is how you repay me? This is how you treat a family who loves you? You ungrateful little bitch,” she snarled.

I drew in a sharp breath as she talked. I would never get used to her calling me names.

“
Krissy is right and you’re sleeping with him, aren’t you? Those demons are leading you around on a leash and you just give in to any boy who pays attention to you. There’s a part of you that enjoys it, or you would be free of them by now—I pray too hard for you not to be. This is your fault. You want them to stay!”

“
Mama that’s not true, and just because I’m dating someone doesn’t mean I have demons.”

Mama’s face turned red as she struggled for words. I’d never said anything like that to her before.

“
Who told you that?” she spat. “Your little boyfriend? And you believe him? He’s just trying to get you into bed, you stupid little girl.”

“
No he isn’t, Mama!”

“
You’re so naïve you’ll believe anything he says.”

“
Mama that’s not true. Please, just meet him and you can find out for yourself. He’s a good guy. I think you would even like his mom.”

“
His mother?”

Dammit, I’d gone too far. When was I going to learn to keep my mouth shut? I wanted to slap the part of me that wanted Mama’s approval of my choices, my friends, and my relationships. When was I going to finally accept the truth that she’d never approve of anything I did?

“
You’ve met his mother?” she asked quietly.

I nodded.

“
So now you’ve met his perfect little family who loves you? Is that it? But they have no idea, do they? They have no idea what you do, how you hurt people, how sick you really are.”

I couldn’t answer the question. If Mama knew the truth, it would be the end of it. She would fly across the room and be on me in a flat second.

“
Answer me, dammit!” she said. “You brought this on yourself. You schemed and plotted behind my back and didn’t think God would tell me? He put your sister there at the right moment and she loves you enough to say something to me in order to save your sorry ass!”

“
That’s not true,” I whispered.

“
What? I didn’t hear you.” Mama stood up and took a few steps toward me.

“
I said . . .” My voice faltered.

Mama’s face froze and her body stiffened. Her eyes glazed over and she stared through me. The floor shook violently as she dropped to the ground.

“
Mama!” I yelled as I jumped out of my chair and grabbed her hand.

Mama remained rigid as her whole body twitched. Her head tilted back and only the whites of her eyes were visible.

I don’t remember who called 911 as I talked to Mama. I didn’t know what was happening; Mama had never done anything like this before. Krissy held Mama’s head in her lap and tried to keep her from thrashing around, but she was strong.

As abruptly as it began, it stopped. Mama lay still no matter what we did. Krissy, Patsy, and I were all talking to her at the same time. Patsy patted her face and I squeezed her hand, but there was no response.

It seemed like hours before I heard the sirens in the background, but I knew that couldn’t be right. A fire station was less than a mile away. They’d be the first to arrive, with an ambulance right behind them.

Strong arms pulled me up to a standing position and moved me away from Mama as the emergency team gathered around her. I stood rooted to the floor in horror as they checked her vitals and rattled off information to each other. They placed an oxygen mask over her face and her eyes fluttered open. She had a fearful expression; she was probably trying to understand why strange men were all around her, and what had happened.

Patsy stepped in and took her hand. She spoke quietly to Mama as the team continued to work on her. Then they wheeled Mama out of the house on the gurney, and I followed.

As Patsy was climbing into the ambulance, she told me to meet her and Krissy at the hospital. Krissy hopped into her car. All the vehicles pulled out of the driveway, and the red-and-blue lights broke through the darkness. This time the sound of the ambulance was for my family, not someone else’s.

I stood alone at the front door trying to grasp what had just happened. Then I ran back into the house and called Walker’s house. The phone rang six times, and I was about to hang up when Garrett answered.

“
Garrett, it’s Lacey.”

“
Hey, Lacey, what’s up?”

“
Buddy, I need to talk to Walker. They just took my mom to the hospital.”

“
Shit, really? Walker’s not here. He ran to the store for Mom, but he should be back in about thirty minutes.”

Thirty minutes would be an eternity, and I couldn’t wait to talk to him. I had to go.

“
Garrett, can you please ask him to meet me at the hospital as soon as he gets home?”

“
Yeah, I will—the second he walks in I’ll tell him, Lacey.”

“
You’re awesome, thank you. I have to go.”

“
Hey, keep us posted. Mom will worry until you call again and tell us you’re okay.”

“
I’m alright, Garrett, but I promise I’ll call.”

We hung up and I grabbed my purse and keys. It was a twenty-minute drive from Mama’s house to St. Augustine’s Hospital, but it would be almost an hour-long drive for Walker.

I drove the speed limit, not wanting to get pulled over. There was nothing I could do for Mama anyway, but I was scared. I’d never seen anything like it. I thought she’d died right there in front of everyone. If Mama died in the hospital, Krissy would never let it go. For the rest of our lives, she would accuse me of killing her.

Dread filled my stomach, and I pulled over just in time to empty the contents of my stomach on the side of the road. I steadied myself against the car as I wiped my mouth. My stomach gurgled again and I bent over as my gut rebelled against anything remaining inside it. By the fourth time, I was dry heaving and grateful nothing else came up.